The Stardust in the Ashes, page 21
Mara nods, diving back into her explanations. I only half listen, my thoughts focused on seeing Astra, but Bram absorbs Mara’s every word. When we’ve finally finished, Mara guides us to a corner near her own tent where we can set up our camp. After our tents are erect, Mara leads Bram off to introduce him to the other refugees. With a smile, I write a quick note and summon Felixe. I’ve felt him nearby the entire time, even if he was keeping himself invisible.
“You know, you don’t have to hide,” I say to him as he shimmers into view. He gives me an argumentative bark and I laugh. “Fine. Have it your way. Can you take this to Astra?”
Felixe cocks his head, blinking up at me. He yips and takes the note from my extended hand. He spins a few times before disappearing. Now I just have to wait, and I’m strangely nervous.
Chapter Nineteen
ASTRA
The day starts off in the normal pattern of monotony. I wake next to Kai, the dream with Ehren at the back of my mind. After I dress, I swing by the kitchen and chat with Cook as I enjoy my breakfast before meeting up with Ronan in the come-and-go room. The morning air is brisk and biting as we make our rounds refreshing the wards.
“I see you remembered your cloak this morning,” Ronan observes as we approach the third ward stone.
I nod, pulling the cloak tighter around me in an attempt to block out the wind. “I learned my lesson yesterday.”
Ronan nods, studying me carefully. “You seem distracted.”
I shake my head as I lean down, placing my hand on the third stone. “I’m trying to figure out the next steps.”
Ronan squats down next to me, placing his hand next to mine. We quickly reinforce the spell and stand, walking toward the next stone.
“What steps are you wanting to figure out? Maybe I can help.”
I sigh and shake my head. “That’s the problem. I’m not even sure. I know I need to find a way to contact the Fae, but beyond that, I don’t know. I feel so useless.”
Ronan furrows his brow. “I don’t think you’re useless, if it’s any consolation. Sometimes I think we put too much weight on being useful.”
I scowl and glance up at Ronan. “What do you mean?”
“Well,” Ronan replies, knocking a stone out of our path with his cane. “I think people feel that in order to be useful they have to do these big, grand things—take down armies, win wars, make treaties—but those things aren’t all that’s important. Sometimes it’s the little things, the movements behind the scenes, that hold everything together. Small sacrifices and hidden moments can have just as much impact as the grand gestures that everyone sees.”
I nod, but I can tell Ronan isn’t entirely convinced I’ve accepted his words.
“Take Cook for example.”
“What about Cook?”
“Can you imagine running everything without her?”
I shake my head. “No, I can’t.”
Ronan’s head bobs in agreement. “And how many times have you seen her outside her kitchen?”
I frown, thinking hard, but shrug after a moment. “I don’t know. Not often if at all.”
Ronan grins and I understand his point. I smile and shake my head at him.
“Just because you’re the holding down the fort here doesn’t mean you can’t still be incredibly useful. You’re the glue holding all this together, you know.”
I’m prepared to argue, but I set it aside as we reach the fourth stone. Once the magic is secure we resume our walk, but Ronan immediately switches the conversation to talking about his home. I know he does it to keep my mind distracted, and I appreciate it.
Once we’ve finished our rounds, I head directly to the library. Ronan fetches more books from his collection and joins me. Ronan’s texts have much more information regarding magic than the books in the palace library, but so far we still haven’t found anything about how to contact the Fae. When Kai brings lunch, it’s a welcome break.
After lunch, I encourage Ronan to go with Kai and join the hunting party going out to restock our meat supply. I can tell he’s feeling a little restless in the library and he practically lights up at the promise of fresh air. As much as I’ve enjoyed his company the past few days, I do enjoy the quiet of the library. Plus, I don’t have to worry about him judging me when I throw a book in frustration when it refuses to yield any information.
I opt to once again hide away from the dining hall in favor of a quiet dinner in the library. Kai joins me, procuring us plates of food, but Ronan seems to have integrated into the dining hall crowd already. Kai and I are in the middle of dinner when Felixe appears.
