I probably should have called and told her I was coming but I didn’t think about it beforehand. Now I was outside her apartment, blending into the darkness. I hadn’t been to Cambridge since I graduated, and even though the place was the same it looked different somehow.

  Or maybe I was just different.

  I took the stairs until I reached her floor and then I approached her door. I checked the number on the wall next to her light then compared it to the address I had written down.

  It was the right place.

  Instead of knocking right away, I just stood there. Even though I had plenty of time on the drive to think of what I was going to say, I didn’t have anything prepared. Honestly, I wasn’t totally sure how I felt. Maybe if I just talked it out with her, she would understand my meaning. I was taking this break up pretty hard and she must be too.

  After I steeled my nerves and squared my shoulders, I knocked. Then I stood back and put my hands in my pockets, trying to act casual. I didn’t want her to know how miserable I was. Of course, I wanted her to know I missed her but I didn’t want to look like a wreck either.

  Footsteps sounded on the other side of the door and then the lock clicked.

  I wondered how she would look. I knew her features intimately, and her face was permanently ingrained into my mind. It was the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep.

  The door opened but Alex didn’t greet me.

  It was a guy.

  He had messy brown hair that looked unkempt. It was like someone had ran their fingers through it a million times, trying to make him bald. His t-shirt was wrinkly like he just picked it up off the floor. It was uneven, hanging over one shoulder more than the other. It seemed like he put it on in a hurry.

  He was tall, as tall as I was. And he was good-looking.

  I didn’t like that.

  His eyes narrowed on my face, and judging the irritation there he wasn’t happy to see me. “Who are you?”

  His rudeness didn’t irritate me. “Is Alex here?” I refused to answer this jerk. Hopefully, I had the wrong apartment. There was a good chance I was in the wrong complex because there were so many around the college.

  “Yeah, but she’s in the shower.” He crossed his arms over his chest and didn’t move away from the entrance, like he was barricading it.

  She’s in the shower?

  Everything hit me hard in the chest. This good-looking guy just threw on a shirt to answer the door, and Alex was standing naked in the shower. I wasn’t an idiot. I could piece the puzzle together without any hints. I thought I couldn’t feel any worse.

  Until now.

  The guy stared at me like he expected me to say something. “Who are you?” he repeated.

  My heart had broken into tiny pieces, and they rattled inside my chest cavity like loose change. Pain shot through my body like it was injected into my system. I was hot and cold at the same time. “No one.”

  He studied my face.

  “I’m fucking no one.”

  Chapter Five

  Clementine

  Ward Jr. and I went to the doctor today, but the visit was for me, not him. Ward Jr. was nearly six weeks old, and it was time for my postnatal check. I had a small tear after I gave birth, but the bleeding had stopped. Hopefully, everything would be okay.

  Carrying a baby around everywhere I went was the biggest difference in my life. I definitely got more exercise because I had to push a stroller or carry him in a car seat. I personally preferred the stroller. We both got some fresh air.

  When I was in the patient room at the doctor’s office, I sat in the chair and looked into the stroller. Ward Jr. stared at me with a grin on his face. Then he would kick his feet and start giggling for no reason at all.

  “You’re so adorable…” I playfully pinched his little feet.

  He giggled again.

  I never knew I could fall so in love. Ward Jr. couldn’t talk or walk, but I felt like I knew him better than anyone. It was amazing that Ward and I made him, especially on accident.

  It was the best mistake of my life.

  He looked so much like Ward it was uncanny. It was exactly what I hoped for, a son that looked like the man I’d fallen in love with. It was the greatest gift anyone could have given me.

  The doctor walked inside with a clipboard then made his introductions. Then he examined me on the table. After he did his check up, he turned to Ward Jr. “Handsome young fellow.”

  “I know.” I didn’t bother being humble about it. My son was the cutest baby in the world.

  He chuckled. “It’s nice to see you as a happy mother. Postpartum depression is an unfortunate disease. I’m very glad to see you don’t have it.”

  There wasn’t a single reason to be depressed, in my opinion. “Actually, I realize how sad my life was before this little guy came into my life.”

  He smiled them made some notes on his clipboard. “Everything looks good, Clementine.”

  “It does?” I asked in relief. I hadn’t had any pain in the past few weeks, so I took that as a good sign.

  “Yep.” He gave me a smile before he headed to the door.

  I was a little embarrassed to ask my following question but I found the courage. “Is it safe for me to have intercourse…?”

  “Yes,” he said without any awkwardness. “You’re all good to go.”

  ***

  Ward came home at his usual time. Instead of hanging up his jacket and bag, he tossed them on the chair in the entryway and immediately joined us in the dining room and kitchen. He always had a look of excitement on his face, like that moment of coming home to his family was what he’d been looking forward to all day. “Daddy is home.” He headed to the playpen in the living room then scooped Ward Jr. into his arms. He was small in his large hands, and Ward brought his lips to Ward Jr.’s forehead and kissed him gently. “I missed you all day.” He stared down into his face with a look of adoration.

  I watched them from the kitchen, a smile on my face.

  Ward Jr. kicked his little feet and giggled while he looked at his father.

