Love Notes, page 15
I glance at the notes I wrote while I met with him. He never said why he wanted this. Something about making amends, but with who? That’s probably what I need to find out.
The ringing of my phone startles Ali and me, but I grab it quick enough she doesn’t stir much. I lay my hand on her back to settle her as I answer.
‘Yeah?’ I answer quietly.
‘Hi,’ she says. ‘Is this a bad time?’
‘Well, hello, beautiful.’ I lean back against my headboard, a smile on my face involuntarily. ‘No, not a bad time at all. I’m just working from home.’
‘Do you ever stop working?’
‘Crime has no downtime, so rarely. What are you up to?’
‘I can’t sleep. It’s one of those nightly problems I usually solve with a Netflix or Hulu binge, but I’m in between shows right now. Got any suggestions?’
‘Honestly, I work when I can’t sleep, so I don’t watch much TV. What are you into?’
‘Mostly funny, ghostly, ridiculous – I just finished Supernatural for the third time.’
‘I’ve seen that one. Let me ask, are you a Dean or a Sam fan?’
‘Depends on the situation. To save my life, Dean. To romance me off my feet, Sam,’ she says, sounding quite confident of her answer.
‘You’ve thought of this before?’ I ask with a chuckle.
‘Every viewer has thought of it. The cast of this show is so beautiful it makes me feel ugly.’
‘Completely impossible, Mercy. You’re gorgeous.’
‘Can I say something sappy?’
‘Please do.’
‘You make me feel gorgeous. So, thank you for that.’
‘It’s my pleasure. I hope to do that as often as possible. Did you see there’s a new Supernatural spin-off? The Winchesters. You could try that.’
‘There is?! How do you know this if you don’t watch TV?’ she asks, the sound of a keyboard clicking in the background. ‘Also, I’m blowing by the sweet part of that because if you could hear a person blush right now, it’d be filling the phone like static.’
‘I like the sound of that. I heard about it from Norah, my ex. She was talking about it recently.’
‘Are you two close?’
Talking about Norah seems risky, but I want to know everything about Mercy, and that means I need to let her into my world too. ‘Yeah, I mean we have to be to raise our daughter together. It wasn’t easy at first, but things are smooth sailing six years later.’
‘What’s that like?’
‘What? Divorce?’
‘No, being someone’s dad. Is it weird? It must be nerve-wracking to be responsible for a tiny human. What if you screw her up?’
I laugh, running my hand over my head nervously. ‘I try not to focus on that part and take it day by day.’
‘Good idea. Oh my God, you’re right. I found it – The Winchesters. Want to watch with me?’
‘Over the phone?’
I haven’t done that since I was a teen, and Norah was on vacation with her family in Texas one summer. She insisted we watch a movie together because she missed me. Just the idea of doing this with Mercy fills me with that teens-in-love excitement.
‘It’s way better than working late into the night. Give your head a break and let someone else chase the monsters for a while.’
She doesn’t need to ask me twice. I toss the file onto my bedstand and grab my remote, following her instructions on watching this with her. We chatter about the show, and she pops the question midway through.
‘So, are you ever gonna text me details for our second date, or do I need to follow my friend’s advice and plan it myself?’
I’ve been so busy lately it’s taking me forever to do this stuff and I think it’s making her feel like I’m unsure. She’s talked about me to her friends, though. I think that’s a good thing.
‘It seems like you like me…’
‘Perhaps,’ she says playfully. ‘Honestly, I’m drawn to you in a way I don’t understand, or I’d explain it.’
‘Same as me, then.’
‘Can you explain it?’
‘I can’t. But I know I like it.’
She sighs into the phone. ‘Me too.’
‘This would probably be a good time to ask you on that date officially, wouldn’t it?’
‘Yes, it would.’
‘Mercy… would you like to go on a second date with me?’
‘I dunno,’ she says playfully. ‘Kidding, my answer is absolutely yes, but I do have a slight problem.’
Uh-oh. ‘What?’
‘My friend asked a woman on a double date and expects me to be one half of the other couple. It’s weird, I know it is, but so far, our dates have included our most obnoxious friends. Are you up for a double date with one of my less annoying friends? My business partner and co-worker?’
