I've been so overcome with grief that I haven't felt an ounce of attraction towards anyone that I've met since Landon. It's bodes poorly for me that I'm feeling it in spades right now.

  "That's Will Darling," Trina says vehemently, but despite her tone, I can see the longing in her eyes. I look at her surprised. I've never heard Trina sound angry about anything.

  "Why are you so angry?" I ask, forcing myself not to look at the object in question.

  "I slept with him for a month. I thought it was getting serious, and then I found out that at least five other girls also thought they were getting serious with him."

  "So you broke up with him?" I ask, sensing there's more to the story.

  "No," she says in an ashamed, heartbroken voice. "I told him I didn't care and that I would stick it out until he knew what he wanted. He slept with me one more time, and then never called again."

  I tentatively pat her shoulder, trying to offer some comfort. I'm out of practice being a good friend. Looking around at the other girls, they either don't know Trina's story, or they don't care, judging by the way they are giggling and fluttering their eyelashes in this man's direction. I hope for Trina's sake that she never told them, and they aren't actually terrible friends.

  The girls' ministrations must work, because Will Darling chooses this moment to look over at our little group. Despite my disgust at the story Trina just told me, I feel the need to fan myself when I get a glimpse of his eyes. They're a dazzling blue color framed by rows of dark lashes so long that any girl would envy them. He has thick brown hair with glorious waves throughout it. Images of me sinking my fingers in his hair in the throes of passion has me holding on to the bar with one hand to steady myself. What in the world is happening to me?

  He peruses our group, a look of recognition in his eyes for some, a glint of lust for others. It's not until he gets to me that he stops. A cheshire cat grin flashes across his face, like he's the hunter and I'm the prey he has in his sights. His eyes hold me in a hypnotic spell while he studies my face and hair intently. One of his fellow soldiers says something to him, and he shifts his attention away, allowing me to finally breathe normally again.

  Relieved, I turn around to face the bar, gulping down my drink and asking for another. Trina's giving me a little bit of a side eye, obviously having seen my interlude with the cad.

  "Excuse me," comes an attractive voice behind me that puts every nerve in my body on high alert.

  I know exactly who is standing behind me, and I'm not sure I'm equipped to handle this.

  I turn around slowly and find myself having to look up. Will Darling is tall, so tall that I have to crane my neck to see his face. Once I catch sight of those eyes, I avert my gaze, letting them trail to his uniform. Before I know it, I find myself going lower until I'm staring at muscled thighs that are evident even through the dark tan slacks of his uniform. I intentionally avert my gaze from the bulge that lies just a bit higher.

  He clears his throat and I blink, before finding my way back up to his face. He flashes me a smile that momentarily blinds me. Bloody hell, James and Landon were beautiful men, but Will Darling...he's easily the most attractive man that I've ever seen in any of my lives.

  "Hello there, gorgeous," he says in a husky tone that sends shivers down my spine despite the corniness of the line.

  All I'm able to do is nod stiffly. I can feel Trina watching us raptly next to me. It reminds me that this man has the audacity to stand in front of me to assumedly try and pick me up, while I'm standing next to the girl he threw away like yesterday's trash.

  "I'm Will," he says, in the haughty, cocky tone of a man that is used to having women fall at his feet.

  "Alright?" I say to him, trying to give him my best "bugger off."

  His eyes widen a bit in surprise that I'm not immediately jumping on his invitation. Obviously, he missed me practically fainting when I first saw him.

  "What's your name?" he says, trying again.

  "Not interested," I reply, sipping my drink slowly. I hear Trina choke beside me, and the noise catches Will's attention. Although I'm gratified to see him briefly grimace when he sees Trina, the reaction all but solidifies that what Trina told me about him was true. For reasons I don't want to examine closely, I feel a pang of loss at that affirmation that he's not worth my time.

  When he opens his mouth to try once again, I've had enough. I hand him my drink and then walk away, setting my sights on one of the soldiers that I saw Will talking to.

  "Dance with me?" I ask in what I hope is a flirtatious way.

  The poor man chokes on his drink, not used to attention I suppose. He's handsome, in a California surfer way, but he pales in comparison to Will. He really needs to find a new friend group where his assets won't always be compared to the god among men that is Will Darling.

  A slow song comes on right as we get out on the dance floor. The soldier, whose name is John, pulls me awkwardly into his arms. As we dance, I get steered so that Will is in my immediate view. He's leaning against the bar, ignoring the hordes of girls (which unfortunately includes Trina as well) who are trying to get his attention. His brow is furrowed, and there's a challenging feeling in his gaze as he stares at me. The intensity of his stare causes a flush to spread all across my chest like a wildfire. I have to look away to center myself.

  I try to focus on whatever John is saying as we dance, but the fact that it feels like there's a line of electricity connecting myself to Will is a bit distracting. Those eyes, it's as if he's digging into my soul.

  I shake my head, trying to recover.

  "You're not having fun?" John asks worriedly.

  Perfect timing.

