His Contract, page 10
I stare at the books, a lot of them I’ve read, but it’s been a while, and reading them with him might be fun. I see a couple of bodice rippers as well. I arch an eyebrow and pull out one of them. I’m surprised to see it here. Wouldn’t it just be easier to stock a safe house with porn mags if that’s what they’re going for?
It looks like something from the seventies or something. The books my mother used to read and my father had no idea what they were about. I didn’t either until I picked one up to try it out. I suddenly saw my mother in a whole other light and quickly chewed through her collection without her ever knowing I had touched them in the first place.
“What’s that one? I don’t think I’ve ever read it.” Cason takes the book from me before I can stop him.
My embarrassment from before comes flooding back. Why didn’t I think before I picked it up? I knew what it was on sight. Thoughts of him reading it or any of the smutty ones with his deep voice sends a shiver down my spine and my clit begging for me to touch it. I don’t know how I’ve made it this long in front of him with how horny I feel. I’m so glad he can’t tell. If women got apparent erections like guys do, we’d be in so much trouble.
He raises a brow as he flips it over to find a woman barely clad in anything with her back pressed against a Fabio-looking man. It probably is Fabio with how old the pages look. He shrugs a shoulder. “I’m game to read about naughty pirates if you are.”
Fucking hell, he has no idea what he’s doing to me. He might as well take a stake and drive it through my heart right now. Because listening to him read something like this, as campy as it might seem at first, would be torture. Because purple prose or no purple prose sex is still sex and he of all people would be reading it aloud.
I don’t think my clit could take that. Especially since I know he doesn’t want me, and I would have no way to let that tension out.
He laughs and I glance over to him to find that he’s opened the book. “His sword stood at attention for the maiden in front of him―”
I pull the book from his hands and put it back on the shelf.
“Oh, c’mon that sounds hilarious.”
Now it’s my turn to change the subject and veer away from it. I head back to the kitchen. “There’s stuff for sandwiches, I’m sure it’s lunchtime somewhere, and I can take down one of the roasts for tonight. That will be nice. I can make a gravy with the drippings and flour.”
He follows me. “That sounds incredible. I can’t remember the last time I had a good roast.”
At least he isn’t pushing the matter. Maybe asking him to stay here with me for the next two weeks was a bad idea. It’s clear he doesn’t see me the way I want him to.
* * *
The day passes in a blur of us reading to each other, taking turns when our voices get tired. We read most of the Hobbit before we’re too tired to keep going. I haven’t slept since I woke up from my drug-induced sleep, and he couldn’t have slept well, if at all on that couch.
He yawns as he crouches to put the chain around my ankle. I hoped with me not trying to run all day he would leave it off, but it appears we still have some trust issues to work out. I get it, I guess.
But as he goes to wrap it around my ankle, I pull my leg back and he looks up at me.
Before he can protest, I cut him off. “If you sleep in here with me, you won’t have to chain me up. I’m sure you’re a light sleeper, you would know if I got up from the bed.”
He grimaces. “The couch isn’t that comfortable, but the floor sounds awful, Jo.”
I shake my head. “I’m not suggesting you sleep on the floor. The bed is big enough for the both of us, plus you would have the blanket and the washed comforter to keep you warm. We’ll keep to our sides, it will be fine. You don’t have to worry, I won’t touch you or anything, and I don’t kick in my sleep.”
Cason looks like he’s in a battle with himself. “I don’t know.”
I cock my head to the side. “Sleeping on that ratty couch sounds better than sleeping in a warm bed? Or you don’t want to sleep in a bed with me?” I can’t help the hurt tone that comes through my voice. I get it, he doesn’t like me, but would it be that bad to share a bed with me?
He reaches out for one of my hands, his large one dwarfing mine as he strokes the back with his thumb. “No, Joie, fuck no. That’s not what I meant. I’m―” He shakes his head and swallows hard. “I’ll sleep in the bed with you. It sounds a thousand times better than that couch. It’s just... I want you to push me away if I roll over and get too close to you. Okay? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
He’s confusing me. “Okay. I’ll do that if it will have you sleeping in here.” I can’t figure out if he’s scared I’m going to make a move on him, and that’s the last thing in the world he wants, or if he’s scared he’ll do something to me in his sleep. I don’t say anything as I get under the covers, glad to be chain-free. He turns off the light. With no street lights to shine in the place, it’s pitch black and so quiet. I didn’t realize it last night, with my thoughts going crazy, but it’s almost too quiet and creepy.
He hardly makes any sound as he moves around the bed and gets under the covers on the other side. His weight sinks it some and I stiffen. I don’t dare make a sound. I want him to be able to fall asleep next to me. I snuggle under the quilt and comforter, but I long to get close to him.
An owl hoots outside and I stiffen more, my gaze going in the direction of the window. I can’t make out anything, but I half expect glowing eyes to appear in the dark. Bears aren’t the only predators that roam these woods. I want to ask him to hold me, but I promised him we wouldn’t touch.
Taking a deep breath in, I clench my eyes shut. If I hold them closed for long enough eventually I’ll fall asleep.
“Joie.”
