Falcon Falls Security Boxed Set: Books 1-3, page 88
“Well, this should be good.”
She faced him again, laying her head on the pillow. “One of those books Savanna gave me was about a sheriff. And I may have pictured you while reading it. And possibly while touching myself after reading.” Her sexy tone and the way she looked at him had his body waking again.
The idea of this woman fingering her clit while imagining them together even before he’d shown up to Tulum . . .
Damn.
A few seconds passed before his gaze returned to her belly button. “How long ago did you have this pierced?”
She touched her navel and smiled.
“There’s a story there, I take it?”
“Perhaps.” Her smile dissolved though. “You really want to know?”
“I do,” he was quick to answer. “Please.”
“And if it involves another guy?” Her nose wrinkled adorably.
“Go for it, sweetheart. I can handle it.”
“Keep in mind that you have a teenage daughter, so this story might strike a nerve.” She raised a palm in warning between them, and he playfully glared at her before reaching beneath the sheet to set a palm on her hip. Not satisfied with just that simple touch, he reached around and gripped her ass, drawing her body closer to him.
“Stop stalling and just rip off the Band-Aid already,” he told her while squeezing her firm ass cheek a bit harder. The memory of pounding her like an animal last night cut through his mind, and his morning wood was harder than hard.
“Okay.” She slid her tongue between her lips, clearly trying to distract him, the little temptress. “A week after my eighteenth birthday, my bodyguard’s son took my virginity.”
She bit into her lip as his hand slid between her legs, hidden still by the sheet. His finger played over the lips of her pussy, fighting the ridiculous urge to demand Mine. “And then what?” He lazily smoothed the pad of his thumb along the seam of her sex, and the sheet dropped a little from a heavy breath, exposing her tits.
“You’re distracting me,” she whispered. “You’ve been doing that since last night, but I needed it.” She moaned when he applied a little more pressure. “I really, really needed it.”
He had a feeling her need had more to do with the phone call from her ex than their “jaunt” in the jungle, but he didn’t want to think about that asshole. Or the fact he’d ever shared a bed with this beautiful woman and had been stupid enough to lose her.
My gain, he supposed, then internally winced. Her ex hurt her, and he’d rather Sydney have never been hurt, even if it meant last night wouldn’t have happened.
“So, continue,” he requested, his tone a bit deeper than normal. “Continue making me jealous.”
“Jealous? This story is from twenty years ago.” She planted her lip between her teeth and sucked her bottom lip when he cupped her sex with his palm.
“You’re in bed with me right now. Naked. Soaking wet.” He plunged two fingers inside her, and she arched her back, her nipples pebbling. “So, thoughts of any other man going near you, now, then, tomorrow . . . drives me a bit crazy. I can’t help it.” Or explain it. But he also didn’t seem to have a mute button to hide his feelings. To stop himself from oversharing. “So, continue.”
“I’ll try my best with you touching me like that.”
“The bodyguard’s son,” he prompted. “How old was he?”
“Twenty-two.” She paused and looked at him, waiting for a reaction.
His hand went still. “Your dad kill him? How well did he hide the body?”
“You’re funny.”
He cocked his head. “I’m serious.”
She rolled her eyes and playfully swatted his chest, but he captured her wrist with his free hand. “The point of this story is my belly button ring.”
“I have yet to hear a connection between this too-old-for-you guy and your belly button ring.” If his daughter had been in the same situation . . . no, he couldn’t wrap his head around that idea.
“Ah, is this the sheriff or the father talking?”
“No distinction at the moment.” He tipped his head, a request to continue.
“My dad walked in on us. He fired my bodyguard, and he gave me the silent treatment for a month. So, I rebelled. Got my belly button pierced to piss him off. To try and get him to talk to me.”
Silent treatment? Fired the guy’s dad? That was her father’s reaction to his daughter losing her virginity to her bodyguard’s son? Yeah, I’m nothing like him. “Did it work? Did he talk to you?”
