Calumet, page 17
back in time remembering something precious, from the
expression on her face. “Don’t ever forget that.”
“What, or who, was your great love?” Curiosity was a
central part of her personality according to Margot, but this
might be pushing the limits. Most Southern women didn’t
like being asked personal questions. It was like a
combination of asking what they weighed and how old they
were. That was none of your business no matter who you
were.
“We have a great deal in common, my friend. I should’ve
left here years ago and lived the life I truly wanted, but
there was plenty holding me back. That we don’t have in
common.” Eugenia reached over and patted her hand, and
Jaxon held it. “You ran out of here like the devil himself was
chasing you, and look at the life you’ve built. I lived for
weekends and holidays when I could get away.”
“Where’d you go? If you don’t mind telling me. I don’t
want to upset you.”
“It’s a finished chapter, and telling the story now isn’t
going to make a difference to my life. I’d drive to Baton
Rouge to spend time with Dr. Elle Taylor. She wanted it to be
permanent, but she understood my commitment to my
parents.”
“Wait a minute. Dr. Taylor and you?” If she had a favorite
teacher after Eugenia, it was Elle Taylor.
“Yes, and she spoke of you often and the notes you sent
her until her death last year. I took a sabbatical to take care
of her, and she left you something. Stop by the house before
you go, and I’ll give it to you.” Eugenia wiped away the
tears that fell steadily, and Jaxon moved to hold her. “It was
a different time when I was young, just like it was when you
were growing up.”
“It sounds like you weren’t together all the time, but you
were happy.”
“We were. Our summers were always full of adventure to
exotic places, and memories of our weekends are what help
me make it through the days now.” Eugenia kissed her
cheek and pushed her back to her rocker. “That’s why you
need to show that girl of yours how special she is.”
“Like I said, I’m working on it.”
Eugenia nodded once and took another sip of wine. “Now
that I’ve spilled my secrets, let me tell you the real reason
I’m here. I want you to do me a favor.”
“You can ask me anything—you know that.”
“I’ve been teaching for years now, and with Elle gone, I
was looking for a sign to finally let it all go. This year that
finally came, and I think it’s time for my protégé to leave
her own stamp on my students.”
“I’m not sure what that means, but I’ll help if I can.” She
only loved mysteries in books.
“Come and teach my junior honors class on Friday. A few
of my kids need a taste of what a big-city education could
do for them.”
Jaxon laughed and shook her head. “Wouldn’t your
seniors be better candidates if you want them to aspire to
college and beyond?”
“Believe me, I know what I’m doing. There are fourteen
kids in the class, and I get them at ten in the morning. You
can pick the assignment, and I spoke to the teachers who
get them after me, and they said they don’t mind you
cutting into their class time if you go over.” Eugenia drained
her glass and patted her hand again. “I’ll be waiting for
you.” She handed over a card with her information on it.
“When you think of something for them to read, call me,
and I’ll email them all with the information. Don’t be late,
and don’t cut them any slack. You may not believe me, but
some of these kids need to see you.”
“See me?” If she didn’t know any better, she’d swear
she’d had a lot more drinks than her one.
Eugenia nodded. “Nothing in life is better than a living,
breathing example of what could be if only you took the
chance. Fear should be reserved for things like charging
bulls, Jaxon, not being the person you are.”
“Words to live by, I guess.” She was confused by this
whole conversation, but it wasn’t an unreasonable request.
“They are, and I’m leaving before you come to your
senses.”
For a woman in her late sixties, Eugenia was spry enough
to take the stairs faster than Jax would’ve thought. Her
departure left her with the thought she’d been bamboozled,
but telling Eugenia no wasn’t in her DNA.
“And people think I’m an odd duck.” Jaxon signaled for
another drink and called Margot on her way up to her room.
She got her voice mail, so she grabbed her journal and
headed across the street to the bayou and the Adirondack
chairs set up to take in the view.
She remembered the old dock someone had built at the
back of her grandmother’s property, and how many hours
she’d spent staring at the lazy flow of the dark brown water.
Those gentle ripples had been one of the first things that
had stirred her imagination to put words to paper. The
ocean and the view from their backyard at home in
California had opened her mind to bigger and better things,
but a different view of this same bayou had been her
humble beginnings.
The journal sat forgotten on her lap as she continued to
reminisce until her phone ringing woke her up. She smiled
at how the muddy water still had the ability to put her to
sleep as she fished her phone out. “Hello.”
