“Does Lexie know?”

  “No, I’m not going to tell her.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “It’ll make Lexie paranoid. The last thing I want her to think is I might actually want to sleep with her sister. She has a lot of insecurities about it.”

  “But wouldn’t it be worse if she went through your phone and saw her number in it?” Theo asked.

  “Lexie isn’t like that. She doesn’t snoop through my things when I’m not looking.”

  He shrugged before he took a drink. “You never know.”

  “If she would do that, she probably already has. Then she’s seen that I have nothing to hide. I don’t have girls sending me naked pics…anymore.”

  He chuckled. “Anymore?”

  I rolled my eyes. “You know how they are.”

  “I’ve been in a relationship for so long that I forgot…” His voice dropped in tone and became solemn. He stared at his beer for a moment, paying attention to the label. Then he returned his eyes to the screen.

  I felt bad for the poor guy. “It’ll get easier.”

  He rested his head on the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. “Sometimes I think about getting her back and trying to make it work…”

  “You just miss her. That’s normal.”

  “But maybe we didn’t try hard enough. Maybe we should give it another go.”

  “I went through the same thing when Beatrice and I broke up. Sometimes I thought I should try to get her back. But then I realized it just wasn’t working. She and I would repeat the same mistakes over and over. Trust me, if it didn’t work the first time it won’t work the second time.”

  He peeled the label off the bottle.

  “Just let it go.”

  “But I liked being in a relationship. It was nice, you know?”

  I nodded. “I do know.” Having the trust and intimacy with Lexie was nice. It was more than just sex. We had a friendship that we could rely on. She made me laugh after a bad day. She made the whole world a brighter place. “You’ll find that again with someone—but it’ll be better the next time around.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “You broke up for a reason.”

  “I know,” he said. “But sometimes I forget what that reason is.” He stared out my window, his thoughts hidden from me.

  “Sometimes people fall out of love. It’s not uncommon.”

  “Then can’t we fall back in love?” he asked.

  “If that love died to begin with, why would you want it back?”

  “Because what we had was amazing,” he said. “You wouldn’t understand…”

  But I did understand. “Don’t run back to her just yet. Give it some time.”

  “Maybe I’ve had enough time to really think about it. Maybe she is the one but I didn’t put in the effort I should have. Work came first and I lost my priorities.”

  It was stupid to tell him what to do. I could give him the greatest advice in the world and it wouldn’t change anything. “Do whatever you think is best. But I honestly think you shouldn’t dwell on the past and just let it go. If she were the one, you wouldn’t have let her go in the first place.”

  He considered my words for a long time, pressing his lips tightly together as he remained in thought. “When you were with Beatrice, it seemed like she was the one.”

  “I thought that—at the time.”

  “And what changed?”

  That was a loaded question. “Beatrice had a lot of problems that she couldn’t get passed. I tried to work with her on it but it never changed anything. It seemed to be only after she lost me did she realize her mistake.”

  “And why didn’t you take her back then?”

  “Because we hadn’t spoken in three months,” I said. “I thought we were done so I moved on. I just didn’t feel the same way anymore. If she’d realized how she felt after a month, I would have taken her back. If she realized it even two months afterward, I would have been with her again. But three months…it really took her that long to realize how good I was to her?” I tried not to think about this topic because it got me worked up all over again. “Too much had changed. Too much time had passed.”

  Theo watched me with guarded eyes.

  “Every relationship is different,” I said. “So, you shouldn’t compare them.”

  “And do you think Lexie is the one?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know how to answer that.”

  “It’s a pretty simple question.”

  “Well, the answer isn’t as simple,” I said. “I do know what I have with Lexie is much different than what I had with Beatrice. We are a lot more playful together. We were friends before we were anything serious. We had a no-strings attached relationship before I…fell for her. It’s just different.”

  “In a good way?”

  Comparing Beatrice and Lexie wasn’t the smartest idea. “When Beatrice left me, I was a mess for almost a year. You remember that.”

  He nodded in acknowledgement.

  “But when Lexie left me…it was like I died inside.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “We were just messing around at the time, but not having her in my life was the most agonizing thing in the world. I purposely kept her at a distance so I wouldn’t get hurt but…it happened anyway.”

  “So, Lexie does mean more to you?”

  There was no straight answer. “All I know is this; I can live without Beatrice. I can’t live without Lexie.”

  He nodded slowly. “That says a lot.”

  I took a drink and stared at my table. “If you can’t live without Alex then you know she’s the one. If you can…then let her go.”

  He held my gaze for a moment before he turned away. His gaze was glued to the TV but his thoughts seemed to be elsewhere—in a far away place.

  ***

  Lexie called a few hours later. I told her I was keeping Theo busy so she must be calling for a reason. “Hello?” I would normally call her baby but I was trying to keep the affection to a minimum.

  “How’s it going over there?”

  “Fine.” Not really.

  She knew what I really meant. “I made a pie. Can I drop it off?”

  “A pie?” I loved her pie, no pun intended. “What kind is it?”

  “Blueberry.”

