Falcon Falls Security Boxed Set: Books 1-3, page 84
Sydney’s attention swerved toward Beckett to discover him scrutinizing her intently, but not in the same way he’d looked at her in the hotel room. No, that blaze of desire from earlier had been replaced with something else. Concern?
“Well.” The man slapped his palms together and rubbed them. “Can I get you anything else?”
“We’re all set.” Sydney thanked him and watched as he walked toward the main house, then quickly lifted her eyes toward a rustling sound in a nearby tree and swore she spotted a spider monkey spying on them. So much for the option to have a private shower. This little guy would creep on her for sure.
“I’ll set your stuff down in one of the bungalows.” Beckett tossed a look back at her. “Matter which one?”
“Any. Thank you.” She pivoted her gaze to Mya. “Give me a minute, and then we can talk?” She knew Mya was anxious to have the official, Are you okay? conversation after Seth’s call.
“Okay.” Mya retreated to her bungalow, and Oliver did the same, leaving Sydney out there alone and so deeply mired in her thoughts that she slammed into a wall of muscle as she entered the doorway of her bungalow.
“Shit, sorry.” Beckett grabbed her arm like she might lose her balance.
“No problem. Thanks for dropping off my bag.” Sydney managed a small smile that apparently did nothing to convince Beckett she was fine because he kept hold of her arm and tilted his head, studying her once again. She tensed when he took a small step closer, lifted his other hand, and skated the pad of his thumb across her cheek, wiping away a tear she hadn’t known was there.
“The wind,” she sputtered. “It must have made my eyes water.” I don’t cry. Not over Seth. Hell no.
Beckett’s brown eyes narrowed as he replied, “Of course,” before backing up to allow her inside the room.
She quickly wiped her fingers across her cheeks before turning to find him still standing in the doorway.
“My son didn’t take the divorce well.” The words fell from her lips before she could catch them. And now she’d have to add more to that sudden drop of information. “I’m worried how he’ll feel about his father remarrying. Seth’s not his biological father, but he raised him and so . . .” Why am I telling you this?
Beckett took one step forward.
Just the one.
But it was enough to send her back two.
“I guess I just gave you the bullet point version of my life. Minus a few major, um, bullets.” She gently set a hand across her throat, willing herself to shut up. Mya was right earlier when they were on the beach. It wasn’t like Sydney to ramble. Babble. Blabber. Whatever.
“Bullet points,” he said in almost a whisper as if those words meant something to him. He drew a hand across his mouth before gently stroking his jaw. “I’ll take any bullets you want to send my way.”
“Literally?” She arched a brow to break whatever spell she’d seemingly fallen under. Was the jungle enchanted? Because right now, an intimacy stretched between them that went beyond the physical. “Or just figuratively?”
“I would have taken a bullet for you in that jungle if need be, yes. Without hesitation.”
She was the one taking a step closer to him this time. “I wouldn’t have let you.” She erased the last bit of space between them, tempted to set a hand to his heart. To try and ease the burdens he was carrying because she knew how heavy hers were, and she could see the suffering burning in his eyes.
Well, something was burning there. Maybe it wasn’t just mental anguish?
She gathered in a small breath when his hands framed her body. “I’m going to hug you right now. Just giving you a heads-up so you don’t—”
“Hurt you?” She sent him a nervous smile, and he nodded. “And if I’m not the hugging type?” For a guy whose sister referred to him as Mr. Grump, he was throwing her off yet again.
“Then permission to hurt me when I go in, but I’m gonna do it anyway.” His resolute tone was surprisingly comforting.
“I guess a hug is better than a bullet,” she whispered, a bit unsure, but she let him do it anyway.
He gently pinned his chest to her body, and his hands traveled around to her back. “Thanks for not—”
“Kneeing you in the groin,” she cut him off again, unable to stop her mouth from running away like always in these situations. Because she really didn’t know how to do this. But she was trying. For whatever reason, she found herself wanting to try.