“Hey, boy!” I greet him, scratching his ears as he drops a note onto the table.
Kai scowls down at the paper. “Is it good that he’s writing again so soon?”
I shrug, lifting the paper from the table. “It did seem as if they might be close last time to finding the camp, so maybe they found it after all.”
Kai nods but, despite my words, my stomach still swirls with nerves.
My Most Beloved Astra,
I have news, but I must share it in person. No exceptions.
Forever Yours,
Alak
P.S. You’ll probably be gone all night so let your guard wolf know.
I frown, reading the note twice before passing it to Kai.
“I am not a guard wolf,” he growls.
I laugh. “You are a bit, you know.”
Kai passes the note back to me. “Do you really think he has something to say that absolutely can’t be said in a note?”
“I don’t know why he would lie.”
Actually, the truth is I don’t even care. I’m happy for the excuse to see him.
“Should I come with you in case it’s a trap?”
I shake my head. “No, I need you to stay here.”
Kai sighs and shakes his head. “Please, be careful.”
I place a hand on Kai’s arm. “I will.” A thought occurs me to and I add, “Can you have Ronan meet me by the wards? We need to make sure they’re reinforced before I leave.”
Kai nods, standing. “Sure.”
Once Kai is gone I jot a quick note to Alak to let him know I’m coming shortly before I head outside. My stomach twists in nervous, excited circles, and by the time Ronan arrives I feel like I’m glowing.
“So, you’re off to a secret rendezvous?” Ronan teases, waggling his eyebrows.
“How secret can it be if you know?” I laugh.
Ronan shrugs, a wide grin on his face. “Not everyone knows. I’m one of the privileged few.”
I laugh again, my heart feeling light for the first time in days. “I’m sure. Don’t worry, though, I’ll be back in time to strengthen the wards tomorrow morning.”
“Don’t feel like you have to rush. Warding magic is my specialty and, while your magic does help strengthen the barrier, I can pour a little extra into the wards if needed.”
I smile. “Thank you. I appreciate it, but I really will try not to leave you hanging any more than necessary.”
I’m not entirely sure if it’s the cold night air or the anticipation of seeing Alak, but we seem to walk much quicker than normal. Ronan brushes a quick kiss on my cheek before he heads inside, wishing me luck. I take a deep breath and call for Felixe. I know I can follow the bond on my own, but Felixe makes it a little easier. I close my eyes and follow the bond, diving into the wisp. When I open my eyes I’m in a dark tent, lit only by a flickering lantern. I barely have time to register Alak before I’m swept into his arms, his lips pressing against mine.
“Gods, love,” he whispers, pulling back as he runs his fingers though my hair, his other hand pressing against my back. “I missed you so much.”
I lean into another eager kiss, all thoughts beyond being with Alak flee my mind. After a moment he draws back, one arm dropping to his side as he rakes his other hand through his hair, glancing toward the tent opening.
“As much as I want to continue this, there is a real reason I wanted you here.”
I frown. “Is there trouble?”
His eyes meet mine as he smiles, making my heart skip a beat. “Not at all, love.”
I step up against him, brushing his lips quickly with mine. “Can it wait?”
Alak groans and shakes his head. “Probably not.” I sigh and step back, but Alak grins. “But, whatever you have in mind we can definitely follow up on later.”
I laugh. “I plan to.”
“Well, love, let me show you the refugee camp,” Alak says, offering me his arm.
My eyes widen as I accept his arm. “So you did find it?”
“Aye, love, but there’s more. Just wait.”
Alak leads me outside and I stare around in awe. I was expecting a small camp but this as large as a town. Tents and bonfires are scattered all around.
“This is—”
I drop off as a familiar voice cuts across the night air. I follow the sound to where Bram sits talking with a girl. His eyes are bright and he’s smiling as the girl chatters. My breath catches in my throat as I stumble forward.
