Once Upon A Grump, page 1
ONCE UPON A GRUMP
PENELOPE BLOOM
CONTENTS
1. Lola
2. Lola
3. Christian
4. Lola
5. Lola
6. Christian
7. Lola
8. Lola
9. Christian
10. Lola
11. Christian
12. Lola
13. Christian
14. Lola
15. Christian
16. Lola
17. Christian
18. Christian
19. Lola
20. Christian
21. Lola
22. Christian
23. Lola
24. Christian
25. Lola
26. Lola
27. Christian
28. Lola
29. Christian
30. Lola
31. Christian
32. Lola
33. Christian
34. Lola
35. Christian
36. Lola
37. Christian
38. Lola
39. Lola
40. Christian
41. Lola
42. Lola
43. Christian
44. Lola
45. Christian
46. Lola
47. Epilogue - Christian
48. Don’t Forget To Review!
49. Once Upon A Bet: Sneak Peak (Greyson)
50. Harper
51. Suggested Reading Order
1
LOLA
You could say I’d made a mistake–sure, you’d be guilty of the world’s largest understatement, but you could say it.
The way I saw things, I had two options. I could wallow in self-pity and drown my sorrows in soda and sweet candies. Or I could look at this wonderful disaster as an opportunity to hit the old reset switch. I could be like a peppy little phoenix, reborn from the ashes of my former life.
I’d never been much for feeling sorry for myself. That’s why I’d loaded Termite up in my car and headed off for a job interview in a place I’d never heard of.
By the time we arrived, I was more than a little sleep deprived after days of long driving. My stomach was rumbling from all the road snacks and fast food I’d eaten. It was three in the morning, and I still needed to find a place to stay the night. Rain had been pouring for hours and the rumble of thunder seemed ever-present.
I gave Termite a nervous scratch behind her ears. “This definitely isn’t a bad omen.”
Termite hated storms. She gave a pitiful little grunt, almost like she was disagreeing with me.
“Come on,” I said. “Rain means new beginnings. It’s a good sign.”
Termite kept shaking in the passenger seat. I gave her a reassuring pat and sighed. “This is our new beginning. Unless a bolt of lightning takes me out, at least.”
I pulled off to the side of the road and checked the email one more time. According to the website I’d applied through, Stone Financial Corporation was a juggernaut in the business world. Their brand new sixty-story skyscraper was in a place called Fairhope, Colorado. I hadn’t even done a quick search on the city, but I double checked the address to make sure there weren’t two places called Fairhope.
It may have been dark and my vision was clouded by sheets of rain, but Fairhope looked more like a sleepy little town than some bustling city that would be home to a big corporation.
“Think this is it?” I asked Termite. I’d been talking to my dog a lot since I left home yesterday. Hopefully that didn’t mean I was losing my mind.
She started humping her stuffed bunny while making little grunting noises.
I sighed. Termite was some sort of pug mixed with God knew what. She was also the only female dog I’d ever met who had a bit of a humping problem.
I ducked my head, trying to look through my windows from where I’d pulled off on the side of the road. My headlights cut through the pouring rain to light a sign that read Fairhope Colorado in cheery red lettering, but the “e” looked like it could fall at any minute. Past the sign, brief flickers of lightning lit rows of single and two-story buildings as well as some more scattered homes along the rolling hills in the distance.
A huge lightning strike lit everything with pure white light for a split second, giving me a glimpse of the towering skyscraper behind Fairhope. It speared into the rainy night like some phallic middle finger to the small town below it. It came and went so quickly I almost wouldn’t have believed it if the afterimage hadn’t burned into my eyes. I blinked rapidly, watching the reddish ghost of the tower flick across my vision.
“So weird,” I muttered to myself. I thought zoning laws prevented skyscrapers from being built near towns like this, but apparently that wasn’t the case here.
I was yawning non-stop and craving a warm bed, but I also couldn’t resist getting a closer look. It was just too weird. I put the car back into drive and headed slowly toward the building. The drive took me through Fairhope and back out the other side of Main Street. I eventually hit a patch of freshly built suburban houses and all sorts of construction. It looked like the entire place had popped up overnight.
A sign outside the skyscraper read “Stone Tower”. I pursed my lips thoughtfully. Sounds kinda evil, I thought. But no matter how weird or evil this whole thing was, it was also perfect. They’d recently finished construction and were still recruiting heavily. I may have only been twenty-five, but I’d been working in financial services for three years already and had an impressive resume.
I parked out front and narrowed my eyes. The ground floor was lit and I saw a man in what looked like pajamas pouring himself coffee through the many windows. It was an oddly cozy sight with the rain pouring down outside. I bet it was warmer in there than my crummy car was managing.
