Beware of Chicken, page 21
One of the other cultivators split off, bleeding from a cut on his head, while another of their number fell, struck down by the rooster.
He moved into the first Step of the Whirling Demon Sword.
[Whirling Dance of Blood]
Bloody red energy collected around his blade, and his heart squeezed painfully in his chest as he forced out the incomplete technique. He had not yet learned enough of it, but it would be sufficient, even this lowly version. The beast’s eyes widened.
What came forth was the mad dance of a demon; his sword flew into befuddling patterns as he struck with crazed abandon. Each blow chained into the next as he spun, leapt, and smashed. Each strike got closer and closer to ending the beast. He started laughing, red creeping into the edges of his vision. He embraced the power of the demon.
Orange fur drifted on the breeze. Tiny drops of red fell.
The cat landed and took a breath. Qi gathered around the little monster as he surged towards it.
[Claw Art: Fivefold Blades]
Blades of pure cutting force bit into the ground, extending as long as a sword. The cat’s form blurred as it raised a paw, then brought down the technique. His blade whirled skywards in defence.
One blade was blocked.
Then two.
The third he dodged by a hair’s breadth.
The fourth scraped along his ribs.
The fifth cut deep into his arm, but he was through the barrage of Qi, his sword thirsty for blood. He roared, barrelling down upon the tiny creature, a demon about to taste blood.
The cat’s other paw rose from beneath.
Five more blades struck true, biting up into his gut. One ruptured his liver. One punctured his kidney. One burst his stomach. One penetrated his lungs. The last one tore through his spine.
Blood erupted from his mouth. His sword stopped, inches from striking the beast. He fell.
↔
The cat nearly collapsed but caught itself, panting.
Her eyes turned to the true fight.
She could intervene and slay the pathetic thing that dared to threaten the Master whenever she felt like it.
Her limbs shook.
Whenever she felt like it.
↔
Bi De chastised himself. His recklessness had not been fully tempered. He had dared to preach to Sister Tigu when he was still so lacking. It was shameful.
This wretched thing’s words had driven him nearly to folly. It was bad enough that he was an interloper. He dared to threaten the Great Master’s disciples, friends, and woman—the Great Healing Sage!
He knew in his heart that the Great Master could slay all of the interlopers with but a glance and a flick of his fingers, but the words most foul had driven him to wrath. To threaten his benevolent Great Master with such atrocities? This man did not just court death; he embraced it wholeheartedly.
Bi De had charged into four of those wicked men and barely survived the first few moments. It was not their strength that was nearly his undoing.
It was their skill. It was no wonder Chow Ji had sought to corrupt his form into one that resembled this. Their bodies were optimized for fighting and wielding spurs made of iron. His enemy’s arrogance had prevented them from capitalizing on his mistake, however. They hadn’t used any of their Qi-empowered techniques.
He had trained greatly. His holy Lunar Blades were nearly completely refreshed, with only a few minor blemishes. And the timely intervention of his fellow disciples had given him the ability to fight only the leader. Tigu had slain her opponent, while the last one flailed, assaulted with Sister Ri Zu’s concoctions, Brother Chun Ke’s overpowering might, and Sister Pi Pa’s fearsome—beautiful maw.
His intent was now completely focused. This Sun Ken’s strikes were befuddling, a mad dance that he needed to use every inch of his ability to see through and comprehend. Sun Ken’s sword whispered and gibbered every time it got close to hitting Bi De. If he had started the fight with such a technique, Bi De surely would have fallen.
Holy silver clashed with demonic red as they leapt off the trees. It was a dance in the air, a clash of light and darkness. The man was spewing bile and vitriol, but Bi De had centered himself now. The words were as rain upon his back.
But he was tiring. Sun Ken’s blows were mighty, and his skill undeniable. Bi De would have to redouble his efforts. Small nicks accumulated on his form, and his spurs protested every time he directly clashed with the man. It only truly highlighted how far Bi De had to go.
He drove forwards, dodging a blow that would have decapitated him, and landed a kick to Sun Ken’s ribs. The strike made something crack, and the man was thrown up into the air.
[Rising of the Crescent Moon!]
Bi De rose to meet him as surely as the moon rose at dusk. The man’s iron spur intercepted the blow, demonic red clashing with holy silver.
Sun Ken roared with fury. His Qi thickened. His sword burned with unnatural light and screamed with wrath, the very metal seeming tortured, along with what sounded like a faint voice from within the blade itself.
[Whirling Demon Slash!]
Bi De’s eyes widened. The spur struck three times in quick succession, hammering into his legs and sending him falling back down to earth.
Sun Ken appeared an instant later, his spur screaming for blood. The maddening screeching voice coming from the blade begged its master to cut. Bi De’s wings flapped, and the wind howled, propelling him back out of the way.
Sun Ken glared around the silent clearing filled with corpses and started laughing.
“The great terror of the Azure Hills, Sun Ken the Whirling Demon Blade, defeated not by the Verdant Blade Sect, but by farm animals! How bad a joke this is!” The smile fell off the man’s face. “Come then. One last blow, First Disciple.”
Red surged around the man as he focused his intent.
