Lost Hart, page 22
Richelle rushed forward and caught Stacey just before she collapsed to the floor. Richelle sat down and gently brought Stacey with her, letting Stacey crumple against her and cry.
She cried and she cried and she cried as the tiny woman rubbed her back and made soothing shushing noises.
“He’s got a team of people rooting for him,” Tessa said. “He’s not alone. He’s with his brothers, and he’s going to get the best possible care at the hospital. Then I’ll make some recommendations for counselors in Victoria, and hopefully we can get him the help he needs.”
Stacey wasn’t sure that was going to be enough.
She also knew it was too soon to tell, but based on Rex’s expression, on the concern on each of the other Hart brothers’ faces, she knew they were worried about him. They knew more of what they were dealing with. If Rex was scared, that had to mean something really bad, right?
Richelle’s phone buzzed in her pocket, and she adjusted herself on the floor with Stacey enough to answer it. “It’s Heath,” she said, glancing up at Tessa.
She put the phone on speaker mode, and Stacey sat up, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
“Got you on speakerphone, Heath,” Richelle said. “What’s up?”
“They’re rushing him into surgery,” Heath said, his voice sounding hollow and tired. “Some pretty bad internal bleeding. Worried about one of his kidneys. Pasha got his ankles and wrists all cleaned and bandaged up on the drive to the hospital, but he’s got three broken ribs, dislocated shoulder, and then there’s all the internal bleeding. They’re thinking his spleen may need to go and possibly a kidney.”
“Dear God,” Tessa whispered, her hand back over her mouth while tears spilled from her blue eyes.
“How you doing, Stace?” Heath asked.
“Worried,” she croaked.
“Kids are all asleep after a big dinner of mac ’n’ cheese and the new Pixar movie,” Richelle said. “You guys need anything?”
“We’ll be okay,” Heath said, though they could tell he was yawning. “Slept in way worse places. A hospital waiting room is like a five-star hotel compared to some rat-infested hovels I’ve gotten shuteye in.”
Tessa, Stacey and Richelle exchanged grim expressions.
“You’ll keep us updated on him?” Richelle asked. “Like as soon as you get an update, you’ll update us.”
“You know it,” Heath said. “But you ladies get some sleep. It’s been a hard day for all of us.”
“Send Chase our love,” Tessa said.
Heath grunted. “Will do. And hey, Stace?”
Stacey wiped more tears away and blubbered a half-assed, “Yeah?”
“Don’t take what Chase said to heart, okay? He loves you. He loves those kids. He’s just in a bad place right now, but we’ll get him back.”
Her throat was still tight and she was chomping down hard on the inside of her cheek to keep herself from losing it completely.
“Stace?” Heath probed.
“Gotcha,” she said with an exaggerated nod even though he couldn’t see her. “Thanks, Heath.”
“Talk soon.” Then he ended the call.
Tessa frowned. “Chase said some pretty mean stuff?”
Stacey nodded. “He was hurting. I know he didn’t mean it.”
“Doesn’t mean it still doesn’t sting, though,” Richelle said, standing up and then offering Stacey a hand to help her up, too.
“If he was how you said he was,” Tessa started, “naked, bound and beaten, he’s going to be angry that you saw him in such a vulnerable and compromised position. His ego—along with a lot of other parts of him—will be severely bruised.”
Stacey’s head hurt. Her heart, too. “That’s what Barnes said.”
Richelle’s eyes went wide, and she nodded. “Men who are normally marshmallows can turn into monsters when their egos get bruised.”
They all went over to the couches and sat down. The women had a teapot on the coffee table and mugs that were still half-full. Without even asking, Richelle topped both she and Tessa up and then poured the third mug for Stacey.
A stiff drink would have been better, but she’d settle for tea.
“And as a Harty Boy, he’s used to being the protector,” Tessa said, curling her legs under her and cradling her steaming mug with both hands before blowing on it. “And there’s not a lot of protecting he can do in his current state, and that’s bound to make him feel like he’s left you and the kids vulnerable.”
