Firecracker, page 14
I lost it in the space of a few minutes, such was the force of my desire. When I came, I arched magnificently, straining against her and meeting her eyes as she kept her tongue moving and pleasuring me in constant motion.
Slumping back onto the seat, I instantly couldn’t believe what I had done.
‘Oh God…Dax, we’re in a car park!’ I said, sitting and covering myself up.
She laughed and moved up and over, grabbing my chin and directing it to her face. She kissed me intimately, allowing me to taste the mutual combination of our desire. It was heady and exciting, and I felt my heart calm its pace in response.
When she lifted her head, she looked down at me. ‘Definitely wear a skirt sometimes,’ she commented. ‘Easier access for me, yeah?’ she smiled.
I gasped. ‘You’re planning on doing this again?’ I asked, ‘Not just as a one off?’
‘Baby; I want to be with you all the time. I could do this all day if we were able to. That being said, you do look like you’ve just had a crazy intense orgasm. Let’s make you look school-appropriate again, huh?’
I laughed as she helped put my clothes back into place and fix my hair.
‘There…perfect,’ she smiled.
‘Far from it, but let’s go. Avi will be wondering where we got to!’
‘Did you speak to her about after school?’ Dax asked.
‘I did yeah. She’s fine with it because Ayce asked her out-to the diner!’ I told her, happily.
‘I know, he told me,’ she said, looking decidedly smug.
‘Did you have something to do with that?’ I asked, giving her a suspicious look.
‘I may have,’ she chuckled. ‘I just told Ayce that I’d met you recently and that you had a really pretty, lovely friend. I offered to introduce him, and he was keen-he recently split from his girlfriend, so he’s been kind of down. Works for all of us, right?’
‘It sure does!’ I exclaimed. ‘Well done, you!’
‘It means I can drive you home after school, doesn’t it?’ she smiled.
‘Well, it does…but don’t get any naughty ideas,’ I told her. ‘Mum is very strict with me after school. I’m expected home by four at the latest and then have to complete my homework before dinner. I’m not allowed out on a school night either.’
‘It’s college!’ she exclaimed. ‘There’s meant to be more freedom!’
‘There’s meant to be, sure. Not with my Mum around.’
‘Hang on-if she takes the job at the palace, I’m pretty sure they don’t finish until around five.’
I cocked my head at her. ‘Interesting…’
‘Which means, an hour where there’s no-one home. Perhaps I should come back with you tonight and ingratiate myself to your Mum. If she likes me, this will be easier…and she has no reason to suspect anything, right? She doesn’t think you’re a lesbian, does she?’
‘She would have no inkling at all…and I don’t know what I am, Dax,’ I said, unsure. ‘I mean, is it okay if I don’t label myself? I don’t really know right now…’
‘Fiya, it’s fine! Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry about that. I just meant that she wouldn’t suspect that you’re interested in me in that way, right?’
‘No. She would have no idea, you’re right.’
‘Okay then, so we go to yours after school-as friends-and make it clear that we’re becoming close-again, as friends. That should help this, right? She might be more willing to let me come round?’
‘I guess so…just stress the whole royal angle with my mother. She’s easily swayed with that kind of crap,’ I told her.
Dax laughed at me. ‘That kind of crap?’ she repeated.
I shrugged. ‘Well, you know…all that being fancy, affluent and posh stuff. She would love to elevate her status like that, but we’re poor and simple. She’s easily impressed by people like you.’
‘But you aren’t?’ she smiled.
‘I’m not saying I’m not impressed with you, you…but I don’t care about the princess thing, if I’m honest,’ I told her. ‘I like you for who you are deep down here,’ I said, placing a hand to her heart. ‘I actually don’t like that you’re royal, have commitments and have to hide who you truly are. That makes me sad.’
She cocked her head and studied me. ‘You know something, Fiya? You’re one of the first people who has ever really seen me for who I am-not the title, the wealth and what I could do or bring to you. I like that you think it’s all crap. I like that you’re not interested in any of it. The truth is, I feel the same-but I’m stuck in the middle of it.’
