Rush Into You, page 17
“I need a drink.” She sighed heavily.
I stood from the recliner that was angled toward the couch, “Well, I don’t have much since I don’t drink, but I do have some wine I use for cooking. Red and white.”
“Red, please. You’re a god-send, Gabby.”
I got her wine and poured it into a cute wine glass I never had reason to use. When I sat back down, I decided to share a bit of my past with her. I blew a long breath out in preparation, trying to calm my frantic nerves.
“What’s wrong?” Jay looked concerned.
“We have a lot more in common that I thought, Jay. You just trusted me with something huge, and I’m hoping I can trust you with something huge as well.”
She sat up intrigued, giving me her undivided attention. I took a sip of the vitamin water I’d grabbed for myself to buy time.
“You don’t need to feel different around me because you told me about your history with drugs.” I breathed deeply, hoping to calm myself down. “I have my own history with drug addiction. I’m a recovering intravenous heroin user. I’ve been clean for almost two years.”
I gave her a moment to digest the news and watched her closely to read her reaction. Besides a quick widening of her eyes, she didn’t react much. There was no judgement in her body language, just some expectable surprise.
“I never would have guessed. You seem so perfect,” she said finally.
“I’m far from perfect, Jay. I just choose what people see. Running around telling everyone I used to shoot dope isn’t ideal. It’s a part of my past I’m not proud of, so I don’t share with just anybody.”
Jay nodded, a friendly smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
When Jay left a couple hours later, I felt restless. Our conversation kept tugging at my mind, and nothing I did would calm me. I worked on a few projects to ensure I made the requested deadlines and tried to throw myself into studying for an upcoming exam, but I couldn’t focus on the material I needed to learn for Microbiology because my attention was elsewhere. I never would have guessed that my best friend was a recovering drug addict. What were the odds? In actuality, almost everyone was either directly or indirectly affected by drugs, whether you were addicted to drugs yourself, or someone you knew was affected by the disease of addiction in some way. I couldn’t recall the exact statistics, but I’d learned firsthand that this disease shouldn’t be taken lightly. Drug addiction was an epidemic.
The fact that I’d told Jay about my history with drugs by my own choice was a big step for me. Yes, she told me about her own history first which made me more comfortable, but that hadn’t given me reason to share my own experience with people before now. Openly admitting to something so personal was very unlike me.
As I stared at my textbook rereading the same paragraph repeatedly, an idea suddenly came to me. The more I thought about it, the more I knew it was what I needed to do. I closed my book and set it aside with my laptop, then went to the kitchen to grab my cell phone from the counter. I unplugged the charger and stared nervously at the dark screen for a few moments before I braved my anxiety and swiped the touch screen to unlock my smartphone. I tapped the ten numbers that I had memorized into the dialer — I’d pressed these buttons on my phone so many times over the last five years but never had the guts to hit send. It was a phone number that I’d never forget, not in a million years. I quickly hit send before I lost my nerve.
After a brief second, I heard ringing through the tiny speaker. My heart pounded, my chest felt tight, my hands were clammy and a sheen of sweat coated my brow. I was having a panic attack as I listened to the phone trying to connect the call. I turned the volume up all the way, not wanting to miss if someone answered, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn't pick up. I’d had my phone number changed since the last time we talked, and I knew how wary she was about answering calls from numbers she didn’t recognize.
The fifth ring sounded and I pulled the phone away from my ear, prepared to swipe the screen to disconnect the call. At the last second before my finger reached the display icon of a red phone, I heard a small voice come through the speaker.
“Hello?” She sounded unsure, nervous about who would be calling her from a number she didn’t know.
“Hi, Mom. It’s me.”
“MOM? ARE YOU there?” I pulled the phone away from my ear to check the screen. The call was still connected. “Hello?”
“Is that really you, Gabby?” My mother’s voice shook.