  "Sorry, something distracted me. I'm having a great time," I tell him, patting him on the shoulder like he's a well-meaning schoolboy. I cringe at the move, but John must not notice because his cheeks redden at the touch. Leave it to me to find the only person in the room that is nearly as out of practice at the art of flirting as I am.

  I regret taking my focus away from Will when a song comes on that I recognize as one that I once danced to with Landon. Without a good distraction, my mind is swept away to the many times I danced with him. What would we have done on our wedding anniversary? Would we have gone out for a fancy dinner and dancing? Or would we have stayed in, content to spend time with each other and the kids that we had created together? Would Clara have been there as well?

  It suddenly becomes too much, and I come to a halt even though the song isn't over yet.

  "Everything okay?" asks John worriedly, and I see how awkward he feels when he sees the tears that have gathered in my eyes.

  "Just a song that brings about a lot of painful memories," I whisper, smiling at him tremulously. "I need to take a small break," I tell him, stupidly patting him again before walking briskly to an exit.

  Once outside, I walk past a few couples ardently devouring each other's faces, until I get to the back of the dance hall where I can be completely alone. The sounds from inside trickle out. The song is still playing.

  I let myself sob. I let myself feel all the pain that I keep trapped inside of me. Not for the first time, I wish that I could join my lovers in their graves.

  I feel his presence before I see him.

  He doesn't say a word, just comes to stand next to me. I continue to cry, unable to stop their fall now that I've let myself go.

  After what seems like an hour, but is probably only a few minutes, I finally get control of my tears. I'm sure I look a mess when I look over at him.

  "Did you need something?" I ask shortly.

  The expression on his face is almost like he can't believe he's out here with me. I'm wondering the same thing myself. Why would he be out here with an emotional wreck when he could be having his way with the multitude of girls waiting for him to give them half a glance?

  "Do you need anything?" he asks quietly.

  The disdain that I'm trying to summon for this manwhore is hard to sustain when I hear the sincerity in his voice. I have to remind myself that Will Darling isn't the boy next door, he's the lion ready to slaughter me the lamb.

  "No, thank you," I answer softly.

  We stand there in silence once again.

  "You can go back inside," I tell him after the silence becomes too heavy.

  "I know what it feels like to miss somebody so much that you feel like you are going to die from the pain," he says, in a far-off voice. "It's not good to be alone when you're feeling like that."

  I'm surprised to hear the statement come from him, and I'm even more surprised to hear the agony that's bleeding from his voice.

  "Today would have been my wedding anniversary," I tell him numbly, feeling free to admit the source of my sorrow to someone who obviously has sorrow of his own.

  I can feel him looking at me, and in that moment, I feel like we are connected. The back exit of the dance hall opens up, and a raucous, excited group makes a drunken exit. It shatters whatever solidarity I feel with him, and I have the urge to flee.

  "Have a good night," I hastily call out, before beginning to walk back inside the dance hall.

  I take one last look back, and immediately regret it. Will is staring off into the distance as if he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. The moon illuminates his perfect face, casting a glow on features that are etched in grief. I hurry inside before my heart does anything I will regret.

  I find Trina still at the bar, chatting with another handsome soldier.

  "I'm going to head out," I tell her, tapping her on her shoulder to get her attention.

  "Did you see Will out there?" she immediately questions me, apparently not caring that I said I was leaving.

  For some reason I feel the urge to lie.

  "Didn't see him," I tell her, before giving her a quick hug. "Thanks for a fun night."

  She nods and smiles at me in return, but it seems fake. A part of me wishes that I had never accepted her invitation. She's seemed like a different person tonight, and I'm afraid things will be different between us at work. All because Will Darling had the nerve to talk to me.

  I sigh and make my way outside. As I walk back home, my mind can't help but wander to the image of him standing outside alone. There's more to Will Darling than first meets the eye, but I'm not going to find out what that "more" actually is.

  I'm restless for the entire night. As I fall asleep hours later, I can't help but feel guilty when I realize that the majority of my thoughts tonight were not centered on Landon, but were instead focused on a certain beautiful blue-eyed boy.

  I stay holed up in my apartment for the rest of the weekend, and feel resolved to recommit myself to my life of solitude once I emerge on Monday. Trina is noticeably more distant during our shift, but I don't worry about it.

  The hospital isn't very busy, and the work day drags on. Despite the fact that I have nothing to go home to, not even a cat, I'm so bored that I'm ready to leave work the minute my shift ends.

  I'm searching for something in my purse a few feet from the exit of the hospital, when I suddenly run into something hard.

  "Oomph," I say, dropping my purse from surprise. I almost follow my purse to the ground, until a strong arm wraps itself around my waist, steadying me. Whoever it is sighs and tightens his hold. It's only a moment, but I find myself soaking up the temporary closeness of this stranger. His fingers dig into my hip, and the hard edges of his chest and abdomen press into me.

  We both finally come to our senses because I'm released after a moment. When I look up and see who my assailant/savior is, I immediately flush all over. It's Will.

  Neither of us says a word. We get stuck, eye to eye as the seconds tick by and the air grows thick with a palpable energy.

  "Hi," he finally says, and I get lost for a moment in those magnificent eyes.

