Love Notes, page 9
‘Because I’m sharp like a knife as opposed to soft and sweet. Men don’t often like strong women. They want sugar and spice and everything nice.’
Dylan stares at me from across the desk. ‘You’ve got the spice, Merc. I’m sure the right man will bring out the sugar. Since when do you worry about someone liking you anyway? You’re Mercy Alexander, musician extraordinaire, who says what she wants without regret.’
‘I know, but even you hate that part of me, and we’re friends.’
‘We wouldn’t be friends if I hated any parts of you. Do you sometimes have a way with words that often leaves me without any? Yes. But it’s nothing I’d ever hate you for. I’m sure Brooks will be the same.’
I grin proudly. Dylan is loyal to his friends. He grew up wealthy, and because of that, he never could tell who was hanging out with him for the money and experiences and who really liked him for him. So, like me, he doesn’t extend his friend circle often. I’m honestly honored he considers me his best friend. We work so well together, and I trust him. I don’t say that about many people.
‘Can I tell you something uncomfortable?’
‘Is “uncomfortable” code for “personal”?’
‘You know it is,’ I say.
I sit my burger on the paper, pressing my lips together while I find my words. ‘Since I turned thirty, I feel… off track? Does that make sense? People my age are working towards a life they want, getting married, having kids, and besides my career, I have no idea what I want. Though, lately, I dream of something I’ve previously banned from thought.’
‘Like?’ he asks curiously as he eats.
‘Like, I dunno – my own happily-ever-after? Hearing you go on about how I deserve to be loved the other night, seeing the way you look at Cassie—’
‘I don’t look at Cassie in any “way”.’ He air quotes that last word with one hand as he defends himself.
Cassie is a musician we work closely with. She plays piano and cello, and she adores Dylan. We’re talking heart-eyes and middle-school-crush vibes.
‘Oh-kay…’ I say like I believe him. ‘Anyway, with the many weddings we play, and Hollyn’s all-romance-all-the-time attitude, it has me wondering if it’s possible for me, and that’s dangerous, Dyl. I’m starting to daydream of a romantic fairy-tale life. For the first time ever, I feel like I deserve more, and I blame you and Hols.’
Dylan chuckles to himself, sipping his soda before speaking. ‘You blame me for making you finally see your worth?’
‘Yes.’
‘Happy to help,’ he says with a shake of his head. ‘You’re the most impossible-to-understand woman I’ve ever met, but despite that, if anyone deserves a fairy-tale life, it’s you, Merc.’
‘First, you buy me my favorite lunch, then you compliment me. Are you up to something?’
‘No,’ he says, bewildered. ‘Just trying to be nice. I’ve got some things going through my head, too, ya know.’
‘Talk to me. What’s on your mind?’
He shrugs, still eating as we talk. ‘Work stuff.’
‘You know, if you’d think less about work, you might have time to have fun.’
‘I have fun,’ he insists.
‘What time did you leave here last night?’
‘I don’t know,’ he says with his mouth full. ‘Eight?’
‘We close at six.’
‘I had stuff to do.’
‘Like?’
Right then, my phone buzzes on the desk, and our eyes move to it. When I see his name, my heart thumps. Brooks is texting me now.
‘It’s him,’ I say to Dyl, feeling a little panicky yet fluttery too.
‘What’d he say?’
‘Um…’ I grab my phone, tapping into the text nervously. ‘He says, “Hi, beautiful.” That’s sweet,’ I swoon. ‘Then, “Am I allowed to say that when we’re just friends? I mean, it’s true but is it too romantical? I don’t know, you tell me. Anyway, what are you up to tonight?”’
Dylan grins, sipping his drink through the straw. ‘Based on the smile on your face alone, I’d say you’re good with the “beautiful” thing. You’ve got a gig with Cassie tonight, right?’
I nod. ‘Piano bar duel.’
‘Invite him.’
‘Don’t you think Barrel Room’s a little romantic for a friend date?’
‘Only if you plan on doing him on top of one of those pianos.’
I laugh. ‘I’m not insane publicly… and I don’t think that’s what he wants. He never mentioned starting back up our old shenanigans. We agreed on friends.’