I know I told him to not call me that, but I really do love it. I lick my lips. “Yeah?”
“You’re safe, I promise I won’t touch you in any way.”
I don’t know if it’s the darkness and not being able to see anything outside; the moon has decided to disappear behind a cloud. But the courage I’ve been dying to have for days now suddenly rises through my throat. “What if I want you to? I’m scared of darkness like this and not being able to see anything. Could you please hold me, at least until I fall asleep?” It’s not much, but if he does it I will be the happiest woman to ever live.
I swear he tenses next to me. “That’s what you want?”
I nod and realize he can’t see me. “Yes. Please.”
After a long moment, the box spring squeaks as he rolls over. A strong arm finds my middle and pulls me to him until my back touches his chest and his chin is above my head. My eyes roll as I take in the feeling of finally getting something I’ve wanted since I was young. When my fantasies were still innocent, they would be like this. Him holding me while I sleep. In my twelve-year-old brain, there couldn’t be anything better than just spooning with the guy I had a crush on.
Now, it’s the second-best thing to what I want, and I’ll take it.
Chapter Thirteen
Cason
It’s been five days. Five days of bliss and torture. It’s getting so hard to control my wants and desires when I wake up with her in my arms. My automatic reaction is to wake her up with kisses or more. God, trying to keep the evidence of my morning wood from her has been a feat. The second I get out of bed she’s awake, but once I have a full hard-on from breathing her in all night, it’s near possible to make it die down without something to aid it.
I love falling asleep with her in my arms. It’s the best sleep I’ve had in a long time. She keeps the dreams at bay. It’s waking up next to her that’s torture. I usually wait for her to get up first and go to the bathroom. It gives me enough time to tuck myself in a way that will keep her from seeing it as she comes out and I go in, then I take care of it.
Every morning I’ve had to remind myself I have a promise to keep. That my father and her father would probably both kill me if I ever laid a hand on her or told her how I feel.
It’s been hard enough to come up with a story for Michail on why I haven’t found her or the man who took her yet when I’m supposed to be the best. It’s been nearly a week. My dad will be here soon to ask questions. She wants me to lie and say I almost have her won over, but that she’s still fighting me a little, but can I take another week of this and keep myself in line. I’m not so sure I can.
At the same time, I’m savoring every moment that I get to hold her. I know this won’t ever happen again once we have to leave this little bubble. Even if I could make it happen, we can’t stay here for the rest of our lives. I might be willing to hand the business over to Porter for her, but I can’t ask her to give up her bakery. That shop means the world to her and she loves putting smiles on people’s faces with sweet treats.
I stroke the skin over her arm with my thumb and watch the side of her face as she stirs from a dream. She stretches and nearly hits my erection with her ass. I have to close my eyes to keep from nutting then and there. Days of blue balls and quick unsatisfying releases have ruined me.
She glances back at me and smiles. “Good morning.”
I could get used to this so easily. Waking up to her every morning in my arms and looking happy would be the way I want to live my life.
At this point, she normally gets up to go use the toilet, but instead of getting out of the bed, she rolls over to face me. My heartbeat thunders in my ears. I’ve been in a ton of stressful situations but this by far takes all of them for first place. She moves her legs and I will my cock to die down so she doesn’t feel it.
Her leg brushes it. I hope she’s innocent enough to not realize what it is. Her eyes widen.
Fuck. She knows.
She stares at me for a second. I hold my breath, waiting for her to bolt from the bed and call me a pervert. That she’s ready to go back to her father, and she never wants to see me again. I’m supposed to be like a brother to her, not a horny bastard.
Her leg comes up again and she brushes against it, this time on purpose. I move to get out of the bed, I can’t take this. Her hand reaches out to grab hold of my shirt and keep me from getting up. I freeze, looking from it to her.
The hand moves from my chest to under the covers before her fingers brush over my cock through my sweats. I tense. “Joie, don’t.”
Her hand stills. “Do you actually want me to stop?”
My hips answer for me, bucking against her hand. I growl. “Fuck. No. But we can’t do this. We shouldn’t do this.”
She leans in close, her lips brush against my jaw over my beard that has started to fill in nicely. “Cason, I want you. I’ve always wanted you. Please, even if it’s just once.”
My head spins. I think I might be dreaming still, one of those lucid dreams. There’s no way this can be real. I’ve wanted to hear those words from her mouth for a year now.
Her hand moves up to the band of my sweats and pulls them and my underwear down until they are under my cock. Her fingers curl around my shaft and my hips buck.
“Josie, we can’t.”
Her hand pumps me slowly. “Who’s going to know? It’s the two of us here, alone. In the middle of the woods. We’ll be the only ones that know. I’m not going to tell my father if you don’t. It can be our secret.” She leans in and her warm lips brush against my jaw. “And if you’ll have me, maybe we can meet here in secret a few times a year. It’s not fully what I want, but it’s what I’ll take.”
I groan as her thumb finds the pearl of precome at the tip and swirls it around the head. I glance over at her. “What do you want?”
This can’t be real.
