Falling for Her Forbidden Flatmate, page 11
‘No...’ Jodie pushed at her husband’s hands as he tried to help her out of the shower in the en suite bathroom of this labour suite. ‘Get away from me. I don’t want you touching me. You’re never going to touch me again. Ever...’
Her reference to the conception of this baby made Grace hide a smile as she turned off the shower and draped a soft, dry towel over Jodie’s shoulders. It wasn’t uncommon for women at this stage of labour to swear they were never going to risk going through this again. The vast majority of them had completely forgotten any such threats of discontinuing their sex life by the time they were holding their babies in their arms.
Even the thought of anybody having—or not having—sex was enough to give Grace a very unfamiliar curl of sensation in her own gut that made that hidden smile even wider. It wasn’t enough to be distracting her in any way from her care of Jodie but it was very...pleasant.
No, ‘pleasant’ was totally the wrong word for the discoveries Grace Collins had made regarding sex last night on Jock’s boat. She had always dismissed the heights of passion she’d heard or seen in books and movies as being flights of fantasy that had no basis in reality, but now she knew it could really happen.
She had, miraculously, experienced it for herself and it had quite possibly been...life-changing.
Even if she was only ever going to experience it that one time, she was never going to regret it. And she was certainly never going to forget it because it was always going to make her smile. And give her that oh, so delicious frisson of a sensation that was just the faintest echo of what it felt like to get taken to the edge of paradise and then pushed over it into a space she’d never known existed.
That secret smile vanished a heartbeat later, however, as Grace caught Alec’s horrified expression. Was he blaming himself in some way for the ordeal that Jodie was going through now?
‘This is transition,’ she told him. ‘It’s not you.’
Jodie was groaning as Grace helped her move. She walked towards the bed and held onto the side, her head down.
‘I feel sick,’ she said a moment later. And then, ‘Maybe I do want to push.’
‘Let’s get you on the bed for a minute then, Jodie. I’d like to check your dilation before giving you the all-clear to start pushing and we can put the CTG on so we can check baby’s heart rate during a contraction. You’ve been in labour for a while now and that’s tiring for both of you.’
But Alec was looking a lot happier. ‘It won’t be long now.’ He looked at Grace hopefully. ‘Will it?’
‘It’s Jodie’s first time,’ Grace reminded him. ‘And we know baby’s in a slightly tricky position, being face up, but this is when most babies will rotate to get ready for delivery. I’m going to check that as well—if you’re okay with another internal examination, Jodie?’
The young woman was climbing wearily onto the bed. ‘You do whatever you need to do,’ she sighed. ‘I just want this baby out...’
She was saying exactly the same thing more than an hour later, but now Jodie was sobbing and begging for an epidural anaesthetic she had earlier declared she didn’t want.
‘I want it now,’ she pleaded.
‘It’s a bit more complicated when you’re fully dilated,’ Grace told her. ‘I’m going to get one of our obstetricians to come and see you, but I need to do a few things first. We need to monitor baby continuously, so you’ll need to stay on the bed on your back, but first I need you to go and empty your bladder. If you do get an epidural, you’ll have to have a catheter inserted as well.’
‘I don’t care.’
‘Alec, can you go with Jodie while she goes to the loo and help her back to bed, please? Push the button on the wall if you’re worried about anything at all in there. I’ve got a couple of very quick phone calls I need to make.’
‘Sure.’ The young soon-to-be father was looking as exhausted as his wife.
Grace put out a call to the obstetric team and another one for an anaesthetist, who would be the person to insert the epidural catheter. She also called the ultrasound department to request a portable machine. Jodie’s baby had still been in an occipito-posterior position, or face up, when Grace had examined her at the beginning of the second stage of her labour, but now she was facing the possible need for an assisted or surgical delivery and the obstetrician would want to know exactly how the baby was presenting.
Was it unprofessional, she wondered, to be hoping this much that it would be Jock who was on his way to help with this delivery?
* * *
‘So... I hear you’ve got a “sunny side up” baby.’
‘Like an egg?’
Jock nodded solemnly. At least he’d got Jodie’s husband, Alec, smiling. How much more anxious would they both be looking if he’d confirmed that their baby had a persistent occipito-posterior presentation and was about to need assistance to be delivered safely.
‘Left occipito-posterior.’ The ultrasound technician was finishing her urgent examination and this information was important. It would inform the direction of rotation to apply with either a hand or pair of forceps.
‘Thanks, Mandy.’ Jock perched on the end of Jodie’s bed as Mandy moved the portable ultrasound machine, to bring himself to the same level as the young parents. Alec had his arm around Jodie as she lay back against the pillows and she was clinging to his hand with one of her own. Grace was busy securing an IV line she had put into the back of Jodie’s other hand. Her head was bent and, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, he could see the tiny whorls of hair just behind her ear.
Not that Jock was going to allow himself even a nanosecond to remember that he knew exactly how baby-soft that hair was or how delicious the equally soft skin felt and tasted, but it did require an effort.