“Precisely.”
She took her cue from the tone of his voice and willed her body to relax, to let the stiffness melt away. It’d been so long since she’d allowed anyone to comfort her that she felt out of practice.
Had she ever let Seth just hold her like this?
She released the thought, not wanting to think about him right now.
So, she turned her cheek and closed her eyes, listening to the sound of Beckett’s strong, steady heartbeat.
He quietly held her there like that, one hand softly stroking up and down her back. Caressing and calming her for a few minutes.
“I clearly don’t do this,” she admitted without pulling away.
“Do what exactly? Hug?”
“Show weakness.” Her confession had him easing back, and he freed his arms from her body but then tipped her chin with a fist, guiding her eyes to meet his.
“I’d hardly call this weakness. But it’s not something I’m so great at doing myself, if I’m being honest.”
“Hugging or?” she whispered as he opened his fist and slid his palm along her cheek.
“Opening up.” He tilted his head, eyes focused on her mouth as if he wanted to kiss her.
And she doubted she’d resist. The pull between them was strong.
She didn’t have to decide whether to stop him or encourage him because Gray’s name suddenly popped up on her watch at the same time her phone began ringing, causing them both to freeze.
Did Gray have news?
She had no idea how she’d found herself caught up in this man’s arms, with her heart on her sleeve. That was way more Mya’s thing. It was for the best that Gray interrupted.
Beckett roped a hand around the back of his neck, his eyes still trained on her watch, and then she remembered that he’d answered Gray’s call on her cell earlier while she’d been in the shower. Ah, she hadn’t filled Beckett in on those particular bullet points from her life at West Point with Gray. And while there was nothing between them now, he was still protective, so no telling what Gray had said to Beckett.
She supposed it didn’t matter. There couldn’t be any more almost-moments between her and Beckett. For too many reasons to list.
“I should, um, take that,” she said before answering the call over her Apple watch.
“Hey, you at your new place?” Gray asked when the call connected.
“Yeah, we’re here.” She stole a quick look at Beckett, his jaw clenched as if he were struggling with the same thoughts she’d just had. The what did I almost do? kind.
“Are you alone right now?” The thinly veiled hint of reproach in Gray’s voice said it all.
“You hear from Jesse?” she deflected, hoping for a subject change for all their sakes.
The line was quiet for a moment before Gray shared, “Jesse made contact via our protocols. I won’t get into the details, but he’s safe.”
“Next steps?” she asked, checking Beckett’s reaction to the news and finding the obvious signs of relief in every square inch of his body.
“He said to hang tight. Working on a plan,” Gray responded. “But in the meantime, we’re running a few leads as to how Cora may possibly have a connection to this club Capone. Or why her sister was there in the first place.” At the mention of Cora, Beckett looked toward the door as though he might bolt. “But what I’d like to know is what in God’s name happened today?”
Sydney quickly explained the details involving Mya and her inside man at the cartel, and Gray quietly listened.
“She knows she can’t go rogue like that if she joins our team, right?” Of course, that’d be by-the-book Gray’s reaction.
“Obviously.”
“Okay, well, I’m glad you’re all safe. Good thing Oliver happened to be there to have your six,” Gray continued. “And Carter’s friend, Martín, too.” He paused for a moment, and Sydney didn’t fail to notice he’d purposely left out Beckett’s name. “Well, call me if anything changes.”
“Did you tell Ella?” Beckett asked, taking her by surprise, announcing his presence and that she was not alone.
Silence hung in the air for a moment before Gray said, “She was the first call we made. Your sister insisted on that during our last talk.” A pause before, “I, uh, have to go. Talk soon.” And then the call ended.
She didn’t need this attitude from her teammate. Please tell me you don’t still have feelings for me, Gray. Her focus landed on the only piece of furniture in the room, the bed with a simple black comforter on top. Most likely, the rooms were normally used for the guys on Martín’s team.
“I told you we didn’t need to worry about Jesse. He’ll be fine,” she finally managed while turning to face Beckett.