“Mara?”
The girl turns, her eyes going wide as soon as she sees me. She jumps to her feet, her eyes bright. I stare in disbelief, trying to make sense of the picture in front of me. This girl is a ghost of the Mara I’ve known my entire life. She’s far too thin, her simple dress too large for her frame. Her hair has lost its full luster. But somehow she’s still the same. Even her current circumstances haven’t taken away the life from her eyes. I run toward her, and her toward me, clashing midway in a crushing hug.
“You’re really here!” Mara marvels, drawing back, her eyes searching my face. “When he said he could bring you, I wasn’t sure I believed him, but here you are.”
“Here I am,” I grin. “But what are you doing here?”
“Mara is running the refugee camp,” Bram answers from where he’s still seated on the ground next to the bonfire.
I look back at Mara in awe but she shakes her head, waving Bram off.
“I’m not really in charge. I just help to organize things,” Mara says dismissively. “I’ll tell you all about it. Would you rather stay here next to the fire, or I can show you my tent? I have tea.”
I glance toward Alak, feeling a little guilty. It’s the first time I’ve seen him in days and I don’t really relish being away from him. He smiles gently and offers an encouraging nod.
“Go on, love. It’s why I told you to come.” He pauses, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “We’ll have the rest of the night.”
I blush slightly, shaking my head at him, but I can’t hide my smile.
“Bram wasn’t kidding, was he?” Mara laughs. I shoot her a curious look but she only grins, linking her arm with mine. “Never mind that. Let’s have tea.”
Mara’s tent is small but cozy and so very Mara. Somehow, she’s managed to make a little home in the middle the forest. I settle on a pillow as she lights a lantern and fetches a cup of tea in a little cracked teacup.
“So,” Mara says, taking a sip of her tea, “tell me what you’ve been up to since your last letter.”
Guilt swarms me again and I stare down into my teacup. “I suppose I really should have written you again.”
“You know, I really don’t expect my friends who are on the run for their lives to keep up correspondence,” Mara teases with a gentle smile.
I force a smile and take a sip of tea. “Well, I’m not sure where to start. So much has happened. Why don’t you tell me how you ended up here.”
“Well, I suppose that’s interesting enough. As I mentioned in my letter, soldiers came to Timberborn not too long after you left. They sowed seeds of dissension, and it didn’t take long for everything to start falling apart. Pretty much anyone with magic was hiding it. Pax and his sister both ended up showing signs of magic.”
“Pax?”
Mara nods, taking a sip of tea. “Yep. And plenty of others. Not me, though, but I wanted to help. We started by getting those with obvious magic out of Timberborn, but news spread and we found ourselves helping people from other villages escape their pursuers. Pretty soon, it got to be too much for us to do publicly, so we set up camp here. One of the refugees we met was able to make magical trails that could help others with magic find us. The more people that showed up, the more Pax realized the potential for an army with both magical and non-magical soldiers, so he began recruiting.”
“So, Pax is the one building the army?”
“One of the people, anyway,” Mara confirms. “Once the king and Embervein fell, we started having more and more refugees without magic so we had to leave additional clues. As the camp grew, Pax moved the soldiers to a nearby pass. I help to organize everyone here and Pax returns every weekend for the soldiers.”
I study Mara for a moment before asking, “So, are you and Pax . . . ?”
Mara blushes, staring intently into her tea. “No. We’ve only ever been just good friends. I don’t think he’s ever quite gotten over Kato.”
My eyes widen. “Pax and Kato? What do you mean?”
Mara tilts her head, eyeing me curiously. “You never . . . You mean to tell me you had no idea that Pax and Kato were together at one point?”
I shake my head, trying to wrap my head around her words. “When?”
Mara chuckles. “When we were sixteen, I think it was. They were all over each other for nearly three months. You really didn’t know?”
I pause, pulling up memories. In retrospect it suddenly seems quite obvious. The way Kato was always laughing and sneaking away. The extra bounce he had in his step. The looks he and Pax would exchange. The way they practically glowed in each other’s presence.