I closed my eyes, the hurt in her voice was a punch in the gut. I gripped the counter top to keep from crumbling to the tiled floor. “Yes, Ma, it’s really me.”
“Oh thank you, God!” she sobbed.
I listened to her cry, wishing that I was with her so that I could give her a hug. Hearing her voice now really made me regret my decision to walk away from my family. I should have given her the choice, but I knew that she’d choose me over the jerks back home. She would have happily took everyone’s shit as long as I was in her life. I just felt that she’d be better off without me. Trouble followed me everywhere I went.
“Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry, Ma.” I sighed, fighting my own tears. I cleared my throat. “I just…I just wanted you to know that I’m okay. And that I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. Where are you?”
“I live close, just a couple of towns over from Breckston.” I inwardly cringed, knowing that it must hurt her that she hasn’t seen me.
“Wow, that is close.”
“Listen, Mom. I’m so sorry about everything—”
My mother interrupted me before I could finish my apology. “Baby, I know. It’s okay. I’m just happy that you’re alive. I was…I was so afraid.” She hiccupped.
I felt like total shit for putting her in this situation. It had been years since I’d seen or talked to my mother and father, and I couldn’t even imagine how I would feel if I’d had a child do that to me. I shuddered at the thought.
“We should get together soon and talk in person. I’ve been doing really good, Mom. I’ve been clean and sober for almost two years. I feel great,” I told her honestly.
A burst of air sounded through the phone, and I knew my mother had sighed in relief. “You have no idea how happy that makes me. I’m proud of you. Your father and I prayed for you every night, Gabriella. We hoped you were safe and loved.”
My mind immediately went to Ryker. I had such strong feelings for him. He was someone I would love to introduce to my mother one day. “Well, I have met someone. He’s been amazing, and he respects me. He doesn’t judge me.”
“I’d love to meet him, sweetie. Um, I hate to ask…” She cleared her throat. “Does he know about what happened?”
“He knows about my addiction.” I didn’t say more. Some things are meant to be kept a secret.
We talked for another thirty minutes about how things were going back home. I could have listened to my mother talk for hours. My father got home from work as I was on the phone with her and I got to say hello to him. It hurt to hear the pain in my dad’s voice, but he sounded better by the time that we’d hung up.
My mom made plans to come see me on Sunday.
Two more days.
Night had fallen, and it was time to head to Ryker’s race. The thundering sound of his Harley pipes alerted me of his arrival, so I headed out to meet him. He was walking up the stone steps and carrying a handled shopping bag. He greeted me with a soft kiss, his mouth lingering on my full bottom lip before sucking it gently into his mouth.
“Well, hello to you too.” I sounded breathless. I would never get tired of his kisses.
“Hey, babe.” He lifted the bag slightly to show it to me. “Can I come inside for a minute before we leave?”
I stepped aside to let him through the screen door, then checked out the bag he’d placed on my kitchen table. “What’s up, sexy? Did a little shopping before your race?” I teased.
He whacked me on the butt playfully. “Wise ass. Actually, I did a little shopping for you. Check it out.”
Surprised, I walked the few steps over to the table and peeked inside the bag. I pulled out a stunning red leather jacket. It was buttery soft and absolutely gorgeous. I looked up at Ryker with wide eyes.
“Do you like it?” He sounded unsure.
“Ryker, I love it but isn’t this too much? I mean, it must’ve cost a small fortune.”
He shook his head and took the jacket from me. I unzipped the black fleece I was wearing and shrugged out of it, letting it fall to the floor, then he helped me into the new jacket. My fingers relished the feel of what must have been the softest leather in the world. I stretched my arms out and twirled around—it was perfect.
“You look beautiful, Gabby. It’ll be perfect to wear when you’re on my bike…or anywhere.”
I smiled and took his outstretched hand as I followed him out of the house.
I loved riding to Ryker’s races on the back of his bike.