It was just as well last night had been a ‘one-off’. Personal distractions of any kind during working hours were totally unacceptable.
* * *
‘Here’s the thing,’ Jock said. ‘We were hoping your little one would decide to turn herself around.’ He tilted his head to include Grace as part of this team. ‘But she’s being a wee bit stubborn and we can see that it could become a problem.’ Jock picked up the CTG graph that Grace had recorded. ‘The way the heart rate is dropping during contractions and taking a while to come back up is a sign that we need to do something. I know you’re hoping for an epidural, Jodie, but I think it’s too late for that.’
‘Oh, no...’
‘We’re going to help you,’ Jock added quickly. ‘And you’re going to see your baby very soon. Worst case scenario is that you’ll need a Caesarean and we’re going to move you into Theatre to be on the safe side but there are other procedures we can try first, to turn your baby so that she can be born without you needing surgery.’
‘Like forceps?’ Jodie was sobbing now. ‘No... I don’t want that... It’s not on my plan...’
‘Jock needs to do what’s safest for you and baby,’ Grace said. ‘That’s the only thing that matters right now.’
‘What would you do?’
Jock wasn’t surprised that both Alec and Jodie turned to Grace. He could feel the level of trust they had with their midwife.
Grace smiled at them and then turned her head to include Jock in the smile.
‘I would trust Jock,’ she said quietly. ‘Absolutely.’
* * *
‘What’s it like?’ Grace was in charge of the toasted sandwich maker in the kitchen as they ate a late meal that evening. ‘I mean, I’ve put pressure on when a baby’s crowning to slow down a precipitous birth or get the cord from around the neck. And once I had to keep the head elevated in a cord prolapse while they set up for the C-section, but you were holding the head enough to be able to turn it. That must feel astonishing...’
‘Imagine this.’ Jock made his hand into a fist and then took Grace’s hand to put over it. ‘My fist is the baby’s head. You need to hold it like this, with your thumb over the right parietal bone, and you put enough pressure on to reduce the foetal head station and push it back far enough to give you the room for rotation, but not too far because that could precipitate a cord prolapse.’
He was pressing Grace’s hand gently down on his. ‘And then your turn the baby’s head. If it’s an LOP you use your right hand and turn counter clockwise. If it’s ROP you use your left hand and do a clockwise rotation.’
He could feel Grace’s hand moving beneath his palm.
‘If you meet some resistance, a slight tilt of baby’s head towards the chest will help.’ He bent Grace’s hand a little. ‘And when it’s turned, you hold it in the anterior position over the next two contractions while you get the mother to push down. That way, you bring the foetal head back down into the pelvic outlet and the occiput under the pubic bone.’
Jock was still holding Grace’s hand. Her gaze was fixed on his face.
‘And then you’ve got a natural delivery happening,’ she said, ‘and a baby with an APGAR score of eight and two parents who think you’re the best obstetrician ever.’
Jock could smell the cheese that was bubbling out through the join in the sandwich maker. It was probably time to open the machine and check the bread wasn’t getting burnt, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Grace and he could see exactly what he was thinking being reflected in her eyes.
‘I want to kiss you,’ he admitted.
‘I want you to,’ she said.
Jock bent his head. Grace sucked in a breath.
‘We can’t,’ she whispered.
‘Why not?’
‘You know why.’
Jock did know why. Because it was highly unlikely it would just be a kiss. There was no reason not to let his body remember just how incredible the sex with Grace had been last night and, when he did, it let him know in no uncertain terms just how much it would like to repeat the experience.
‘It was only supposed to be once.’
‘Would it be all that different if it happened to be twice?’ Jock kept his tone deliberately casual. ‘I mean, it was supposed to be an experiment, wasn’t it?’
‘Mmm...’ Grace was staring at his mouth.
‘And it worked...?’ He was trying not to sound smug now.
‘Mmm...’
‘Most scientists would say that the experiment would have to be repeated, just to check that the first results were trustworthy.’
Grace had closed her eyes. Because she didn’t want him to know what she was thinking? Did she realise she was leaning into him—as if being drawn closer by a magnetic force? He dipped his head a little more. Far enough for his lips to be almost brushing hers.
‘What’s the real reason not to? Because we agreed we don’t want Jenni to know anything about this?’
‘She was right. It would be too weird. It might mess with our friendship.’
‘And I’d feel guilty,’ Jock admitted. ‘Not that I made a promise that I wouldn’t lay a finger on you. She just assumed I did.’
‘She’d know.’ Grace was decisive. ‘And it might spoil her visit.’
‘Not if it had stopped happening before she got here.’
‘That’s only a couple of weeks away.’
‘More than enough time to make sure the experiment really was a success.’ Jock let his lips settle on hers for just a heartbeat. It wasn’t as if he was a stranger to intense but deliberately short physical relationships. ‘A “use-by” date like that is perfect,’ he murmured. ‘By the time she gets here we can be absolutely telling the truth when we say we’re just good friends. She’s not going to ask too many questions, anyway. We do know when to respect each other’s privacy.’
