Here Comes the Bride, page 4
After using up a roll of film she went back to her chair and spread sunblock on her arms. Ethan had gone to the bar again, so she’d have to wait until he returned to apply a second round of lotion to her back. While she rubbed sunscreen on her body it was hard to resist the urge to scratch her bites. Some of her bites were so swollen they made her skinny arms look fat in places.
“Oh my God! What happened to you?” Janet’s perfectly smooth long legs greeted her. Cate was pretty thin, but she’d never felt comfortable prancing around in public in her bikini. If she got up to use the bathroom or get a drink she always put her shorts or a T-shirt back on. Janet wore only her bikini and a pair of high-heeled flip-flops.
“I was attacked at the wedding,” Cate said. “Weren’t you bitten by any of the mosquitoes?”
“Me? No. Not one.”
Figures.
“Is anyone sitting here?” She pointed to the empty chair next to Cate.
Maybe she should lie and tell her it was taken. “No. I don’t think anyone is sitting there.”
She watched while Janet spread her towel over the lounge chair. Her tiny butt had obviously never seen the wrath of cellulite. “I heard about your food poisoning,” Janet said. “We saw Ethan in the lobby yesterday when he was coming back from the pharmacy.”
Funny, Ethan had never mentioned running into them.
“Yeah, I’m feeling much better today.”
Janet rubbed an SPF 2 oil over her legs. “That’s the worst. Vomiting and having diarrhea in front of your boyfriend,” she said. “Really not a flattering way to look.”
“We’re pretty comfortable around each other. I had to bathe him once when he had too much to drink.”
Frustration flashed quickly over Janet’s eyes. If Cate would’ve blinked she would’ve missed her sour expression. “Well, and you know Ethan. He is the best. I mean, the guy is such a catch. Really skilled in the . . .” She giggled. “Oh, what am I thinking? You don’t want to hear about that.”
No, she definitely didn’t want to hear how skilled in the bedroom Janet thought he was. What an idiot. After that remark, she decided to take a nap. Maybe if she closed her eyes Janet would go away.
She dreamt that they returned to San Diego. Grease was happy to see them, and she had new blue curtains. When she opened her suitcase Janet popped out. “Hi guys. I decided to come back with you,” she said.
Cate was thinking about stuffing her back inside and shipping the suitcase to Serbia when she was awakened by a bloodcurdling scream. As she opened her eyes a dark shadow lunged over her. Ethan hurtled over her lounge chair. She turned to see what he was running toward. There was Janet, screaming as if an ax murderer were after her. Cate watched as she decked the Leotard Man hard, knocking his ears from his head and sending him on all fours.
On the ground, he didn’t look as menacing. In fact, he looked rather scrawny. He sat there for a moment, trying to figure out what had hit him. His face was drenched in what appeared to be beer, and his makeup had been removed where her fist had hit him. He grabbed his ears and ran.
“Are you okay?” Ethan asked.
Hysterical, tears spilled from Janet’s eyes. “No, I’m not okay. That scared me to death.” She fell into his chest.
He paused for a moment before he put his arms around her. “It’s okay,” he said. “He’s gone now.”
She cried harder, resting her head on his shoulder. “Oh Ethan, that scared me to death. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
It wasn’t that scary. Cate had seen scarier things at Disneyland.
He stroked the back of her head, “Shhhh. It’s okay now. He’s gone.”
“Oh Ethan, you’re the greatest.” Then she kissed him on the cheek.
“She kissed you,” Cate said, throwing her clothes into her suitcase.
“Oh c’mon. It was on the cheek.” He folded a pair of his shorts.
“Ethan, you are so naïve if you think it was harmless.”
“Seriously, she’s just a really affectionate person. I’m sure she didn’t mean any harm by it.”
The image of Janet’s long fingers cupped over his face as she kissed him, the way she’d closed her eyes when her lips made contact with his skin, was impossible to forget. It hadn’t been an innocent kiss. It had looked sensual, and it drove her mad thinking of Janet’s nerve. Obviously, she had no respect for Cate. The more Cate thought about Janet’s audacity, the more she fumed.