  I loved her blueberry pie.

  “Who is that?” Theo asked.

  “Lexie.” I would have referred to her in a much different way if he were feeling better.

  “She can come over,” he said. “You don’t have to pretend she doesn’t exist just because of me.”

  Lexie listened to our conversation over the phone.

  “Well, she did a make a pie,” I said. “And she makes amazing pie.”

  Theo shrugged. “I could do for a piece.”

  I spoke into the receiver. “We want the pie.”

  She chuckled. “Okay. I’ll be there soon.”

  “Bye.” I waited for her to hang up first.

  “Seen you soon.” The line went did.

  ***

  An hour later, a freshly baked pie was at my door.

  “Wow, you smell good,” I said when I answered the door.

  “I would say thank you and it’s Chanel,” she said with a smile. “But I know you’re referring to the pie.”

  “Sorry,” I said with a guilty look. When I saw her wear a cute sundress like that I wanted to pull her into my arms and give her a big kiss. But when Theo was depressed like this, it would make me look like an ass. I kept my hands to myself and stayed at least a foot away from her.

  Lexie wasn’t hurt because she knew exactly why I was behaving that way. She entered the apartment with the dish in hand. “Hey, Theo.”

  “Hey, Lexie.” He turned to her and gave her a small and forced smile. “I’m excited to try this pie. Conrad says it’s the best he’s ever had.”

  “It better be.” She shot me a playful look.

  I winked at her.

  She put the slices on plates with forks then handed them out. “I just took it out of the oven not too long ago, so try it while it’s fresh.”

  Theo grabbed his plate and took a bite. He chewed slowly, like he was trying to understand what he was exactly eating. His eyes were glued to his plate before he swallowed. Then he looked at me. “Wow, this is awesome.”

  “Told you,” I said. I already finished mine so I left the plate on the kitchen counter.

  “She’s going to make you fat, Conrad,” Theo said. “If she bakes pie like this.”

  “Well, at least I’ll be happy.” I nudged her in the side. “You did a great job. Thank you.”

  “You’re more than welcome,” she said as she covered the pie again and placed it in the refrigerator. Then she turned back to us. “So…I have a girlfriend that wants to go out tomorrow night. How about the four of us hit the town?”

  It suddenly became extremely tense. No words were spoken but I could feel the weight of Theo’s hesitance on my shoulders.

  Theo put his hands in his pocketd=s then cleared his throat. “I’ll pass.” He headed back to the couch and sat down. Like nothing happened, he watched the TV and ignored us.

  A frown stretched across her face. “I’m sorry…”

  “It’s not your fault,” I said. “He’s just not ready.”

  “Would it help if I said she’s really cute?”

  “Probably not,” I said. “And she’s probably a troll in comparison to you.”

  She swatted my arm but there was a pleased smile on her face.

  “He just needs more time. He’s in that stage where he thinks he might want his ex back. I’ve been encouraging to move on and not look back.”

  “Break ups are hard.”

  “I know.” I watched my friend sit on the couch alone, his broken heart hanging on his sleeve.

  ***

  After Theo left after midnight, it was just Lexie and I. She stayed over because I asked her to. If she didn’t, I would have just gone to her apartment as soon as Theo left. I couldn’t sleep without her. It was like trying to breathe without air or swim without water.

  “Is there something we can do to help him?” she asked.

  “No. I hate to say it but he’s on his own this time.”

  She nodded her head in a sad way.

  “I try to keep him company so his thoughts don’t suffocate him. But there’s only so much I can do.”

  “Maybe he should go out with my friend. He doesn’t have to marry her but it might make him realize there are other women out there.”

  “No,” I said. “I don’t want to push him if he doesn’t want to be pushed.”

  She dropped the subject. “Okay.”

  I turned off all the lights and the TV. “Ready for bed?”

  “Yeah, I think so. Baking can be exhausting.”

  “I bet.” I playfully smacked her ass as I headed to the bedroom. She hadn’t brought up her family since she brought me along to meet them. Since it was such a disasters I assumed she didn’t want to talk about it again. I didn’t blame her. Her sister really was a nightmare.

  If I walked in on Lexie and one of my friends, the closest thing I had to a sibling, I would be devastated. My whole world would be shattered if I saw Theo thrusting himself inside her. It would be scarring. I’d be disturbed for the rest of my life.

  She and I changed and got ready for bed. We usually made love every night before we went to sleep, but that wasn’t on my mind tonight. When I got into bed beside her, I pulled her close to me and wrapped her leg over my thigh. “Tell me about your day.”

  “You want to hear about my day?” Her hand moved up my chest seductively.

  “I want to hear everything about your day.”

  “Really?”

  I grabbed her hand and steadied it. “Really.”

  “You usually want to get down to business as soon as we’re in bed.”

  “Well, of course. Look at you.” My fingers massaged hers. “But I haven’t had a chance to talk to you lately. Theo has been taking up most of my time.”

  “You’re a good friend.”

  “I’m always loyal to the people who deserve it,” I said. “Now tell me about your day.”

