Here Comes the Bride, page 22
Cate tried to think of something positive to say. “Well, his parents must like you.”
She shrugged. “I guess.” She tugged on a piece of yarn from the afghan on her bed with the tips of her acrylic nails. The nails looked too mature for her chubby hands, like a little girl wearing high heels and lipstick. “I’ve only talked to them over the phone. His mother is morbidly obese so she can’t afford to come to the wedding because she’d have to get two plane tickets, and I guess the airfare from Fresno is really expensive. His father might come though. He’s up for parole next week, so we’ll see if it works out.”
Denise suddenly seemed like a minor problem. A fly buzzing around a picnic compared to Summer’s in-laws. Cate glanced at the clock. “Well, we better head down. I think the first activity is about to start.”
Ethan was waiting for her by the entrance to the activity room. He looked tired but put his arm around her shoulders. He kissed her on the forehead. She was afraid to ask him how he was for fear he might tell her that she would pay dearly for this. She envisioned giving him free massages and serving him wine and cheese on a platter for the next five years since she was responsible for taking him to the Pre-Cana weekend. She could hear someone singing from the activity room and recognized a church song she’d spent most of her childhood believing was the national anthem for Canada.
As a kid she’d always thought the choir was singing in soft melody, “Ohhh Canaaaada! You take away the sins of the world,” when really they were singing, “Ohhh lamb of God. You take away the sins of the world.”
At ten, she was absolutely shocked to learn the real words to the song. Emily had to prove it to her by producing a songbook with the lyrics. To this day, Cate still sang the wrong words when the song was stuck in her head.
“How’s your roommate?” he asked.
“Interesting,” Cate said as she walked into the dimly lit room. “And she’s your roommate’s fiancée.”
“No shit?”
“Ethan, the language. We’re in a religious setting.”
He smiled. “Sorry.”
The room was tiny and full of people, so she lowered her voice. “Is your roommate’s name Dawson?”
“Sure is. Man, you have to point her out. I’m trying to picture the type of chick he’d be with.”
“Is he a total weirdo?”
“Let me put it this way,” he whispered. “The guy has a rattlesnake tattooed to his calf, is wearing shorts in the middle of a rainstorm, and spent the past twenty minutes showing me Polaroids of all his guns he trains with at the marine base.”
“Are you kidding me?”
He shook his head.
“Ethan, that’s scary,” she hissed. “My cousin Mary’s husband is a marine, and I bet you he doesn’t keep pictures of any of his guns.” She saw Stu perched on a stool with his sleeves rolled up. An acoustic guitar rested in his lap as he belted out the Canadian anthem.
Ethan chuckled. “Dawson’s wacky. I think it’s funny though. And he brought a flask of Goldschlager.” He smiled slyly. “So things aren’t looking that bad after all.”
“Did you already take a shot?”
“Three.” He grinned from ear to ear.
“Everyone. Everyone!” It was Ava, and she was waving her arms around like she was taping Lost and a helicopter had just flown over the island. “Everyone take a seat! We’re going to start now!”
Cate and Ethan followed the rest of the group to several rows of rusty fold-out chairs. Ethan stopped at the back row and pointed to two seats closest to the exit. The back rows filled up quickly.
Ava began by welcoming everyone to the Pre-Cana weekend; then she explained how wonderful the weekend was going to be. She passed out schedules for everyone, and it reminded Cate a little of college, getting her syllabus. A portion of her was filled with dread over the amount of work ahead, and a portion of her was excited to learn new things.
After Ava passed out the schedules they all went around the room and said their names and what they hoped to get out of the Pre-Cana weekend. She’d expected something like this. They were the very last people to go, and she hoped Ethan didn’t smell like alcohol when he spoke.
“Ethan Blakely,” he said. “I hope to learn more about Cate’s religious background.” Fair enough answer, and he didn’t smell.
“Cate Padgett. I hope to be more prepared for marriage.” It was a forced answer, and something she would’ve never said if she hadn’t been put on the spot.
“Okay. Now let Stu and me tell you a little bit about ourselves.” Stu sat on his barstool looking smug while Ava spoke. A smile returned to her face as if someone were pressing a buzzer in her back. “Stu and I got married four years ago. We were older, thirty-nine when we got married for the first time, and we were both virgins.” The smile again. “We decided to wait until our marriage night to make love, and this weekend we’re going to teach you why sex is so holy.”
As long as it didn’t involve listening to the details of Stu and Ava’s sex life she didn’t mind.
“Anyway, Stu and I got married, and Stu is really in touch with his feminine side, so he wore a kilt to the wedding instead of regular tux pants. Didn’t you, Stu?”
He smirked.
“And then,” Ava continued, “we wanted to make love the night of our wedding, but we were just too tired. And I want you all to know that it’s okay if you feel this way. So we went on our honeymoon, and the first night of the honeymoon Stu couldn’t perform. He was so nervous.”
The same smirk returned to his face.
“Anyway, we’ll talk more about that later. But it’s okay to be nervous going into marriage. We all have fears, and that’s what this whole weekend is for. To talk about our fears, and to talk about what life will be like in a Christian marriage. So tonight I want you all to think about your fears. Anything you might have in mind that you want to discuss with your partner.” She reached for an ugly straw hat with a lopsided pink flower pinned to it, and Cate wondered why on earth she was going to put this on.