‘Someday, our strange connection and story will captivate a room. That said, let’s add to it. Sure, I’m up for a double date. I’ll text you details tomorrow, but this time we’re not meeting; I’m picking you up like a gentleman. We’re following all the proper dating rules from here on out.’
‘If you insist,’ she says with a laugh, but I can hear in her voice she’s intrigued.
17
MERCY
‘That’s the one,’ I say, dabbing a tissue to my weeping eyes. ‘It’s so you.’
Hollyn and I are back at the bridal shop, this time without Penny but with River.
‘Are you… crying?’ he asks, inspecting me from the chair next to me. ‘I thought your heart was made of stone?’
‘Merc has had feelings lately,’ Hollyn tells him.
She’s really pushing our secret-keeping boundaries. I shoot her a glare. ‘Don’t out me to your brother; we live together – he’ll torment me over it daily.’
‘You have feelings?’ River asks coyly.
‘And PMS. Mix those two, and this is what you get.’
‘Yikes. I’ll mark the calendar, so I’m prepared for the future.’
‘Prepared for what?’
‘Hiding from you during shark week.’
I roll my eyes. ‘You’re not good with crying women. You hide from PMS-ing women. What kind of women do you like?’
‘Horny, mostly.’ He lifts a single shoulder.
‘Gross.’
‘Do you like this dress, Riv?’ Hollyn asks, completely ignoring his previous words.
‘Not even a little,’ he says, not worried a bit about hurting her feelings. ‘You look like one of those Barbie birthday cakes. I bet Dax would prefer something sexier. Which is weird to say to your sister, but I promised him I wouldn’t allow a princess look.’
‘He hates the idea of a princess gown?’
‘Yep, but he’s on board with a sexy-as-fuck queen… where do I find those dresses?’ He stands, wandering the shop and looking through racks of dresses for a revealing dress his sister can marry his best friend in.
‘He said that?’ Hols swoons hard, then comes to reality. ‘Riv, there’s zero way you’ll pick a dress I’d ever wear,’ she says, now watching him as he lifts dresses for her approval. ‘It’s the most important dress of my life,’ she reminds him as she repeatedly shakes her head with each one until he pulls one out, making her gasp.
‘It looks good on the hanger,’ I say, knowing there’s no way she’s going to fall in love with a dress her brother picked.
Hols’s eyes meet mine. ‘I kind of want to try it on.’
‘Ma’am?’ River yells, glancing around for the woman previously helping us. ‘Hello? Miss? Does anyone work here?’
‘Yes, sir.’ She appears beside him.
‘She’d like to try this on, please, and we would like the complimentary champagne.’ He motions between him and me. ‘Booze will help stop the tears,’ he says to me like it’s some magic cure-all he’s discovered.
‘I can fetch the champagne; yes, however, that’s not the dress style Miss Matthews requested.’
‘Exactly,’ River says. ‘Her style sucks, so we’re going in a new direction.’
‘Says the guy wearing teal leopard-print skinny jeans, yellow Converse, and currently looks like a missing member of the once famous – now forgotten – LMFAO…’ I mumble.
‘My style does not suck,’ Hols protests.
‘Nor does mine,’ River says with a glare.
‘I’d never considered sexy for my wedding day, but I bet Dax would like that more than fluffy cotton-candy girl.’
‘And your father will be thrilled.’ I laugh.
‘He’s giving her away. What the hell does he care what she wears?’ River asks, his annoying little brother persona shoving through.
As Hollyn changes into the dress River’s picked – and he downs a glass of champagne in one swallow – I wander the bridesmaid dress section. Hollyn hasn’t settled on a style yet. Maybe I can influence her, so I don’t have to wear some frilly dress I’ll burn afterward. I start in the black dress section. You can’t go wrong in black.
Black with ruffles and bows. Pass. I flip to the following dress.
Black and from the Kardashian line. Mega-pass.
Black and fluffy tulle. Vomit-pass.
Black and vintage-y. Stop.
