A Change of Heart, page 16
“Oh, yes.” He doesn’t stop pacing. “That’s usually a very effective method of dealing with things.”
I spend the next hour or so explaining everything to him. How my magic came to me the night of my twenty-eighth birthday, how I kept waking up covered in plants and butterflies, all of the times I lost control in front of other people and worried that I would get caught. I tell him everything that my mother had told me.
And I don’t mention Catherine once.
He keeps pacing until I mention my mother and then he sits back down and when I tell him about my mother trading me for her dying baby, he puts his hand on my back and I don’t try and hide the tears from him.
I shouldn’t have been keeping this from him.
When I’ve talked myself hoarse, and he’s gone back to pacing, he looks deeper into the woods. “So, you’ve been coming out here, away from everyone, to try and learn to control your magic?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “I don’t know what I’m doing, and it’s been very slow, but I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere.”
“Good.” He gives one sharp nod. “Good, I’m glad that you’re gaining control.” He looks back toward the house. “We should get back. I wasn’t lying when I said your father wants to talk to you.”
“I can’t tell him.” I say, standing up. “I haven’t been able to talk to him, not really, since this all started happening. I can’t be the one to tell him what my mom did, and if he finds out that I’m fae before then, he’s going to assume something else.”
“No. You’re right, she has to be the one to tell him. But he’s still gonna wanna know where you were, and I suggest coming up with something better than ‘taking a walk.’”
I laugh. “I wasn’t expecting to run into you. I’ve been pretty good at not getting caught up until today. I was feeling a bit triumphant I guess, and that made me sloppy.” That’s not true, and I don’t like that I’ve lied to him again already, but I can’t tell him that I was thinking about Catherine.
“Okay. Well maybe you should start the conversation about the princess.”
“The conversation about how I can’t marry her? I don’t know if that’s gonna work.”
“Your mother will help you navigate it though. And it’s not as though the princess seems as though she’s excited to marry you either, so she’s not going to be upset. And the king hasn’t even made the betrothal official yet.”
“The gossip that is going to travel through the court is definitely going to upset her, official or not.”
“Yes, but the gossip about this will be nicer than the gossip that will come after someone notices something a year from now or ten years from now when you don’t look any different.”
My stomach feels lead again. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about all of this before. Of course, I can’t marry the princess. Of course, I can’t carry on with my normal life at court. I have time to make my exit, but I can’t stay here indefinitely.
“Right.” I cover my face with my hands. “Come on, let’s get back to the house.”
28
The sun is about to set when I hear someone moving around outside. I open the door and step outside. I’ve been so down all day, and at the thought of seeing Emery, I immediately perk up.
But it’s not Emery.
It’s his friend from that night at the pub.
We both look at one another in silence for a minute, and then he nods, his shoulders falling slack. “You know. Those old men at the bar were telling everyone that they thought you were fae. I shouldn’t have been so quick to dismiss them.”
“Evening, Kohl.” I clasp my hands in front of me and tilt my head. “What are you doing out here?”
“Well, I thought that Emery had told me everything this morning, but it turns out that he did not. He didn’t tell me that he was hiding you in the woods. In a little cottage. On his property.”
I shift from one foot to the other. “He told you everything else?”
“Yes. About his magic and all that.”
“I assumed as much after you called me fae.”
“I didn’t call you fae. I said the old men at the bar though you were fae. I think you’re a witch.” He raises his brows and tilts his head. “You are a witch, aren’t you?”
“You seem decidedly okay with all of this.”
“He’s my brother.”
“Yes, but you’ve grown up to view magic as evil.”
“You don’t know that.”
“No?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “Have you been helping him?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
I let go of my hands and cross my arms over my chest. “Because he needs help. And he helped me.”
He rubs a hand over his cropped dark hair. “Is that what we’re calling it?”
I roll my eyes and lean against the door frame. “No. We slept together, but that wasn’t what I was referring to. I had been cursed, and Emery broke the curse. And so now I am helping him.”
“Awfully kind of you.”
“Yes. I’m awfully kind.” I tilt my chin up. “And it seems that you are as well.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I’m not. I’m not awfully kind. I’m actually a real piece of work. Emery brings out the best in me, and because of that, I’m extremely protective of him.”
“Good. He deserves friends like that. Who in your family has magic?”
He smirks and tilts his head to the side. “My mother. She’s a witch. Like you?”
“Probably not like me.” I shrug.
“Are you fae like Emery?”
“No.” I shake my head. “It has been a challenge to teach him to use magic that I don’t have myself. But we’ve been doing our best.”
“Is that all you’ve been doing?”
I snort. “Yes. It is.”
He nods. “Alright. I believe you.”
“Yeah?”
“You and I can be friends.” He nods again.
“Alright. Would you like some tea or something?”
“He’s stocked you up on tea?” He sounds skeptical again.
“No. I know how to forage quite well. I’ve stocked the cottage up myself. Though he does bring breakfast most mornings when he comes down to practice with his magic.” I cross my arms. “How did you find out?”
