Beneath a Starlit Sky, page 7
“Grandma told you, huh?” he asked, causally chuckling. Then he grabbed his ribs as a look of pain darted across his eyes.
“Please don’t overexert yourself! Yes, she told me…”
“So, my family kept me sheltered pretty much all my life, ever since I was diagnosed. A few months back when the doctors confirmed I would not have long to live, my family decided to let me live, so to speak.”
His words were going to be the death of me.
“Wait… what? What do you mean ‘not long to live’? Mrs. Neverly told me what happened to you wasn’t related to the cancer you have. Zach, what’s going on?” I didn’t want to hear anything else but knew that now was the time that he would be telling me everything he had kept from me for so long.
“She said that, did she?” he chuckled, but I wasn’t finding any of this funny.
“That’s something she wants to believe, but it is related. It’s always about my sickness.”
Brutal tears threatened to spill from my eyes. I didn’t know what to say and I was sure he saw and recognized the expression on my face.
“My family decided to let me enjoy this summer, knowing it would be my last one, and that no matter the amount of protection they would provide, this is something that none of us can run from. So, they let me live. And through you, I have. Through you I’ve lived the most fulfilling life I could have ever possibly imagined. Like a ray of sunshine, you are my light… Rae. That’s why that nickname was perfect, Braelynn, my pretty girl. You are my ray of light, my world… my life. You are the reason I was able to live this summer. You brought so much joy to me my last few months that I wouldn’t trade any of it for anything in this world.”
“So, when you’d leave everyday–”
“I’d go home to rest for a bit…” he added.
“And this is also why you never mentioned college…”
“I never got to go because, well, it would be pointless to start something I won’t be able to finish.”
I didn’t want to believe what he was telling me. Not long to live? He was dying? No. No. I couldn’t take that.
“It can’t be…” I whispered, shaking my head.
He just nodded for a moment.
“Grandma always tries to protect me and those she loves. I guess she didn’t want to hurt you. But it’s true. I’m dying, pretty girl, but I have lived a life so fulfilling that it’s the perfect way to go out.”
He was remaining calm, but still I could see the tears beginning to form in his eyes. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it so tightly, praying to God that this was just a brutal nightmare.
“No, Zach! No! Please… tell me this isn’t true! Tell me you’re staying with me! I can’t lose you!” I shouted, throwing my head onto his shoulder, bawling my eyes out.
“Shhh, it’s okay, pretty girl. Don’t cry, beautiful.”
He placed a soft hand on my head and began caressing me.
And from the corner of my eye, I saw Mrs. Neverly standing in the doorway with her head hanging low, crying right along with me.
Chapter 10
The next day passed like a blur.
* * *
Around seven in the morning, as Mrs. Neverly and I were consoling one another while Zach slept, we saw him take his last breath. He flatlined.
The doctors began throwing a bunch of terms our way that I just didn’t understand and couldn’t bring myself to figure out what they were trying to say. All I knew was that my dear, sweet Zach was gone and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to bring him back.
I felt my heart literally stop beating, my lungs stop breathing, and my brain stop functioning when I realized he was gone.
I don’t know how much time passed by or how long it took me to get home, but somehow, I managed to get there.
My parents had no idea about the summer romance that had blossomed between Zach and I, but when they saw me at the house as devastated as I was, I broke down on my mother’s lap, and let her know everything. My father watched from the doorway, heartbroken for his daughter’s very first heartbreak and loss of someone that was so special to her. Molly walked over and placed a hand on my back as I was still sobbing into my mother’s lap. She had no idea, nor could she understand what was going on, but her words meant so much to me.
“Sorry, Rae, Rae.”
The following Wednesday was Zach’s funeral.
* * *
I sat in the front row next to Mrs. Neverly, while Misty and my parents stood behind us to pay their respects. Everything since Zach’s death had been a blur. Minor details here and there completely skipped my mind. Saying goodbye that day was the hardest thing I had ever had to do.
The Friday after the funeral, I spent the whole day sitting in the sand, watching the waves. Memories of the summer I had just spent with Zach flowed through my mind; the tears were inevitable.
Around three that afternoon, Misty finally caught up with me.
“Hey, I’ve been looking for you all day. Have you been here the whole time?” Misty asked, taking her seat right next to me.
“Huh? Sorry, what’d you say?”
Shrugging, she said, “Nothing, it’s not important. How are you holding up?”
I shrugged and wiped a tear that had fallen onto my cheek.
She offered me a sad smile and said, “It’s going to be hard. The road ahead of you will be long. But you’ll get through it and one day, when you’re ready, you’ll love again.”
