Once Upon A Grump, page 17
“No.” She shook her head violently. “Alright, we have a new mission. I’m going to teach you to be happy, and you’re going to let me.”
“Lola… I have too much on my plate to worry about shit like that.”
“You want to know something? I spent a long time trying to convince myself I was happy enough in my old life. Everything was just good enough. Sure, there were some little problems here and there. And maybe if I looked closer, they’d look more like big problems. But I could deal with it because I convinced myself it was okay to be happy enough. And then I woke up one day and realized it wasn’t okay. I deserved to be all the way happy. I shouldn’t have to close one eye and avoid looking in certain directions. I wanted to have my arms and eyes wide open, a smile on my face, the sun on my back, and a freaking pony in my backyard.”
“A pony?” I asked.
She waved her hand at me, annoyed. “Yes. One day I want to have a huge backyard with horses and chickens. I want one really big, grumpy rooster who attacks me when I try to feed the chickens. Maybe some goats who like to stand on things,” she was talking so fast I almost couldn’t understand her. She blinked, then shook her head and continued. “The point is I decided I didn’t care how scary or hard it was. I wanted to start over and make the life I deserved for myself. And everybody deserves to be happy, okay? Even grumpy, bossy CEOs who think they don’t.”
“Why would you want the rooster to attack you?”
“Would you focus on the bigger picture here? I’m going to show you what I learned whether you like it or not. I’m not going to rest until you’re smiling so wide your cheeks hurt.”
“How do you suppose you’ll accomplish this?”
“With my bubbly, charming disposition and a little planning. What is your favorite thing to do?”
“I suppose I enjoy when I’ve cleared my email inbox.”
She slumped forward, giving me dead eyes. “Come on, Christian. Snap out of work robot mode. What is something normal that makes you happy. And it can’t be work related.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know?”
Lola surprised me by giving me a little slap on the cheek and glaring, fists on her hips. “Try harder.”
I grinned. “I used to play basketball as a kid with my brothers. I enjoyed when I beat them.”
“Perfect! What else?”
“That’s not enough?”
“I need more, Stones.”
I smirked. “Apple pie with ice cream. My grandmother used to make it for Thanksgiving and I would hardly eat anything to make sure I had room to stuff myself on it.”
Lola clapped her hands. “More. Give me more.”
I looked up, thinking hard. I hadn’t even thought about any of this stuff in so long. It admittedly felt oddly good to dredge up old memories–memories from before I became so consumed with work. “Riding my bike at night. My brothers and I used to sneak out after dark and bike to the lake. We’d try to see who could swim out to the platform the fastest. Sometimes we’d bring girls with us,” I added.
“See? There is a human inside there after all. Where was this lake?”
“Maybe just an hour or so from here in this place called Monument.”
“Wait, you grew up here?”
I shrugged. “So what?”
“Is that why you really brought Stone Financial here? Are you telling me there’s a sentimental side to you?”
“No,” I snapped. “I was making a business decision. It has nothing to do with where I grew up.”
She wiggled her eyebrows, then winked. “Right. Of course not.”
“What about you?” I asked, hoping to change the subject. “What makes you happy?”
Unlike me, Lola didn’t have to stop and think. “Being in scenic places. Hikes, sightseeing, cheesy bus tours of historic places. I like art galleries and weird concerts where just a few drunken people are having the times of their lives in front of the stage. Holding hands during sunset. Horses, goats, and grumpy roosters.”
I chuckled. “What is it with you and the animals?”
“My friend growing up had an uncle in upstate New York with a hundred acres and a farm. She would always invite me when her family went to visit, and after life in the city, it felt like such an escape. Everything just slowed down. You could close your eyes and drink it all in. I don’t know, it just felt so refreshing. We’d go down by the stream and throw rocks while the horses were grazing in the grass. Sometimes we’d bring our swimsuits and play in the water and the farm dogs would join us. Or we’d sit on the porch in the rocking chairs and listen to the wind with the sun on our faces.” Lola shrugged, smiling in a way that made me feel like I could almost see what she was seeing. “It was what happiness felt like. I’ve never forgotten that feeling. I think it’s why I couldn’t really convince myself my life in New York was right. I knew what it really felt like to be happy–to be content. And that wasn’t it. So I’m going to keep trying until I find that for myself, no matter what it takes.”