“I confronted him for sneaking out all the time. He kept looking back here, so I decided to just go into the woods to find out what he was hiding. He followed me and stopped me with his magic. He came clean about everything but you.”
I frown. What did it mean that he told his friend everything except that I’m here? I know that he’s been worried about making sure that our relationship was entirely platonic, that there was no doubt about what was going on between the two of us. Perhaps he didn’t believe that Kohl would have believed him, maybe he worried about Kohl’s judgment because of the betrothal.
“Well, we’ll have to ask him why when we see him.”
“Is he coming back today?”
“I don’t know. We mainly only see each other in the morning, but sometimes he’ll drop off dinner. Not usually though.”
“Not usually.” He nods. “So, the two of you are friends?”
“Yes.” I nod. “Who is your mother?”
He doesn’t seem surprised by my changing the subject. “Her name is Sylvia Kern.”
“Does she knew Oli?”
“Everyone knows Oli.” He nods.
“I’ve been spending a lot of my time in Oli’s shop. I make charms while Emery tries to use his magic, and then I take them down there for her to sell.”
“So, you’re not just stuck in the woods. That’s good.” He walks over and starts inspecting the cottage. “It’s not as run down as I remember it being.”
“I’ve fixed it up.”
“You and Emery?”
“He helped clean it a bit on the first day, but no. I fixed it myself.” I open my hand, palm up, and then curl my fingers one by one, a small swirl of water appearing above them. It spins above my hand and then changes from water to fire, and then it changes again to a gust of wind. “My magic is quite useful for restoring old stone cottages.”
He watches my small display with interest, a small smile growing on his lips. “Very neat. My mother has only ever practiced small magic. Says she’s never been tempted to do anything bigger.”
“It’s likely I’ll run into her sooner or later at Oli’s.”
“It is likely.” He agrees, and then he hesitates for a moment. “My sister is following in her footsteps. She’s just a little sprout now, but she’s friends with Lima, and they’re learning together.”
“I’m glad that Lima has someone her own age to spend time with.” I smile. “I’m also glad that Emery has a friend like you to put his trust in.”
“Yeah. Me too. I feel kind of guilty for laying into him though, since I was keeping a secret from him as well.”
“It wasn’t your secret though.” I shrug. “You know he’ll understand.”
“I do.” He nods.
“And what about you? Have you ever had any interest in learning to wield magic?”
“Oh, I don’t think I can.”
“Sure, you can. If magic runs in your mother’s blood, then it runs in yours too.”
“I thought only girls could be witches.”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair, pushing off the door frame. “Well then you can call yourself a sorcerer or something if you’d like, but the term witch does not only apply to women.”
“A sorcerer?”
“Yes. There’s also the term wizard, but that has some other connotation to it, so I wouldn’t pick that one if I were you.”
“I didn’t even say that I wanted to learn.”
“I saw your eyes light up when I told you it was possible. Maybe you can come down here with Emery tomorrow and I can teach the both of you together.”
He rubs his hand along his jaw. “Emery might not want to share you with me.”
“Share me?” I shake my head. “I’m beholden to no one and can choose to spend my time with whoever I please. Emery is betrothed to the princess-“
“Not really.” Kohl interrupts. “And that entire situation is only for now.”
“Yes, for now.” I nod, but then I narrow my eyes slightly. “Why did you say for now?”
“Because he’s fae. That means he’s immortal right? It might take them a decade or so to realize that he’s not aging, but they will eventually realize. He can’t marry into the royal family.”
“You came to that conclusion already?”
“Almost immediately.” He nods. “Told Emery too. Why didn’t you?”
“He’s not had an easy go of coming to terms with everything. I didn’t know how he’d take it coming from me.”
“You like him, don’t you?”
I scoff, but I don’t say no. “I’m seven hundred years old. I won’t be teased about whether or not I like a boy.”
His eyes go wide. “Seven hundred years old? You look only a few years older than my sister.”
“I thought you said your sister was a small child?”
“She’s eleven.” He shrugs. “There’s no way you’re seven hundred.”
“Ask your mother about me if you want. Catherine Redford. Most witches have heard about me from someone or other. I like to make friends with witches. They tend to live a little longer than non-magic women.”
“Maybe a little longer, but how-“
“My immortality was the curse that Emery broke.”
He laughs. “You know how many men would kill to be immortal?”
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Very lonely really.” My bird caws from the roof of the cottage and we both turn to look at her. “Does she look like a Hilda to you?”
“The bird?”
“Yes. I’m trying to name her.”
He tilts his head to inspect her. “Hilda. Yeah, she could be a Hilda.”
“But you think there’s a better name?”
“Runa.”
“Runa?” I look at my bird and smile. “She is a Runa, isn’t she?” I look back at him. “How did you do that?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s just what she looks like.”