“Do you miss me as much as I’m missing you?” Margot
sounded whiny, a sure sign she’d had a crappy day so far.
“Who is this, Viola?” She loved teasing Margot and got a
raspberry for her trouble.
“And why am I missing you?” Margot laughed then made
a kissing noise. “How’s it going?”
“I started missing you the moment you drove away.” She
was glad she was the only one out here, not wanting anyone
to overhear her conversation. The sound of slamming car
doors meant other guests were probably arriving, and some,
if not all of them, were probably old classmates.
Margot hummed for a moment then sighed. “You do have
a talent for redeeming yourself, Lavigne. Now answer my
question. How are you?”
Trying to learn from her past mistakes, Jax gave her a full
account of what had happened from the time she’d left
Tully’s, including her encounter with local law enforcement.
“This guy took bullying to a whole new level for the two
years I was subjected to him, and it’s good to know he now
wears a gun for a living. The bright spot of my day was a
visit from Eugenia.” Margot knew exactly who Eugenia was
from all her old stories.
“Are you going to do it?” Margot was making plenty of
noise on her end, but Jaxon couldn’t figure out what she was
doing.
“I’d fear for my life if I didn’t show up. What are you up
to?”
“We got let go early, and I’m tired of takeout. I’m making
stir-fry, and I promise to freeze you some. So, what award-
winning lecture do you have planned?”
“I was thinking of the short story you argued so
passionately about.”
“‘The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas’ is a great
choice, sweetie. That day of class will always stay with me,
and I use it sometimes when I have to conjure up a good
image of man’s inhumanity to man. Makes me cry every
time.”
The short story written by Ursula K. Le Guin was, in
Jaxon’s opinion, a masterful use of words. It described the
utopian city of Omelas, where there was no poverty,
sickness, or problem of any kind. The city’s dirty secret was
these blessings depended on one child being locked in a
closet and singled out for a life of misery, and most of the
city’s residents accepted this atrocity as the bargain they’d
made with some unmentioned being for the lives everyone
else got to lead.
“It’s not very long, but it’s a great teaching tool to make
you consider your actions, going forward in life. I’d like to
believe I’m putting not only educated people out into the
world, but decent ones.”
“True, but some of the opinions people expressed in class
still shock me. I blame those idiots for electing Trump. It’ll
be interesting to see what a younger group thinks.”
“That story makes you wonder if a sacrifice of one person
for the good of everyone else is something you could live
with. It works unless you or your child is the sacrifice.”
“But it was a child, honey.” It took a minute for Margot to
go from calm to indignant over the subject.
“Sweetheart, the story wouldn’t work if the one singled
out was some evil killer rapist. It has to be a sacrifice you
have to have second thoughts about. Looking in on that kid
surrounded by darkness and dirty mops should make you
examine yourself as a person if you’re able to turn away and
not have a problem with it. And we’ve already had this
argument.” She stretched and cracked her neck from
sleeping in an awkward position for so long.
“Uh, I loved and hated that assignment. How can you be
so blasé about it?”
“Because I’ve taught it for years, but our initial reactions
weren’t all that different. They pay me to be more objective
about it. Calling those who’d have no problem with it
heartless assholes isn’t acceptable, according to the dean.”
“Hey, I’d find that a totally acceptable response,” Margot
said and laughed.
Remembering Margot screaming that at the top of her
lungs at some asshole sitting behind her made her laugh as
well. “How’s work?”
Margot took a deep breath, which meant it wasn’t good.
“It smells like someone died on the set, but Judith was right.
The furniture dried like new, but I’ve done everything
possible not to sit on any of it, so my butt doesn’t smell like
mildew. This week’s episode will look like someone followed
us around holding dead fish under our noses. All that
matters is that we’re on schedule. Those assholes would’ve
walked away after seeing that poor kid and bought
everyone a round of drinks.”
“I’m sorry, but if you’re on schedule, you should have the
weekend off. It’s not worth the flight for just a Saturday
night thing I probably won’t be at for long. Take some time
to go see your parents, and save me the trip,” she said,
teasing.
“You know Daddy would be disappointed if I showed up
without you.” Margot blew her another kiss and sounded
better. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you just to bitch. I’m
pissed about work and because I’m here and not there. Go
get something to eat, and promise you’ll call me later. If I
can’t go to sleep with you next to me, I can still go to sleep
with you.”
“I promise, and have the driver stop for some mints
before you go in tomorrow. It’ll help with the smell. I love
you, and I do miss you.”