“Yeah, but he left us for months. He was our bodyguard during the whole Petralia fiasco, where my late husband’s other wife and I were being threatened by a Greek crime family because our husband was an undercover cop who had infiltrated their organization and run off with a bunch of their money.” Stacey blew on her own tea before taking a sip. The too-hot water was a welcome burn on her tongue as she took in the other women’s bulging eyes of surprise.
“Other wife?” Richelle asked slowly.
Stacey nodded and pointed at herself. “Looking at a sister-wife. Not by choice though. Ted was living a double … or triple … possibly quadruple life. But he’s dead, so … karma.”
Richelle and Tessa nodded.
“Gonna need more on that story another day,” Richelle said, taking a sip of her tea.
“For another day and one with alcohol,” Stacey replied. “But as I was saying. Chase was our bodyguard. Then, when the Petralias were taken down and I thought things between us were starting to heat up, we had one night together and he vanished.”
“Ouch,” Tessa said, sucking in air between her teeth. “Just like poof, gone?”
Stacey exhaled. “Basically. He came back briefly, but he saw Rex hugging me—without a shirt on, I might add—then, like an assuming jerk egomaniac, he thought I’d chosen his brother over him, so he took a six-month job down in Georgia. He wasn’t doing much protecting us from down there.”
“Because he figured his brother was doing that,” Tessa said, tucking a strand of her long, curly blonde hair behind her ear.
“Men can be so dumb,” Richelle said with an exaggerated eye roll.
“Dumb as soup,” Tessa confirmed.
Richelle’s lips pursed and her head shook. “I like soup. Don’t knock soup.”
Stacey and Tessa both smiled and snorted.
“But you guys seemed better now, no?” Richelle asked. “I mean, I was picking up on some serious sexual tension. You explained that you’re not with Rex. That you were never with Rex.” She cupped her hand around her mouth. “Were you with Rex?”
Stacey shook her head. “He opened that door, but I closed it.”
Richelle set her mug down on a side table. “And you and Chase?”
“We got back together last week. I stormed his apartment, told him I was mad at him for leaving. We hashed it all out, and then he spent every night at our house for dinner after that. He never slept over, but we’ve had sex.” She closed her eyes briefly before lifting her head toward the ceiling. “God, I don’t even know what day it is. It feels like so much longer than just a few days that we’ve been in this hotel, that Connor was gone and Chase was gone. It felt like my baby was gone for months.”
“Trauma messes with your head and all concept of time,” Tessa said gently. “Just because you weren’t the one taken doesn’t mean you can’t suffer from PTSD, too. You were stuck in the neck with a needle, left unconscious in your car, and your son was abducted with the intention of selling him. That’s like a parent’s worst nightmare.”
Richelle’s head bobbed in agreement. “I’ve lived it. It is.”
Exhaling, Stacey glanced out the window into the black sky. It was still foggy, and they were so high up that unless she walked close to the window, she could barely see any lights. Their reflections were nearly clear as a mirror in the enormous picture windows, and she could tell, even from where she sat, that she looked like shit. Turning back to the women, she nibbled her lip before speaking. “But things are still rocky. He’s got secrets. A lot of them. From jobs gone bad—or maybe they went well, but they were still hard on him. I don’t know. And he won’t talk to me about it.”
“Men suck at communication,” Tessa said with an affirmative nod.
Stacey wholeheartedly agreed. “He said we had to sleep out here, and with the blinds open and light on. Said he couldn’t stay in the bedroom.”
Tessa’s head nodded slowly. “Anything else?”
Stacey shook her head. “No, but …” Her eyes narrowed. “The first time we had sex, we didn’t have any condoms, so we pulled out instead. But then I made a comment about having to buy condoms for next time, and he got this really weird look on his face. It was only for a moment, but it was like this … I dunno how to describe it. Almost like an intense sadness when I said I wasn’t ready to have any more kids, so we needed to buy condoms. But then like a flash it was gone, and he just nodded and agreed with me.”
Richelle tapped her finger to her lip. “Interesting.”