“And what do you think? Do you like the name Runa?” I ask the bird. She caws happily and pecks at the stone shingles. “Alright, then that’s your name now. Brilliant.” I clap my hands together.
I have a hard time getting a read on Emery when he comes down with Kohl the next morning. It’s clear to me that Kohl told him about how he came out here and found me, and probably about our conversation, but I don’t know how he feels about it. Probably not great since his friend sneaked around behind his back to find the place he’d been practicing his magic, and then found me, who he intentionally kept from Kohl.
I can tell he’s holding something back, and I don’t think it’s anger. I can’t tell what it is.
“Good morning, lads!” I smile and wave at the two of them as they approach the cottage. With all the times Emery has used the exact same route to get down here, there should be a path leading from the estate to the cottage, but since plants seem to follow in his footsteps, there is always new growth to cover where a path would be. Now that he’s starting to gain some control, he’ll be able to cover his tracks more purposefully. If Kohl had waited even a few more days to come looking in the woods, he probably wouldn’t have been able to find me.
Though, covering the path he takes to this cottage every day isn’t a long term plan. Because my staying hidden in this cottage isn’t a long term plan.
“Good morning, Catherine!” Kohl waves back, a large smile on his face. “And Runa!” He looks around for my bird, who caws when she hears her name. She’s perched on one of the branches of the tallest tree that Emery grew yesterday.
“Are you ready to try and make some fruit producing plants today, Emery?” I ask, motioning toward the small orchard I’ve been cultivating behind the cottage. I’d love some more variety. Now that I need food to sustain myself, I’m enjoying it a lot more than I ever did as an immortal, and I want to try everything I can get my hands on. Raspberries have been a recent craving. I found an almost depleted blackberry bush the other day and it’s had me itching to try raspberries. Are they sweeter? Juicier? I don’t know, but I want to find out. And I know a fae who can grow plants indiscriminately, so I intend to find out soon.
“Fruit plants? We’re just gonna dive right in?” Emery runs a hand through his hair.
“I think so, yes.” I nod. “Unless you think we should start somewhere else?”
“We brought breakfast.” Kohl says, taking a basket from Emery’s hand that I hadn’t noticed. “Do you wanna eat?”
“Yes! I can’t believe I forgot about breakfast! I’ve been so excited to get started finding out what affinities you’ll have that I haven’t even thought about what to eat once since I woke up. Except raspberries. I can’t seem to stop thinking about raspberries.”
“Unfortunately, we didn’t bring any of those.” Kohl taps me on the shoulder as he walks past me. “He is very upset with me.” He says quietly. “But he’s doing that thing where he’s pretending that he’s not-“
“What on earth could you be whispering to her, when I’m right here?”
“Nothing!” Kohl rushes past me. “Mind if I get the door?”
“Not at all!” He pulls the cottage door opens and steps inside, probably checking the place out.
“Why didn’t you tell him about me?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest before Emery can say anything. He raises his brows.
“Because I know him, and I know what he’s thinking. And what he’s thinking has led him to feel the need to chaperon my magic lessons now.”
“Piss poor chaperon leaving us alone almost immediately.” I look over my shoulder and can just barely see Kohl setting the table through the window. “Is that the only reason?” I look back at him.
He looks over my face and presses his lips together. “What other reason would I have to keep you from him?”
“I don’t know. Do you feel like we’re doing something wrong?”
He snorts. “Yes. Of course, I do. I live in a kingdom where magic is illegal, where it can get you banished or executed. Everything we do out here is wrong.”
“What we’re doing is illegal, but that doesn’t make it wrong. Do you feel like what we’re doing is wrong?” I ask again.
He shifts his jaw from side to side and straightens. “No. And now Kohl will know too.”
I brush my hair back behind my ears and turn around. “Let’s go and eat.”
“Good. Yes.”
Kohl is in good spirits all morning, even though he isn’t successful in his magical endeavors. I’ve spent centuries teaching other witches how to use their magic, and I know that he’s got magic, so I know that he’ll get it eventually. His good spirits will only aide him.
Emery is not in good spirits and his bad mood is effecting his control. He’s managed to keep his dam down for most of the morning, but whatever control he found yesterday is gone today. He stands near my favorite pear tree with his hands balled into fists as he tries to make a raspberry bush sprout in front of him. There are plenty of other plants growing up all around him, and Kohl is impressed by the display even if it’s all accidental.
I’ll probably have to remove a lot of the plants from the orchard after he leaves.
“I’m not getting anywhere today.” He says, and it has been a couple of hours since breakfast.
I leave Kohl with a single candle resting on a stump in front of him, tasked with lighting the wick, and walk over to Emery.
“Kohl isn’t here to babysit you.” I say. “He’s here because I offered to teach him magic.”
“Kohl doesn’t have any magic.” Emery quickly unclenches and re-clenches his hands.
“Not that he knows how to use, but if his mother has magic, then he should too. It very rarely skips over a direct descendant.” Emery grumbles. “Are you upset that he didn’t tell you about his mother and sister?”