  “You looked after your mother today?” Ward spoke to him like he understood every word he said. “I’m sure you did.” He kissed him again before he returned him to the playpen.

  Ward left the living room and headed toward me, eagerness in his eyes. “Darling.” He cupped my face and gave me a warm kiss. His mouth moved against mine, and he even gave me a small amount of tongue. “I think I missed you even more.”

  “I missed you too.”

  He dug his hand into my hair then kissed my neck. “You smell nice.”

  “I smell like spaghetti,” I said with a chuckle. “Dinner is almost ready.”

  “Yum.” He rubbed his nose against mine. “Do you need any help?”

  “No. Take a shower. It’ll be on the table when you’re finished.”

  He watched me with affectionate eyes. “I love my life.”

  ***

  We brought the playpen near the kitchen table so we could keep an eye on Ward Jr. while we ate. I ate my salad first and noticed how heavy the ring felt on my finger. I wasn’t used to the weight and I wasn’t sure if I would ever be. But I never took it off my finger. The action would feel too weird.

  “How was your day?” Ward asked as he dug into his food. He always ate everything on his plate like he was starving. He told me he loved my cooking but the words were unnecessary. He proved it every day.

  “Good,” I said. “How was yours?”

  “It was okay,” he said. “I used to like my job but now I hate it.”

  That alarmed me. “Why do you hate it?”

  “Because I’m not home with you.” He gave me a smile before he kept eating.

  “Oh…” I was relieved that’s what he meant.

  “So…how’d the doctor go?”

  “It was good,” I said. “Ward Jr. is at a healthy weight and there was no complications with my delivery.”

  “Good,” he said as he took a bite of his garlic bread. Then he looked down and lowered his voice. “Is everything good to go then?” His meaning was implied. He watched his language and word choice around our son, even though he didn’t understand a word of what we said.

  “Yes.”

  His eyes noticeably lightened and his body tensed. He put down his garlic bread like his appetite had quickly evaporated. Ward had never pressed this subject but I knew it was on his mind. When he thought I wasn’t looking, he stared at me in the shower. And when I sat across from him at the table, he cast lustful looks my way. But he never made a move because he knew my body wasn’t ready.

  He dropped his fork then stared at me across the table. I knew what he was thinking because he didn’t eat his food. He was hungry, but for something else. Now his mind was consumed with the one thing he wanted. He looked down into the playpen and sighed. Then he turned back to me. “I don’t think I can wait until he’s in bed.”

  “Well, we can’t do it here…that’s just weird.”

  “Is he even aware of anything at this point?”

  I knew he was really horny if he was making these kinds of suggestions. “Ward, people go to jail for that.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck in irritation. “What if we take the baby monitor and go upstairs?”

  “And leave him alone?”

  “We’ll only be gone for thirty minutes.” He lowered his hands and shrugged. “Okay, maybe five minutes. It’s been six weeks. I’m sure my stamina is pretty low right now.”

  “I don’t know…that doesn’t sound very responsible.”

  “How is it any different than when we put him in his crib so he can sleep?”

  “Because he’s not asleep. He knows when we’re in the room or not.”

  Ward leaned over the table and looked down into the playpen. “I love you, son. But you’re really ruining my life right now.”

  I hit him playfully. “Don’t say that. Even if you’re joking.”

  He turned back to me, desperation in his eyes. “Darling, it’s been six weeks. I’m so happy that I come home to you two every single day, but damn, I want to make love to you. Now. Not in six hours when he goes to sleep.”

  “I do too,” I whispered. “But there’s nothing we can do.”

  “Let’s have someone watch him,” he said.

  “So, we can have sex? That’s awkward.”

  “We don’t have to say that,” he said. “Let’s just tell them we need a date night or something.”

  “On such short notice?” I asked. “I don’t know how comfortable I feel doing that.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. “Let’s just go upstairs and take the baby monitor with us. We’ll leave the TV on so he’ll have something to listen to.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “Darling, it’s just this one time.” He pleaded with his eyes. “I’m going crazy over here.”

  I was eager too. And I didn’t need him to tell me he felt the same way. “Okay.”

  He fist-pumped the air. “Let’s go.” He grabbed the second baby monitor then squeezed one of Ward’s feet. “We’ll be right back, champ.”

  Ward Jr. stared at him with wide eyes.

  “Come on.” Ward grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs. He practically carried me because he was so eager. Once we entered the bedroom, he shut the door then threw himself at me. His hands were in my hair and he kissed me like he’d been a sailor on leave for three months.

  Then Ward Jr. started crying.

  Ward kissed me for a few more seconds before he growled.

  “I told you.” I rubbed his shoulders. “We’ll just have to wait until he’s asleep.”

  He looked at his watch and sighed. “I can’t wait that long.”

  “I don’t know what to say…”

  “Cayson. He’ll watch him.”

  “No,” I said immediately. “I’m not calling my brother so I can get laid. Besides, he’s still on his honeymoon.”

  “What about Conrad?”

  “That’s still weird,” I said.

  He rubbed his chin while he thought for a moment. “Slade and Trinity.” He clapped his hands in victory. “They’ll totally understand and won’t judge us for it. And you aren’t related to either one of them so it’s not weird.”