“Well, I can tell you right now, I bet you he’s claustrophobic,” Tessa said. “Not able to stay in the bedroom, needs the windows open and the light on. That all makes sense. What’s his apartment like?”
“It’s a loft. It’s not big, but it’s spacious and all one room besides the bathroom. He also has floor-to-ceiling windows, which he keeps open all the time.
“And his bathroom?” Tessa probed.
Stacey pressed her lips together. “Why does that matter?”
Tessa shrugged. “Humor me.”
“Average size, I guess. About the size of the one here.”
“Shower curtain? Shower door? Opaque? Transparent?
“Transparent. Why?”
Tessa’s lips formed a thin, grim line, and she regarded Stacey with a worrisome look. “I mean, I can’t actually diagnose him since I haven’t spoken to him, but I’d say he suffers from severe claustrophobia. And if they had him in a box …”
Stacey gasped and covered her face with her hand. “Oh God.”
“Yeah, that’s not good,” Richelle said softly.
“But it is something he can work on,” Tessa offered, though the lack of sparkle in her eyes and the remaining grim expression on her face said that even if Chase wanted to work on his claustrophobia and whatever other demons haunted him, it was going to be a long, tough slog no matter what.
“Man’s got a lot of demons,” Richelle said. “But what he doesn’t seem to realize is that we all do, but by not allowing them to rule you is how you conquer them.”
“Amen,” Tessa agreed.
Stacey glanced back out the window. “Yeah, he’s got a lot of demons.”
She only hoped that when the bruises faded and his ribs healed, he would trust her enough to help him face those demons and not cast her aside like she was just another monster out to hurt him.
Chapter 23
Stacey couldn’t believe that it was only Monday when she arrived home with Connor, late that evening. She’d swung by Joy’s, of course, to pick up Thea—the baby hadn’t even let Stacey into the house completely before she was pulling on her shirt to nurse.
“Hungry little monkey,” Joy said, the worry lines around her eyes and mouth extra deep. Joy looked how Stacey felt—lost and helpless. “But she was so good. Slept and ate well. Krista pumped a bit and brought it over, which was helpful when Thea would get a little fussy before naptime.”
Stacey smiled as she cradled her daughter in her lap and held Thea’s hand, gazing into her baby’s enormous blue eyes. “I’ll have to thank her,” she said quietly.
“It’s what family does for each other,” Joy said. “You’re family, dear.”
It was a struggle to keep the corners of her mouth up. All thoughts led back to Chase. “Any news?” she asked, lifting her head. Connor had snuggled right in next to Stacey, unwilling to let her out of his sight, let alone stop touching her, and he was quietly looking at a Paw Patrol board book.
Joy shook her head. “Not since the last time they called, which was this morning.” Diesel was happily snoring at her feet. Every so often the dog would fart or start to whimper and kick his feet, dreaming of chasing rabbits or birds no doubt.
“I’m glad his surgery went well and they were able to salvage his kidney.”
Thea popped off and went to sit up, though she wasn’t finished. She just wanted to switch sides. Stacey helped her daughter pivot and waited for Thea to re-latch.
“Yeah, I’m glad, too.” Joy glanced at Connor thoughtfully for a moment before turning her attention back to Stacey. “Have you two talked at all about … anything? I know you were spending a lot of time together last week. Rekindled the fire. But has he opened up?”
Stacey shook her head. “No. And I wish he would. I wouldn’t judge him. Not for anything. I know he’s a good man. A wonderful man. And I want to be with him, faults and all.” She swept a rogue tear off her cheekbone and swallowed. She’d done so much crying in the past several days, she was surprised she had any tears left.
Joy’s expression was kind. “Give him time, dear. He’ll come around.”
“Did Brock tell you anything about what happened to him, though?” Just like Joy wouldn’t divulge her son’s secrets, Stacey wasn’t sure how much the Hart brothers told their mother about their missions. Particularly the ones that landed them in dangerous and life-threatening situations.