“And you think dating me has a chance of getting you that feeling?” I asked. I felt suddenly dirty for even letting this happen. Her idea of what she wanted was so pure and innocent. It felt so good. It had been a long time since I felt good. I certainly wasn’t the man to give her a future like that. So what was I doing by letting her tether herself to me? I was just delaying her chance of reaching that future.
“I think you’ve been punishing yourself for something and you don’t even realize it. That there’s a man inside there,” she pressed her palm to my chest, eyes intent on mine. “I doubt you’d even recognize him anymore. But yes, I think we’re not as different as you think. And I believe in listening to your heart. At first, mine said to stay away from the grumpy bear. But then it started saying to give him a chance. So here we are.”
“Here we are,” I agreed in a low voice.
Lola chewed her lips, eyes darting between mine searchingly.
I put my finger under her chin and lifted her face, leaning down to take her mouth in mine. She was soft and warm. I slid my arms around her back, loving the way she seemed to always start off stiff and then melt into my touch.
I kissed her there on the porch while I knew my niece was sleeping soundly on the couch. I kissed her while I replayed our conversation and couldn’t help wondering if this was just a taste of what she’d meant. Because when my lips were on hers, I couldn’t bring myself to care about work–not in the way I usually did. All that seemed to matter was the way she felt under my hands–small and delicate and fragile. I wanted to keep her. The feeling was so fierce it almost hurt.
Lola was something precious. She was fleeting, like the view of a sunset glimpsed through the trees from the window of a bus. There was no stopping the bus. There was no way to stop the sun from sinking out of view. All you could do was recognize the beauty of what you’d seen and try to memorize it.
That was Lola. I had no doubts she was going to pass through my life. She’d realize she was wrong about me and learn she deserved better. She’d move on to find her perfect happy ever after and leave me to wallow in my cold existence. But maybe it wasn’t so wrong to try to enjoy what this was while it lasted.
I kissed her deeper, loving the little moan that slipped from her mouth.
Then her dog started scratching at the sliding door and she pulled back, gaze still locked on mine. She ran her thumb across her puffy, reddened lips as if in awe, and then smiled. “Termite needs to poop. She always poops this time of night.”
I shook my head. “Those are not the words I expected to come out of your mouth.”
Lola looked suddenly devious. She gripped my shirt in her fist, pulling herself closer and tilting her head up to mine. “What? Were you expecting me to profess my undying love because you’re an amazing kisser?”
I smirked. “Something like that.”
“Nope,” she said lightly, dusting off my shirt. “That wasn’t it.”
I watched her go and felt something inside me that had been cold for as long as I could remember flicker with heat.
Dangerous. A girl like this was dangerous as hell. With one look, she might be capable of making me throw away everything I thought I’d cared about. But I had to remember this couldn’t last. I wasn’t the kind of man women committed to. I was a temporary distraction. A little fun along their way to their final destination.
32
LOLA
I went through my usual morning routine at work. Christian’s list of tasks for the day was shorter than usual, so I spent even more time making sure I passed off duties to the right people. It felt odd knowing my time tutoring Max was coming to an end in just a few days, and I found my thoughts preoccupied with the idea. She was starting school at Fairhope High in six days, and I’d agreed to start picking her up and bringing her back to my apartment every day.
Sure, I was excited, but it felt beyond weird. I also wondered how things were going to play out between me and Christian. Would he spend most nights at my place like he had last night? Or was that kind of thing going to be a rare exception to him hiding away in his tower?