Her statement made me giggle for the first time in days. How could this girl sitting right beside me be just seventeen-years-old, yet, have so much wisdom beyond her years? I knew her words rang true. I had heard them a million times before in romance movies and read those same lines in my romance novels. And still, I didn’t want to believe them.
“How do you know that? I can’t picture myself ever falling in love again… just to possibly lose something so beautiful all over again and have it so easily taken away from me?”
She smiled at me.
“Because, Brae. People have been down this road before. It’s all over the novels you read, and all over the movies you watch. But I don’t have to tell you this. You know this. You know it’s true. It happens. You don’t think scriptwriters make all that stuff up, do you?”
“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging.
But I knew the truth and she was right. Hadn’t I just thought about that same exact things she was mentioning just mere seconds ago?
“Chin up, girlie. You gave him the best days of his life. That alone should be enough to make you smile.”
And for the first time since Zach’s death, I knew Misty had been absolutely right about that. He had told me pretty much the same thing the night before he passed, but I hadn’t listened, and it hadn’t dawned on me. Now, I saw things in a new light. She was completely right.
I gave her a small, grateful smile, “Thank you, Misty. I think, with time, I’m going to be alright. Things will be okay.”
“You got it, Brae.”
The following day, Mom, Dad, Molly and I loaded back into our SUV and headed out of Waverly and back toward New Jersey. I would be starting college the following Thursday.
* * *
As we pulled out of our driveway, we passed by Mrs. Neverly’s house where she sat with Sampson on her front porch. I waved to her and she waved back with a sad smile.
“Sapon!” Molly shouted, recognizing Mrs. Neverly’s Golden Retriever.
“That’s right, little sis,” I said, smiling at her. The wonder in her eyes never ceased to amaze me.
I kissed the top of her head, closed my eyes, and leaned my head onto the side of her car seat, quickly falling into the deepest slumber I’d had in the past couple of days.
Epilogue
I can’t say my life without Zach was easy.
* * *
I had to learn how to let go of someone who had meant the world to me. He had quickly become someone who I felt as though I couldn’t be without. I didn’t know how I would go on without him, but somehow, I managed.
And now, six years later, at the end of an excruciatingly humid summer, I find myself back on Waverly beach. I’m looking out towards the ocean while my little girl and her father build sand castles and fly kites.
A loud, barking, one hundred and fifty pound dog starts running toward me. His fur has almost turned completely white, but there is no denying who he is.
“Sampson!” I shout, as the hound runs up to me, licking me on the cheek. He is off his leash, which isn’t the norm for him, but a few feet back, Mrs. Neverly makes her way up to me as well.
“Mrs. Neverly!” I shout, running up to her, and wrap my arms around her. “How have you been?”
“Oh, I’m fine, fine. Just getting older here alongside Sampson.”
“Yeah, but you both still look good! It’s been so long. I’ve missed you both,” I admit.
“We’ve missed you, too, dear. How are your little sister and parents doing? Everyone alright?”
I nod. “Yeah, everyone’s good. Molly is now eight, and my parents are still doing fine.”
“You never came back with them after… that year,” she says, her face full of sorrow. I know exactly what year she is referring to, but I also know that it is probably still difficult for her to realize.
Nodding my head and placing my hand on my hips, I answer, “Yeah, once I started college, I tried to stay busy, working, and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.”
“Your parents told me you got married three years ago and you have a daughter?”
“Yeah, there they are,” I say, pointing to my two-year-old daughter, Violet, and my husband, Evan. I wave at him as I call out to Violet to come over.
“V! Come here, pretty girl!”
The nickname my love had given me so long ago would never die. I had found a way to keep it alive. Violet is my pretty girl and I can’t help but wonder if Zach had still been alive, would she have been our daughter? As much as I love and am thankful for my husband, I can’t stop these thoughts.
My toddler runs as fast as her little legs can carry her, and once she reaches us, she throws herself right at Mrs. Neverly. She bends down to pick up my daughter.
“Oh my! Isn’t she just the most precious little doll you could ever lay your eyes on! Hello there, sweet Violet.”
Obviously, Mrs. Neverly has been wondering the same thing about Violet. She doesn’t have to say as much; it is just obvious.
“Hello!” Violet exclaims, full of glee.
“Thank you, Mrs. Neverly,” I reply.
Evan walks back up to us as he and Mrs. Neverly exchange introductions. After a few minutes, she hands Violet back to him, and he makes his way towards our car. We have to head back home to Jersey tonight.
Once we are alone again, she says, “I’m so glad to see you happy and doing well.”
It is bittersweet, but I know Mrs. Neverly always means well.