I pull out a dress that’s very date night as opposed to black tie wedding. It’s a little bit Audrey Hepburn with a hint of Marilyn Monroe. Totally me, and I have a date tomorrow night. Pretty sure that requires new clothing.
I sneak into a dressing room and strip quickly, trying on the dress before I’m discovered. If I’m going on an actual date while following these supposed dating rules – I don’t know – I’m dressing up; I don’t care where we’re going.
Oh my God, it’s perfect. I suck in my breath as I turn in every direction, and with each glance, I fall in love with it a little more. Perhaps I’ll be overdressed, but who cares. Hols has to see this. I step out of the dressing room at the same time she does.
‘Ho-ly sexy wedding dress, Batman,’ I say, looking her up and down. ‘It looks better on you than the hanger!’
The dress River picked is beautiful. It’s a super-feminine ivory-colored silhouette, fitted through the bodice and hips, with the appearance of boning, delicate rose lace, and upper arm straps. It’s totally her. Romantic and gorgeous.
‘Right back at ya,’ she says, inspecting what I’m wearing. ‘Maid of honor dress?’
‘I was thinking date-night dress…’
‘Date two?’ Hollyn asks excitedly.
I nod, worried that even confirming the words out loud might jinx me.
‘When is it?’
‘Tomorrow night.’
‘Buy. It,’ she says, now walking to the pedestal with the saleswoman.
One more look at it in the mirror, and it’s sold. ‘Welcome to my collection,’ I say as I peel it off and get dressed again. ‘I have the perfect shoes for you.’
I exit the dressing room, date dress in hand, and see Hollyn mesmerized by her mirror reflection. Tears start to flow, and the sales lady hands her a tissue. I think this might be the one.
‘Oh, my God, River was right,’ Hols cries.
‘Again…?’ I glance his way, my brow furrowed.
He glares in return. ‘You two act so surprised, but I’m always right. You just refuse to see it.’ He steps in front of his sister with a wide grin. ‘This is the dress, not that cupcake princess thing.’
My phone rings while River circles Hollyn, telling her what he knows Dax will like, respectfully, because she is his sister.
‘Hello?’
‘Hey,’ Dylan says. ‘I have that gig in Seattle tomorrow morning, so I’m leaving now. You busy?’
‘Now?’
‘Tonight.’
‘I had big plans of scrolling the internet and laughing at the idiocy on Reddit, maybe watching another episode of The Winchesters, but other than that and annoying River, no big plans.’
‘Good, I need you to feed Mozart. Dinner tonight. Breakfast tomorrow morning. Seven and seven. And scoop the litter box.’
Mozart is Dylan’s spoiled rotten cat, and he’s on a strict feeding schedule ’cause he’s fat as fuck. He’s also an asshole and a half.
‘I’m not shoveling that cat’s shit. I’ll feed him, but if he bites me again, he’s getting the emergency dry food at the back of the cabinet.’
‘Don’t abuse my cat,’ he snaps. ‘Follow my cat care instructions on the fridge only. Please, Merc. Are you sure you’ll be alright running the shop on your own tomorrow?’
‘I’m not going to abuse your cat, you freak. Well, verbally, maybe. Must I remind you that I’m not fifteen and at my first-ever job?’
‘Sometimes I wonder…’
‘Well, stop wondering and remember we own this shop together, so yeah, pretty sure I can handle a day without you. I’ve got lessons all day. It’ll be nice. No one will be barking orders at me from the back room or making me feel bad for taking an hour-long break. Just make it back in time for our weird date.’
‘I’m looking forward to nothing more,’ he says sarcastically.
‘This is the one,’ Hollyn says as I hang up, still dabbing the tears from her eyes. ‘What do you think, Merc?’
I stand and join River in front of her. The saleswoman adds a veil to her blonde head, and suddenly, it’s real. River and I glance at one another. If I didn’t know any better, I’d also think I saw a glistening of tears in his eyes. Our best friends are getting married – to each other.
‘I was wrong before; this is the one. I love it,’ I say, grabbing a tissue from the box as River rolls his eyes.
‘Girls and their endless tears. Ring it up!’ he says to the saleswoman. ‘I got to get out of here before I turn into one of you weepy losers.’
