Tabloid Princess, page 26
“Everyone out!” I leapt from my chair. Sheer rage split what little remained of the area around my chest.
“Leia.” Nana leapt from the sofa.
“Mummy.” Daisy’s shock paused my storming pathway of destruction.
“It’s okay, sweetie. I’m going to get everything back to normal.”
“Leia, I don’t think this is right.” Molly tried to grab my arm.
“It’s the only way. The only way for me to protect Daisy.”
I pulled the small phone out of my bag, ignoring the thousands of messages that all came from the only contact on there. I dialled as I ran up the stairs.
From Daisy’s bedroom window I could see the press still crowding at the end of the street. Sharks eager for blood, they waited for a move like they were in a life and death game of chess.
The palace had spoken. Now they needed to hear it from the prince.
“Leia.” Relief rushed through his tone, but I hardened my heart against it. “My love, I am so sorry. Sorry I’m not there, sorry for all the shit they are saying.”
I held in a wild sob. “Oliver, you have to stop them. Tell them the Palace statement is true and that there is no romance.”
“Leia, don’t be silly. You’re overreacting.”
I walked to the corner of my room where I found the scrunched headline about Daisy. “They say Daisy will threaten the throne. That I’m going to destroy the monarchy.”
“They’re just headlines. Remember what I told you my father taught me. It’s just tomorrow’s fish and chip wrappings.”
“It’s not just that.” I fought deep within myself to find the reasons I could to end this. My soul fractured as I said, “You paid to see me. You paid to visit me, just like those men paid to visit my mother.”
“That is not what I did at all.” I held the phone away from my ear as his answer roared down the line.
I swallowed and steeled my heart. “That’s what it feels like to me. I won’t have Daisy ever made to feel the way I did.”
“Leia. I’ll be home tomorrow. Please, just wait until I’m there.”
I couldn’t contain my sob.
“Oliver. Please don’t come here again.”
“So, all of this has been for nothing? After all of this, you are going to call it a day over the phone?”
“It’s better this way. I should never have let it go on like this. I made a mistake.”
There was a long pause.
“No, Leia. I’m sorry. It’s me who’s made a terrible mistake.”
The phone went dead, and I fell to my knees.
The fairy tale was dead too.
Freya organised the removal of the security team. I don’t know what Oliver told her on the phone, but the extraction of the team was quick and painless. For them.
I’d always preferred the plaster approach. Why stop now?
“Look at this.” Later in the evening, Molly came and woke me from my stupor. I’d gone beyond pain and hurt. Everything now tingled with an almost comfortable numbness.
He said he’d made a mistake.
He’d finally seen me for what I was.
Molly handed me her phone and I blinked at it almost unseeing. Sky News again. Prince denies secret romance.
“Good.” I threw the phone across the sofa to her and then curled back onto my side.
The following day I got out of bed, showered, pulled on my jeans and took my girl to school. We walked, but we held our heads high. The press still gathered at the end of the street, but I refused to be defeated. The security guards were no longer there to stop me going out of the house and like a bull chasing a red flag I pushed my way through. “No comment,” seemed the best thing to say. I’m sure the pictures they took of my face would tell them all they needed to know.
Try as I might, I couldn’t hide the heartache inside.
I realised that all these years of protecting myself had been completely futile.
Love had still hurt when it finally came.
But I knew if I didn’t hide this would end. One day I’d be the long-forgotten commoner who had an unexplained photograph taken with the future king.
“Mummy, look.” Daisy pointed at the same newsagents we’d walked past hundreds of times on our way to school.
Stalking over, I grabbed the front one off the stand. Princess Leia, daughter of a prostitute and drug addict.
The print couldn’t have been any bigger. I stared at it, momentarily stumped while Daisy used her reading skills to sound out the words. “Dr-u-gg a-d-ict.”
Miss Evans would be so proud.
“Mummy, what’s a drug addict?”
I sighed and motioned for her to start walking at my side again. We couldn’t afford to stop; it was obvious we were being followed. I gripped her hand tight and squeezed hard.
“My mummy wasn’t always the best, Daisy. And I know I’m not either.” A bubble built in my chest, but I couldn’t let it pop. “It’s hard when you’re a mummy to make good choices.”
“That’s why you need a daddy to help. Like Daddy Pig in Peppa when he always gets them lost. Mummy Pig finds it funny.”
I nodded slowly. “You see, Daisy. When I was your age, I didn’t feel warm and safe in my bed at night. I thought there were monsters in cupboards and ghosts under the bed.”
“You know who could help that, Mummy?”
“Who’s that?”
“Oliver. He could use his pony and charge at them all.”
I puffed out my chest, remembering the fight I’d felt over six years ago when they wanted to take her away from me. “Don’t you see, Daisy? We don’t need it. You are my princess, and I will do whatever it takes to keep you happy.”
“Is Oliver not coming back to finish the castle?”
That ragged hole near my lungs scorched at the edges. “I don’t think so, sweetie. I bet he’d have liked to, but you know he’s very busy…”
“Being a prince,” she finished for me.
“Yeah.” I struggled to talk for a moment. “Come on, let’s get you to school.”