  She pressed her lips together while she thought. “Well, I did some laundry and cleaned my kitchen.”

  “Juicy.”

  She rolled her eyes and kept going. “I watched some TV.”

  “What did you watch?”

  “Full House.”

  “A classic,” I said. “I like it.”

  “And then I made a pie. My apartment smells so nice now.”

  “You should have your own baking show.”

  She chuckled. “Baking With Lexie. I like it.”

  “And you could wear slutty lingerie under your apron…I like it.”

  She rolled her eyes. “So much for staying classy.”

  “Being classy isn’t going to get you high ratings.”

  “Well, dignity and respect and more important to me than ratings.”

  I shook my head. “You got your priorities wrong.”

  “Why don’t you have a cooking show?” she asked. “And you can wear an apron with nothing underneath.”

  “Sure,” I said. “I don’t have any dignity or respect.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  “What else did you do?” I asked as I rested my face next to hers.

  “Nothing interesting. I went to the grocery store and paid some bills.”

  “And work was good?”

  “It was the same,” she said.

  “Any interesting clients?”

  “No, not really. I’m not supposed to talk about that anyway.”

  I stared at her pretty green eyes and felt myself fall deeper into her. “Can I ask you something?”

  She turned serious. “You can ask me anything.”

  I formed the sentence in my head and tried to word it right. “For a professional point of view, do you think our relationship is good? Ideal? Do I treat you right?”

  Her eyes moved back and forth between mine. “Why do you ask?”

  “Just curious.”

  “I don’t usually analyze my own relationships.”

  “Well, do it now.”

  “Why?” She raised an eyebrow.

  “I want to make sure you’re happy and getting everything you want.” I tucked her hair behind her ear. “I never want you to leave so I need to make sure I’m giving you a million reasons to stay.”

  Her lips relaxed like she was moved. Then her eyes noticeably softened. “I’m very happy, Conrad. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes,” she said firmly. “You make me feel loved every single day. I feel sexy even on the days I feel bloated. I feel pretty even when I don’t wear make up. I feel like my voice is heard. And I feel respected and adored.”

  “There’s nothing you want to change?”

  “No,” she said quietly.

  “Good.” I gave her a gentle kiss on the lips before I rested my face on the pillow beside her. “If there is something you want to change down the road, just tell me. I’ll give you anything you ask for without a fuss.”

  “I doubt I’ll ever make such a request.”

  I turned off my lamp on my nightstand then snuggled close to her again.

  “Con?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Aren’t we going to have sex?”

  It was out of the ordinary that we weren’t. “No. I just want to hold you and sleep with you.”

  “Why?”

  I wasn’t sure how to explain it. “The basis of our relationship was sex. But that isn’t how it is anymore. I want you to know there’s a lot more to what we have. And just going to sleep with you is more than enough.”

  Chapter Four

  Theo

  Our relationship flashed through my mind. I analyzed everything, from the beginning our relationship, to the middle, and to the end. Even though we worked together, there was an obvious disconnection between us. Sometimes we taught classes at opposite times of the day so we never saw each other. Perhaps that was where the strain came from.

  Opening a business wasn’t easy. Even though the money had been given to me through family, I still had to pay it back. Paying employees, insurance, and keeping the lights on were always a priority. It wasn’t until a full year that I started to make any money.

  I guess everything consumed me, even drained me. There was nothing left when I came home to Alex. But honestly, she didn’t have much to offer either. She was always tired and quiet. The sex became somewhat repetitive. When I tried to get her in the mood, it was like getting a handicapped person to walk.

  But the bad didn’t outweigh the good. Alex and I had a lot of good times. We used to go to Taco Bell in the middle of the night after we made love and talk about our lives. I knew she had a difficult past, and she opened up to me about it.

  I wanted that again—the beginning of the relationship. It was promising and full of hope. She was my best friend and I looked forward to the moment we would be reunited.

  What happened?

  The idea of dating or sleeping with someone new didn’t sit well with me. All I felt was guilt and tension. It didn’t feel right. Even though Alex and I weren’t together anymore and had been broken up for two weeks, I still felt committed to her. How could I put myself out there again so soon? Any girl I picked up would just be a rebound.

  And I would feel like a dick.

  The more I thought about it, the more I realized my mistake. There was nothing wrong with Alex and I. We just drifted apart. But that love was still there. We could return it to what it once was if we just tried. This time we wouldn’t let work get in the way. I would cut back my hours and hire more help if necessary. If the shop were going to ruin my life, I would close it down altogether.

  Conrad dissuaded me from going back to her. He said the relationship ended for a reason and I needed to let it go. Not all relationships would end in marriage. Alex was my first girlfriend and I shouldn’t feel bad if it didn’t work out.

  But I wanted to make it work.

  I grabbed my keys and walked out of my apartment. Unsure how she would respond or what she would say, I got into my truck and headed to Cambridge.

  ***

  She gave me her address before she left but I never thought I would actually visit her. It didn’t seem smart to visit her so soon after our break up, as friends anyway. But now I was there under different circumstances.

 

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