I must’ve been wearing my thoughts on my face, because Paisley nudged me in the shoulder, leaning in to meet my eyes. “Everything okay in paradise?” she asked. Paisley had on a yellow dress with buttons all the way up the middle with a jean jacket and black pumps. As usual, she looked good enough that she was probably already dressed for a date after work.
“Yep,” I said. “And I have some juicy information, but you need to get Cassie to meet me in the breakroom for it. Be there in five minutes, okay?”
Paisley’s eyes lit up and she rushed off toward where Cassie was pacing back and forth, arguing about something on a phone call by her desk.
I finished up what I was doing and went to the breakroom to wait for them. It was still early, and the room was empty like I’d hoped.
Cassie and Paisley came rushing in not long after.
“Spill it!” Cassie said. “I had to cut it short with the scam caller I was giving a hard time, so this better be good.”
“Mr. Stone and I are officially dating,” I said.
“What. The. Fuck.” Cassie whispered the words like she’d just watched a dead body rise from the grave.
“Holy shit, girl,” Paisley said, smiling big and sticking her hands up for a pair of high fives.
I slapped her hands, smiling. “I think I kind of forced him into it?” I said, smile fading.
“Wait, back up,” Cassie said. “Start from the beginning.”
I spent a few minutes trying to give as much detail as I could. I went over everything from hating him but thinking he was hot as hell to the brief casual sex phase and how that had just ramped up all the dormant feelings I was trying to suppress.
“So you… don’t hate him?” Paisley asked. “I’m confused.”
“Honestly? So am I. Every relationship I’ve been in before felt like a choice. A guy was cute and we got to talking and I decided I wanted to give things a shot. This hasn’t felt like something I’m in control of. And I eventually realized I either needed to give it a shot or I was going to spend the rest of my life obsessively thinking about whether not trying was a mistake.”
“Damn, girl,” Cassie said. “Sounds like love.”
Paisley laughed and whacked Cassie on the arm. “Easy, killer. It’s infatuation. Definitely a spark. Definitely physical connection. But love? If you ask me, love is the word people use when they get tired of dating and want to pretend someone is perfect.”
“Cynical, much?” Cassie asked. “No wonder you are dating your way through every man in Colorado.”
“Bitch,” Paisley said, laughing.
“So you said you forced him to date you? What does that even mean?”
“I think he wanted to keep it casual, but…” I bit my lip. I had signed an NDA about what I was doing with Max, but the whole point had been to protect her from being found out by Adrian, right? Christian hadn’t told me I was free to talk about it at work, but if I was going to be picking Max up after school every day, it was only a matter of time before people figured it out. “Okay, what I’m about to tell you can’t leave this room, got it?”
“There’s more?” Cassie breathed.
“The real reason Christian hired me wasn’t to be his executive assistant. It was to tutor Lance Stone’s daughter since he couldn’t let anyone find out he was taking care of her. But they found out, so the cat’s kind of out of the bag. I wanted to tell you guys, but he made me sign an NDA on my first day and said he’d ruin me if I violated it.”
They both stared for a few silent seconds.
“He has been keeping a kid up there in secret?” Paisley asked.
“Yeah. The board of directors has been looking for an excuse to get rid of him. He couldn’t afford to let them see he was getting distracted–let alone by taking care of his brother who he was supposed to have cut off contact with because of what he did to the company.”
Cassie raised her hands to her temples, fingers pinched. She moved them away from her head and suddenly spread her fingers, making an explosion noise. “Jesus, dude. I mean, I get you not telling us, but fuck. That’s like some CIA level stuff.”
Paisley snorted. “CIA?”
“I don’t know!” Cassie snapped. “But she’s fucking our boss and tutoring his niece because there’s some kind of conspiracy to get him removed from the company? It’s like you’re Jason Bourne. Jannette Bourne?” She tried, shaking her head. “Jessie Bourne!” Cassie did some mock karate moves in my direction, eyebrows drawn together.