I tapped the steering wheel anxiously. I should really go find a hotel, or even a motel at this point–if it had a bed and a door, I would be more than happy. But I also happened to be a bit over-curious. More than a few former boyfriends had broken up with me over it. My insatiable curiosity had also sort of kicked off the chain of events that led to the rubble of my former life back in New York.
But I only said I was starting fresh out here in Colorado. I never said I was going to change.
So I picked up Termite and tucked her under my coat. We rushed through the rain a few feet until we reached an awning above the front doors. I just wanted a closer look. Maybe I could ask that guy for a few pointers on my interview tomorrow. If nothing else, I could figure out why the hell Stone Financial had decided to build their new headquarters in the middle of nowhere like this.
I gave the large front doors a tug and was surprised to find they opened easily. The decor immediately made me feel under-dressed, even in the middle of the night. Everything was all polished, gleaming, and modern. It was like stepping inside a swanky spaceship. And there I was in a ratty road tripping t-shirt, one of Brad’s old, oversized coats, and yoga pants with my comfiest pink fluffy sandals.
I spotted the guy I’d seen once I was inside. His back was to me and he was sitting in a little lounge area with his coffee on the table in front of him and a newspaper in his lap. What kind of person still reads the newspaper? And who does it at three in the morning with a cup of coffee?
“Hi,” I said.
The man sputtered as he was sipping his coffee and spilled it on his shirt. “Fuck,” he swore, standing up and trying to blot his white t-shirt with napkins. I grinned when I saw he had on checked blue pajama pants and was barefoot.
“Sorry,” I said, rushing to help him. “I didn’t mean to startle you. Here, let me help with that.”
I started pushing napkins against his chest around the same time I got my first real look at him. Walls of muscle. Mountains of masculinity. Eyes like little blue daggers made for slicing off panties in one clean swoop. He was the kind of gorgeous that made stories about women falling for their twisted captors believable.
I blinked. I was definitely sleep deprived. He was just a man. A man who was glaring at me as I awkwardly pushed napkins against his hard, sculpted pecs. He had dark black hair cut short at the sides and swooped back at the top. He wasn’t just hot. He was smoldering, even in his PJ’s.
He had a sharp jawline, high cheekbones, great hair, and those eyes… They somehow managed to make me feel like he was picturing me naked and about to drag me back into the rain by my collar at the same time. Why was that combination so hot?
I cleared my throat and stepped back, laughing a little as I lowered my hand. “Sorry,” I said, as if that was one of the only words I could say around this man.
“How did you get in here?” he asked.
He had a voice like chocolate syrup. Deep, smooth, and delicious. I had a brief and powerful urge to strip off my clothes and drizzle that delicious syrup all over my body. “The door was open.”
“Why did you come in here?” He asked again, as if deciding that was the more important question. “It’s pouring.”
“Well, I have an interview tomorrow. I was driving by to check the place out. I saw a light on and someone inside. I just thought I could come introduce myself. I’m Lola Thorn, by the way.” I flashed my best smile and stuck out the hand that wasn’t holding Termite to shake.
He looked at my hand like it was a dead fish, then slid his gaze to Termite. “What is that?”
“This is Termite,” I said, setting her down so she could go up and say “hi”. “She’s really sweet, but
Termite rushed toward him and started humping his leg. “She’s a little perverted,” I added in a small voice.
The man bent and removed Termite from his leg, lifting her as if she might be diseased and handing her back to me. “You and your dog both need to leave. Now. There are umbrellas by the door.”
“Oh,” I said. “I’m sorry. Are you like a security guy? I didn’t get your name.”
He stared. “You don’t know who I am?”
I looked at his chest again, which was a bit of a mistake. I could see the shape of those glorious pecs and the hint of his nipples through the white fabric of his shirt. He didn’t just go to the gym. He might actually live in one. I wondered if he was the kind of guy who liked having his nipples played with. “No nametag,” I said, still trying to flash my most winning smile. Other than the whole former life in flames thing, I was really good with people. They liked me.
The man stared. “You have an interview tomorrow? For what position?”
“Executive assistant, actually. The website said Mr. Stone needs a good one. And between you and me? I’m decent, but I’m hoping I can convince him I’m the girl tomorrow.”
Something crossed the man’s face I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Was it amusement, or was he trying to decide if he could chop me into little pieces and get away with it?
“I still didn’t get your name,” I tried with another smile.
“I didn’t give it. Do you drink coffee?” he asked.
“Um, actually, I don’t. My last ex said I was already almost unbearably peppy as it was. So I quit caffeine for him to try to be less annoying. Guess that wasn’t enough,” I added with a wince. “But I haven’t had a drop of the stuff in like six months.”
“You mean this is you without caffeine?”
“Pure and unfiltered. Did you still want me to leave, by the way? I have boundary issues. I’m trying to get better with that. So if you want me to leave, just say the word and I’ll get out of your hair. Otherwise, I may accidentally think you’re really enjoying my company and overstay my welcome.”
