Quick & Reckless, page 13
Kylie made an “are you fucking serious?” face.
“What? He said so himself—he was working on a super secret project he couldn’t tell me about. How do I know it’s not storing humans in shipping containers and carting them around the world on a cargo ship? Stacked up like cordwood until they’re forced into slavery. Or worse? And then there’s the fact that he said he wasn’t interested in having a family or settling down anytime soon, that work was his baby. He said maybe in ten years. Then there’s the whole step thing.”
Kylie rolled her eyes again. Even Ava seemed to scoff in derision.
“And I’m worried what he’ll want from me if she does turn out to be his. I know that if she’s Trent’s, he’ll want shared custody, both physical and legal. He may even try for full, claiming that he and Candy can provide for her better because they’re a couple and both have jobs. And that I’m just a single mother who didn’t even tell him he was a father until the baby was nearly four months old. How is a judge going to view me then? Not favorably. But, if she’s Warren’s, is he going to want custody? And if so, what kind? Full? Shared? Am I supposed to put my baby on a plane and wave goodbye as she flies off halfway around the world for God only knows how long to God only knows where because a judge says I have to?”
Kylie looked bored and mildly irritated. “Do you honestly think Warren would do that?”
Silver stared down into her wineglass. No. She didn’t. She knew Warren wouldn’t. Problem was, over the last few months, since meeting Gail and hearing all about Warren from his mother, once Silver put the pieces together who he was, she was already in love with him. Been pining for him for months. Since the moment the stick turned blue and she knew there was a chance the baby was his, she’d slowly started to fall in love with him. He just seemed so wonderful. Was so wonderful. So real. So down-to-earth despite his wealth. And she knew he was. Even in their short time together, he’d done nothing but take care of her. Heal her wounds and make her forget about everything in her life but her own pleasure. She knew he wasn’t a human trafficker or a bad guy. He was probably one of the greatest guys she’d ever met. Would ever meet. And now, she’d gone and betrayed him. Kept a secret, a baby from him. And he hated her. A man she’d been falling in love with this past year, who very well could be the father of her baby, hated her.
“Silv?” Kylie probed, knocking her back to reality. “Do you honestly think Warren would keep you from Ava? Demand custody?”
Silver shook her head. “No. I don’t.”
Kylie looked at Ava again. “First logical thing Mummy has said all day.”
“And then there’s my dad,” Silver went on. “I don’t want to disappoint him. He was so devastated when Trent left me at the altar. I can’t imagine disappointing him again with the idea that his perfect daughter is this reckless little harlot who had a weekend tryst with a man she hardly knew and got knocked up in the process. It’s been hard enough for him to accept me refusing to tell him who Ava’s father is.” She bunched her face into a frown. “Mainly because I don’t know. I don’t want to know.”
Kylie frowned at Ava. “There she goes again being silly. I think we need to take the wine away from your mummy? What do you think? Might sour the milk. More for Auntie Kylie anyway.” Kylie let her gaze slowly drift to Silver. “Johnathan Belle is the nicest man I have ever met. I wish he was my father. There’s not a damn thing you could do to disappoint him. Besides maybe root against the Canucks. And even then, he’d probably just not talk to you during the playoffs, but then take you out for dinner afterward to apologize.”
“Yeah, but—”
Kylie cut her off. “Let me ask you this: Does your dad like Trent?”
“Hell, no. He wants to rip off his balls, but only after Trent has paid him back for the wedding.”
Kylie nodded. “And how does he feel about Warren?”
“I dunno. I mean, they just met. But he loves Warren’s mother. I think if anything, he was a little nervous about meeting Gail’s son. He was hoping Warren would approve of him. Seemed really frazzled and embarrassed that he was late for lunch. Even though there’s not much you can do about traffic.”
“So, who do you think your dad would rather you have a baby with? Trent the cheating bastard? Or Warren the upstanding son of the woman he’s in love with and about to marry?”