‘Wasn’t impressed, was he?’ Dyl says jokingly. ‘Bring River. He’s a definite romance killer.’
‘He is, isn’t he?’ I say, nodding.
Before answering Brooks’s text, I call Riv. I might as well play it safe; otherwise, I will end up in that bathroom with my new old friend, and I’m hoping to give him a better impression of me than I have in the past. For reasons I am currently unsure of.
‘What up, loser?’ Riv answers the same way he greets every caller, minus his parents.
‘Hola, cock dog. You have plans tonight, so dress like a normal human being and not a boy-band member, please.’
He laughs into the phone. ‘Cock dog? A little offensive but funny. I approve. What plans do I got?’
‘We’re hanging out.’
For a moment, he’s so quiet I wonder if he’s hung up. ‘Do we not already do that enough?’
I’m almost offended, but he’s not entirely wrong. ‘Stop pretending you don’t like it.’
‘If I like it depends on where we’re going and if you’re paying?’
‘Barrel Room, and sure, I’ll pay for three drinks and drive. Now, are you in?’
‘Free booze? Hell yeah, I’m in. Ya shoulda opened with that, and this convo could’ve been much shorter. What time?’
‘I’m leaving at seven.’
My phone beeps in my ear with another incoming call. I pull the phone from my head to see who it is. Hols. ‘Gotta go, Riv. See ya tonight.’ I hang up and switch calls. ‘Hey, Hols. What’s up?’
‘The wedding dress I want…’ she says with a heavy sigh.
‘You’re gonna have to narrow it down, considering you’re mulling over many.’
In the last month, we’ve been to three dress appointments, all at different stores, and she left each one ‘absolutely in love’ with dresses so similar I can’t tell them apart. Now she’s got the task of narrowing it down to one.
‘The Hayley Paige ballgown is haunting me.’
‘I can see why; it’s gorgeous. I’m in as long as the maid of honor dress doesn’t need to be a cupcake dress to match. Let’s stop by the shop soon, and you can try it on again.’
‘I knew you’d be cool with it! Mom thought for sure my indecisiveness would annoy you.’
‘Never…’
‘Liar,’ she says with a chuckle, knowing me well. ‘Meet Mom and me at the shop Thursday night at five. I already made the appointment. I’ll even buy you dinner after.’
‘Free dinner with my BFF? I can’t wait.’
No way can I tell her what I’m doing tonight. She’ll insert herself too early, and it’ll be a nightmare. We chat for a few about basically nothing, as we usually do, then I hang up and flip back to Brooks’s text.
‘Alright,’ I say to Dylan, who’s scrolling through his phone as he eats and listens to my conversations. ‘I’m asking Brooks to my gig tonight. If this goes all tits up, I’m blaming you.’
‘I bet it goes exactly how you seeing him play at the bar went. He’ll be completely charmed by your talent. Do you want me to text Cass and ask her to go easy on you?’
I cock my head. ‘No. She and I duel all the time. There are no winners in piano. But you can text her and ask her to stop by your place after.’
He laughs like I’m kidding. ‘That’s never going to happen. However, there are bigger tips if you play best, which you better count on if you’re paying for River to drink. Let me know if you need someone to help coax him home.’
As I type a text to Brooks inviting him to my gig tonight, that fluttery feeling is back, but this time it feels like a beehive in my chest. I need to move slowly with this man, or I am for sure going to get stung.
9
MERCY
The Barrel Room is cool. It’s in Old Town Portland, just a couple blocks from the river. Dylan and I each play here once a month, sometimes we duel, but typically it’s us against someone else, sometimes even randoms, who surprise me with their talent. The bar’s in a super-old building with brick walls, barrels for tables, a long bar on one side of the room opposite two baby grands facing one another. Perfect for piano dueling.
‘Don’t embarrass me,’ I say to River as we walk in.
‘Right back at ya, spunk monkey,’ he says, holding the door for me. He might be the most annoying man ever, but he does have manners. Mostly.
I glare over at him. ‘Where do you come up with these names?’
‘I can’t give away my secrets; then you’d win. Why am I here anyway? You need a fake date or something?’ He follows me into the bar as I walk towards the pianos.