He nodded. “I’m sorry about Gray. I hope I haven’t caused any problems for you two by being here now, or well, the whole shower thing earlier.”
“There’s nothing between us,” she quickly explained.
That didn’t mean there could be anything between her and Beckett, but the man didn’t need extra guilt on his shoulders, thinking he’d almost kissed a taken woman. And they had almost kissed. She didn’t think she’d imagined that moment, even if she was hungry and a little dehydrated.
Beckett dragged his gaze to her face, but why in the hell did he not seem convinced by her answer? Ah, Cora. He had trust issues. And sadly, she could relate. “I’m going to take another shower,” she decided to let him know for whatever ridiculous reason. Like there isn’t enough tension with us? Sure, go ahead and tell him you’re getting naked again. Perfect.
But she really did need to get her head back on straight, and usually, a cold shower helped shock her system.
She had no clue if it’d be enough to help her forget the Seth and Alice news. Or the possibility that Gray may still have feelings for her.
But she most definitely had to stop whatever was going on with Beckett.
Her walls needed to go back up. She had to go back to defense mode.
Because she knew without a doubt that she’d never survive another broken heart, even if her asshole ex didn’t think she actually had one to begin with.
She did.
The problem right now . . . it sure as hell felt like it was beating for a stranger.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Mom, I asked him to wait until you were back to tell you.” Levi’s voice was brittle. Broken. And Sydney could kill Seth for doing this to him again.
She set her back to the wall alongside the bed, needing support while she summoned the right words. The last thing she wanted to do was lie to Levi, but she didn’t want him worrying about her. “How are you?” she asked instead. “You were at Grady’s when we talked this morning. What happened?”
Levi was quiet for a moment before murmuring, “I came home earlier than Dad expected.”
Oh, for the love of God, Seth. Did he catch you again? Her fingers curled into her palm at her side, and she took a slow, deep breath, fighting the desire to catch a plane and punch the man. “And that’s when they told you they’re getting married?”
More silence before a soft, “Yes. She had a ring on, and I noticed it.”
I don’t know what to say.
“I don’t want to live with them. She was . . . she was always Aunt Alice, and then she hurt you so bad, and I . . .”
“Levi,” she cried, tears gathering in her eyes, her voice breaking this time. “I wish I could fix this. You know I would if I could.”
“You can’t fix everything, Mom. I know you try, but some things just, well, they suck.” She heard him swear under his breath, and she had no intention of calling him on it. “This just sucks.” His voice nearly broke at that, and she knew he was fighting like hell to keep the tears at bay, to not show weakness.
Like me. “Hey,” she said while wiping at her cheek with her free hand, “we’re going to get through this. We’re Archers, right? We’re badasses.”
She heard the half-laugh through the phone. “You think I’m a badass too?”
“Hell yes.” She pushed away from the wall. “Stronger than me. So much stronger.” Her lip quivered as she resisted allowing more tears to flow. “We’ll get through this, okay? You and me. We’ve got this. It may feel like it’s us against the world sometimes, but I’d rather you in my corner than anyone else on the planet.” And shit, she was crying again, so she pulled the phone away from her face a bit to try and catch her breath.
Once she blinked away the rest of the tears, she brought the phone back to her ear as he said, “Mom?”
“Yeah, sweetie?” she whispered.
“You’re the only one I’d want in my corner too.” He was quiet before adding, “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you so much,” she cried.
“Promise me you won’t let this interfere with your job. I need you to come home safe.” Levi knew she was officially on work business in Mexico now. She’d promised her son that she’d never lie or sugarcoat things with her new job. When she’d revealed her trip was extended after Beckett and Oliver had first shown up that morning, she’d been honest with him. Well, as honest as she could without revealing too many details. He didn’t need to know about the cartel.
“I’ll promise as long as you promise to call me if you need me. No matter what.”
“Deal,” he answered. They exchanged a few more words before she ended the call as Mya knocked at her door.