As we rolled to a stop at the meeting location before we headed to the boulevard, I felt all the envious glares of the women around us. Ryker was a celebrity in the drag race community, and everyone knew him. The girls wanted to be with him, and the guys wanted to be him. I felt important when I showed up here with him.
I felt claimed.
He didn’t let go of my hand when he helped me off the bike. It was his show of possession, and I never wanted to be possessed more. It made me hot, and I already couldn’t wait to get back home with him and let him have his way with me. I followed Ryker into the crowd and we strolled right up to a few people Ryker associated himself with. Although everyone here wanted to be Ryker’s friend, there were only a few he actually considered friends.
“Hendrix, my man.” Ryker let go of my hand just long enough to slap hands with his friend. “You remember my girlfriend Gabby, right?”
Girlfriend.
My heart stopped. That was the first time he had ever introduced me as such. We hadn’t had any conversations about labels and exclusivity, but I knew it was what I wanted, and knowing that he wanted me in the same way sent excitement rushing through my veins. I squeezed his hand tighter when he reached back for me and smiled.
“Gabriella! Beautiful name for a beautiful girl! C’mere!” Hendrix pulled me in for a huge hug and kissed both of my cheeks. I laughed at his enthusiasm. There was something that I liked about Hendrix even if I didn’t really know him. He had good energy.
Hendrix was incredibly good looking. His hair was a dark blond that was styled in a faux hawk that he rocked like nobody’s business. He wore square, diamond studs in each ear, and a thick pink scar about four inches long going down his neck under his left ear. I wondered what had happened to him to have that kind of scar, but I didn’t know him enough to ask. He stood even in height with Ryker, and he definitely had muscles, but he was leaner than Ryker. His short sleeved t-shirt revealed intricately designed colored tattoos that rivaled Ryker’s and his shorts showed off the artwork covering his legs.
“How’s it going, Hen?” I laughed.
“Hen…I like that. You’d think more people would call me Hen, right? Or Drix,”
I shrugged. “It sounds right.”
“Well, now I have you to call me Hen. Yay!” he cheered.
Ryker threw his arm around my shoulders and laughed. “You’re crazy, man.”
“Yep, crazy good in bed is what the chicks say.” Hendrix bit his lip and pumped his hips in beat with his arms, air thrusting. He winked at us, then turned to leave, jumping into the nearest open truck bed.
I followed Ryker back to his bike, knowing it was almost time to head to the boulevard. We listened as Hendrix made a few announcements and worked his magic amping up the crowd. Bets were taking place as usual, and most of the crowd placed their money on my boyfriend.
My boyfriend. I liked that I could call him that now.
Ryker talked to a couple about motorcycle parts as I looked around at the large crowd. There were definitely over a hundred people here, and I knew that the audience would double by the time we’d hit the boulevard.
As I scanned the area, I locked eyes with an icy blue stare and I gasped. Keith — Ryker’s number one rival in the racing community. Not that he was any real competition, but he’d won all the races before Ryker came along, and Keith held a major grudge.
Keith stepped away from the group he was standing with and stalked straight toward us. Ryker was still in a conversation with the people beside us, but I reached back and grabbed his hand in warning. “Ryker, Keith is coming over here.”
Ryker immediately focused his attention on me and caught sight of Keith. He stood to his full height, his strong build seeming to take up more space than it actually did. His posture was straight, exuded confidence and screamed for people not to fuck with him, but Keith didn’t take the hint. He stepped in front us closer than what would be considered respectful, especially from someone who wasn’t considered a friend. Those icy eyes of his never left mine, not even to acknowledge Ryker. The hatred behind his stare confused me, and I had no idea why it was directed at me.
“Back off, Keith. Whatever your issue is today we’ll deal with it on the boulevard.” Ryker’s voice held the tone of finality, letting Keith know there wasn’t room for argument or games.
“This isn’t about you right now, Rosse. It’s between me and your girl.”
