Safe Place, page 12
Steam rose from the cup as he took a seat at the table and thought about his night. As hard as it was to let anyone see him down on his luck, he was glad Kent had driven by. Once again, Kent was there to save the day. Funny how often it happened. He was always there when he needed him.
He was mentally exhausted after breaking down in the shower, but deep inside, it did him good to get it all out. He'd held it in for so long, struggling not to lose it in the hospital, then even more when he'd ended up at the shelter. He had to remind himself of the blessings in his life. Without Kent, Trevor, Prince, and a few others he'd met recently, he would be much worse off.
The power flickered but stayed on and Aydin stood to grab several candles from on top of the fridge just in case. The matches were right where Kent said they would be. Hopefully he wouldn't need them, but he wanted them close.
He debated on cooking something for Kent when he got off work but didn't want to risk the power going out in the middle of something. It was such a strange night. He was almost a stranger to Kent, yet he'd dropped him off at the house without a second thought. That kind of trust meant something. Then again, Kent wouldn't have kissed him if there wasn't some kind of trust there. He could have easily pushed for more than a kiss if it had only been about sex, but he didn't. Aydin respected that. As aroused as he'd been, he wasn't ready for sex yet. His body argued that point, but his mind and heart needed time before jumping into a sexual relationship again. He had so much going on, and until he got his life in order, he didn't need to add anything else to complicate things.
After finishing the hot chocolate, he rinsed the cup and set it aside, figuring he might have another later. With the storm still blowing hard outside, he headed down the hall to throw the laundry in the dryer, then to the guest room. He picked up the book he'd had in his backpack, frowning at the corner of the book that hadn't escaped getting wet. Luckily, it didn't ruin the pages.
He stared at the bed, trying to remember exactly how long it had been since he'd slept on something other than a cot. He touched the soft comforter, pressed on the thick mattress, then picked up a plump pillow and hugged it to his bare chest. Tears came to his eyes again as he thought about how much he'd lost. When a simple pillow and normal bed were something he'd missed, it told him how bad his life had gotten. Setting the book on the nightstand, he climbed on the bed and eased down on it, sighing in pleasure at the feel of a real mattress under his body. He hugged one pillow to him as he rested his head on the other and closed his eyes. He'd just rest a bit until Kent came home. He closed his eyes and found peace for the first time in weeks.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Kent woke to sunlight shining through his bedroom window. He glanced at the clock and sighed, rubbing his hand down his face. It was already ten. He'd hoped to be up by eight since he was sure after working mornings during the week Aydin would be up early.
It had been after one when he'd gotten home, having had a call right before his shift ended that had kept him out late. He closed his eyes again, wishing he could forget the images of the car accident that had killed two people in the rain last night. It hadn't been anyone's fault. The car simply lost control on the wet road and rolled down an embankment. The couple inside had been headed home from the hospital after the woman's mother had suffered a heart attack and died. He didn't want to think about the grief that the family was going through having three members die in one night. Sometimes he hated his job.
He heard a noise in the kitchen and forced himself to get out of bed. When he'd gotten home, he'd found Aydin asleep in the guest room. He'd watched him for longer than he probably should have, seeing peace on Aydin's sleeping face that he hadn't ever seen there before. It was only the fact that he was soaked to the bone after working the accident that had kept him from going into the room and curling up with Aydin. He'd needed to hold someone after working that accident. It was one of the rare nights when he'd longed to have someone to come home to. Someone to hold.
He'd forced himself to shut off the lights and go to his own room. Now he wondered how Aydin might have reacted if he'd slipped onto the bed beside him and just held him. Sure, he wanted more with Aydin in time, but last night, he'd just needed to be close and hold someone. He'd gone from furious that Aydin had ended up on the streets in the storm and hadn't called, to staring at the man sleep, wondering how he could talk him into staying.
As he brushed his teeth and stared at his reflection in the mirror, trying not to see the lines that were starting to crease his face, Kent thought about what he'd say to Aydin. Convincing him to stay with him until he could get on his feet wouldn't be easy. He understood Aydin's need to make it on his own, but the fact was, the shelter wasn't safe. It wasn't a guaranteed bed for the night. If he stayed here, he'd have a safe place to sleep and food whenever he wanted it. He wouldn't have to rush out and rent some dump. He could save up more money and get a nice place that might cost a bit more. Staying here would ease the desperation Aydin had to be feeling.
He walked into the kitchen and smiled. "Morning. Sorry I slept so late. It was after one before I got home."
Aydin looked up from the table and smiled. "It's okay. I must have been more tired than I thought. I slept until about an hour ago. I hope you don't mind I made coffee and helped myself to a bowl of cereal."
"I don't mind at all. I'm glad you're making yourself at home and thankful to have coffee ready for me." He poured a cup and sat down. "I'm glad the rain stopped finally."
"Me too. Thanks again for letting me stay here last night. I'd have been okay if it hadn't been raining like crazy."
That was a lie and they both knew it. The streets downtown weren't safe on the clearest of nights. "You should have called me the moment you found out you couldn't get a bed."
"I promise if it happens again, I will." Aydin stared at his coffee cup as if he was worried Kent might see the lie in his eyes.