“We’re going to pass around a hat. We call this the secret question hat. I want each and every one of you to write down a question you wouldn’t feel comfortable asking in front of the group. Something you would like to ask a priest, but you might be embarrassed, and then Father Flannagan will open these up when he’s here and answer the questions for the group. It’s completely anonymous, so don’t be shy. And everyone must ask a question. Chances are, if you’re confused about something, someone else is too.”
Many people looked just as stumped as she felt, but some people scribbled vigorously. She wondered what they were coming up with. She couldn’t think of any secret question she wanted to ask. She’d been raised Catholic and pretty much already knew all the answers. She was further surprised when she noticed Ethan writing away, as if he’d already had a question in mind before they even got there. He had an embarrassing question? That she didn’t know about? If he’d been having some concerns, she wished he would come to her.
“What are you writing?” she whispered.
“It’s private.” She knew by his tone he was joking.
“Let me see.”
“Okay. Hold on.” He finished writing, then held out the piece of paper for her to read. The twinkle in his eye should’ve been her first clue. As she read the words she covered her mouth.
“Is it still considered wife-beating if you’re not married yet?” He’d even disguised his writing.
Her eyes were so wide she could feel them popping from her head. He was grinning when she looked at him. “You can’t put that in,” she hissed between clenched teeth.
“Why not?” He managed to keep his laughter quiet.
“Give me that.” She tried to grab the paper from his hands, but he was too quick and snatched it back. Just as he did so, the hat came by. He dumped his question inside. There was a brief moment when they tugged back and forth on the hat, but when Ava and Stu turned in their direction, she surrendered. With the hat in his possession, Ethan stood up and returned the hat to Ava.
• 27 •
In the Dark
The following morning they were awakened by a quick rap on their door. “Time to rise, sleepyheads,” Ava called through the decaying walls.
Cate would’ve rather been awakened by a horny feral cat, and she could’ve easily slept for another four hours. The previous nights’ sleep had been some of the worst she’d ever experienced. She looked over and noticed Summer sprawled over her cot, wearing only her underwear and bra. Cate had always thought of herself as extremely pale, but around Summer she actually felt kind of tan. She couldn’t blame her for stripping to the bare minimum. Their room had been hotter than hell, and Cate had also kicked her afghan and flannel pajama bottoms off sometime in the night. She’d felt too self-conscious to lie over the covers in her underwear. She’d stayed beneath the top sheet, and her legs had never gotten used to the scratchy feeling of the bleached sheets.
She sat up and looked at herself in the mirror. Sweat had soaked her bangs, and they’d dried standing away from her forehead, like a picket fence. She’d indulged in another fifteen minutes of sleep, and there wasn’t time to shower. She spent most of her time getting ready trying to fix her stubborn bangs, which seemed to have grown a mind of their own overnight. She wet them and tried to slick them back down with her comb, but they just popped back out again. She pressed on them for nearly five minutes with her hand. When she removed her palm, they stayed against her head for about ten seconds before slowly popping off her forehead again.
She borrowed Summer’s blow dryer and just as she was about to plug it in, the lights went out. It was pouring rain outside, so she wouldn’t be surprised if the storm had caused the blackout. However, the building was so ancient the electricity probably couldn’t handle twenty people attempting to get ready at once.
Amidst the darkness, she saw a bright ray of hope. Without power, how could they continue? Perhaps they’d all be sent home and excused from this whole bizarre camp experience! Her prayers may have been answered.
She was ten minutes late to breakfast, and the power still hadn’t come back on. This was fine with her because her bangs stood from her scalp like horns, and it would be better if no one saw her anyway.
Ethan waited by the door to the cafeteria. He looked pale and hadn’t bothered to shave. “Hey,” he said quietly. He didn’t notice her hair or that she was late.
“You look like you got about as much sleep as I did last night,” she said.
“I’m dying,” he said. “I’m so hungover.”
She almost envied him. At least he’d been doing something fun, and he probably got a better night’s sleep than she did. She could hear Stu and the sound of his acoustic guitar. As long as they were anywhere near him there wouldn’t be a moment of peace.
“The smell of that food is making my stomach turn,” Ethan said, bleary eyed.
Ava smiled at them as they went to get trays, and Cate nodded back. Every time she moved she could feel her bangs flapping like wings. Furthermore, the entire room had been lit with candles and lanterns, and she could see her bangs standing from her forehead in the shadows. It looked as if her forehead had grown buckteeth. She wanted an immediate update on the electricity situation. If they were getting out of here any time soon, she wasn’t eating.
Ava wore a hideous apron in colors that should never share the same cut of cloth. A brown background, the fabric was covered in small purple and yellow crosses. She wore red slacks and a blue and white plaid shirt. Maybe she was colorblind.
“What’s going on with the power?” Cate asked.
“Well, we’ll just have to make do with candles for the rest of the day, or until they turn the power back on.”
“You mean we’re staying?”
