'It's ok Holly I won't go in there darling. I'll let you have your dream come true. But you have to do me a favour.'

  'Anything,' Holly said with unbearable excitement.

  'Don't tell your mum I came back okay.'

  Holly nodded.

  'Do you promise?'

  'Yes, I promise.'

  'Happy birthday Holly,' Jada said as she turned around and walked away.

  20

  'Quieten down please,' Mrs Bush, the schools art teacher said in a raised voice. 'Johnny sit down and stop doing that,' she said to a little brown haired boy who was pulling the pigtails of the girl who sat in front. Mrs Bush was a small round woman with her black hair pulled tightly into a bun at the back of her head. Her features were soft and her eyes kind.

  'Today we are going to be doing family portraits, now I want you to go in two's and collect the paper and pens from the art cupboard. We'll start off from this table and move upwards; Polly and Sam you go first.'

  The children obediently rose from their desk and gathered the material needed from the art cupboard.

  'Who are you going to paint?' Holly asked Emily when they sat back at their desks after their turn.

  'I've got an idea, why don't you paint my family and I'll paint yours, it's silly trying to paint ourselves,' she said.

  'Okay Emily, I'll make you look really pretty,' she said looking at her best friend like a puppy.

  Emily smiled sweetly. 'Thanks,' and started drawing.

  When the class had finished, Holly showed Emily her final product, a picture of David, Laura, James and Emily sat together smiling. Emily was impressed.

  'That's a good try,' she said.

  'Can I see yours?' Holly asked trying to take a peek.

  'No, not yet, wait until I show the whole class, I think you'll like it,' Emily said.

  Mrs Bush called each of the children to the front of the class to present their work. Emily was the last to be called.

  'Right Emily, would you like to tell us about the people in your portrait,' she said sitting down on her seat.

  'Yes, I've drawn a portrait of Holly's family.' She turned her picture towards the class showing the three figures. 'This is Holly, she said pointing to the little figure with two bunched pig tails, this is her mum Sarah and this...' she stopped dramatically and looked at Holly, '...is Jada, Holly's mum's girlfriend'. She swirled around from her left side to her right so each of the pupils could see.

  Holly stood up and glared at Emily. 'No it isn't why are you saying that! She's my mum's friend!' she cried.

  'She's her girlfriend, I heard her say it with my own ears,' Emily said smugly as she returned to her seat.

  She looked over at Holly who had sat back down, and was covering her face with her hands, trying to block out the sniggering from the other children.

  Mrs Bush looked stunned and for a few seconds she couldn't speak.

  'Quiet please,' she said clapping her hands together in a short succession

  The sniggering and nudging of the next person continued. 'I said quiet,' she said, raising her voice. 'The next person I hear a sound from will be explaining to the headmaster exactly what they find funny. Emily, that was not a very nice thing to do to your friend, I want to talk to you after class,' she said seriously.

  'but miss - ' Emily whined.

  '- I don't want to hear another word.'

  The school bell broke the silence. The children rose quickly in an effort to go and spread the gossip. Mrs Bush thought to herself sadly, children can be so cruel. She sighed, she was grateful she had decided to be childfree.

  'Holly can you also stay behind please,' she said gently.

  'Emily you wait outside until I come and get you.' Emily stood up and joined a bunch of sniggering girls as they all left the classroom.

  Mrs Bush took a seat beside Holly, who was crying quietly now. She did not know what to do about comforting the weeping child. She thought maybe it was best that she asked her mother to come and collect her. It was unfortunate that the situation had to be dealt with this way, it was as though Holly were being punished but she'd prefer her to go home rather than be taunted all day. And for such a malicious act to come from Emily, who would have thought it.

  'Let's go to see the headmaster,' she said taking her limp hand. She left Holly sitting outside while she went in to talk to the headmaster.

  'What can I do for you?' he asked.

  'I had an incident in class today... Emily Peterson, how can I put it - well she...sort of outed Holly's mum as a lesbian to the whole class.'