"About that, I think we should talk about you moving out of the shelter and staying here for a while. You can work, save money, get on your feet, then find a place. You won't have to worry that when you work overtime you might not have a bed. I've got plenty of room. I'm gone every evening. You'll have the place to yourself after work. I think it's a good option." He stared at Aydin, ready for the argument he was sure would come.
"Kent…"
"I know, but think about it. You'll be safe. You'll have a bed every night. You can work any hours you want without worrying. You can save more money and not jump into a cheap dump just to have a place. It makes sense."
"It's farther from work. I can't walk to work every day."
"We'll get you a bus pass, and as for mornings, if Trevor and Prince live where I think they do, my house is on his way to the bakery. It would be closer for Prince to pick you up here than it is now." It was probably a five-minute difference, but he'd use any argument he could. "The bus passes my street right on the corner."
"I'd have to pay you rent. I can't just take advantage of you."
"Mow the grass, help me keep up with the garden. There's a ton of shit around here I need to get done that I'm too lazy or tired to do. Between the two of us, we can get some of it done. I know how badly you want to do this on your own, but you know the shelter isn't helping you. It's a hindrance. You're not safe, you can't eat right. How long until you're one of the victims of a robbery or a rape? I'm a cop. I know what happens there at night. I see the reports every morning of the calls we get when people are attacked while they sleep."
Aydin's shoulders slumped.
"Just think about it. Stay the weekend and see how it goes. If you seriously don't want to stay, I won't push, but it kills me to know you're at the shelter when I have a perfectly good room you can use. I'm not trying to manipulate you, and this has nothing to do with what's happening between us. We'll have separate rooms. We'll be roommates who hug and kiss a lot." Kent grinned, trying to lighten the mood. He could see how badly Aydin didn't want to agree with any of this, but he also had seen the fear in his eyes when he'd mentioned people being robbed and raped at night. He had to have seen it going on while there. "I just want you to be safe. You don't belong at the shelter. You're being punished for Jason's behavior. You don't deserve that. He beat you. It's not right you're the one who has to rebuild."
"I made the choices that put me into that position." Aydin looked up. "I let him take control of everything, leaving me without resources or a place to go when it did get bad."
"It's still not right you suffer, and he doesn't."
"I agree, but it is what it is. I know better than to date a politician's son now, right?" Aydin sighed. "You don't have to do this. You shouldn't suffer because I made bad choices."
"How am I going to suffer with you moving in here? I get someone to talk to. I don't have to come home to an empty house. We both work long hours, and we won't have a ton of time together, but just knowing someone else is here is nice. Look how big this place is. If you need time alone, you'll have plenty of it. Why sleep on a thin cot when there's a comfortable bed you can use?"
"Okay, okay. I get it. Everything you said is true. I just hate taking handouts."
"Don't look at it like a handout. You'll be helping me out around here."
Aydin held up a hand. "I get it. I really do, and I'll take you up on your offer, but you have to promise me if it's not working out, you'll tell me. I can go back to the shelter. It won't be long before I can afford an apartment. A few more weeks at most. And there's always a chance Trevor will have a place come open."
"Let Trevor give that to someone who really needs it to get off the streets. You're safe here. The only thing you'll have to deal with here is Matt and I screaming at the TV on game night from time to time." Kent was breathing easier having Aydin agree to move in. He hadn't realized how badly he'd been worried about him at the shelter until now.
"I can handle that." Aydin laughed. "Might even join in."
"I hope so. I want you to feel at home here." Kent took a sip of coffee, then set the cup down. "Thank you. It puts my mind at ease knowing you'll be here. Not just because of the issues at the shelter, but because I don't think Jason's done bothering you. He got his hand slapped for walking into your work. Again, a warning. No charges at all for breaking the restraining order. He claimed he was coming in for dinner and had no idea you worked there. We know that's a lie, but it is what it is. I just want you to be careful. We'll go get you a bus pass today but be very careful and alert walking to and from the bus stops. I'd like to start training you how to use a gun if you're okay with that. Then if you'll let me, I'll pay to help you get your background check and take the class so you can carry legally. I'll loan you a gun you can keep on you once you're legal. It's not a quick solution. It will take weeks before you're able to carry, and I hope we've got this shit with Jason dealt with before that, but it's never bad to know how to protect yourself and carry legally."
Aydin stood, going over to the counter, and poured himself another cup of coffee. "I don't understand why he won't let me go."
"I don't understand men like him either. All I know is they can be dangerous. For some reason, he's obsessing over you. You have to be careful. What if he'd come up on you last night instead of me?"
"I thought about that as I walked." Aydin sighed. "I get everything you're saying. I'll be careful. I'll stay in crowds when I can. But what if he finds out I'm living with you? I don't want him going after you or coming here to your home."
Kent grinned. "Did you forget I'm a cop? He brings anything here and he's going down hard. I'll arrest him and make sure he doesn't get out. Threatening a cop takes things to another level and I'm not sure he can brush something like that off. Even the district attorney will have to pay attention then."
Aydin set his coffee cup on the counter. "Are you sure this is the best idea?"