The school playground was packed, for obvious reasons. Hell, they didn’t have this level of turn out for the school summer fete.
I held in my shock that some of the mothers even had their phones out to film my arrival. I needed to remind myself very firmly that everything had ended. Next week they’d forget. If not next week, definitely within the next three years… hopefully.
Miss Evans waited by the door, her searching gaze sweeping across the playground. “Leia!” she called. I ignored the cameras and the stares as I guided Daisy over to the entrance. “Mummy, why is everyone pointing their phones at us?”
“Don’t worry, Daisy.”
Easy to say, harder to do.
I struggled to draw breath.
As soon as we stepped through the door and Miss Evans pulled me into a tight hug, my tears overflowed again. “I’m sorry.” I wiped at them.
I wanted to believe I cried for my daughter. For the things she just read in a headline. For the confusion she probably felt. But I knew I cried for myself; the aching chasm in my chest.
“Oh, darling. Come in, let’s get you to the staff room; no one will mind.”
I shook my head. “No, it will just make things worse if I see anyone.”
Her gaze held so many questions, but she didn’t say anything; she just took Daisy and held her close. “You’ve done the right thing bringing her in. Better to be here with her friends where we can keep her distracted.”
“Will you let me know if anyone says anything?”
“Leia. Don’t worry.”
“We walked this morning, and I thought I heard her coughing earlier.” I cast a critical gaze over Daisy.
“No problem, I’ll keep an eye on her. Listen, Leia.” She lowered her voice. “I know this is trying for you and I’m devastated for you, but please know we will always keep Daisy safe.”
I nodded my thanks, the lump in my throat preventing me from saying a word. I grabbed Daisy and gave her a tight squeeze. Taking a deep breath, I walked as fast as I could for the gate.
To my utter surprise, a taxi waited with its door open right by the gates. “Miss Lawrence.” A man gestured from the driver’s seat. “It’s Gordon Stevens, love. We met before.”
I almost stumbled into the cab. “What are you doing here?”
“My missus showed me the newspapers. I remembered you, I thought you might need some help.”
His words broke me down.
Putting my head in my hands, I sobbed like I hadn’t since I was fifteen years old and my world evaporated from around me.
I banged back into the house and threw my bag onto the sofa, heading towards the kitchen. Most of the neighbours had stood at their front doors to watch me pass.
Mrs A stopped me, standing from her weeding. “If you need anything, Leia. Just give me a shout.”
I didn’t stop to speak. I’d go for her flowerbeds another day when I didn’t have the whole world watching.
Gordon Stevens, my taxi driving saviour, had got his cab as close to the front door as he could and then waved me away when I went to look for my purse. His sympathetic glance and utter generosity had calmed me a little.
I’d made it to school and back. I could get through this. I knew I could.
“What the fuck?” I doubled over in shock at the person at my kitchen table.
Oliver turned, his back ramrod straight. His expression was as dark as clouds rolling with thunder. He wore ripped jeans and a hoodie and had trainers on his feet—travelling clothes.
“What are you doing here?” I gasped as I pulled myself together. “How did you even get in here?”
“The whole point of a private line is that both parties are meant to speak on it.”
“Yeah, well.” I actually had nothing to snap back with. “I doubted we had much left to say.”
I’d turned the burner phone off. It still sat in the wastepaper bin in the front room.
He pulled a bottle of water that didn’t come from my house across the table and unscrewed the top, taking a deep sip before he turned his eyes back to me.
“How long have you been back for? Why are you even here? You made your statement.” I desperately needed to break the silence, even though my words came out confused and muddled. My pulse raced, my legs weak.
He glanced at his watch. “Thirty-five minutes,” he answered one of my questions.
“Oh. You didn’t say why you are here.”
He launched from the chair and I jumped back in shock. “Leia, for God’s sake. Are you being for real now? You thought you could dump me on the phone and that would be it?”
“You thought you could keep secrets and for me to just accept it. I don’t think I’m in the wrong here, Oliver.”
His hand grabbed my arm, holding me tight. “If you think for one moment, I wouldn’t take steps to protect you, then I don’t think my intentions have been clear enough.”
“You paid people to keep quiet about me. You basically paid to visit me. I control my life, Oliver. That's how it is. I have to be like that for Daisy, so I can protect her. How can I protect her if I don't know what's happening in my own life?”
He slumped a little, his hand still on my arm. “I made a mistake, I know that. Jesus, Leia, it’s been driving me crazy for hours while I tried to get home.”
“You were quick enough to announce that the news wasn’t true.”
“Because you told me to.” He hesitated but then spat out the words. “And I was angry.”
I pulled away from him and slumped into a kitchen chair. My fight slowly dissipated, only for me to be left with a drained exhaustion pulling and aching at my limbs.
“Have you seen what they are saying about me, Oliver? That I’m a druggie gold digger. That Daisy is going to destroy the monarchy. Everyone knows my mother was a prostitute. Everyone. The mums at school, people I talk to at work.”
“They are just stories, Leia. And I know they hurt. I know they are cruel. But they are still just stories.”