‘Hey, Mercy!’ Jonny, the bartender, lifts a hand to greet me.
‘Hi!’ I chirp like this is the best thing I’ve done all day. Then I glance at River. ‘If I ever needed a fake date, you wouldn’t be who got that call. You’re the annoying little brother who keeps things light and breaks up the tension.’
He scrunches his face like I’ve offended him. ‘Tension between who?’
I sit my bag on the piano bench. God, I have to tell him why he’s here. I turn to face him. ‘I invited a guy tonight.’
‘I’m not having a three-way with you two. Unless you get me drunk, then maybe…’
I groan. ‘There’s not enough alcohol in the world to tempt me of that. We’re just hanging out, but I’m nervous because he calls me beautiful and treats me, I dunno, nice? There’s something different about him, and I can’t pinpoint it. You’re here to help me not act like a complete idiot and drag him to the bathroom to do… ya know, Mercy things,’ I say with a lift of a shoulder.
River’s now laughing, running his hand through his hair that surprisingly isn’t in the man-bun yet. ‘Wow, I suspected one day your softer side would show, and you’d fall for some guy, but to happen so young, I’m shocked. I’m also surprised you’re going the opposite of your usual “wanna fuck” dudes. May I ask why?’
‘No, you may not.’
‘Why?’ he asks anyway.
I glare. ‘I said you couldn’t ask.’
‘That one was more “why can’t I?”’
‘Oh, well, that’s easy. You don’t need to know. Are we good now? Just hang out at the bar, and after Cass and I finish, help me make friendly conversation with him.’
‘I can’t believe you called me to make you look good. That was a risky move, bonerd.’
I roll my eyes. ‘I called so you would prevent me from doing him in the bathroom. Not once did I think, Bring River; he’ll make you look good. Seriously, Riv. No names. Please. Pretend you’re normal.’ I dramatically clasp my hands in front of my chest, my performance gene displaying Edie style.
‘Normal?’ He chuckles. ‘No thanks,’ he says, walking backward from me towards the bar. ‘Since my services aren’t needed yet, I’m just going to sit over here and drink. Sound good?’
‘Three,’ I remind him, holding up three fingers.
Going out with River is always like babysitting a mouthy drunk teenager. How did I forget this? I avoid going out with him at all costs because of it. But he was the only one I could turn to tonight. I’m not ready to bring the others into this, so I’m depending on River to make tonight better and not humiliating. What on earth is wrong with me? Godspeed, either way, I suppose.
‘Sure,’ he says with a nod. ‘You’ll only buy three. I promise.’
I don’t like the sound of that.
‘Good evening, Mercy,’ Cassie says as she approaches her piano.
I love Cass because she’s the opposite of me and reminds me of my best friend, Hollyn. She’s sunshiney, looks like a blonde adult Shirley Temple, and always has a smile on her pretty face. She’s played the piano since she was four. Her mom was a pianist for her local church and taught lessons her whole life. Now, after her twenty-seven trips around the sun, I’d say Cassie is one of the top players in the city.
‘Hey, Cass.’ I look over her colorful Zooey-Deschanel-style outfit and nod. ‘You look adorable, as usual. How’s things?’
For the first time, she lets out a grumble. ‘I don’t know…’
Well, that’s not like her.
‘Is, uh, something wrong?’ She’s never upset. I’m intrigued.
‘Not really, just that I hate men. Do you ever feel like that?’
I glance over at River, now laughing with the bartender and one of the bouncers, as two of the three of them do shots. ‘Only every day of my life,’ I answer flatly, sitting at the piano and stretching my fingers. ‘What happened?’
‘Last night I went on a date, only he never showed, so I sat there for an hour drinking champagne and eating the free bread before finally ordering and acting like I was alone on purpose. It was so humiliating.’
‘What’s humiliating about that? You got to eat a meal without pretending to give a shit about some guy’s fantasy football team. Trust me, it’s always best to learn they’re assholes early on,’ I say. ‘I know from experience. That said, I’m sorry. Some boys suck, but I have good news for you.’
‘What?’ She glances up from her piano.
‘Dylan asked me to tell you to call him later.’