  'I see...' he said thoughtfully. 'We've been having a few problems with Emily's brother fighting, apparently the father has moved out and these problems seem to be stemming from that.'

  'I thought maybe it would be best to send Holly home today, she is very upset and I don't want her to be taunted for the rest of the day.'

  'Ok, I will call Holly's mum to come and get her. Can you also send Emily to me so I can speak to her; I think it's best we also inform her mother.'

  Mrs Bush left the office and walked back to the classroom. Emily was still stood outside the door.

  'The headmaster wants to see you, so go there now,' she said sternly.

  Tears began to stream down Emily's face as she walked down the corridor to the headmaster's office and knocked on his door.

  'Come in.'

  Emily opened the door and sat down, Mr Picard handed her a tissue.

  'That was a very vindictive and hurtful thing you did to Holly today,' he said to her with a hint of anger in his voice. 'Can you explain to me why you did it?'

  'I don't know why, I just thought everyone should know,' she whined.

  'No, you did it to humiliate your friend in front of everyone; there was no reason to tell anyone in that manner, you could have spoken to Holly about it privately. Anyway, I have called your mother and she will be coming to see me this afternoon. You can go out to play now, and I do not want to hear that you have been discussing this further with anyone, do I make myself clear?'

  'Yes sir,' she said barely audibly.

  Half an hour later there was a firm knock on the door. Mr Picard opened it to find Holly's mum standing there, concern on her face.

  'Please come in,' he said.

  Sarah stepped into his office to see Holly looking small and dishevelled sitting in a chair that was bigger than she was. She dropped her bag on the floor and went to her, kneeling beside her. She took her hand in hers. 'Are you okay my baby?' she said, her voice shaking with emotion.

  Holly nodded weakly.

  'Come on,' she said softly, 'let's get you home.' She stood up and faced Mrs Bush who had come to join them.

  'I'm terribly sorry this happened this way, I had no way of stopping it, the class were only drawing family portraits,' she said with guilt written across her face.

  'It's not your fault,' Sarah said sincerely as she took Holly's hand. 'Thank you for looking after her,' she said as they left the office.

  As they approached the entrance, James ran speedily towards them. 'Holly!' he shouted. They both turned and waited for him. He was breathless when he reached them.

  'Hello Aunt Sarah,' he said to Sarah first, then he looked at Holly, sorrow in his eyes. 'I'm sorry Emily did that to you,' he said.

  She raised her eyes to meet his. 'That's okay.'

  'No - it's not,' he said, 'it was a cruel thing to do...and a lot of people think so too.'

  'They do?' she said looking hopeful.

  'Yes,' he said reassuringly. 'When you come to school tomorrow, I'll walk you to your class, if anyone has anything to say, they can say it to me first,' he said gallantly.

  Sarah leant over and kissed the top of his head. 'Thanks James,' she said.

  'That's alright,' he said blushing. 'See you tomorrow then Holly,' he said before running off to his next class.

  Sarah was pleased to see the colour had come back into Holly's pale skin. They drove home in silence after Holly insisted she didn't want to talk about what happened. Sarah felt sick to her stomach that she had been the cause of her child's humiliation. She thought about what Joe had said the evening before, about them making a go of it again as a family - a normal family, where they could all fit in. She looked at Holly and knew she had to make a decision, and fast.

  ***

  When they got home, Holly went to her room and shut the door. Sarah made herself a coffee. How do I approach this, she thought to herself. She set her cup down on the worktop and walked to Holly's door. She gave a gentle tap and then opened it slowly.

  'Can we talk?' she asked standing at the doorway.

  Holly nodded and put her pen down and looked at her suspiciously.

  Sarah walked in and sat on the floor by the bed.

  'Things are pretty confusing at the moment, aren't they? I don't think I've been honest enough with you about Jada and my feelings for her.' Even though she had played these words repeatedly in her mind, she felt strange actually saying them, admitting them to her daughter. 'Maybe if I had been more open with you, what happened at school could have been avoided.' She paused, frightened to go on. She took a deep breath. 'It's true that Jada is...well was my girl...partner and I love her very much,' she continued when Holly didn't turn away from her in disgust, 'and despite what other people say, there is nothing wrong with loving someone who is the same sex as you, that's what's so great about love Holly...you can love many things.'