Kent stood, going to stand directly in front of Aydin. He gripped his shoulders and stared directly into his eyes. "This is the best idea. You know it is. I get you don't want to have to ask for help. You want to do this on your own, but it's time to swallow your pride. Let me help you. I want you here. I want you safe. And I want you to realize that none of this is your fault. You didn't cause this. You didn't make him hit you. This is all on him."
"I should have realized…" Aydin ducked his head.
Kent used a single finger to lift Aydin's chin so he was forced to look at him again. "You loved him. He used that against you."
"How do I dare trust myself again?"
Kent hated the insecurity he saw in Aydin, but he understood it. "It will come slowly. You've already started. It won't happen overnight."
Aydin placed a hand over Kent's chest. "You make me want things, but then I think about what Jason did and I get scared. I swore after the beating I'd never trust another man again. I would rebuild my life and do it alone where no one could hurt me."
"I'm not going to lie and say I don't want more between us. I do. But I'm willing to go as slow as you need. To back off completely if you aren't ready. I get what Jason did will have an effect on you. You'll do things differently now than you did with Jason. I bet you never let anyone talk you into quitting a job or sharing a bank account again. It's understandable after what you've been through. You're going to overanalyze everything a guy does while you're dating. At least until more trust is built, and even then, you'll be on guard. You make me feel things too. I swore when I started to feel something for you, I'd hold off. Give you time. I don't regret kissing you, but I pray it doesn't spook you. I'm willing to take this at whatever pace you want or forget it altogether if you're more comfortable with that." He prayed Aydin didn't pick ending things before they even got started. It had been a long time since he'd felt an attraction to someone like he did with Aydin. He wanted to see where it would go.
Aydin dropped his head to Kent's shoulder. "I don't want to forget anything. I just need to go slow. It helps you understand why, and that I can't give up any control of my life right now. It's why moving in here is so hard. I didn't want to need help. But it seems I need you."
Kent kissed the top of Aydin's head as he hugged him. "You don't need me. You were doing fine on your own. Look at this as making things a little easier and safer for you. You could stay at the shelter and do it without any help, but why put yourself at risk? You can do everything you've been doing still but know you're safe at night. Know you aren't going to get robbed, beaten, or freeze if you can't get a bed every night."
Aydin's arms encircled Kent's body and he tightened the hug. "I want to see where this goes with you. I do trust you, but I don't fully trust myself." He lifted his head and stared at Kent. "But this feels too right to walk away."
"I think so too." Kent brushed a soft kiss over Aydin's lips. "We move at your pace, okay?"
Aydin nodded.
"Good. Now that we've cleared that up, let's go get your stuff from the garage and move it into your room. We'll go grocery shopping later today, but Matt will be over in a bit to go through another self-defense training."
"I've already eaten. You get something while I grab the stuff from the garage and get the laundry that I put in the dryer last night. By the time I'm done, Matt should be here." Aydin smiled and gave Kent another quick kiss. "Thank you for this. It means a lot. More than I think you know."
"You're welcome." Kent grinned. "Now go before I kiss you again and we get nothing done."
Aydin laughed as he pulled away.
As he watched Aydin walk out of the kitchen, he said a silent prayer of thanks that things had gone so well. It was one step, but a very big one.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Aydin glanced at the clock, hoping Kent wasn't held up at work. He'd made him a late dinner to thank him for everything he'd done over the last week. Aydin hadn't realized how nervous and on edge he'd been at the shelter until he didn't have to return there and could breathe a little easier being at Kent's house.
Some of the changes took some getting used to, but he constantly reminded himself that he was safe here. He didn't have to sleep with one eye open the way he had to do at the shelter. He could focus on what was important which was getting his life together and getting on his feet again.
For the first time since being beaten, he was able to let his guard down. At least when at the house. He still watched over his shoulder anytime he was out on the street waiting for a bus or even at work. Always watching out the window to see who was headed into the restaurant. He hadn't seen Jason but couldn't knock the feeling that he was being watched at times.
Opening the oven, he let the hot air release for a moment before he bent down and carefully pulled the chicken pot pie out of the oven. His stomach growled at the smell. He'd decided to wait to eat, not wanting Kent to eat alone.
He was proud of how well it turned out. He hadn't made it in years. He'd loved cooking until Jason had made it a chore and always told him how horrible his cooking was. At the time, he'd taken the words seriously, but now, he could see it had been just another way for Jason to attack him.
Aydin glanced out the window into the darkness. He was slowly getting used to being alone in the evenings after he got off work. It was usually around midnight before Kent got home, and since Aydin worked at four in the morning, he was in bed. They hadn't had much time to spend together, often leaving small notes for each other on the kitchen table when they needed to share something.
He didn't know what their plans for the weekend were, but he was looking forward to some time with Kent. He wasn't sure what was going on between them since they had so little time together, but he yearned for the closeness. He was trying very hard to take it slow. Make sure moving into some kind of relationship with Kent was the right thing to do, but it was hard. On one hand, he wanted to crawl into Kent's bed every night and take things to the next level, but on the other hand, he was scared to death he was going to make the same mistakes he'd made in the past and scared to let himself feel anything for Kent.