He will kill me for this and I’m cool with that. Cassie needs a listening ear, and Lord knows Dylan needs to sweet-talk a woman. The desperation of him needing a girlfriend is starting to show in weird ways. For instance, he recently bought his cat, Mozart, a tiny bed that resembles a human bed and it sits right next to his real adult-sized bed. He always wants to hang out lately, but I just don’t have the energy. Our relationship works best when he’s dating someone. Plus, I know he likes her ’cause I’ve never seen a man blush so quickly at the sound of a woman’s name. So, if he won’t make a move, I’ll do it for him.
Immediate heart-eyes as her face lights up. ‘He did?’ Her voice raises with curiosity.
‘Yep. He said you two hadn’t talked in a while, and he wanted to catch up.’
She beams. ‘Wow, I didn’t expect that. Thanks for relaying the message. What a cutie he is.’
‘Isn’t he?’ I gush with her. ‘It’s totally my pleasure,’ I say, as the bar starts to buzz with people. ‘Shall we do this?’
‘Let’s…’ she says, playing a riff that grabs the attention of patrons.
Cassie and I sort of have this planned out. It’s not as ‘duel-ish’ as one might suspect. She plays a song, and I add to it, and vice versa. The crowd thinks we’re doing a bit but really, we’ve got a set we’ve practiced endlessly over the years.
Midway through our performance, I’m glad I took the piano facing the front door because I see the moment Brooks Hudson walks in. He looks good. Like really good and he’s not wearing anything special. Just his usual jeans, T-shirt and ball cap. This hat is a white Under Armour. I wonder how many he has ’cause I’ve seen three now.
I watch as he glances around – probably looking for me. He readjusts his ball cap while momentarily confused, then approaches the bar and orders a drink. I should’ve guessed he’d be the guy to play it casually cool after wondering if I’d stood him up. Once he chooses a barstool half a dozen away from River, he turns to look at the entertainment, and our eyes meet, only I’m coming up on a super-complicated part of this piece and I can’t do more than smile then focus. But I sense his gaze on me, and it feels like when you’re so excited about something happening tomorrow that you can’t sleep.
At the end, Cassie and I say our goodbyes. I almost asked her to stay for a drink, and then I remembered I’ve got River with me, and if he steals her out from under Dylan – who doesn’t even know he has her – he (Dylan) will kill me. And considering River’s drinking, I was quick to agree that she shouldn’t stay for a drink but rather get home because she’s got an early funeral to play tomorrow. Though I reminded her to give Dyl a call before she goes to bed, so I’m sure I’ll hear about that. But that’s a problem for future Mercy.
‘Wow,’ Brooks says after I’ve approached him at the bar. ‘That was—’ his smile is contagious as I wait for his words ‘—absolutely amazing.’
I wave a hand like anyone could do it. ‘It was nothing.’
‘Are you kidding? It was everything and then some. I didn’t expect the prodigy thing to be true, but Julio wasn’t lying.’
I roll my eyes playfully. At this moment, River approaches with two shots in his hand. ‘Well done, Chopinette. I got you a shot of tequila to celebrate your only talent. When’s your new fuckboy get here?’
‘Ugh, Riv,’ I groan as I take the shot he’s shoving my way.
Brooks grins as he lifts a single hand into the air. ‘Hi,’ he says. ‘Pretty sure I’m the fuckboy you’re referring to. I didn’t realize she’d labeled us so sweetly.’ Thankfully, he’s obviously kidding.
River’s eyes go wide as he glances between the two of us. He inspects Brooks for a hint too long to be normal, then forces a smile. ‘Oops. Cool tattoos, man,’ he says, lifting his chin.
I motion his way, only a little embarrassed by him so far. ‘This is my roommate, River. He insisted he come.’
Riv lifts a single eyebrow my way. ‘Yeah,’ he says, playing along. ‘I just can’t get enough of her and that damn piano she keeps me up with day and night.’ He downs his shot, setting the empty glass on the bar next to him.
Jesus. Why didn’t I just bring Dylan? He’s so much less obnoxious. Oh, right, because I thought it would be weird for Brooks to see me with him again. Like something is going on between us. Instead, my bright idea was to bring this fool?