“I know they seemed closer but I never guessed it was more than friendship,” I mumble, shaking my head.
“I guess they hid it better than I thought.”
A smile twitches at the corner of my mouth before fading away, my heart clenching. What I wouldn’t give to get that carefree Kato back.
Mara senses the shift in my mood and clears her throat. “I suspect you don’t really want to dwell on your brother’s romantic activities.” She offers me a tight grin. “Enough about the past. What are you up to now? I know you’re no longer engaged. What happened there?”
Red rises in my cheeks as I grin. “Alak happened.”
“Bram said you’re soul-bonded?”
I nod. “Yes. It’s a bit complicated, but it’s so much more than the the soul bond.”
“But he makes you happy?” Mara asks, a gentle smile on her lips. “Because in the end that’s all that matters.”
“Happiness doesn’t even begin to describe how he makes me feel.”
Mara grins. “I’m glad. Now, tell me everything else that has happened. Spare no details.”
I grin and dive into my own story. I start with fleeing Embervein and work my way up to the present. Mara mostly listens without interruption, nodding and smiling. When I talk about Kato leaving, she wraps an arm around my shoulders as I cry. When I finish Mara places her hand on mine.
“I know everything is all over the place for you,” she says, meeting my eyes with a soft smile. “But you’re really incredible.”
I shake my head and glance away. “I don’t know about that. I know I have this raw magic and power, but it seems like everything still falls apart. My magic can only take me so far.”
“You’ve always been one of the strongest people I know, and I’m confident you’ll make it through this.”
“I’m so tired of being strong,” I confess.
Her gaze softens and she pulls me into a hug. “I know,” she whispers against my hair. “But you don’t have to be strong alone.” She draws back. “You’ll always have me, even if I’m not right by your side. And from everything you’ve told me, it seems like you have more support in Bram, Alak, Prince Ehren, Kai, Ronan, and dozens of others.”
I look back up at her and smile, tears brimming my eyes. “Thank you, Mara. You’re right. Gods, I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed you. Do you think you would consider coming back with me to the Summer Palace?”
Mara smiles but shakes her head. “No, not right now. Maybe once things start to settle, but right now, my place is here.”
I nod. “I understand. You’ve really done something amazing here, you know?” She opens her mouth but I wave my hand, silencing her. “I know you said you have help, but you’re at the front of this, Mara. Without you, many of these people wouldn’t have a place. You gave them a home.”
Mara’s eyes are as bright as her smile as she leans over and hugs me. “Thank you, Astra. It’s been so good to see you and catch up, but I know you have someone else longing for your attention tonight.”
I smile and duck my head, red rising in my cheeks. Mara laughs, standing, and I stand with her.
“Come. I’ll show you where they set up camp.”
I nod and follow her outside. I can sense the trail to Alak, but I let Mara lead me anyway. The camp is mostly quiet now, many of the bonfires dying to embers. When we stop outside the tent, Mara gives me one last parting hug before heading back to her own tent. I take a fortifying breath and duck inside. Alak is stretched out on a bedroll, playing with a deck of cards by lantern light. He looks up at me and grins.
“Hello, love.”
His low voice sends shivers down my spine as I sink down next to him. I waste no time and immediately lean in and press my lips against his. He tosses the cards to the side and wraps me in his arms, his lips sliding to my neck. A moan escapes and he shifts closer.
“Hold on,” I whisper, pulling back and waving my hand to set up a silencing spell.
Alak arches an eyebrow. “I’d ask where you learned that but I feel I know.”
I shrug with a grin. “Ronan did one once and I copied it.”
“You really are brilliant, love.” Alak chuckles. “And to think, I used to believe I could teach you magic.”
I smile, tracing my finger along one of the scars on his face. “You taught me much more than you realize.”
He smiles and reaches up, taking my hand in his and moving my fingers down to his lips for a tender kiss.