I laughed. “Please. I’m nowhere near that cool. And I’m only telling you guys this because I screwed up and got caught with Max by the one guy Christian couldn’t afford to let find out. Now we only have a month before he goes to the board with the truth about Max and me.”
“Damn,” Paisley said. “So what are you guys going to do?”
“I don’t know. I’m hoping Christian has some kind of plan. But that’s why we finally decided to just start dating. And why I’m going to be taking Max after school every day to my apartment. Adrian already knows and plans to tell the board in a month. Why bother hiding it anymore, right?”
“You could poison him,” Cassie suggested. “A little cyanide in his coffee. Boom. Problem solved.”
“Lola isn’t going to poison anyone, Cassie. Jesus.”
Cassie shrugged. “We could ambush him and break his legs or something. Tell him we’ll come for his arms next if he doesn’t drop it.”
“The guy was huge,” I said. “I’m pretty sure even the three of us couldn’t take him–even if that wasn’t an insane idea,” I added when I saw Cassie opening her mouth to object.
She deflated. “All I’m saying is if he wants to play dirty, what’s so bad about playing dirty back?”
“Christian will think of something. It’s not like the guy is threatening to kill him, anyway. He’s threatening to get Christian kicked out of the company. I know this job is important to him, but I’m sure he’s good financially.”
“If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll realize he won the lottery by getting you,” Paisley said. “And he’ll find a way to fix all of this while keeping you happy.”
I smiled, feeling suddenly emotional. Cassie and Paisley both wrapped me in their arms and Paisley rubbed my back. “You’re going to be fine, girl. Seriously. That man of yours is a scary bastard. I feel sorry for this Adrian guy if he is trying to cross Mr. Stone.”
“Totally,” Cassie said. “And if you can get me either of his brother’s numbers, I’ll be your best friend for life.”
“Cass!” Paisley said, pulling out of the hug to swat at her again. “One of his brothers is in jail and the other one left the company because he chose his affair over his career.”
Cassie shrugged. “Jail isn’t a deal-breaker. He’ll probably come out of there with some awesome tattoos.”
I sighed. “Thank you, guys. Mostly,” I added, giving Cassie a sharp look.
It felt amazing to get all that off my chest. Keeping the truth from Cassie and Paisley had been a huge weight on me–maybe more than I’d realized. But I wasn’t out of the water yet. I’d been the worst best friend in the world to Kate, who I’d kept in the dark for almost a month now because I was too much of a coward to face what happened in New York.
I nearly dropped my coffee when the three of us opened the door and stepped out of the break room. Christian was standing there, imposingly as hell.
He had on a deep blue suit and a scarlet tie. He stood like a statue while every one of my co-workers looked like they were frantically pretending to work. Every head was bent, and every pair of hands was flying across the keyboard. I saw the newest intern walking back and forth, hands held up high and eyes wide like she didn’t know what to pretend to be doing. Finally, she pulled out her phone and clearly took a fake call, nodding her head furiously as she rushed out of view.
“Hi,” I breathed.
Christian shocked me by smiling. “I haven’t seen you two since Lola was sick. Were my people able to fix your mold problem, Cassie?”
Paisley looked like a deer in the headlights. Cassie seemed like she was trying to figure out if she could outrun Christian and sprint for the elevator.
“Yes,” Cassie choked out. “You remembered that?”
“I personally called to make sure they did a good job. Yes. And your car, Paisley?”
She nodded wordlessly, eyes still wide.
“Good. Is there anything else I can do for you two?”
I tilted my head at him. Was he trying to impress me by spoiling my friends? “I’m sure they both could use a raise. They’re the hardest workers I know.” Okay. That wasn’t strictly true. Cassie spent half her time looking up pseudo-science about workouts and quack diets. Paisley was always texting potential dates or watching videos on woodcarving–she had no interest in doing it herself, but said the videos were “so satisfying.”