Bi De panted. This was not working. The man gripped his blade with two hands, blood leaking out of his mouth. Madness and fury contorted his face into a demonic visage. His blade began to wail as the energy collected around it.
Bi De closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was nearly spent.
Above him, the clouds parted. The half-moon hung above their heads, shedding its light upon the world.
The half-moon. It had its own lessons. Like the Taijitu, it was half-dark and half-light, but the separation was perfect unlike that symbol. No light stained the dark, and no dark stained the light.
His feathers drank in the holy light, armouring his body in the purest argent.
Yet Sun Ken struck first.
[Spiraling Demonic Whirlwind!]
Red roared out, forming a ravening twister of destruction. Like demonic teeth, it consumed everything in its path.
Bi De charged to meet it, racing into the jaws of death. The red, ravening energy slammed into his chest, and he howled in pain, but it was nothing compared to the pain Chow Ji had inflicted upon him.
He drove through it as Sun Ken spat blood, the mist flowing out and into the red wave, burning his vital energy in his last attack. The luminescent feathers faltered.
His pure armour began to fail. Little red cracks formed. Like the fangs of a demon, the whirlwind bit deep, offering no mercy. It ripped into silvery flesh and tore it to pieces.
Bi De screamed.
The silver light guttered out.
↔
Sun Ken stood, panting. He couldn’t believe it. It was the strongest Spirit Beast he’d ever encountered. The strongest creature he had ever faced, which had nearly led him to death, was a chicken. Not a Blaze Bear, or a Wrecker Ball, or something from another province. A base rooster that could use Qi.
He opened his mouth to shout his victory, but no sound came out. Instead, blood poured down his chin splattering onto the ground.
“Sneaky little bastard,” he said, almost impressed.
A black, nearly invisible spur was embedded in his heart. Red bled into black as Bi De revealed himself, his blackened feathers fading back to their red tones. His body had been the night itself, the shrouded face of the moon.
A second rooster formed for an instant, made out of silvery light. Two roosters stood in front of him as he toppled, breathing his last breath.
[Split Faces of the Half Moon]
CHAPTER 29
THE GREAT MASTER
I woke up slowly, still in a good mood from last night. I had a couple of weights on my body and a damp spot on my chest. I opened my eyes and looked down.
I was missing my shirt, and I saw a shock of green-tinted hair. Meimei was still asleep, face down on my chest and drooling, with a contented smile on her face.
I chuckled and rubbed her bare back but then paused. Her shirt was missing too. I absently pulled Gou Ren’s leg off my throat where he had put it in his sleep. He was only wearing his loincloth and still snoring away. After that, I extracted my leg from Yun Ren’s grip, who was at least clothed.
I smiled at the memory of our increasing rowdiness that eventually led to … this. I’ll admit, I was just a little buzzed and not absolutely hammered like my friends had been after three bottles, but I went along for the ride anyway.
Including the part where I had a Xong brother on each shoulder, while Meimei sat on their shoulders, forming some kind of strange human … shape. Like a cheerleading performance—while Meimei double-fisted rice wine.
Drunk Meimei was hilarious. Her personality shifted completely as she turned into a dirty old man. She’d busted out a spectacularly vulgar drinking song about a brothel madam and a donkey, complete with pelvic thrusts. The Xong brothers had been in tears from her song, and I hadn’t been much better because she started getting handsy halfway through.
I drew the line at her demanding me to pour what was left of our booze down my chest so she could lick it off.
… Okay, I hadn’t drawn the line there. Don’t judge me. It was hot.
Ah, good times. My hands circled around Meimei’s back, and I lifted her up from our position on the floor.
Meimei was very light. I could hold her with one arm and not feel the weight. Gently, I carried her to my bed and put her under the covers. I gave her a kiss on the forehead, and she murmured happily.
I scratched my back.
The Xong brothers got some blankets and were transferred to bedrolls. To be fair, they were light to me too. There was no real effort involved in moving them, even when I was taking care not to wake them.
I stretched and left them to sleep for a while longer. If I had to guess the time, maybe five in the morning? I wish I could have slept a bit more too, but I was awake now, so I figured I might as well get some work done.
I looked around and frowned. I was a little surprised that none of the animals had come in last night, especially Tigger. Maybe we got a bit too wild?
I got dressed and headed out into the cold.
The farm is always silent this early in the morning, save for when Big D goes and sounds the alarm. There hasn’t been as much of that lately, though. Tigger and Big D had been taking care of things without waking me up, and maybe they’d finally depleted the vermin population around here.
But nobody was around.
I frowned, considering for a moment. I looked at the snow trails and began to follow one of Chunky’s. It meandered away from the house and across the river, into the “back left” of my property relative to the road. I followed it for a while, confused and concerned because the trail went way further out than they normally ventured. It looked like it went completely off my property.
I was about to break into a light jog when I saw them. Everybody was trotting back home, without a care in the world.
I breathed a sigh of relief and stopped my walk, just standing there with my arms crossed.