“Eventually. The damn thing got infected and left a scar after I removed it.” She shrugged. “I guess I was always a bit of a rebel. But I still feel guilty I got someone fired because of my stupid need for my father’s attention.”
The downside of being rich, he supposed. Busier parents? Was that the issue? He’d always done his best to be present in McKenna’s life as much as possible, but he wished she had a mother there too. Sure, his mom and sister had stepped in, but no one could truly replace a mother’s love, could they?
Beckett moved his hand up to Sydney’s abdomen, feeling wrong about touching her after what she’d shared.
“How else were you rebellious? Jesse’s dad forced him to join the Army to quote, unquote, straighten him out. Was that the case with you?” Of course, back then, Beckett hadn’t known that Jesse’s dad, not Jesse, needed straightening out. That news had only recently been revealed.
Sydney smiled. “Ha. No. I joined the Army because my dad didn’t want me to.”
“Surprised he didn’t find a way to stop you.”
“Oh, he tried, but I was stubborn. Although, I did give in to his request that I attend West Point first.” She smoothed her hand over the dusting of hair on his pecs as if lost in thought. “And then I pissed him off by breaking a school rule the first semester.”
“Which was?”
She lifted her gaze to meet his eyes. “I dated Gray. He was a Firstie, a senior, and it’s forbidden for Firsties and freshmen to date.”
The news Sydney and Gray had not only dated but Gray had also proposed was still a hard pill for Beckett to swallow. But it went down a little easier knowing she turned him down.
“I don’t regret my act of rebellion in joining the Army because it turned out to be the best decision I ever made. I wouldn’t have Levi if I hadn’t, um . . .”
Hadn’t what? He wasn’t sure if she planned to finish her sentence, but based on the forlorn look in her eyes, he knew she was recalling painful memories this time.
“Anyways.” She shrugged as if relieving herself of an emotional burden that’d momentarily pressed down on her shoulders. “My father offered to fund a new weapons program for half the usual fee and got me honorably discharged after serving four years instead of the five I owed the Army after West Point. I was so pissed, but . . . money talks. And the next thing I knew, I was working for him. He won.”
He knew there was more to her story she was choosing to leave out, and those parts were hurting her now. Sensing she needed a hug but wouldn’t ask, he urged her to shift, and he pinned her back to his chest and held her.
He couldn’t help but calculate the difference between her age and her son’s, assuming that was the part she was choosing not to share right now—Levi’s father.
She’d said Levi wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for her serving in the military, so who was his dad? Had he been in the Army? What happened to him?
Sydney turned in his arms, and when she faced him, there were tears in her eyes. “All you did was ask me about my belly button scar, and somehow the conversation got so . . . deep.”
Her body tensed, and he smoothed his thumb along the contour of her cheek, catching a tear there.
“See.” She frowned. “My, um, book cover doesn’t match the inside. Not now, at least. I’m not as strong as everyone thinks.”
“You are strong. The strongest woman I’ve ever met. And I come from a family of tough women, so when I say that,” he said around a hard swallow, his voice cracking from unexpected emotion, “I mean it.”
“Most days, it’s an act,” she whispered.
“It’s not an act. It’s true.” He gently cupped her chin, demanding her attention. “Look at me.
“Who made you think you’re not strong? Was it him?” The idea her ex-husband had made this strong, beautiful woman feel inadequate and weak filled Beckett with rage.
Before she could answer, there was a knock at the door, followed by a voice he really didn’t want to hear. “It’s Gray. I’m looking for Sydney.” A pause. “Let me in.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Sydney froze. Why in the hell was Gray looking for her in Beckett’s bungalow? And why’d she feel like her dad was about to barge in and catch her with a guy in her bed, just like when she was eighteen?
“One second,” Beckett called out, scrambling to snatch his linen pants from where he must’ve tossed them before his first shower last night.
Sydney eyed her dress on the floor and decided it would take entirely too long to put on. She considered hiding in the outdoor shower, but that didn’t feel like the right thing to do.
