Falling for Her Forbidden Flatmate, page 13
‘Couple of years now.’
‘What made you choose Picton?’
‘Job came up. I needed a change.’
Jock hid a smile. He’d asked the same question himself and got exactly the same answer. Dan might be taciturn but he was consistent. Trustworthy. It was a shame there was no spark there between him and Grace. She wasn’t even joining in the conversation at the moment because she was watching Mandy and Stefano dancing together. As if she felt Jock’s gaze, however, Grace turned and there was no mistaking the invitation that lit up her eyes. She wanted to dance too.
It was more than an invitation. Maybe it was more than simply wanting to dance. It looked like...longing...
He could feel it himself. He wanted to hold Grace in his arms and feel her body close to his own. He wanted it so much, in fact, that he knew how dangerous it would be to respond to that invitation.
Worse...he didn’t care. He wanted to respond. He needed to...?
Maybe it was fortunate that his phone rang to break the moment.
‘Sorry... I’ll have to get that. I’m second on call.’ Jock got up from the table to take the call from the hospital, but he came back a short time later.
‘I have to go in,’ he said. ‘We’ve got a seven months’ pregnant woman who’s come in via ambulance after a car accident. She’s at risk of a placental abruption.’
‘Someone local?’ Grace was getting to her feet.
‘Yes.’ Jock lowered his voice. ‘A Maureen Petersen—do you know her?’
‘She’s one of my mums.’ Grace looked horrified. ‘I should come with you.’ She bit her lip, turning back to Jenni. ‘This is important,’ she said quietly. ‘I know how much this pregnancy means to her.’
‘Go,’ Jenni said instantly. ‘Don’t worry about me. We can catch up later at the cocktail bar.’
‘It might take a while,’ Jock warned.
‘I can find my way home in that case. I’ll see you both tomorrow morning, anyway, before I get the train back to Christchurch.’
‘Sorry, Jen.’
Jock was sorry to leave his sister on the last night of her visit but he couldn’t stay. He couldn’t suggest that Grace stayed either. He could see exactly how worried she was for Maureen. She looked like she had that day she’d followed Stella when she’d run away from that first antenatal appointment. And that time when she’d been such a part of the shared grief for that tiny stillborn baby, Luna. Grace cared deeply about every mother and baby she had in her care and he couldn’t leave her here, not knowing what was happening.
Because he cared about her as well.
Dan must have picked up on the dilemma. ‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘I’ll look after Jenni. Go. You’re needed—both of you.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘GRACE... I’M SO glad you’re here. But how did you know I’d had an accident?’
‘I was just lucky to be in the right place at the right time, Maureen.’
With Jock...
Grace had a feeling that being with Jock might always feel like she was in the right place at the right time. She had thrown a gown over her dress as they’d arrived in Picton Hospital’s emergency department and then followed Jock straight to the resuscitation area, where Maureen was lying on the bed, clearly distraught.
She could hear Jock talking to the consultant on duty in Emergency behind her as a technician was positioning an ultrasound machine near the head of the bed.
‘Is the speed of the vehicle known?’
‘Ambulance crew said it was a low impact, single vehicle crash but the driver’s front airbag deployed for some reason. There’s a mild abrasion on her face.’
‘Was she wearing a seatbelt?’
‘Yes. And there’s a mark on her shoulder but the belly’s clear.’
‘Any PV blood loss?’
‘No.’
‘Abdo pain?’
‘Yes. She’s complaining of abdominal discomfort.’
Maureen was terrified. ‘Something like this can start labour, can’t it?’ she asked Grace, her voice shaking. ‘Or make the placenta come away?’
‘You’re not bleeding,’ Grace said. ‘That’s a good sign. Jock’s going to have a look with the ultrasound now. He’ll be able to see if there’s any injury to the baby or hidden bleeding from any damage to the placenta. It doesn’t sound like you were going very fast.’
‘I wasn’t. I was getting home after being out for dinner. My shoe slipped on the brake and I hit the accelerator by mistake. I drove straight into my brick fence.’ Maureen pressed her hands to her face. ‘I can’t believe this has happened...’
‘Hi, Maureen.’ Jock was by the bedside now. He touched her arm in a gesture of both greeting and an understanding of how frightened she was. ‘Take a deep breath for me, hold Grace’s hand and try and slow your breathing down a little if you can. We’ll see if we can find out exactly what’s going on. Can I have a feel of your tummy before we do the ultrasound? Is it still sore?’
‘It just feels...weird. Kind of tight.’
‘Have you felt baby moving since the accident?’
‘No...’ Maureen was crying again. ‘I’ve been so careful when I’m driving ever since I got pregnant. I knew to put my seat back and tilt the steering wheel up. I make sure I put the lap belt under my bump and the other one between my breasts.’
‘This’ll be a bit cold.’ Jock squeezed gel onto Maureen’s belly as he finished palpating her abdomen. He picked up the transducer and within seconds they could all hear the reassuring sound of the baby’s steady, rapid heartbeat.