  “Slade is Cayson’s best friend…”

  “So?” Ward said. “I doubt Slade will tell him why he babysat. He’s not stupid.”

  I really didn’t want to ask anyone to babysit. I was so attached to my son and I didn’t like not being around him. But I also really wanted alone time with Ward. I wanted to enjoy him for hours without interruption. The fact I considered the idea told me how desperate I was. “Okay.”

  “Yeah?” He clapped his hands in excitement. “Call them.”

  I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I pulled out my phone and called Trinity. It rang a few times before she answered.

  “Hey, girl,” she said. “How’s being a mom?”

  “Good…for the most part.”

  She laughed. “Won’t stop crying, huh?”

  “No, that’s not it.”

  “Then what’s up?” she asked.

  “You can totally say no if you want but…do you think you could watch Ward Jr. for a few hours? Ward and I want some alone time for date night. We haven’t really seen each other much.”

  “Don’t you see him every day?” she asked.

  “Well, yeah. But our son is usually our center of attention…”

  Trinity paused for a while. Then she spoke with a smile in her voice. “Oh…I get it now. We totally got you covered.”

  My cheeks reddened. “You’re a life savor.”

  “Hey, return the favor when Slade and I have ours.”

  “Done.”

  ***

  “Here’s his bag. It has everything he needs including diapers and toys.” I handed it to Slade.

  He took it then stared at the design. It was elephants in diapers.

  Then I moved the stroller to Trinity. “He just had dinner so he shouldn’t give you any trouble.”

  Trinity leaned over and peered inside the stroller. “Awe, he’s so adorable.” She rubbed his belly gently and got him to giggle.

  Slade stared at him like he didn’t know what Ward Jr. was. “How long do we have to watch this thing?”

  “He’s not a thing,” Trinity hissed.

  “Just a few hours,” I said. “We really appreciate it.”

  ‘When’s the soonest we can drop him off?” Slade asked.

  Trinity rolled her eyes. “Ignore him. He’s afraid of children.”

  “I’m not afraid of them,” Slade argued. “I just have other things to do.”

  Trinity ignored him. “We’ll be back in three hours. You guys have fun.” She turned the stroller around and headed to the sidewalk.

  Slade walked beside her, constantly shifting the bag on his shoulder because he didn’t know how to carry it.

  “Thanks again.” Ward waved before he shut the door. “Finally, some alone time for Mommy and Daddy.” He immediately scooped me into his arms then carried me up the stairs to our bedroom.

  My arms circled his neck and I kicked my feet slightly. It was amusing to see how enthused Ward was.

  After he laid me on the bed, he kissed me as he undressed me. He moved quickly, peeling articles of clothing off my body like they might burn me if he didn’t get them off in time.

  My body wasn’t the same as it used to be. Naturally, the baby weight fell off me until I returned to my former size. But there were slight stretch marks across the skin of my stomach. And I feared everything down below wouldn’t be the same. Now that I had a baby, would I no longer be tight? Would I be loose because of childbirth? Would Ward not want me the same way he used to?

  Ward yanked his clothes off with the same speed. His chest was chiseled and defined like before. In fact, he looked even fitter. Perhaps he’d been exercising to release his sexual frustration. At least that worked in my favor. His abs were tight with muscle, and his thin hips looked kissable.

  He placed my head on the pillow before his mouth moved down and tasted me everywhere. He seemed most interested in my tits. They were a little sore from breast-feeding Ward Jr. but Ward was gentle in his embraces. My breasts had grown another cup size, and Ward clearly like the change.

  He palmed one then sucked the nipple. He did it a little hard, like he was trying to pull something out of me. Then he leaned up and looked down at me. “Taste like cantaloupe juice.”

  “You drank my breast milk?”

  “Yep.” His eyes smoldered. Then he moved down my stomach and kissed the skin, moving to my hips then my inner thighs. When he found the area between my legs, he was more gentle than usual. His tongue didn’t apply much pressure, and he softly explored the area with his mouth.

  I didn’t know why Ward was bothering with so much foreplay. I was more than ready.

  He moved back over me and positioned himself. He gave me a long kiss and sucked my bottom lip. “Let me know if I hurt you.” His hands moved my legs back as his tip found my entrance.

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll go slow.” He looked into my eyes with a heated expression. Then he slowly slid inside me. I expected to feel nothing, like he wasn’t inside me at all. If I could push a living person out of my body, then that meant I could stretch really wide. What if my body never constricted back to normal?

  But I did feel him. Pressure pushed against my walls, and I felt full, like he was taking up every single space possible. He felt amazing inside me, better than ever before.

  “Are you doing okay?” he whispered. Judging the shakiness of his voice, he was enjoying this even if I wasn’t.

  “Yeah. It feels good.” I grabbed his ass and pulled him further into me.

  He moaned as he inserted himself entirely within me. He didn’t move for a moment, just hovered over me. Then he fisted a handful of hair and kissed me hard on the mouth. He didn’t rock his hips or change position.

  I gripped his shoulders then rocked into him from below, sheathing him slowly.

  He growled into my mouth. “Darling…”

 

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