‘I know you are,’ I sympathised. ‘But if we can do anything for each other, it’s taking a few minutes for ourselves here and there. We both know it can’t be forever, but for right now, it works.’
She sighed. ‘I could fall for you so easily, Fiya,’ she said, unexpectedly.
I gazed at her, her captive eyes holding mine. I felt my heart begin to pound in my chest and my breathing faltered. ‘What?’ I exclaimed, breathlessly.
‘You heard me,’ she said, quietly. ‘But I keep telling myself not to think that way…that this isn’t going to last…it’s hard though, Fiya. I really like you.’
‘I really like you too,’ I murmured, scanning her beautiful eyes.
‘Do you ever wish things could be different?’ she questioned. ‘Easier?’
I sighed. ‘Only all the time,’ I said, sadly.
She scanned my eyes. ‘We better get back to class.’
‘I know,’ I replied, feeling more and more drawn and connected to her with each passing second.
‘You know if I could change how it is, I would?’
‘I know,’ I said again, feeling her pain. ‘Come on, let’s go…distract ourselves. This is meant to be a fun thing, remember? No getting all heavy and sad, okay?’ I said, trying to be light-hearted.
She smiled at me, but the movement didn’t light her eyes. I knew, no matter how hard either of us tried, that this would never been light and fun between us. The connection was too strong. After locking up the car, we walked slowly back up to the college. Parting reluctantly, we both headed for our separate afternoon lessons.
At the end of the day, Dax was waiting for me out on the lawn when I emerged from the building. Making my way towards her, I felt a longing sweep through me as I neared her. She looked so beautiful, her bright blonde hair shining in the sunlight.
‘Hi,’ I said, as I reached her.
‘Hey beautiful,’ she said, quietly, turning to walk with me once I’d reached her.
‘Hey, shush!’ I exclaimed.
‘I can’t help myself,’ she said, smiling over at me. ‘You’re so pretty, Fiya.’
‘No, I’m not,’ I blushed. ‘I’m as average as they come!’
‘You’re so wrong,’ she drawled, shaking her head. ‘You’re stunning, Fiya…you just don’t realise it yet.’
I shook my head. ‘You’re an idiot.’
She chuckled. ‘I’m your idiot,’ she smiled, as we reached the car.
After unlocking the door, she held the door open for me. ‘Thanks.’
She just smiled, seemingly more than content.
Dax drove me the short distance home, and when we reached the house, I saw that my mother’s car was not there.
‘She’s not home,’ I murmured, thoughtfully.
‘Check your phone? Maybe she’s left a message?’
‘Oh yeah,’ I said, digging in my bag as we left the car and headed for the door. I let us in and emptied my bag on the kitchen table, searching for my discarded phone. When I found it, sure enough, there was a message on my phone.
‘Great interview-tell you about it later. Be back at five, Mum x’ it read.
‘She said the interview went well and she won’t be back until five,’ I told Dax, looking up at her with excitement.
Her eyebrows rose. ‘Yeah?’ she said, brightening. ‘Come on then! We can mess about in your room!’
‘You don’t waste any time, do you?’ I exclaimed. ‘You do realise we’ve already done stuff twice today-and it’s a Monday!’ I said, stunned at how much she wanted me.
‘I don’t think what day it is matters, gorgeous. Now come on, we have to steal moments when we get the chance. I can’t wait to get you laid out and naked. I do like the times at school but it’s even better when I can get you completely to myself-and on a bed!’
I smiled. ‘Come on then. It’s almost four…we’ve got an hour.’
She reached for my hand, and we ran for the door.
Upstairs, Dax shut and locked my door behind us.
‘Can you hear her car from here?’ she asked as she headed for me and started pulling at my clothes.
‘Yeah, you can hear the gravel on the driveway when she pulls in. Blimey, keen much?’ I exclaimed, as she started tugging my t-shirt above my head.