‘There you go...’ Grace squeezed Maureen’s hand. ‘That’s exactly what we want to hear.’
Jock was focused on the screen and Grace watched as he had a quick look for anything major happening to the placenta, which was the main risk to Maureen’s baby at present. Then he examined the unborn baby from head to toe for any visible injuries like fractured bones. She could feel the tension in Maureen’s body. Maybe that was contributing to why her abdomen felt so tight?
‘Deep breath,’ she whispered. ‘I know it’s hard, but it’s better for both you and baby if you can relax a little.’ Maureen’s own heart rate was too fast and her breathing still rapid and shallow, which was pushing her blood pressure higher than normal.
‘But what if I go into labour? It’s too soon.’
‘There’s nothing to suggest you will go into labour yet,’ Grace said. ‘But you’re almost thirty weeks. Ninety-eight percent of babies born at thirty weeks survive.’
‘Really?’
Grace smiled as she nodded but she gave Maureen’s hand another squeeze. She totally understood how stressful this was. She could remember all too well what it was like to be wanting her baby to be safe and healthy. To be looking forward so much to its birth.
She could feel it so strongly, in fact, that it was doing something strange to her own body. Or her heart?
Something almost shocking was happening to her. Something that, only a matter of weeks ago, Grace would never have believed could ever happen again. She was feeling the longing to have a baby of her own tucked into her belly, beneath her heart. To be dreaming of what life would be like when it was born and her life changed for ever because she was a mother. She could feel the love she would have for that baby and child.
Jock was smiling at Maureen now. ‘There’s no sign of any injury to your baby,’ he said. ‘I’m just going to have a really good look at the placenta now, okay?’
Maureen just nodded, too emotional to speak. They both watched as he located the placenta.
‘I’m looking for even a tiny tear now, where it could be coming away from the uterine wall,’ he explained. ‘And any blood that might be hiding between the placenta and the wall, which would mean it wasn’t visible as external loss and... I can’t see anything.’ He smiled again. ‘So far, so good, but we’re going to monitor you for a while. Grace will put on the CTG machine and that way we’ll know if you start getting any contractions and we’ll also be able to listen to the heart rate continuously.’
Maureen nodded again. ‘How long for?’
‘At least six hours,’ Jock said. ‘But we’re not going to send you home until we’re quite sure nothing’s going to happen.’
‘But what if it does?’ Maureen looked as if she was holding her breath.
‘Then we’ll manage it,’ Jock said calmly. ‘If there’s a risk that you’re going into premature labour, we can try and slow things down and give you medications to help the baby’s lung development. If we can’t stop it or there’s any danger to the baby and it’s going to be safer to be born, then we’ll manage that too.’
‘I’ll stay with you,’ Grace added. She caught Maureen’s gaze as she wiped the gel off her skin. ‘We’ve got this...’
The words were as much for herself as for Maureen. Her own emotional reaction to this situation was something to put aside and think about later.
Maureen’s return smile was wobbly but it was there. She saw her gaze slide sideways to watch Jock as he was scribbling notes on her chart and Grace could see her finally trying to slow her breathing as Jock had advised. She was beginning to let go of at least some of her fear.
Grace could understand why. Jock had an amazing ability to demonstrate a combination of confidence and caring that would make anybody trust him completely, even with something as precious as a longed-for baby. She had seen it time and again now, with Stella and Jodie and Tessa amongst others.
She was proud of him for being so good at his job.
Grace wanted him to be proud of the way she did her job too. She placed the flat, round transducers of the cardiotocography machine on Maureen’s belly, one above the foetal heart to monitor the rate and stability of the baby’s heartbeat and another one at the top of the uterus to pick up any contractions that might be happening, including light ones like Braxton Hicks, explaining what she was doing and making Maureen as comfortable as possible.
When she took another set of vital signs, Maureen’s heart rate and breathing were slower and she was smiling as she listened to the steady tick of her baby’s heart.
‘I could listen to that all night,’ she said.
‘That’s probably just what we will be doing,’ Grace said. ‘But I’m hoping you’ll get some sleep as well.’
‘That sounds like a good plan.’ Jock looked over Grace’s shoulder as she wrote down her vital sign recordings. ‘Try and rest, Maureen. I imagine they’ll move you somewhere a bit quieter than in here, but you’ll be quite safe with Grace here looking after you and I’ll be hanging around for a while myself.’
Grace turned her head just enough to catch his gaze and they shared a smile. She turned back to hang the chart on the end of the bed, but she was thinking that it was Jock’s care as much as the comfort of hearing the baby’s heartbeat that was helping Maureen feel so much calmer. The smile on her face as she listened to Jock suggested that she knew how lucky she was to have him as her obstetrician.
Grace was even luckier because she knew was it was like to have this man as a friend. She knew what it felt like to have given this man a level of trust that she knew had changed her life for the better. A level of trust that was a form of love.
Yeah... The more she got to know Jock, the more she was coming to love him.
She loved who he was as a person and as a friend as much as how skilled and compassionate he was as a doctor.