  'Why did you lie to me?' Holly interrupted.

  'I didn't tell you about Jada because I knew how much you were upset about your dad and I needed you to know that you are my top priority and nothing will ever change that.'

  'So Dad isn't going to be living with us again?'

  Sarah moved up onto the bed and took Holly's hand. 'No he isn't, if I could love him as much as I love Jada I would stay with him forever, but I don't, and he doesn't love me like that...I know how much it would mean to you for us all to be together again but it wouldn't work.'

  'So is Jada coming back?'

  'I don't know.'

  'Is it because I asked her to stay away?'

  Sarah was shocked but tried to mask it. 'When did you ask her to stay away?' she asked evenly.

  'The night of my birthday, you were talking to Dad in the kitchen and Jada came home, I told her not to interrupt you because you and Dad were getting back together,' she said looking down in shame.

  Sarah's heart was pounding, Jada had come back. Now she understood why she hadn't returned any of her calls. She was at a loss what to do.

  'I'm sorry Mum.'

  'Hey,' she said wrapping her arms around her, 'you've got nothing to be sorry for,' she kissed the top of her head. 'Do you have any questions you'd like to ask me?'

  Holly shook her head.

  'If you ever want to ask me anything...'

  'I know,' Holly said.

  'Shall we stay in tonight or do you fancy going round to Aunt Laura's, you don't have to see Emily, I'm sure James would be more than happy to entertain you.'

  At that, Holly's eyes lit up. 'Aunt Laura's,' she said brightly.

  Sarah laughed. Young love, it was so innocent.

  ***

  Laura cried. Her heart was broken. She could not believe a child of hers could act so horribly. The scene replayed repeatedly in her mind as she imagined Holly sitting there whilst her best friend betrayed her in front of the whole class. For the first time since Emily was born, she could not bear to look at her. She was ashamed to admit, mother or not, that the small child's behaviour repulsed her. She knew that both children were having a hard time coping with David leaving home, but that did not validate what Emily did to Holly. When she had picked Emily up to go to the headmaster's office, Emily had acted as though nothing was wrong. She admitted quite openly what she had done in class and had no remorse.

  Hearing the doorbell ring, Laura wiped the tears away from her eyes, there was nothing she could do about them being swollen. As soon as she saw Holly standing next to Sarah she knelt down and held her. 'I'm so sorry,' she said fighting to keep the tears from falling.

  'It's alright Auntie Laura,' she said hugging her back.

  Laura looked up at Sarah. There was no need for words, their look said it all, how did we ever get into this mess.

  'Hey Holly,' James said, 'wanna watch me play my new game?' he asked.

  Holly looked up at her mother and Sarah nodded with a smile.

  The two women made their way into the living room and sat side by side on the sofa.

  'I'm still in shock about Emily's behaviour,' Laura said. 'When Mr Picard was explaining what happened I kept thinking he must be talking about another child.'

  'Maybe you should get her some counselling,' she said.

  'That might not be a bad idea...what with James fighting, Emily bullying, god knows what will happen next.'

  'Have you spoken to Emily about it yet?' she asked.

  'Only briefly, I was so angry I just wanted her out of my sight,' she admitted. 'If I'm honest with you, I don't think now is the best time for me to talk to her, I may say something I'll regret.'

  'Yeah maybe it's best you wait a while,' Sarah agreed.

  'She said she heard you and Jada arguing at Holly's party.'

  Sarah looked anguished. 'Oh right, so that's how she knew. I've just had the dreaded talk with Holly, she took it quite well, considering the day she's had.'

  'Children are a lot stronger than we give them credit for. Have you heard from Jada?'

  'Nope and I don't think I will...Holly told Jada I was getting back with Joe,' she said.

  'Are you kidding?' Laura asked shocked.