My animals noticed me and transformed from triumphant and proud-looking to suddenly looking like children who had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
Well, everybody except Chunky. He squealed happily at the sight of me and ran over, ramming into my legs and begging for scritches. I obliged him, scratching away. Peppa had something tied to her back. I couldn’t quite make out what the bundle was from the angle I was at.
“So, where have you guys been?” I questioned, and— “Wait, what happened to you, Tigger?!”
I walked forwards and scooped my cat up. She was covered in little scratches, and her fur had been shaved down in places. She preened into my touch, rubbing her head against me.
‘We have been slaying vermin, Great Master.’
I “heard” Rizzo say. Ugh, more Spirit Beasts? Well, as long as everybody is okay.
Big D stepped forwards and bowed, as did the rest of my animals. And then there was a clunking noise as a bunch of swords fell off Peppa’s back …
Okay, what the fuck kind of vermin carries swords.
I turned back to Rizzo, feeling a bit light-headed.
This … might be a difficult day.
→
It was a tale straight out of a story. Five brave disciples who’d fended off the wicked bandits. Each one of them puffed up when it was their turn to be the center of attention, save Big D, who just stood silently, as if it was natural that he had led an assault against a bandit encampment without warning me first.
My fist clenched at what Rizzo said the bandit had wanted to do to my farm.
I got worried when they described the techniques used.
And I didn’t know what to feel when they said they’d defeated the bandits and “cleaned up.”
I was very concerned. I was very, very, very concerned.
Okay, all my animals becoming Spirit Beasts? I could handle that, or so I thought. The ugly mutant rat who attacked the farm was maybe a one-off. Defending the farm from pests? understandable.
Fighting a battle against cultivators and winning?
Maybe it was my fault for being lazy and letting them do whatever. Giving them so much responsibility and not really telling them what should happen.
Yeah, I didn’t know how the fuck to deal with this. Honestly, I didn’t know how to feel about them killing the bandits. A part of me recoiled and screamed that all human life was sacred. That they should have been detained and offered a fair trial … even if a fair trial meant summary execution or living out the rest of their lives as slave labour in the mines.
Some part of me wished that I could have talked to them. Gotten them to see the error of their ways, like some kind of saviour, and then we all lived happily ever after. But the bandit’s words made it clear what he would have thought of that plan.
Another part felt visceral satisfaction at their deaths. They’d threatened to hurt Meiling and my friends. They’d threatened to tear down all I had built.
Trees strangled entire cities. The mountains rose up and vented their terrible wrath. The very earth rose up and went to war.
My fist clenched, as my Qi bubbled to the surface, unbidden.
Some part of me wished I had been there, right alongside my animals.
The last part was just annoyed. The fact that I had encountered the bastard in Verdant Hill, the super rat Spirit Beasts, and now this? Was the world trying to fuck with me?
I stared down at my animals, my face as impassive as I could make it. They waited for me to praise them.
They gazed at their trophies with pride.
How long will it be until they start going on more “adventures.”
They had no guidance. I’d left them alone and treated them like pets. Even when I knew they weren’t.
How long until they attract some cultivator’s attention? Cultivators who want to eat them and won’t take no for an answer. Cultivators who want what’s here.
All they wanted to do was make me proud. All they wanted to do was live here.
They’ll just keep causing problems.
They were offended on my behalf. On Meiling’s behalf. On the Xong brothers’ behalf. They went to war to defend us.
They’re going to ruin things. That peaceful life you want so much.
Great Master, they called me. They thought me brave and wise, strong beyond measure. The kindest thing they had ever met. I was the man who nurtured them, even when he didn’t have to.
Just end things. Try again with other animals, and this time, no Qi.
I took a breath and bent down, my hand landing on Big D’s head.
It’s simple, Meimei’s voice whispered. Wherever you feel that urge … don’t.
A small smile spread across my face as I started to scritch his wattles.
“Thank you, everyone. Good job protecting the farm.”
My animals preened, basking in my attention. I doled out scratches and praise, and they absorbed it like I was their own father.
Well, just think of it as training. They’re pretty childish. Hey, if you can raise a rooster, you can raise a kid.
Fuck what I just thought. I’m ashamed it even entered my mind. What the hell are you trying to get me to do, me?! There will be no more violence and hate here—no Xianxia bullshit. Life WOULD be good.
I would make it good.
My own little slice of paradise, right here.
For a brief instant, I felt warm, like I was being hugged. Something at the edge of my awareness twinged, like a rat squeaking in shock before being pounced on by a cat.
The feeling faded.
I picked up the swords. “Come on, let’s go get some breakfast,” I told them. The disciples perked up—everyone except for Peppa, who looked vaguely ill.
CHAPTER 30
SOMETHING WORTH RECOGNITION
Meiling awoke to what felt like Gou Ren jumping up and down on her head. She was queasy and sore, and she had no idea what she’d done last night.
This was why she never drank heavily—this and the fact that everybody always looked at her strangely afterwards. Nobody said why. They would just start laughing.
She opened her eyes, expecting stabbing pain … but her eyes didn’t protest too badly. In fact, most of her headache disappeared as she came to full wakefulness.
Along with the memories.
“The ol’ spry whore, and the donkey that came in her back doOOOoor!”