‘We don’t have much time!’ she said, ‘And what if she’s home early? You don’t want her to find you spread eagled on the bed, naked, with me in between your legs.’
I laughed at the sheer horror I could imagine on her face. ‘I wouldn’t live to see another day!’ I exclaimed. ‘Oh my God, she’d literally kill me.’
‘Then come on. Let’s get on with it.’
‘Are you always like this?’ I asked, as we stripped off our clothes and tumbled to the bed.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Like, really horny?’ I asked, bluntly.
She threw her head back and laughed. ‘Not normally, no. You seem to bring it out in me. I’ve never felt so drawn to someone before, Fiya. Our connection is unique.’
I sighed, wishing this could be forever. ‘Kiss me,’ I murmured, huskily.
She bent her head and captured my mouth with hers.
Half an hour later, we lay on the bed replete and satisfied. My heart was beginning to calm its frantic rhythm and my head was telling me that we should get up and get dressed-in case my mother decided to make an appearance.
‘You okay?’ Dax asked, by my side.
‘Yeah,’ I murmured, quietly.
‘You seem thoughtful,’ she commented.
‘No, it’s all good-I was just thinking that we should get dressed in case Mum comes home.’
She groaned. ‘Party pooper,’ she muttered. ‘But yeah…you’re right. Let’s get up.’
We got up and dressed and I made the bed. After opening the window, I sat down at my desk instead of the bed, putting a safe distance between us.
‘It’s all good, Fiya-even if she comes home now, there’s nothing to worry about.’
‘Maybe you should just go before she does-we don’t want her to even suspect, let alone know you were here. It adds up to too many clues.’
She sighed. ‘Okay. I should be getting home anyway. My own parents will be questioning me over where I was.’
‘What will you say?’ I asked.
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know…maybe that I stayed on at school to finish a song or something?’
‘Well, don’t get in trouble. We need to play by the rules if this is going to work between us.’
She nodded slowly. ‘You’re not regretting our choice to keep going with this? Despite the fact that it’s going to be hard?’
‘I’ve accepted the fact that this isn’t an easy situation, Dax. I can’t turn off my feelings for you. I really like you.’
‘And I really like you, Fiya. Like I said earlier, I’m this close to falling for you,’ she said, pinching her fingers together to indicate a minute amount.
I sighed. ‘Don’t keep saying that…’
‘Why not?’ she questioned.
‘Because it makes me yearn for things we can’t have.’
She went still, staring at me. Shaking her head suddenly, she got to her feet. ‘I should go. You’re right. I’m sorry I got all heavy again. I’ll head home before your Mum arrives back.’
‘And before you get in trouble,’ I added.
She nodded. ‘It’s complete madness,’ she decided. ‘I’m months away from being eighteen-an adult. Even then I won’t be able to make choices for myself.’
‘It’s the same for me, Dax,’ I reminded her. ‘And we’ve had this conversation. We just need to accept it now and enjoy this for as long as we can.’
She didn’t respond, just stared at me looking sad.
‘Don’t be upset,’ I begged.
She nodded, looking away, seemingly distancing herself from her emotions. ‘I’m going to go.’
‘Yeah,’ I sighed.
We headed to the door together and then walked downstairs. At the door, she turned back, as if she was going to say something but then changed her mind. ‘See you tomorrow, Fiya.’
‘Yeah…see you,’ I said, with regret.
As she left, I realised I’d become very attached to Dax in a short space of time. I needed to spend some time processing everything, otherwise I was going to be very hurt, I realised. Closing the door behind her, I headed into the kitchen to make a start on dinner.
When my Mum came in twenty minutes later, she was grateful that I was cooking already.
‘Fiya! Thank you, darling! That’s good of you to start the tea,’ she smiled.
‘Yeah, well, I figured you’d probably had a busy day,’ I told her. ‘How was the interview?’ I asked, knowing she’d want me to ask.
‘Oh, it went so well-that well that I’ve been offered the job!’ she exclaimed. ‘I literally start tomorrow! I spent today being trained up by them!’