I look at her and confess. She alone understands my loss and pain. “I still think about him… I’m not going to lie. I love my little family, and my husband is amazing. He takes care of me and our little girl, and goes above and beyond, but I don’t know. Sometimes I think about how differently my life would have turned out had Zach still been here.”
She nods her head. “What you and Zachery shared was special. You both truly loved one another. You can always love Zach as well as your husband and that’s okay. What you and Zach shared is something that will remain with you for always. Some loves stay within our hearts way past their time and I’m afraid you can never replace that love.”
As I am about to turn around and make my way towards my family, I say, “Hey, Mrs. Neverly. I saw the ice cream shop when we entered town, Z & R’s.” Without even asking her what those initials stand for, I already know; it’s what Zach would have wanted.
She smiles lovingly. “It was a dream of his to reopen his grandfather’s shop one day. Unfortunately, life had other plans for him. I had to do it.”
Her eyes are full of tears and I’m suddenly standing there on the brink of my own waterworks.
Suddenly thinking back to what she had said about my love for Zach, I ask, “Mrs. Neverly? How do you know so much about the loss of a love like ours?”
I know she had lost her husband years ago, and I know that somehow she understands about a love lost way before its time.
“Because,” Mrs. Neverly states, “George wasn’t my first love. I had a fiancé before him whom I lost in a car accident. What we had was much like what you and my dear Zachery shared. I recognized it right away. This is how I know that even now you miss Zach and he will forever remain in your heart. But I also know that you and Evan will be able to live happily together for the rest of your lives.”
Those words have so much truth in them. Mrs. Neverly had been through what I had been through.
I know I’ll love Zach for the rest of my days, but I also know that what I now have with my husband is just as special and enough to get me through this lifetime.
* * *
The End
Thank You
Thank you so much for taking the time to read Beneath a Starlit Sky!
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Thank you!
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♡
Bella
Without You
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Copyright
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2019 Bella Emy
Cover © Bella Emy
Part I
Chapter 1
July Through September
“Promise me, if I don’t return, you’ll move on. Promise me!”
“What?” I searched his eyes, looking for something, anything that would give me some kind of sign. I didn’t want him to go. My heart couldn’t take it.
“You can’t wait for me forever, Hailey… If something happens to me and I don’t make it back, promise me you’ll live your life, move on, and find the happiness you deserve. I want you to be happy, even if it doesn’t include me.”
“Don’t talk like that, Luke! I could never love anyone else. Our story isn’t over yet; we haven’t gotten our happily ever after!” I begged. “It can’t all end here! This can’t be the end, it can’t! Please, don’t say things like that.”
And just like that, the sound of the loud, blaring alarm rang out; our time had come to an end. My heart broke in a million pieces knowing he’d be leaving me.
“I’ll always love you, no matter what, baby, but that’s my call. I’ve got to go…” Tears began welling up in his eyes, matching mine.
He grabbed me and kissed me one last time before he had to board the plane.
The steady flow of tears started before we’d even reached the base. They were taking my world away from me, and I didn’t know how I would ever make it through without him.
Luke wiped my tears for the last time, offering me a sad smile. His eyes were now spilling tears onto his cheeks as well.
“I’ll write to you… I love you, Hailey Bear,” he said, placing a white gold necklace with a diamond-shaped locket hanging from it around my neck.
“What’s this?” I asked, my fingers finding the beautiful piece of jewelry.
“A reminder that I am always with you, next to your heart, baby.”
He kissed me one last time, saying, “Goodbye, Hailey Bear,” and turned around, disappearing into the crowd of soldiers.
That was the last time I ever spoke to him. That was the last time I ever saw him.
The first few days without Luke were pure and utter torture. I’d walk around aimlessly, not knowing what to do with myself. My mother suggested I call some of my friends and get out of the house, but all I wanted to do was lock myself away in my room and block out the world.
The terrorist attack at the G8 annual gathering of nations in the United Kingdom left a nightmare in its wake. Innocent lives and families were torn apart, and for what reason? It made no sense to me. The explosion took the lives of so many innocent people; it just wasn’t fair.
Another thing that wasn’t fair were all those men and women getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan if needed to respond to the attacks of terror. My sweet Luke was risking his life, and here I sat, back home in my small town of Helmington, Michigan, worrying and waiting for any word from him or his team.
Every morning when I awoke, I’d turn on my laptop, trying to find anything I could in the headlines, and prayed to God that no U.S. troops had been harmed. Luke had only been gone two weeks, but it felt like a lifetime. Time was simply dragging, and I missed him with my whole heart.