I go to Dylan’s apartment at seven on the dot as ordered. His apartment is cozy. A brown leather sofa sits against one wall. His grandmother’s painting of an ocean hangs on the wall above it. One side is sunny and whimsical, and the other shows a storm approaching from a distance. I love this painting because it reminds me of Dylan and me. Each of us represented on the same canvas.
A black vintage chest is in front of his couch as his coffee table. Music books are perfectly stacked by size in the center with a houseplant he’s successfully kept alive perched on top. A large bowed lamp, the light glowing through a black fabric shade, is positioned over a black side chair that looks straight from a cigar bar in the fifties.
He’s one of those people who doesn’t own a TV; anything he watches is on the screen of his laptop. So instead of the room being centered around a television, he has a wall of bookshelves full of antique books, music and instruments. I glance at the photos he’s chosen to display. Him at his brother’s college graduation. A picture of him in high school at his parents’ lake house. A family photo at Christmas. Even one of him and me backstage at a La La Land show.
‘Mozart.’ I call the cat’s name as I enter the kitchen, digging through his cabinets for food. God forbid this creature eat dry kibble. He feeds him expensive canned food in bowls with his name inscribed on the front. If that says anything, it’s that Dylan needs a girlfriend.
Something brushing against my ankles earns my attention, and I notice Satan has snuck up on me.
‘Hey, asshole,’ I greet him, causing him to look up and notice I am not Dylan. He jumps onto the counter near me, staring as I prepare his meal. ‘I’m not mashing it with a fork like he does. You get it can shaped, and if that’s not good enough, well fuck you.’
Fuck you is the exact look on this cat’s fuzzy face. He’s one of those angry-looking flat-faced cats. Gray, fluffy and just cute enough that you want to touch him, but if you do, he’ll maul you because he thinks he’s king of this apartment. I know from experience.
I toss the can and lid into Dyl’s trash and slowly slide the bowl across the counter to Mozart, who sniffs it but doesn’t dig in, just glares.
‘Well? He’s going to call me in an hour and verify I haven’t starved you to death, so eat.’
His eyes move to the bowl on the floor, nearly empty of its water. I grab it, dump the contents into the sink then open Dylan’s fridge to grab a bottle of water. Yes, bottled water only is on his cat care list. Ooh, he also has wine. That’s not on his list, but I pull it out as well, grab a mug from his open cabinets, and pour myself a cup as I water the feline.
‘You deserve toilet water at most,’ I say as I set it next to the food. Mozart hisses in return, then dips his paw into the water dish and licks it off like a spoiled-rotten princess.
As I wait for him to feed himself, I wander the apartment, running my fingers along the top of Dylan’s baby grand piano, the focal point of the living room. I sit down on the bench and lift the cover from the keys. I’ve played this piano a hundred times, but it feels brand new tonight.
I glance at the cat, who’s still drinking water from his paw. His gaze is on me, though.
‘Do you need mood music to eat? Because I’ve not got all night slow, poke.’ Yes, I do. Who am I kidding?
My fingers meander over the keys as I start ‘Mia & Sebastian’s Theme’ from La La Land. The photo of Dylan and me reminds me of it. It’s a movie I own on DVD and digitally in my Amazon Prime account, so it’s available anytime I need a reminder that life can be both beautiful and painful all at once, and that’s completely normal.
I haven’t played this song in so long, but it returns quickly. The fluttery feeling I had as I watched the movie for the first time races through my chest when the song gets dramatic. In the film, this song happens at my favorite parts. One is when Mia sees Sebastian playing and falls in love with him at first sight. A feeling not returned immediately and utterly foreign to me. Love at first sight? I mean, come on. There’s no possible way that’s a thing, right? I didn’t think so. But the scene rolling through my mind isn’t Mia and Sebastian this time; it’s Brooks at the bar that night when he suddenly came back into my life. It’s the night he watched me play the piano. It’s every night I’ve seen him since we saw one another. I stop playing mid-song. Holy shit-oli. Brooks gives me this same fluttery feeling. Huh. What the hell do I do with this realization? I have no idea, so I play it again to verify.