  Shaking my head to clear it, I bend down to pick up my purse. When I straighten back up, I feel more confident that I'm not going to throw myself at Will in a moment of weakness.

  "I was just going home," I tell him, beginning to walk in the direction of my apartment.

  "I was wondering if you would like to get dinner?" he asks, almost shyly.

  For the first time in so many years, I find myself wanting to say yes.

  "I'm sorry, I can't," I respond.

  "Do you have plans?" he asks, walking beside me, his long legs easily following mine.

  I fumble over an excuse, but it doesn't come naturally since like I noted before, I don't even have a cat I can claim I have to feed. Finally, I just spit out the truth.

  "You don't know me. You have no idea how complicated I am, how complicated my life is," I tell him firmly. "I will ruin you. And judging by the other night, that's not something you need in your life. Even if you are the playboy that all the girls say you are, you deserve more than me."

  He looks taken aback by my words, but I watch as the confusion in his eyes turns into something that resembles determination.

  "I'm not asking for forever here," he tells me lightly. "It's just dinner."

  Looking at him, I can tell he's not going to give up. "Fine. Pick me up in an hour," I tell him, rattling off my address.

  He flashes me a smile that makes my heart leap out of my chest, and then we part.

  By the time I make it home, I've come up with the perfect plan. I'll give Will Darling dinner, but I'll make it so unpleasant that it will end any desire he has to see me again.

  I pull out all the stops. I tease my hair so it's wild and unkempt. I change into a pair of men's trousers that I for some reason own, and I tuck an oversized stained shirt into them. I wipe my face void of any makeup, and then take a bite of an onion for good measure. Looking into the mirror, I feel utterly absurd.

  For a moment, I let myself remember what it felt like to wait for James or Landon to visit me. How I would primp and try to look perfect for them. If I was a normal girl, I'd be excitedly preparing for a date with the most handsome man that I had ever seen. But I'm not a normal girl.

  I take a sigh and wipe the ridiculous longing out of my mind. Like I tell myself every time the past tries to drown me, dwelling on old memories never does anyone any good.

  My buzzer rings, and I take one last look at myself while shaking my head. This is definitely a new low for me.

  I open the door, and my heart involuntarily constricts. I decide I need a new one. This heart is obviously defective. But really who can blame it with the view I'm currently looking at.

  Will had the exact opposite idea as me. While I tried to look my worst, he had evidently decided to look his best. It's the first time I've seen him out of his uniform, and I decide that it's unfair for the rest of the male population that he can look this beautiful. Dressed in a tweed sports coat and navy pants, the colors somehow make his piercing eyes even more incredible.

  I immediately want to hide as I remember what I currently look like.

  He looks me up and down for a moment before tipping his head back and laughing.

  "Really?" he says.

  His laugh is deep and genuine, warming me from the inside out. It rumbles through his chest like he didn't expect it or hadn't done it for a very long time.

  He recovers, and then holds out his arm gallantly. I look at him shocked. "You still want to go out?" I ask.

  "Of course," he says. "Nothing has changed from when I first asked you."

  I take his arm, mentally planning how I can make the date even worse.

  He takes me to a seafood restaurant, and I complain loudly to everyone in the vicinity that I hate seafood. Then, when he orders a nice wine, I drink directly from the bottle.

  "I backwashed," I tell him with a smirk.

  I smack my food, slurp my soup, burp loudly. Basically, anything that I've been taught is impolite in any company, let alone a date with a hot man.

  No matter the outrageousness of my behavior, he stays calm and collected, looking like everything I'm doing is completely normal. He chats pleasantly with me even though I say nothing in return. He ignores the tables around us that are watching me blatantly in shock. He eats his food hungrily pretending like I'm not using my hands to eat my seafood linguine dish.

  After two hours of throwing out everything I can think of to push him away, dinner is finally over. We make our way outside, and before I can call a cab to go home, Will suggests a walk by the pier.

  "You've got to be kidding me," I say exhaustedly. I'm completely out of any further ideas for how to be disgusting.

  "You don't like the ocean?" he asks with a smirk.

  He knows exactly what I'm thinking, and it makes me begin to wonder what his motive is. If he thinks that I'm the ultimate challenge, and this is all to get me in bed before he tosses me to the curb, he's got another thing coming. It makes me mad just thinking about it, and my plan immediately flip flops from wanting to push him away, to wanting to attract him. Maybe he deserves for someone to break his heart the way that he has broken so many others'.

  "I'll be right back," I tell him, running back into the restaurant. I head to the bathroom, ignoring all the patrons who are looking at me in disgust from my show at dinner.

  In the bathroom, I take a comb out of my purse, and I get to work on the rat's nest that I managed to create. When it's smooth, or at least as smooth as I can achieve with a comb and some water, I put a little powder and some lipstick on my face. I then rinse my mouth out, hoping that the onion smell has faded a little bit after dinner.

  Walking back out, I manage to elicit that same laugh out of him as before. It's so attractive that it elicits stares from everyone in the vicinity.

  "Shall we?" he asks, holding out his arm for me to take. I grab onto it, and we set off.

 

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