“Just that he was hurt really badly in a mission gone sideways.” Joy’s chin quivered and her pout deepened. She cleared her throat, glanced at the fireplace and discreetly wiped a tear away. “Sometimes I think I want to know what really happens, what they go through, but then I think I’m better off staying in the dark. He told me a bit about what happened to him in Lima in that prison, and I tell you, I had a hard time sleeping for some time after that. Knowing what one of my babies went through, the way he suffered.” Her eyes filled with water, which caused her to reach for a tissue from the side table.
Stacey sat up straighter, much to the protestations of Thea. “In Lima? What happened to Chase in Lima? He was in prison?”
Joy’s head shook tightly. “Never mind. Not my story.”
“Joy …” Stacey warned. “What happened to him?”
Joy’s gaze bounced from Connor to Thea. “It’s too late, and you’re much too tired to be driving home with grandbabies in the back seat. Chase’s old room is ready. Thea’s been staying in the Pack ’n Play in there. You can stay in there.” She stood up.
Stacey lifted her brow at the woman who had essentially adopted her as one of her own. “We’ll put them to bed, and then you’re going to tell me.”
Joy let out a deep exhale through her nose, her gaze laser-focused on Stacey for a moment. Then she shook herself free, tossed on a big, fake smile and held her hand out for Connor. “Come on, angel. Let Nana Joy help you into bed.”
Connor nodded. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. He allowed Joy to lead him down the hallway. Mercedes had sent over clothes of various sizes for the children, so Connor was wearing a dark blue and dark green pair of long-sleeved pajamas, and they had bright yellow diggers and dump trucks on them.
Thea’s eyes were starting to droop, and she was now cupping Stacey’s breast like it was a bottle. The baby popped off a moment later, and when Stacey lifted Thea’s arm to do the satiated and asleep test, it fell like cold spaghetti. The baby was out.
She tucked her breast back into her shirt and stood up, carrying her daughter down the hallway to where she could hear Joy and Connor murmuring.
She would stay here tonight. It did make sense.
But it also made her feel better knowing that Joy was just down the hallway, so if Connor needed extra attention, Joy could look after Thea.
Connor was already asleep in the big queen-size bed, and Joy was just adjusting the blankets on him.
Stacey laid Thea down in the Pack ’n Play, and her daughter immediately flipped over to her belly on her knees and stuck her butt in the air.
Stacey would join Connor in the bed later, not only because she didn’t want to mess up any of the other guest beds in Joy’s house but also because the thought of being away from either of her kids right now, even if it was just across the hall, made her insides twist to the point of nausea.
She kissed both kids more times than she could count before following Joy back out to the living room.
“They’re still my babies,” Joy said, though it came out more like a croak as she took a seat in the chair she was in before.
Stacey sat back down on the couch. Diesel was now in his dog bed by the hearth. He popped one eye open slightly and watched her sit down, but once he knew where everyone was, he went back to snoring.
Joy cleared her throat. “Even though they’re twice my size, grown men and have probably done some very questionable things, all for the greater good, they’ll always be my babies.” Her eyes focused toward the end of the hallway for a moment. “Just like these two will always be your babies. Even when they’re all grown up and off to college or with families of their own. You will never forget what it felt like the moment they were placed in your arms for the first time or how your heart doubled in size the first time they said Mama.”
Well, that was all true.
She could still remember the day Connor said Mama for the first time. She’d burst into tears of joy, picked him up, spun him around and kissed him until he was pushing her away so he could get back to his blocks.
It would probably be the same when Thea finally said Mama for the first time, too.
“I love him,” Stacey finally said. “It might not make sense, given how we started, all our time apart—”
“Love doesn’t always have to make sense,” Joy said, glancing at a picture of Chase’s late father on the mantle. “In fact, it rarely does, which is part of what makes it so magical.”
What she felt when she was with Chase certainly seemed nothing short of magical. The man was a damaged soul, a tight-lipped wonder with an enormous grumpy side. And yet, when she thought of her future, of growing old with someone and raising her children, the only image she could conjure was one of her and Chase.