I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin, hoping to appear more confident than I felt on the inside. “What’s this all about, Keith?”
“Curiosity had me asking around about you.” My eyes widened, and anxiety coursed through my bloodstream and pooled in my stomach. I felt sick.
“That’s interesting and all, but quite unnecessary,” Ryker interjected, “My relationships have nothing to do with you, so there’s no reason you need to worry about who I’m with.” I could tell that he was pissed, but he appeared calm and almost polite to anyone else who was witnessing this.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Rosse. It just so happens that this girlfriend of yours is my business.”
Ryker opened his mouth to respond, but Keith cut him off. His eyes narrowed as he stared me down. “Do you happen to be the famous Gabby Carter from Breckston?”
My blood ran cold, and my heart stopped beating. Who the hell was this guy and what did he want with me? I had no idea how much Keith knew about me, but I could tell he was prepared to dish out everything he did know.
“Do you know who I am, Gabby?” Keith snarled.
I shook my head. “Besides seeing you here, no, can’t say I do. Am I supposed to?”
He laughed humorlessly, the sound of disbelief. “You ruined my life, and you don’t even remember me? You’re fucking unbelievable!”
Hendrix came over in that tense moment and clapped Keith on his shoulder. “Let’s get this started, Rayburn. You’re racing twice tonight. You’re going up against Eric first and ending with your best friend Ryker here.”
Rayburn.
Hendrix’s voice echoed in my mind as I focused on that name. It was more than familiar to me, and I couldn’t hide the widening of my eyes when I recognized it. Keith’s stance turned rigid.
“There she goes,” he taunted, “Piece it together.”
Flashes of my past bombarded my brain, bringing my horrid memories to the front of my mind. Rayburn. I knew the name well. I’d heard it repeated continuously throughout my trial when my fate was being decided. Stacey and Kenneth Rayburn, married for twenty-two years, parents of a twenty-one year old son and expecting another son in four short months. That family had haunted me for years, every single time my eyes closed. I didn’t know them personally, but I’d single-handedly stolen their lives. I'd ruined the Rayburn family.
“Yeah, she knows exactly who I am.”
My hands were clammy, and my heart was racing. I couldn’t believe this was happening. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered to Keith.
“Sorry? Sorry! Are you fucking shitting me? I find you here smiling and laughing it up with lover boy week after week, going about your life as if everything is fine. I’m glad you got over what happened so easily because I sure as fuck didn’t! You took my family away from me! Every single one of them! I never got to meet my baby brother because of you, you fucking bitch!”
“It was an accident.” I shook my head, not knowing what to say. Keith had every right to flip out on me. He had every reason to hate me.
Ryker stood protectively in front of me, shielding me with his powerful body. “Back off, Keith! I fucking mean it! Get out of here!”
“You wouldn’t be protecting her if you knew who she was, Rosse!” Keith yelled, spitting Ryker’s name.
“Fuck you, dude! I know Gabby. You need to walk away now before I fuck your shit up. I’m tired of your games. You have no right to talk to my girl like that,” Ryker defended me.
I put my hand on his bicep; the muscles flexed solid from his anger. He was prepared to hurt Keith and disqualify himself from the race to defend my honor.
“Ryker, stop. Please. He’s telling the truth.”
He spun around so quickly that my hand was dislodged from his arm. Confusion teased his features before he schooled his face blank. “I don’t care if he’s telling the truth.” He shook his head like he couldn’t understand it. “He needs to apologize.”
The humorless and bitter sound of Keith’s loud laughter hurt my heart. He’d had everything he’d ever known taken away from him in the blink of an eye. “Apologize?” Keith screamed. “Apologize for what? That her drunk ass murdered my parents and unborn brother?”
I felt myself crumbling, shutting down as my mind flew to my old coping mechanism, wanting to run and find something to numb the pain taking me over. My hand flew to my mouth, nausea bubbling in my stomach. I was going to be sick.