She had a good point. Silver hadn’t really thought of it like that. She stood up from her chair and went to turn the fan on. Was it still hormones, or was June unseasonably hot already? It felt more like August weather.
“What are you going to do if she’s Warren’s?” Kylie asked, draining her wineglass and setting it down on Silver’s old oak coffee table.
Silver was about to sit down when her phone on the kitchen counter began to buzz. “Pray he forgives me and then figure out visitation?” She shrugged with a pout, then answered her phone. “Hello?”
“It’s Warren and the lab tech. Buzz us up.”
Silver glanced at the clock on her microwave. It said 7:05. Shit.
“Sure.” She hit number nine on her keypad, and the line went dead.
“And that’s my cue,” Kylie said with a chuckle, standing up with Ava in her arms. She passed the babe to Silver before taking both wineglasses to the sink. “Might be best if you weren’t drinking … at least not in front of him. Custody, unfit mother, tainted breast milk and all that other nonsense.” She tucked a strand of reddish-blonde hair behind her ear before leaning in to give Silver a peck on the temple. “Let me know when he’s gone, and I’ll come on back.”
Silver swallowed and nodded. “Okay.”
Just then, there was a knock at the door.
Hoisting Ava up onto her shoulder, she went to open it, Kylie hot on her heels. Her best friend gasped behind her, followed by a low, feline purr. Yeah, Silver knew that was going to happen. Kylie was never shy about letting a man know when she thought he was attractive.
“Fuck, he’s hot,” Ky murmured.
“Hi,” Silver said, her voice way too peppy for the situation. She just hoped her best friend wasn’t drooling behind her. “Come on in. This is my friend Kylie from down the hall. She was just on her way out.”
Warren nodded at Kylie and muttered a small hello as he and the short, bespectacled lab tech stepped through the foyer.
“This won’t take but a moment,” the tech said, toeing off his shoes. Warren did the same. He was still in the same sexy brown chinos and baby blue polo shirt from earlier that day. Did he ever not look drop-dead sexy?
They followed Silver into the living room of her small but tidy apartment. Immediately, her body grew unbearably hot. Was Warren judging her? Did he not think she was fit to care for a baby in such a small place? He could probably afford to buy the entire apartment complex.
Yes, her place was small, a one-bedroom. But it was clean, on the newer side, only five years old, and all her furnishings and appliances were new. There were no bugs, and she’d already baby-proofed a lot, even though Ava wouldn’t be crawling for a few more months.
Unlike her and Trent’s old place, which had been very sparse and modern with lots of chrome, black and white, Silver chose to style her new place with color and life. She had a big balcony with plants and flowers, even a few vegetables and a small tomato plant. And her colors were turquoise, white and yellow. She went the complete opposite of her life with Trent. She chose happy and vibrant. She had to.
“Have a seat,” Silver offered, pointing at the couch.
Warren shook his head. “I’m fine.”
The lab tech sat down in the overstuffed chair Silver had been in and opened up his kit on the coffee table. He brought out a long swab stick from a plastic tube. “I just need to run this over the inside of her cheeks. If you could hold her for me, I’ll be quick.”
With trembling hands, Silver walked over with Ava and knelt down next to the lab tech. She ran her knuckle over Ava’s cheek, and the little girl turned her head toward her mother and parted her lips, expecting a meal. The lab tech swooped in with the swab and gently pushed it into her mouth, rubbing it along the inside of her cheek. Ava stared at him in awe. He pulled the swab out and tucked it back in the plastic tube for safekeeping.
“All right. We should have the results in a day or two.” He stored the tube in his kit and then stood up. Silver used the edge of the coffee table to push herself to standing and followed them both back to the door.
The lab tech and Warren appeared to be in the middle of a whispered conversation, so Silver hung back for a moment. Ava seemed to be irritated with the teasing of food a moment ago, only to have it suddenly pulled away. She was squirming in Silver’s arms and making a fuss. Silver would have to nurse her as soon as they left.