“Some of them aren’t just stories though, are they? I left gossip behind me seven years ago. Do you know in the paper yesterday they had a picture of me as a child standing on the balcony of the flats where I grew up? Do you know, I haven’t a clue where that picture has come from? Who has it. Who has sold it.”
“I’m sorry.” He watched me; his burning gaze tortured. “I’m sorry if you regret meeting me. Everything about me brings destruction one way or the other. Maybe I’m not meant to be happy.”
“Oh please, don’t try and turn this around.” I snorted without humour.
“You don’t believe I’ve been genuine.”
“I think I’ve been foolish to think that this was anything other than a break from reality for either of us.”
He stared at me balefully. “So you are giving up? All of this; it’s been for nothing?”
“The papers will crucify you. Not just Daisy and me. They will challenge you forever because of your foolish choice to be with me. We could break-up in a few months’ time, our relationship having run its natural course, and the press will always vilify you for being the prince who chose to date a girl from a council estate. It’s too much. Too much for me and definitely too much for Daisy.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe this. I hate those bastards.”
“Oliver, it’s not just the press. I will never be an equal to you. You would never be able to introduce me to anyone and have them look at me as though I should be by your side. This was just a foolish error. The press will forget me eventually and we will both go back to our own lives.”
I wanted to scoop my tongue out with a spoon.
He reached for me, his familiar touch sliding around my face. “If you think for one moment, I’m going to forget you, then you are wrong. You gave me the first slice of normality I have ever experienced. And not because you aren’t a royal, or things are different with you, but because with you and Daisy I felt something I never expected. Leia, I’m in lo—”
He cut off at the sound of the phone ringing.
“Saved by the bell.” My laugh rang flat and lifeless. A deep frown scored into his face as he watched me get up and answer my own phone.
“Leia, you need to be careful. You don’t know who has your number.”
I waved him away though. The number was easily recognisable. I froze. My reaction made him sit up straighter.
“What is it?”
“It’s the school.” My fingers struggled to answer the damn thing. “Hi.” I said, trying not to sound like I was in the middle of an argument.
A sliver of ice crept into my veins as I listened to the receptionist in the school office.
“I’m on my way.” I almost screamed. My lungs tightened and tightened.
“Leia? What’s wrong?” Oliver stood from the table, knocking back his chair.
“It’s Daisy. She’s had a bad asthma attack. They’ve rushed her to hospital.”
He snapped into action without hesitation. “Where is she? The Whittington?”
“No.” I began to shake, my legs unable to hold my weight. “They’ve taken her to King’s; it’s really bad.”
He grabbed at his phone from his back pocket and pressed the screen. “We need a car, now,” he shouted into it.
I could barely hear over the static in my ears. “Leia?” He brushed at my hair, holding my gaze and I welcomed his touch as it soothed me in the moment. “We’ll be there.”
I screamed, so loud it tore through my lungs. His phone beeped and he pulled me towards the front door.
I was going to be too late. I was going to lose the only thing I’d ever wanted.
Twenty-Six
“Stay.” I didn’t even turn to look at him. I pushed at the door as soon as the car came to a halt outside the entrance to the hospital.
The catch in his voice paused my frantic actions. “Leia. Let me come with you.”
“No. This isn’t about you. This is about Daisy.”
I left him and ran for the doors. He’d got us through town in record time. His driver, once we’d passed the mob of reporters, took turns and corners I’d never have known. No taxi could have got me here so quick.
Daisy.
The tight panic banding around my chest made it impossible to breathe. I pushed against it, but it tightened with every gasp of air.
“Daisy Lawrence,” I shouted, crashing into the welcome desk of the emergency department. “She was blue-lighted in from Winterborn Primary. She’s had an asthma attack.”
The lady clicked her mouse and stared at her computer. I pulled at my hair, groaning so loud people started to stare.
“Please hurry.” I begged. I rested over the counter to try to balance myself, and the woman shifted back a little bit. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m not being rude, my legs are shaking.” I couldn’t hold myself up. The trembles in my thighs made it impossible. Her gaze focused on me a little, clarity coming with her recognition. My name whispered behind me Princess Leia. I just wanted Daisy. The moment stretched out like a bad horror movie until a hand grasped my elbow. The air shifted around me. My lungs exhaled a painful rush of air.
The prince stood in the reception of King’s Hospital. The silence that surrounded us only highlighted the wild banging in my head.
He moved me slightly so he could talk to the receptionist. “Daisy Lawrence. She is six and was bought in by your paramedics a short while ago. Where can we find her please? This is her mother.”
Everything happened in slow motion. A woman behind the glass barrier looked up. Her gaze landed on me first and then Oliver.
“Your Royal Highness.” She stepped up, smoothing her features. “Please come this way.”
He slid his arm around me, holding me up, and guided us towards where she indicated. She met us at a door to the side of the reception area. “The children’s emergency department is through here.” With quick steps she guided us through a door and down a corridor. I recognised it vaguely from my previous visit, but I’d never have found my way by myself.
We were escorted all the way to the next reception area. This one didn’t have glass barriers; instead Winnie the Pooh and Tigger bounced along the magnolia walls.