She was about to tell him that she hadn’t seen her kissing anyone else all weekend when she realized that Janet was probably off somewhere having a celebratory cocktail. She was probably scheming up her next plan to play the damsel in distress in front of him, and if she knew they were arguing she’d be thrilled. They had one night left, and she promised herself she wouldn’t let Janet ruin their weekend.
• 6 •
Now You See It, Now You Don’t
She’d gotten used to their oceanside bungalow and the sound of waves crashing outside every night. Returning to San Diego was like stepping into harsh lighting after a good movie. Just as it took time for eyes to adjust to the lighting, it would probably take a couple of days to adjust to normal, daily life again.
Her apartment was dark and smelled like cat litter when they entered. “Grease,” she called. He usually waited for her by the front door. She flicked on a light switch and found him sitting on the back of the couch. He yawned, then looked at her through slitted eyes.
“Greasy,” she called. “Come here, little kitty. I’m home.” Instead of running toward her as he did whenever she returned, he flicked his white tail in the air, jumped from the couch, and walked in the opposite direction.
“He’s mad at me,” she said. “Because I left him.”
“He’ll get over it.” Ethan followed him. “Come here, Grease.” Grease trotted away. “As soon as I get my own place I’d like to get a dog,” he said.
Get his own place? He made it sound like he was leaving his current apartment and moving away from his roommate so he could live alone. She couldn’t help but succumb to analyzing comments like these. Obviously, he wasn’t thinking about getting a place with her any time soon if he was getting his own place. His remark was minor, and she was probably thinking about it much more than he was. Sometimes she felt like he was hard to figure out. Just when she thought he’d been bitten by the wedding bug, he was talking about living alone. She was too tired to get into a “where is this really headed” discussion and decided to check her messages.
“Call me the minute you get in.” It was Jill. “Did he do it?”
She pressed Delete.
The next message was from Beth. “Dun dun ta da!” She sang a very off-key “Here Comes the Bride.” “So? Did he do it? Just wondering. Call me. Bye.” She must’ve talked to Jill.
They were both going to be sorely disappointed when she told them the only thing she’d gotten on her vacation was a shot it in the butt. She made a mental note not to ever ask unengaged friends if they were engaged yet. She decided to call them tomorrow after he left. Feeling like she’d just spent ten days on a plane, she headed to the bathroom for a hot shower.
“Holy shit!” she said when she looked at her shower curtain.
“I know,” Ethan called. “I saw.”
A hole the size of a beach towel resided in the middle of the curtain, and claw marks covered the remaining pieces. She’d have to take baths until she replaced it. Otherwise, her little bathroom would be flooded. She washed her face in the sink, and when she returned to the bedroom she found Ethan sitting on the edge of the bed, still fully clothed. Odd that he wasn’t undressed, resting beneath her comforter with the remote control in his hand. She’d expected to find him absorbed in an episode of The Iron Chef or Monster House. Grease sat at Ethan’s feet, scratching his neck with his hind leg.
“What are you doing?” Cate asked.
“Nothing. Just waiting for you.”
She looked at his feet. He was still wearing his shoes. “Okay. Are you sleeping here tonight?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you going to get ready for bed?”
“Yeah, I will.” She was too tired to try to figure out why he was acting so weird. She was about to head for her pajamas when she noticed Grease scratching his neck again. She went away for one week and he had fleas? The she remembered that guy Jill had been sleeping with on and off, and his Doberman. It didn’t seem like something she’d do, but maybe she brought the dog over here. She did take him jogging sometimes.
“Come here, Grease.” She bent down and picked him up. She combed through the fur on the back of his neck with her fingers. He squirmed in her arms then sprang from her hands and ran from the room.