“Well, of course!” She chuckled. “We have so much to do today. And we’re doing my favorite part this morning. Skits!”
Cate didn’t mean to slam her tray on the counter. Any hope that they’d get a free pass on the Engagement Encounter Weekend faded as quickly as the lights had. There was no way this woman was going to let them go when she had the power to make them all perform religious skits.
Stu sat on the edge of a table, wearing brown corduroy slacks and a sweater that was too short in the sleeves. His black arm hair crept over his wrists like fur. He was slaughtering another church song. It was one she actually liked, “Ave Regina.” A lively tune, she recalled clapping her hands to it at Mass. Something about the gothic lighting and scent of bad breakfast food killed the mood.
The heat lamps had failed due to the power outage, so what remained was some cold sloppy oatmeal and a few icy strips of extremely greasy bacon. After what they’d consumed at dinner the night before, she hadn’t expected anything better. Actually, she still wasn’t clear on what they’d even eaten the night before. Ethan had insisted it was chicken, but she thought for sure it was beef.
In his dehydrated state, Ethan took the rest of the salty bacon. She helped herself to oatmeal, reasoning it probably wouldn’t be that bad with some honey or maple syrup. She grabbed a bottle of honey while Ethan looked for a table. Mostly all the women in the room had wet heads and looked as if they were slowly coming out of comas. They sat with two other couples that seemed close to their age. After Cate set down her tray she tried to push her bangs back down so they wouldn’t notice. But she could still feel them flapping on her head.
“Oh you got the eggs too?” one of the grooms at their table said.
“Eggs?” She glanced at her bowl. “I think its oatmeal.”
“No. Those are eggs. Trust me.”
Eggs that she’d just doused in honey. She ended up eating a piece of Wonder bread with strawberry jam over the top.
The food was horrible, but the conversation at the table turned out to be pretty good. The groom who’d pointed out the eggs and his fiancée were the same age as Ethan and Cate. Their names were Mike and Gillian, and they had a lot more in common with Cate and Ethan than being engaged. She was also an elementary school teacher, and they’d both grown up in San Diego. It was nice visiting with them and joking about Ava and Stu.
The other couple at the table was a little bit different. Their names were Matthew and Angie. Cate had remembered seeing him the night before and wondering who the lucky girl was who’d snagged him. Tall and muscular, he had a handsome, timeless face. He was dressed nicely in expensive jeans and a turtleneck sweater with a sleek leather jacket. Angie, on the other hand, was short and plump and wore very average, unremarkable clothing.
Matthew seemed preoccupied and never smiled or added anything to the conversation. Cate wondered if he was just in a bad mood because he was bored and frustrated with the whole weekend. He’d probably been dragged here, like Ethan, and was being a poor sport.
“So are you both Catholic?” Angie asked.
“No. Just her.” Ethan pointed to Cate.
“I’m not Catholic either,” she said. “I’m just here for Matthew.”
When they looked at Matthew, he was staring off into space. An awkward moment of silence passed before he realized they’d been talking about him. “Oh, huh? Were you talking to me?” he asked.
“I was just telling Cate and Ethan, here, that we came this weekend because you’re Catholic.” She smiled and looked back at them. “I don’t mind though. I really want to embrace his religion, and I know it means a lot to his family.” That was sweet of her. She thought it strange that Matthew didn’t even seem to appreciate it though. They never touched, and the only time she seemed really thrilled was when they discussed all the details of their wedding. “We’re having our programs made from French parchment in Paris, and each member of the wedding party will have their own portrait sketched by a French artist next to their name on the program.” The girl was wedding obsessed. Cate wondered if that was why Matthew was so distant. He was probably sick and tired of hearing about French parchment paper. She wasn’t holding her breath, but hopefully the weekend would help them.
After breakfast they were all led back to the activity room. “All right,” Ava said. “Find a seat. There are plenty here in the front.”
The back corner had now become a coveted spot. In fact, the entire back rows had become hot commodities, and the rest of the group had beaten Cate and Ethan to their former area. They were forced to sit front row, dead center.
“Okay, first I’d like to start with an opening prayer, so everyone bow your heads and picture yourself in a nice peaceful place.”
At this point, standing outside in the rain seemed nice.
“Dear Father, please help us to get through this weekend . . .”
Amen to that.
“. . . with understanding and love. And please, Father, bless these engaged couples on their journey. Help them to learn more about each other and their faith and love in God together.” It was the only time she’d spoken in a soft tone. “Amen.”
The room followed with a chorus of amens, and she even heard Ethan’s voice in the mix too. They did some really corny skits on talking to your partner about issues you might feel uncomfortable about. Cate volunteered for the lead role in one skit just so she would have something to do. The second she’d volunteered she’d regretted it. She’d forgotten about her bangs, and now she had to stand in front of the audience with buck bang head.
“But I want to use my credit card to by those shoes at the mall.” She read her wooden line from a tattered script.
“But I don’t want you to use the credit card,” Dawson said back. He had the lead male role, and was her fiancé in their acting debut together. Thankfully there were no love scenes. “We never talked about money before we got married.”
“And now we’re in deep trouble.” When she looked back up from her lines she noticed that half the front row was sleeping.