Tossing her phone on the bed, she did her best to shake free her emotions before letting Mya in.
“First order of business, are you okay?” Mya cut straight to it. “And second, hot damn, woman, you look stunning.”
Sydney did what she did best—locked her emotions up in a steel cage and tried to change her mood to get through the night.
She swept her hands down her sides, turning this way and that like a showroom model, flaunting the gift that had been delivered to her room twenty minutes ago—a dress with instructions to wear it to dinner. She was exhausted and not in the mood to dress up, but she didn’t want to be rude and decline their host’s generosity.
And even though her mood was still off despite her best efforts to fake it, Sydney lightly laughed and complied when Mya twirled her finger, motioning for Sydney to spin.
The dress wasn’t anything she’d choose for herself, but it was beautiful. The dark blue skirt, decorated with panels of embroidered flowers, was set off by a bright orange sash around her waist, and embroidered flowers adorned the white off-the-shoulder peasant-style blouse. Sydney had let her light blonde hair air dry for a “beachy” look, and it fell in soft waves over her shoulders.
“Damn,” Mya repeated, her eyes bright.
“Back at ya.” Sydney smiled when Mya took her turn to spin, holding out the sides of her skirt. Their dresses were identical except for the color of the sash. Mya’s was red, the bold color fitting for her friend’s personality. Spirited. Sexy. Confident. Take charge.
Mya was able to win over everyone—from cartel thugs to New York suits—and in the process, had them confiding their deepest secrets, armed with only a defiant lift of her chin and a sharp gaze.
But she was also kind. Vulnerable. Sensitive. Willing to share her emotions, unlike Sydney.
They were both alike in some ways. And yet so, so different at the same time.
“Beckett’s going to lose his mind.” Mya’s words had Sydney playfully scowling.
“And Oliver?” Sydney teased. “Has he seen you in your dress?”
“Not yet. And he can pour on the flattery, but I refuse to forgive him for slapping a hand over my mouth and yanking me into that hole. Even if that was all your doing.” Mya’s smile had Sydney wanting to call bullshit on her supposed “animosity” for Oliver. “I still can’t believe this day happened. I mean, we went from relaxing on the beach to the bottom of a cenote to escape cartel shooters. And everything else since then.” Mya walked past her and sat on the bed.
Sydney lifted the skirt of her dress slightly before heading toward Mya.
“So, are you okay?” Mya repeated. “I swear, I could kill Alice. Well, not actually kill her like”—she made a fist and mimed stabbing a knife at her chest—“stabby-stabby. But you know, I’m just . . . pissed.”
Sydney let go of the skirt while shaking her head and smiled because only Mya’s cheeky sense of humor could lighten her up at a time like this.
She needed to stitch herself together after talking to Levi, and she had no desire to pull at a thread and find herself unraveled again. “I’m okay. You know me, I don’t care about Alice or Seth. Just Levi.”
Mya frowned. “When did the Seth-and-Alice thing start up again?”
“I don’t know. Levi saw them together a few weeks ago, but he didn’t say anything to me until the other day.” And then he saw them again today. “But Seth’s ill-timed and ‘important’”—Sydney made air quotes—“phone call makes me think Levi confessed the same news to Seth just today.” The achy sensation in her stomach returned. “Levi was so mad at Seth after the affair. It took him a long time to forgive his dad, and I just don’t know what this will do to him. Seth promised him that it’d been a mistake four years ago, and he’d never meant for anything to happen with Aunt Alice. Well, that’s how Levi referred to her back then.”
“He calls her the She-Devil now when he mentions her to me,” Mya said with raised eyebrows. “Levi is strong, and he’s older now. Plus, he has you.”
“Yeah, except I’m here working, and I should be there with him and—”
“Stop.” Mya jumped up and gestured with her hands, calling up her Italian ancestry. “Levi loves the work you do. He admires you so much, and I don’t think you see that because Seth-the-fucktwat is always in your head.”