“I’m exhausted,” she said. She had a zit as bright as a traffic light on her forehead, but wasn’t in the mood to put toner on it. She slipped into a pair of her coziest pants and an oversized T-shirt and decided to look at Grease’s fleas tomorrow.
“I’m hungry,” Ethan said. He sat on the edge of her bed.
“I am too, but there is nothing in the house, and I don’t know of anywhere we can order takeout at this hour.”
He still sat there.
“You could walk to 7-Eleven,” she suggested.
“You want to rent a movie? Order one from pay per view? That Brad Pitt movie you’ve been wanting to see is on there.”
What was wrong with him? One, he never wanted to watch anything with Brad Pitt, and two, they’d been traveling for nearly twelve hours. Maybe he was just feeling sad that their vacation was coming to an end, and he was trying to prolong every last second of it.
Grease returned and jumped on the bed. He sniffed the corner of her comforter, then began to scratch the back of his neck, with his hind leg this time. Maybe his collar was too tight. Something was wrong. Ripping the daylights out of his red collar, wasn’t fleas. A white tuft of fur floated in the air as he scratched harder.
“Ethan, have you noticed Grease scratching like this since we got home? I think his collar is too tight.”
He shook his head.
Grease’s eyes narrowed, and his ears shifted back on his head when she lifted him. He looked absolutely miserable, and she wondered if a piece of the shower curtain had gotten lodged beneath his collar. He squirmed and struggled to free himself from her arms. She could feel his claws digging into her arms as she hung onto him. His body felt rigid and tense as if he were going to shoot from the bed and run into hiding at any moment.
“Grease, just hold still, baby. I’m going to make you all better.” He tried to bolt, but she managed to keep him pinned. She touched his collar, twisting so she could unbuckle it. She gasped when her fingertips ran over something hard, something that didn’t feel like a buckle. It felt like . . . a ring. Oh holy . . . oh mother . . . oh God, it was a ring! A diamond ring! On her cat’s collar. It was . . . she was . . . they were . . . When her eyes grew wide, she noticed Ethan moving, going down. He was getting on one knee, and this time she was wide-awake.
Words slipped from his mouth like bubbles, and she only caught bits and pieces. “The love of my life . . . I want to be with you forever . . . will you . . . marry me?”
Marry me? Marry me!!! MARRY ME! The words pounded in her head. He was asking her to marry him. Proposing. The lighting in her room was dim, but she could still see his blue eyes, wide and sincere—and a little nervous.
“Of course!”
He stood up, and they fell into one another’s arms, kissing and laughing.
“I wanted to do it in Mexico,” he said. “But I got worried that the ring would be stolen, so I chickened out at the last second and hid the ring in a jar of vitamins in your fridge.”
“You mean the ring has been sitting in with my vitamin E this whole time?”
“Yeah.” He chuckled.
“I was wondering why you were acting so weird.”
“I’ve never been that nervous in my life. Could you hear my heart pounding? My heart has never pounded like that before. I honestly thought you had to hear it.”
She shook her head. “No.”
“I mean, I knew you were going to say yes. But I had no idea that actually getting on one knee and asking you to marry me would be so intense. Now I understand why it’s so emotional. I have never been that nervous in my life.”
“I just thought you were being very unhelpful with the cat.”
He looked toward her bedroom door. “Where is Grease?”
The cat had bolted somewhere in the excitement. “I don’t know,” she said as she followed him into the living room. They found him on the couch, licking his paw. Fear swam through her veins when she looked on the ground next to the couch. Lying like a withered eel was his collar. The ring was nowhere in sight.
• 7 •
Spreading the Word
“I’m going to kill that cat,” Ethan mumbled as they dismantled the couch.
It was the following morning, and the first time since they’d started their search to recover her engagement ring that he’d blamed Grease. Up until now, they’d both been so happy that they’d searched for the missing gems with a positive attitude. An attitude that promised a safe return of the diamonds.
Any signs of optimism had faded after the sun rose, and now he was placing blame everywhere. “I’m not gonna kill him,” he retracted sadly. “It’s my own dumb fault. I should’ve known it would get lost if I set it anywhere near that cat.”