Gray’s just a friend now. My team leader. It’ll be fine.
Beckett tossed her his linen shirt as if sensing her dilemma, then started for the bathroom while she fumbled with the buttons, knowing she was lying to herself and that things would, in fact, not be fine.
“Here,” Beckett mouthed, handing over the panties she’d discarded near the outdoor shower last night.
“She’s in there, isn’t she?” The strained tone of Gray’s voice had her heart sinking to the pit of her stomach.
“Am I opening up?” Beckett whispered as he spun toward her, wearing only his pants.
His attention swept over her body, stopping at her breasts. Sydney looked down to discover that the fabric was nearly sheer enough to display her nipples, and the bottom hem of his shirt covered barely enough to be decent.
She fastened the last buttons, then tightened her arms over her chest, hiding her breasts the best she could before nodding her okay.
Beckett swiped a palm over his face, then reached for the handle. “Yeah, Sydney’s in here,” he answered before opening up.
Gray’s gaze cut straight to the rumpled bedsheets before meeting her eyes with a deep frown, his lips pressed together in a hard slash. She wished what was shredding him right now was anger, but she knew him too well.
“What are you doing here?” She walked toward him, telling herself she had nothing to be ashamed of, keeping her head held high.
Gray remained still and silent, his eye twitching slightly after a few seconds. Then he faced Beckett, let go of a few quick, shallow breaths like he might throw down with him, and wordlessly turned and left.
Sydney shot Beckett an apologetic look, knowing he had to be uncomfortable as hell, and then chased after her team leader. “Gray, would you stop? Please.”
He was a few feet ahead of her, clutching his leg and walking slowly. Her heart plummeted at the sight he was hurting in more ways than one.
Why? Why do you still care about me like that?
Not too far from Beckett’s bungalow, she caught up and grabbed his arm.
“Damn it, Sydney,” he rasped, swinging around and pulling his arm free from her grasp. “For the love of God, just give me a second to process this.” He cupped his mouth, eyes focused on the ground.
“I’m sorry. I know Beckett is technically a client, and it’s an unspoken rule, but—”
“You think that’s what I’m upset about?” He placed his hands on his hips and squared his stance. “You and I broke the rules at West Point, didn’t we?”
God, she’d just shared that bit of truth with Beckett, and now here the man was in the flesh.
“I might be a hard-ass with everyone at Falcon,” Gray continued, his deep voice thick with emotion, “but when it comes to you, I’d never tell you what to do.”
“So, what are you upset about?” But staring into his eyes, seeing a world of hurt there, how could she not know the answer?
But she needed to hear it from him, to be absolutely sure she wasn’t putting words into his mouth. She’d hoped they could be friends again when she joined Falcon, but lovers? No. She wasn’t the person he fell in love with back in college. Not even close.
Gray hung his head, his bladed jaw tightening beneath his trimmed beard.
“Why are you even here?” she repeated.
“The whole team is here.” Looking up, he slid his eyes over her shirt, his disapproval loud and clear. “Carter and the others are in the main house now.”
“Why didn’t you give us a heads-up?” You wouldn’t have found me in his bedroom if you’d bothered to call first.
“Jesse reached out just after midnight. He’s leaving Mexico with Miguel Diego and Ivy today,” he shared. “There was no point in waking you up. We needed to come get you anyway. The pilot that brought Beckett here isn’t allowed to fly to where we’re going, so that’s why we’re picking you up.”
“Oh.” She processed the new information. “Where are we going?”
“Santiago, Chile.”
“That’s unexpected. I figured they’d stay in Mexico.”
“Yeah, well.” Gray raked his hands through his hair. “Get packed. We roll out in an hour.” He turned to take off, but she couldn’t leave things like this. It’d be awkward for everyone.
“Wait, I don’t want things to be—”
“Too late,” he hissed but quickly dropped his shoulders as if angry at himself for yelling. The man looked beaten. Deflated. Like he’d been kicked while already down.
And I did that to you.