She kisses more of my neck, scraping her teeth along my jugular. I didn’t expect this kind of forward behavior from her, it has to be because she just woke up and doesn’t know what she’s doing. “I want to be your girlfriend, and if I’m honest, I want more than that. Being here with you the last couple of days has been like a dream I don’t want to wake up from. I know we’ll need to eventually but before that happens, I want to have sex with you.”
That’s it. I can’t take this, dream or not. This can’t happen. Our families made a promise. I’m the older one, I need to keep it for the both of us.
I get up from the bed, forcing her to let go of me. There’s only one way to make sure I don’t do anything.
“Cason, what are you doing? I’m sorry, I just thought it meant you might want me, too. I won’t touch you like that again.”
I pull my clothes up and stuff myself back in my pants and shake my head. “This isn’t your fault, Joie. Don’t blame yourself.”
I hurry from the bedroom before I’ll lose all resolve. I can’t give into wanting her, my father will disown me. Hers will kill me. The only way to stop anything from happening is to take me out of the equation. Going to the kitchen I reach into an alcove under the stove and pull out one of my guns.
“Cason, what are you doing?” I turn to face her with a gun in my hand. For once in my life, my hands shake with a gun in them. I’m scared. No, I’m terrified. I know hell awaits me, but I don’t see any other way out of this. I press the gun to my head and her eyes widen. She titters on her feet, unsure if she should move closer. “Cason, no!” Her eyes brim with tears as her chest heaves with panic. “Please. No. I’ll never touch you again. I swear on my life. Don’t do this.”
I swallow hard as tears also course down my cheeks. I don’t want this, but it needs to happen. It’s the only way to make everything right again. “I have to. If I don’t, I’ll forever fuck everything up for you. For our families. I don’t have the strength to stay away from you, Josie.” I cock the gun. “I love you.”
She rushes forward and puts her hands on my chest. She stares up at me with her big blue eyes. “If you’re going to kill yourself then you need to take me with you. Because I rather die than live one day without you, Cason Bancroft. I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve, hell, younger than that. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to hold me while we slept. To make love to me. To fuck my brains out while your hand is on my throat. I don’t give a flying fuck about a promise two dead men made before our grandparents were even born. If they don’t want us to be together, then let’s runaway. I can start a bakery anywhere and you still went to college for business, we could run one together. I don’t care what we do.” She stands on her toes and reaches for the gun. “As long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy.”
I stare down at her. I can’t traumatize her more. I un-cock the gun and turn on the safety before tossing it away from us. It clatters on the floor. My arms wrap around her. Holding her for a moment, I pick her up so she doesn’t have to strain on her toes, and crash my lips to hers.
She moans into my mouth as her hands go around my neck. My hands cradle her ass and I groan as my tongue parts her lips and delves hungrily into her mouth. After all this time, I finally get to taste her. Her legs hook around my waist, giving her more leverage to rub her core through her sweats and over my erection.
I’m so close to coming, but I’m not going to let a single drop of a climax spill before I rock her world with my tongue. I don’t want her first time to be a quickie. I need to know if she’s a virgin. I need to know how to handle this. She might want me to take her hard and rough, but if she’s never had a cock in her, then we’re going to need warm up for her to be able to take me in
I carry her back to the bedroom, never breaking our kiss; our tongues swirl, and she lets me take the lead. It takes all my willpower to part from her beautiful lips as I set her down on the bed gently. I kiss her forehead. “Baby, I need you to tell me something, and don’t lie, I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”
Her full lips look swollen as she sucks the bottom one between her lips. Her eyes have darkened to an almost ocean blue. “What is it? I’ll be honest. I promise.” She sits up a little as I stand between her legs.
I can’t help it, I reach down and cup her chin with my fingers, running my thumb over her lips. Her gaze never leaves mine as she takes my thumb between her lips and sucks. God, I can’t wait for the moment when I can see her pretty mouth around my cock. Everything in due time, if she sucks me right now, I’m going to blow my load down her throat. I’ve been hard for an hour already and I rather come with her velvet walls squeezing the life out of me.
“Are you a virgin?”
I’m certain her whole body turns pink in the morning sunlight. Her mouth lets go of my thumb and she takes in a deep breath before she nods. “Yes. Does that turn you off? I know some guys don’t like virgins. I know some stuff that I’ve seen in porn. I’m not entirely clueless.”
My cock twitches. Fucking hell, she’s untouched, just like I thought. “You haven’t done anything, no oral or anything else with a guy?”
She licks her lips. “I made out with a boy once when I was younger. I didn’t like it, I wanted him to be you. You kiss so much better.”
Fucking hell, she’s trying to make me blow my load before we even get anywhere. A rumble comes from deep in my chest as I lean over her, bracing my arms on the bed. I capture her lips in another deep kiss. I nip at her lower lip, pulling it with my teeth. She moans as her fingers go into my hair and to the back of my head.
I kiss my way along her jaw and down to her neck. I want to leave marks there, to let everyone know she’s mine, but I doubt she has something to cover them with and my dad will be here tomorrow with more food for us. If he saw those, and they look like fresh marks, he’ll know what we’ve been up to and I’ll be a dead man.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t leave marks where he can’t see them. A smirk pulls at my lips. She shivers as I scrape my teeth along her pulse.