They had taken apart everything. The bed. The couch. They had moved furniture and looked inside shoes. They’d gone over every inch of the house with both sets of eyes. Behind the TV and the stereo. Beneath rugs and dust ruffles. Ethan had even sifted through the litter box and didn’t find anything pretty in there. She didn’t want to tell him this, but she’d been thinking about Grease’s obsession with water ever since the ring had vanished. Countless times, he’d taken his fake mice and drowned them in the toilet or batted a shampoo cap down the shower drain. She looked in his water dish, hoping to find it resting there, but the only thing she found was her Parisian woman’s head, which she’d have to superglue back on again.
Everything had happened so fast, and she’d only glimpsed the ring for an instant. She’d made him describe it to her at least a dozen times while they searched. At first, she’d loved listening to his descriptions. White gold. A trio of diamonds. The center diamond, a round cut and the largest at .5 carats stood a tad higher than its two neighbors weighing in at .25 each. She was starting to worry, and listening to descriptions only made her ache for the ring. If she let him see how concerned she was he’d probably have a nervous breakdown.
“It’s going to turn up,” she said optimistically. “It’s probably where we least expect it.”
“We’ve looked everywhere.” He slumped onto the cushionless couch.
“Why don’t we take a break? Call some of our friends and tell them the news? We’ve hardly called anyone. And then as soon as we stop looking I’m sure the ring will turn up somewhere.”
“How could I have been such an idiot!” He slammed his fist onto the edge of the couch, and she knew he hadn’t heard a word of what she’d just said.
A knock at the door startled them. He looked at her. “Who’s that?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered and wasn’t really sure why she was whispering. “Maybe Jill? Maybe she heard us.”
Ethan crept over to the door on his tiptoes and looked out the peep-hole in his boxers. He jumped back from the door as if a Mafia hit man stood on the other side with a machine gun. “It’s your mother!” he whispered loudly.
“Are you kidding?”
“No. She’s standing out there. Right out there.” He pointed vigorously at the front door. Then he ran into her bedroom and threw his clothes on as if he were committing adultery and his lover’s spouse was heading through the front door. Cate quickly slipped into jeans and a T-shirt as well.
When she opened the door she found not only her mother, but her father lurking in the hallway too.
“Good morning.” Connie grinned as if she already knew the good news.
“You know, don’t you?” Cate said as she let her parents in.
“We think we know,” her father said.
“We’re engaged!”
“I knew it! Congratulations. I got your message this morning and I knew that’s what it was!” She threw her arms around Cate.
Her father shook hands with Ethan. “Congratulations!”
“We were just in the area, and we thought we’d stop by,” Connie said. “What’s wrong with your phone, anyway? It’s been busy for over an hour.”
The phone had been propelled from the couch when they’d stripped it. It now lay off the hook in a corner of her living room. Ethan went to fix it.
“So how did he do it?” Her father asked.
She was relieved that Ethan hadn’t proposed in Mexico. Her mother had not approved of them traveling together and had reminded Cate that she was spending the honeymoon with him before the wedding at least a dozen times before she’d left. She told them all about Grease scratching himself and how she’d felt the ring and how Ethan got on one knee.
“Let’s see the ring.” Her mother reached for Cate’s hand.
“Well, uh, that’s the thing. The ring has disappeared.”
They told them how Grease had run off and they found his limp collar and no ring, and how they’d stayed up all night looking for it. She had a feeling she’d be repeating the story a thousand more times throughout the day.
“You need to pray to Saint Anthony.”
She’d always been instructed to do this whenever anything had gotten lost.
“Pray to him right now, and I’ll say some prayers too. He always finds everything. He does. Always.”
Cate wanted to mention the time in junior high when she’d lost her report on the Mayan Indians and Saint Anthony had never led her to it, despite prayer chains she had going throughout the neighborhood.