  'I wish I was,' she said sadly.

  'I'm so sorry.'

  'It would have helped had Jada explained before running off.'

  'I'm really surprised that you reacted the way you did at that party though, you never used to care what people thought about you,' Laura said.

  'That was before I had a kid, what happened to Holly was exactly what I was trying to avoid...looks like it was all in vain, everyone will know now, I'm sure it was the talk of the school run today.'

  'Who bloody cares,' Laura said emphatically.

  Sarah sighed. 'I really do love her, everything just happened naturally with Jada, I could just be myself.'

  'Do you think women are your thing now.'

  'Who knows,' Sarah said. 'Women, men, it all ends the bloody same... in heartbreak...at least when it comes to me it does.'

  'I know the feeling,' Laura said mournfully. 'I keep wondering whether it was really necessary for David to leave his family to try and capture his dreams.'

  'I don't know Laura, everyone has their own reasons, we might not understand why people do the things they do.'

  'At the rate we're going, we'll both end up as two old maids,' she said trying to lighten the mood.

  'That'll be right,' Sarah said.

  'Stay for dinner, it's nearly ready and there is no use us both being alone,' she said.

  'Okay, I forgot to tell you what Joe suggested last night...' she said as they walked into the kitchen.

  'Oh god I dread to think,' Laura said opening a bottle of wine and pouring two glasses.

  'He had the gall to suggest we get back together.'

  Laura pulled a face in disbelief. 'You are joking aren't you?'

  'Nope, he said we should do it for Holly's sake.'

  'I hope you told him where to stick it,' Laura said looking at her friend intently.

  'Obviously,' Sarah said. 'He'd guessed about me and Jada, most probably because she didn't swoon under his gaze, he said he found the idea of me being with her quite sexy.'

  'That man has no shame.'

  'He never has had, at least he's agreed to see Holly at the weekends, so that's something I suppose.'

  'Let's see how long he keeps it up for. Can you pass me the pasta out the cupboard please.'

  'Sure,' Sarah said as she retrieved the pasta and handed it to Laura.

  'You're sauce smells great,' she said leaning over the pan.

  'Taste it and tell me if it needs more salt,' Laura said handing her a spoon.

  Sarah took a spoonful of the red bubbling sauce and blew on it before putting it in her mouth. 'Beautiful,' she said smiling at Laura .

  'Good, it shouldn't be long now.'

  'Do you think I should talk to Emily before dinner?'

  'If you think it will do any good,' Laura said.

  'I can only try,' she said as she went up to Emily's room. She knocked softly on the door to which there was no reply. She turned the handle and walked in to find Emily curled up in a foetal position on her bed rocking from side to side. She was sobbing quietly. Sarah hurried over to her and gathered her in her arms.

  'Emily,' she said,

  'I'm sorry...I'm sorry,' she kept repeating.

  'Hey shh shh,' Sarah said comforting her.

  'I... didn't... mean ....it,' she sobbed. 'I...didn't mean any harm.'

  'I know you didn't baby,' Sarah said still rocking her.

  Holly appeared at the door. Her face full of compassion. 'Is she okay?' she asked Sarah.

  'She'll be fine,' she said.

  'I'm sorry Holly,' she said through blurred tears. 'I'll make it better tomorrow.'

  'Come and sit with Emily,' Sarah said to Holly. 'I think she needs a friend more than anything right now.'

  She left the two girls alone, Holly comforting her whilst she apologised profusely to her.

  'I do think Emily needs to speak to someone,' Sarah said as she entered the kitchen.

  'What did she say?'

  'That she's sorry...she's in a bit of a state, Holly is sitting with her.'

  'Well at least she now has the decency to admit she's done something wrong.'

  'I just think she's hurting Laura, her whole world has come crashing down around her and she's just trying to make sense of it.'

  'That's all very well, but she is still accountable for her behaviour today, I can't just gloss over it Sarah. I don't want her to grow up thinking it's alright to step on people just because she's unhappy with her life.'

  'Let's just hope she has learnt a lesson today.'

 

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