Grace could feel herself relaxing and, as she mirrored Maureen by taking a deep breath herself and letting it out slowly, she gradually became aware of something else.
Something huge that must have been hiding in plain sight all along.
Something as shocking as realising that she could—did?—still want to have her own baby.
The love she was feeling for Jock wasn’t simply the result of a close friendship. She was in love with him.
Oh, dear Lord...
When had that happened?
That night she’d overreacted to the touch of his hand on her shoulder and had smashed that plate on the kitchen floor? When he’d told her that she would always be safe with him?
Or was it when he’d apparently broken through the tangled self-protective barriers that had been holding her bound too tightly to be properly alive—when he’d offered to push her off the boat?
When he’d held her in his arms to let her cry...
No... Grace suspected it had been when he’d been floating beside her in that icy, clear water. Holding her hand like an otter, so that she wouldn’t float away...
Not that it mattered.
It had happened. And it was never going to change.
Grace was in love with Jock.
And it wasn’t just a baby she could feel herself longing for.
It was Jock’s baby.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
THERE WAS SOMETHING different about Grace tonight.
Was it because this was the first time they’d both responded to an after-hours call and gone into the hospital at this time of night?
Was it because he knew she had a pretty new dress on underneath that gown?
Or was it a remnant of how he’d been feeling earlier this evening—that disturbing awareness of how much he’d wanted to dance with Grace? The feeling that he was missing her even though she was right there...
While Grace went with Maureen as they shifted her into a quiet room on the maternity ward to monitor her for at least the rest of the night, Jock went to find a coffee and send Jenni a text.
Will be here for a while yet. You okay?
A response pinged back quickly. It was a photograph of a very fancy-looking cocktail in a martini glass that had a rim crusted with sugar or salt and tiny flowers floating on the top. Another one came in a moment later, of Dan looking as though the last thing he wanted was to have his photograph taken, and was followed by a happy face emoji.
Jock sent back a ‘thumbs up’ one.
I’ll try not to wake you up when I get home. See you in the morning in time to get to the train station. Have fun.
And then he sent another one with a winking face.
Not too much fun...
He couldn’t blame his sister for not responding to that one, but in the time he stared at the blank screen Jock found himself thinking about Grace.
Or, rather, he was seeing her—as clearly as if she was in the same space he was in.
Seeing the way she’d been looking at him earlier tonight, when it seemed obvious she was hoping he’d ask her to dance with him.
Seeing the way she’d smiled at him when they’d both been offering Maureen their care and reassurance. The kind of smile that acknowledged their shared professional anxiety for the woman who was so afraid of losing what could be her only chance of becoming a mother and their joint determination to keep both mother and baby safe.
But had there been more to that smile? Something far more personal?
Aye...that was it. There had been something different about that smile. Or the look in Grace’s eyes. Or the alchemy of the combination.
Something that had touched Jock somewhere very deep in his chest.
In his heart...?
Oh...help...
Alarm bells were sounding in his head now. Loudly enough to suggest that he’d missed a chance to hear them much earlier than this.
What was even more disturbing was that he knew why those alarms had been set in the first place and what they were about.
He’d learned long ago to recognise the warning signs of getting in too deep in a relationship. The pull to get close to a particular woman, even if it was purely sexual, was a huge red flag. This was new territory because it went above and beyond anything as simple as physical desire and it was alarming because it was even further along a relationship spectrum. That hollow feeling in his gut that was the emptiness of missing something—or someone—important in his life was deeper now. Darker. He could fall into it if he didn’t do something to protect himself.
That smile, that look, the whole softness about Grace in that moment, had offered him something he couldn’t allow himself to even consider accepting because it would be unbearable if it was taken away. Possibly unsurvivable.
Love...
Jock was an expert in sensing the exact moment when it was time to move on in any kind of relationship, but it felt like something had gone very wrong this time.
Had he been lulled into a sense of false security because there had been a very definite ‘use-by’ date on the experiment? Or because, thanks to those ground rules Jenni had put in place, they’d both felt safe with each other from the moment Grace had arrived in his life?
Jock didn’t feel safe now.
An unpleasant flicker of something menacing made Jock feel as if he was in danger.
No...he knew he was in danger.
In danger of falling in love with Grace Collins.
But maybe it wasn’t too late. At least he could hear the alarm sounding now.
And if he stayed in control and moved fast enough, perhaps he could escape unscathed.
How he could manage that escape without people getting hurt in the process was another matter entirely, but at least he didn’t have to think about it just yet.
Right now, he could focus on the patient he’d been called in to see this evening. And then he’d have to catch enough sleep to be able to do his job safely tomorrow, and he wanted to farewell Jenni and get her on the train in the morning to reach her flight to Australia in time without giving her any hint of undercurrents—real or threatened—due to the connection he had inadvertently allowed to go too far with Grace.
Yes...there was every reason to put off thinking about it at all until he had a safe time and space. And who knew? Maybe the universe would offer up a solution in the meantime.