“I love you too, honey, and try to eat something that
doesn’t come in a grease-stained bag. If you clog your
arteries while you’re out of my sight, you’re in for a lecture
that’ll make you reexamine yourself as a person when I get
you home.”
She laughed at that. After moving in with Margot, hot dog
had become a dirtier word than fuck. “I’m eating with Bert
and his parents, so not to worry, my cholesterol will be the
same when I get home.”
“Good, and I love you too.”
She changed for dinner and drove to Bert’s after stopping
for a bottle of wine. The delicious meal both his mother and
father had put together made her lethargic by the time they
were done. Going to bed so full was a bad idea, so she took
a walk after getting back and enjoyed the way her footsteps
echoed on the sidewalk. Los Angeles was never this quiet,
and she’d forgotten there were still places like this in the
world.
She remembered nights spent eating with her best
friend’s family like she had tonight, then climbing into Iris’s
room after her parents were asleep so she and Iris could
kiss. All those memories made her smile. Those had been
some of the last times she’d not been consumed with guilt,
worry, and angst over what had happened when the people
she’d loved knew the truth of her. The pain had made her
strong, but she had no desire to relive it.
Seeing her parents again was important, but she’d walk
away for good this time, not allowing the hurtful things they
probably still thought to get past her defenses. Time had
taught her that everyone was entitled to their opinions, but
it didn’t make them true. It had taken plenty of hard work to
carve out a life she was proud of, and nothing anyone said
would make her love Margot any less.
In the end, that Margot loved her was all that mattered.
* * *
Iris put a bag of oranges in her shopping cart and pushed
it forward, but she accidentally bumped the cart in front of
her. “I’m so sorry,” she said, putting her hand up. She was
trying to rush home and change to meet Nancy and the
girls. The pre-reunion cocktail party was the next afternoon,
and she was trying to finish putting all the food and mixers
together, so she could relax for the party.
“Iris, it’s been a long time,” Eve Lavigne said. The woman
always managed to make her name sound like Ooh, I have
dog shit stuck to my shoe.
There was no one else in her life who’d spoken to her like
they were shooting the words down their nose in disdain.
They hadn’t had many interactions since Jaxon left town
even though they lived about a mile from each other, but
she’d bet everything she owned that Eve blamed her for
what had happened.
Roy had told her a little of how his mother had reacted to
learning about Jaxon’s sexuality and the hateful things that
dug an ocean between mother and daughter, one neither of
them was willing to cross. Eve most probably made herself
feel better by making Iris the villain. In her version of reality,
Jaxon was fine until Iris seduced her into a life of sin and
perversion.
“Mrs. Lavigne, I apologize, but I’m in a hurry.” She tried
to go around Eve, but she moved her cart to block her way.
“Is it true Jaxon is back for the weekend?”
Iris barely heard the question Eve had asked so softly.
“She sent in her response that she was coming, but I
haven’t seen her. I’m sure she’ll call you when she gets to
town.” Sean picked that moment to come back with two
cases of Coke she’d sent her for. The way Eve stared at her
daughter made her uncomfortable. “Hey, could you pick up
a couple bottles of cranberry juice for me?”
Sean glanced at Eve before heading to the other side of
the store without a word.
“Is she yours?” Eve asked, following Sean with her eyes.
“Yes, she’s my daughter. If you’ll excuse me, I really need
to get going.” She turned and moved around one of the
displays to get away.
What had happened wasn’t one person’s fault. She bore
the majority of the blame for being a coward, but what Eve
had done didn’t help anything. It had taken a wedding and
having a baby for her own parents to forgive her for
something they didn’t understand or accept. Her mother
had told her Daniel was the best thing that could happen to
her, followed only by Jaxon leaving for school. It would make
all the gossip die down, her mother had foolishly thought.
“Who was that?” Sean asked. She put the cranberry juice
in the cart and stood next to her.
Iris had been surprised Sean had volunteered to go
shopping with her, but no one would ever guess she wanted
to be there from the way she walked with her hands shoved
deep in her pockets. “Eve Lavigne,” she said, going down
the chip aisle and picking up a selection. “She’s the mom of
someone I went to school with.”
“Jaxon Lavigne?” Sean asked. The name fell off Sean’s
lips quickly, and the way she didn’t look at her meant she
wasn’t expecting an answer.
“Yes, Jaxon was a friend in high school, but I haven’t seen