He hesitated, then looked me up and down from head to toe. I felt oddly aroused and uncomfortable from the attention. “Do you want that coffee or not?”
I chewed the corner of my lip. “Aren’t you scared to see me on caffeine?”
“I don’t scare easily,” he said simply. When the man walked back toward the counter where a coffee pot was waiting, I casually admired his ass. It looked firm enough that a blacksmith could use it as an anvil in a pinch.
Termite was practically vibrating in my hand. I had a feeling she was hoping I’d release her so she could go to town on him again. “For once,” I whispered. “You’re not the only one having to fight the urge not to hump someone.”
“How do you take your coffee?” he asked over his shoulder.
“Firm,” I breathed.
“Excuse me?” he asked.
I dragged my eyes away from his ass and laughed awkwardly. “Lots of sugar and lots of cream if you have it. I never really liked the flavor of coffee. I’m more of a sweetened milk kind of girl. Like Michael from The Office,” I added, then I realized a guy who reads newspapers probably didn’t watch The Office.
He didn’t ask questions before dumping a few packets of sugar and pouring some creamer into the coffee. He stirred it for me and brought it over.
I realized just how tall he was when he returned. The top of my head didn’t even quite reach his chin. I felt a little bit like a child as I looked up at him and reached my hand to take the cup. I was too distracted to look at what I was doing with my hand and our fingers brushed as I took it from him.
One little brush of his warm skin against mine was all it took to sound the “play time” alarm in my vagina region. I suppressed a little quiver of excitement and internally told myself to calm the flip down–I was trying to swear less, even in my own head.
I covered my little moment with a friendly smile and nodded my head in thanks. I took a sip and let out an accidental moan. “God. So good. Um,” I said after an awkward silence stretched between us. “Did you still want me to go?”
He considered me for an uncomfortably long time. “No,” he finally said. “As long as you keep that dog away from me.”
I tucked Termite closer to my side. “Consider her under lock and key.”
Termite let out a little groan as if she understood me.
I sat across from where he’d been sitting and set my coffee on the little table. The man got up to pour himself another cup since he’d spilled most of the other one on his shirt. When he sat back down, he sipped his drink and picked the newspaper back up.
“So,” I tried after a few seconds. “You’re a newspaper kind of guy?”
He raised his eyes to look at me for a moment, then went back to his paper.
“Kinda old fashioned. You know you never told me what you do here. Are you a security guard? Maintenance? A janitor–actually, is janitor an offensive term? Are you a cleaning specialist?”
He gave me that look again, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to smirk or go full blown Dexter on me. “You said you’re applying for the executive assistant position. What makes you think you’re qualified?”
“Well, I’m great with people for starters. Except if they are easily annoyed. Those people tend to find me to be a little too much. But I’m good at reading a room. I can tone it down when I have to.”
“Is that so?” he didn’t look up from his paper when he spoke.
“Yep. Once, I got this job I wasn’t qualified at all for because I sort of charmed the manager. Granted, it was just at a resale clothing store when I was sixteen, but I think it sort of goes to show what you can accomplish with the right attitude.”
“So is that your plan?” he asked. “Swindle Mr. Stone into hiring you even though you aren’t qualified or fit for the position?”
I laughed. “I mean, he sort of built his headquarters in the middle of nowhere. I’m wondering if he’s even had any other applicants for the position. I’m thinking I may walk in and find he’s begging me to take the job.”
“You think he was foolish to build his headquarters out here?”
“Foolish. Crazy. Stupid. Yep. Probably all three. I mean, what could he be thinking?” I felt my mouth running faster than my brain could keep up with. The hit of coffee after so long without was getting to me fast. “There’s a reason businesses are set up in big cities. Nobody out here is going to be qualified for jobs at a place like this. He’ll be lucky even to get me.”
“I’d suggest keeping those opinions to yourself during your interview.”
“Oh, definitely,” I agreed. “Like I said. I’m great at reading people. I’ll take a look at this Stone guy tomorrow and figure out the best approach on the fly.”
“I’m sure.” He got up and set his paper down. “If you are hoping to get enough rest, you should probably go.”
“You’re right!” I popped up and drained the last of my coffee. “Know any good places to stay around here?”
“The Ashford Inn. It’s in Fairhope.”
“Perfect. I’ll pop it in my GPS and head over. I’d ask for your name again, but you clearly don’t want to give it. No hard feelings, though. I used to teach middle schoolers and I once had a kid who wouldn’t even make eye contact until after Christmas. But guess who got me an end of the year present?” I smiled proudly. “So I know I’ll get your name eventually.”
Mr. PJ’s face completely shifted. He went from disinterested and cold. Suddenly, his eyes were boring into me like two icy flames. “You were a teacher?”