“I don’t want to do this here, Syd. I can’t do this here.”
“Do what?” She wasn’t sure she could handle any more emotional hits after Seth’s marriage announcement. “Gray, we were together a long time ago.” She couldn’t beat around the bush, and she needed to clear the air. They’d all need to work together, keep things professional and focused.
Gray tipped his head to the side, studying her mouth as if remembering the way she’d tasted. “I’ve spent twenty years searching for someone I could love as much as I loved you. Twenty years wasted. Because there’s no replacing you. You get that, right? I’ve spent my life hoping our paths would cross again, and we’d get another chance.”
“Gray.” She reached out, her heart breaking for him, but he flinched and stepped back.
He tossed both hands in the air, a request to keep her distance. “Did you know about my accident when it happened?” Where was this coming from? Shit, just how much had this man kept bottled up inside?
“I knew, yes.” She thought back to the day she’d learned Gray’s helo had crashed, remembering the phone call from her friend in Military Intelligence who knew she and Gray had dated in college.
“There’s been an accident,” Michelle had told her. “Gray survived, but they had to amputate part of his leg.”
“I visited you,” Sydney confessed. “I stayed until I knew you were in the clear. I visited when your parents, sister, and friends weren’t in the room.”
He closed his eyes and lifted his chin toward the blue sky overhead, unobstructed by trees on the open walkway.
After a few painfully quiet seconds passed, he tossed out, “Your ex was a moron for cheating on you. The stupid son of a bitch threw you away. How could he not see who was right in front of him? Who he had?” Gray worked his eyes back to hers.
“Wait . . .” How do you know? Who told him about Seth’s cheating?
When Gray abruptly shifted his gaze over her shoulder, she turned to see Beckett disappearing into the bungalow. How much had he heard?
She spun back around as Gray dropped a string of curses under his breath. “I’m not supposed to know about Seth’s affair.”
“No, you’re not.” So how in the hell was it possible? It wasn’t like Gray was teeing off with her dad on Sundays, and her dad spilled the news. And Mya would never betray her.
“Seth,” he dropped the bomb on her. “I ran into him at the Pentagon when I was visiting my dad.”
Right, Gray’s father was the Secretary of Defense now. But still . . .
“Seth recognized me and stopped me in the hall,” he explained. “Apparently, he took it upon himself to do background checks on all the guys at Falcon when you joined the team.”
“And he told you we got divorced because he cheated?” How the hell did something like that come up in conversation?
“Honestly, he just kind of spilled it during the course of threatening me to stay away from you.”
“He threatened you?” This wasn’t the Seth she knew. Seth didn’t give a damn about her. He’d repeatedly said she wasn’t enough for him. That was his reason for cheating. And now he was marrying Alice, so why would he care who Sydney dated?
“He said to keep my hands off you.” He let go of a gruff breath. “I’m guessing you told him we dated at West Point.”
She must have mentioned it at some point, but it wasn’t recently. “I’m still just . . .” In shock.
“And before you ask, no, I didn’t hit him. I was at the Pentagon, and they frown upon that kind of behavior, especially from Admiral Chandler’s son.” He held his palms in the air. “But did I want to?” He leaned in a bit closer. “Hell yes, I did.”
Sydney did her best to swallow the news. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything,” he responded, his tone a touch defeated again. “Just pack. We leave for Santiago in an hour.” And this time, when he turned, she let him go.
She covered her eyes with her hand, willing away the tears. She thought she was all cried out after her call with Levi yesterday.
“Sydney.” Her hand fell at the sound of Mya’s voice, and she peered over to see Mya on her porch waiting for her.
Sydney chanced a look at Beckett’s bungalow, knowing they needed to talk, but where to begin? First, though, she needed a few minutes to pull herself together.
As soon as Mya shut the door behind them, she spun around and set her hands on Sydney’s shoulders. “I couldn’t help but overhear some of that. Are you okay? And are you wearing Beckett’s shirt? What happened?”