‘No way!’ I said, stunned. ‘So, you’re going to be working at the palace?’
‘Yes, that’s right. I’m working alongside a team of others and the pay is so much better than my other jobs combined that I can give them up and focus on the one role. I’m so happy, Fiya. This is going to be such a positive change for me.’
‘I’m happy for you, Mum,’ I told her, happily. ‘Really pleased. Will your hours change then?’ I asked, anxious to know when she would and would not be about.
‘Well morning’s will be the same. I’ll just be home a little later-around five thirty most nights probably. If you could start dinner some nights, like you’re doing now, that would be really helpful,’ she said then.
‘Yeah, that’s fine,’ I agreed. ‘So, does this mean you’re going to have much to do with the King and Queen?’ I questioned.
‘No, I don’t think so. Apparently, they spend most of their time at the other residence. A mansion.’
‘Oh…well, that’s great news, Mum. Congratulations!’
‘Thanks honey. Everything’s finally falling into place. You’re in college, with a bright future ahead of you and I’m finally going to do a good job and get paid well. Life is good!’
I smiled at her, hoping she was right. Despite her bright smile, I felt like a cloud hung over me. I was happy that I’d met Dax, but it brought one hell of a lot of complications to my life too. She was on my mind constantly as I cooked the dinner, and through the rest of the evening too.
The rest of the week followed the same pattern of Monday. Dax and I stole moments wherever we could, and although they were enjoyable, pleasurable and left me feeling satisfied, deep down I knew that this wasn’t what either of us wanted, ultimately. Seeing the growing relationship between Avi and Ayce just confirmed that, as every time they were openly affectionate with each other on the lawn, I felt a pang of jealously sweep through me. I wanted the same, and I wanted it with Dax. Unfortunately, that wasn’t destined to be.
On Friday morning, I walked to school feeling pensive. When I met Dax, Avi went off with Ayce while I trailed beside Dax to the music room.
‘You seem sad,’ she commented, as we closed the door behind us, giving us privacy.
‘I guess I am a bit,’ I mused, thinking things through.
‘Talk to me, Fiya. What’s going on in your head?’
‘Oh, I don’t know…nothing…just ignore me. I’m sure this will pass.’
‘What will pass? What’s going on in your head?’ she asked.
I sighed. ‘I just feel…I don’t know, I feel happy about what’s happening between us, but it’s also bringing me down. When I’m with you, it’s like all the things I’m meant to feel are there. It’s amazing. You make me smile, I enjoy your company and I’m attracted to you. It’s pretty damn perfect, you know? The trouble is, I feel like none of this is real…or if I let myself go with you completely, that it’s going to hurt so badly when this is over.’
‘Oh Fiya…’ she sighed.
‘I’m worried that this isn’t a good idea, Dax. I don’t want to end this now, but maybe that would be better.’
‘Better for who? Fiya, this will hurt no matter when it ends…whether it’s now, in a month or a year from now. Please don’t back away from me. I want to spend as much time with you as I can before life takes us in different directions.’
‘But that’s just it! It will, won’t it? So, why are we doing this? I should be trying to do as my mother tells me-to find a match, so my future works out happier than hers did.’
‘You want to meet some guy? Would that make you happy, Fiya?’ she demanded, looking angry.
‘No, I don’t want to meet some guy-but I’m saying maybe I should. One day, I’m going to have to, right?’ I said, feeling a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t even like any of the guys I’d met. They stank-and it was more than a little off putting.
‘Fuck it then,’ she said, heading for the door. ‘Let’s forget it,’ she said angrily.
‘Dax, wait!’
‘No,’ she said, whirling on me. ‘Because I’ve been thinking the same, damn thing! I love being with you, Fiya! I absolutely, fucking love it! Do you think I want to be going into something like this knowing that’s it going to be over as soon as it starts? I don’t! I really, damn well don’t!’ she yelled. ‘And you know what? When I said I could fall for you, I was lying…’