Jock reached past Grace to turn the sandwich maker off.
He didn’t want the house to start burning down while he kissed her as thoroughly as he intended to.
* * *
It was a risk, of course.
The bar had been set so high the first time that Grace wasn’t at all sure the sex could be anything like as good as that again. She was risking that memory, in fact. The memory she had spent today thinking she could rely on if she ever needed to feel better about herself. Special... Or just to feel better about the world in general. Or dream of a future, perhaps, where she wouldn’t be alone.
But Jock was right. If she really was going to give that future another chance and not give up on finding a partner, then making sure that experiment had really broken through those barriers could only help.
What if the sex on the boat had only been that amazing because it was a result of not only an over-emotional day at work but the result of that dam bursting in the wake of telling Jock why it had affected her on such a personal level? A fantasy that had begun when she had accepted that she was attracted to him. That she could imagine falling in love with him, even.
It would be different this time. Her feet were back on the ground. She wasn’t about to let herself fall in love with Jock McKay because the last thing she wanted was to get her heart broken. She did, however, want to have sex with him again. What woman wouldn’t?
It wasn’t as if she was initiating it this time either. Jock wanted this.
He wanted her, and that was enough to make Grace feel a little giddy.
And it was different. Better...
Because they were already more familiar with each other’s bodies and Grace was learning that it was possible to relax—have fun in bed, even—and still feel safe. This had a ‘use-by’ date, after all.
Even if Jenni wasn’t on her way to visit them, it would have only ever been a temporary thing. Jock never stayed in one place—or with one person—long enough for it to be anything else.
Knowing that so clearly up front meant that no one was going to get hurt here.
So maybe they should just make the most of it.
* * *
There was nothing like a ticking clock to provide focus.
Mixing in the fantasy of something that was a big step away from reality in that it wasn’t a real relationship only increased every aspect of it—like a brief holiday on a tropical island, perhaps.
Or an intensely passionate relationship with what should have been a completely unsuitable, unavailable man.
It wasn’t just the sex, despite that being the most obvious fantastical part of what was going on for Grace.
No...whatever was happening between them physically was permeating every minute of every day in the countdown to when Jock was going to drive down to Christchurch to collect Jenni from her international flight coming in from Glasgow via London and Singapore. It was there in that first sip of coffee in the morning, when she could catch Jock’s gaze over the rim of her mug, and it was there last thing at night, when they had that silent conversation that could happen in a single glance.
Are you tired?
Not that tired.
Do you want to...?
Yes...oh, yes, I do...
It was there constantly at work.
If they were both involved in the same case, if felt as if there was almost an extra dimension to the passion Grace brought to her work—because she wanted Jock to be impressed with her—the way he had been when she’d been with Yvonne and David through the trauma of losing their baby.
When they weren’t working together, there was that delicious possibility of just seeing him coming towards her down a corridor or in the café and feeling the hum of that secret between them. Perhaps it was there especially when they were not working together, with a mother and her baby that required their complete focus, because that was when she could let herself sink into that...what was it...the warmth of gratitude? Excitement? Or was it as simple as pure happiness?
Whatever it was, it felt like it was powerful enough to be spreading.
An antenatal clinic gave Grace the chance to catch up with Maureen, who was happily nesting as she got further into her final trimester and wanted to share pictures of the nursery furniture she’d ordered online that included the latest trend of a bedside crib with a detachable bassinet.
‘Look, it’s got see-through mesh windows and a zip-down wall. I won’t even have to get out of bed to do night feeds.’
‘And it gives baby a safe sleeping space instead of bed sharing,’ Grace noted. ‘It’s a brilliant idea.’
Stella looked even happier when she came in later, having just had her anatomy scan ultrasound.
‘It’s a girl,’ she told Grace as she lay on the bed to get her fundal height measured. ‘I would have been just as happy to have another boy, as long as he was healthy, but Scott has set his heart on having a little sister to look after and I think his dad had his fingers crossed too, judging by his reaction to the picture I sent him of a pair of pink booties.’
‘What did he say?’ Grace turned the tape measure to eliminate any bias by being able to see the number of centimetres. With one hand, she secured the end on the point where she palpated the top of the fundus to be.
‘It was a whole shower of love hearts.’
‘Nice.’ Grace kept the tape in contact with Stella’s skin as she smoothed it down towards the symphysis pubis where the left and right sides of the lower pelvis met in the centre. ‘Does Scott know yet?’
‘No. I’m trying to think of a way we could do a kind of private gender reveal. Just for him.’
‘Hmm...’ Grace thought about that as she recorded the measurement she had just taken. ‘You’re nearly seventeen centimetres, Stella. Right on track.’
‘The ultrasound technician, Mandy, said she’d be sending the results through to Dr McKay but it didn’t matter that my appointment wasn’t until next week. She said everything looks great.’ Stella was smiling again. ‘And she said that you don’t often get such a clear view of gender at this stage but she’s a hundred percent sure that it’s a girl.’