Suddenly, the lab tech nodded at Silver, said a swift goodbye and then was out the door, leaving Warren standing there. His gaze shifted down from her eyes to her chest, then back up to her eyes. “You’re, uh … you’re leaking.” He pointed at her chest.
She glanced down.
Fucking great.
Not only had she not bothered to get changed before they showed up, she was still in her nursing tank top from earlier in the day when she and Ava took a nap together (minus a bra) and soft cotton shorts. She’d also apparently forgotten to put in new nursing pads.
Ignoring the fact that Warren was still in her house, she took Ava back to the living room and grabbed her nursing pillow off the floor before sinking down onto the couch. She positioned the baby and then brought out her breast.
Warren looked away.
She caught his uncomfortable face and scoffed. “You’ve seen them before. You’ve had your mouth on them, too. No need to be embarrassed.”
That must have sucker-punched him, because he blanched and looked her square in the eye, his own eyes nothing but blue fire. “I hate this, Silver.”
Now it was her turn to avoid him. She looked down at Ava, who was happily guzzling. “Me, too. I’m sorry.”
“This was not how I saw our time together going.”
She didn’t say anything. This was exactly how she saw things going. She knew the moment she found out Warren was Gail’s son and they saw each other again that he’d hate her for keeping Ava a secret for so long.
“How long have you known I was Gail’s son?”
Silver bit the inside of her cheek until she could feel something besides a hollow ache in her chest. “A few months.”
Now he looked like he was in pain. Finally, he sat down in the chair adjacent to her. “Before Ava was born?”
Silver nodded. “Just before.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
Her lip trembled. “I was scared.”
Hurt like she’d never seen before clouded his eyes. It was devastating to watch such a strong, confident man suddenly shatter before her. “Of me?” he finally choked out. “Did you think I’d hurt you? Hurt Ava?”
She shook her head, a lone tear slipping down her cheek. “Not physically, no. Of course not.”
She just couldn’t bring herself to keep eye contact with him. The pain on his face was tearing her to shreds inside.
“Then what?”
She took a deep breath, still unable to look at him. “Of history repeating itself. Of Ava having a father who was too busy for her, too caught up in his own world to make time for her.”
His inhale made her finally look up.
“You said so yourself last year, you weren’t ready to settle down. That work was your life, your wife, your baby. I know exactly what it is like to have a dad like that. Until Johnathan adopted me, that’s the only kind of dad I knew. One who treated me like a burden. An obligation. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to put your dreams on hold or give them up, and I didn’t want Ava to ever feel like she was just a pain-in-the-ass child support check.”
God, if he’d looked hurt before, she hadn’t seen anything yet. He was positively gutted.
As Warren stood up, his pain quickly morphed to anger. “You think that little of me then? Our few days together weren’t enough to show you that despite how I may have felt, that I’m also a man who puts family first?” He thrust his arm forward to show off his beautiful tattoo. “Family means everything to me, Silver. I’ll protect it with my life. That child would never be a burden. She would be my whole world.” He glanced down at Ava, who had fallen asleep. “I, too, know exactly what it was like to grow up without a father. To feel unloved by half of yourself. Like you’ve done something wrong and aren’t good enough for them to come home to. And unlike you, I didn’t get a second chance at a decent dad. My mother was my father.” His voice shook, and his nostrils flared. She wasn’t sure if he was going to cry or do a warrior’s wail and leap off the balcony. His jaw jutted out. “You could have handled this so differently, Silver.” He shook his head and turned to leave but stopped and glanced back at her, his eyes falling on Ava and finally softening a touch. “She’s perfect. I wish I’d known her sooner.” Then without another word, he left Silver there, sitting on the couch, babe to her breast and tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Well,” Kylie said with a sigh, sipping her wine, “if that doesn’t prove to you how incredible of a dad he’d be, I don’t know what would.”
Silver cringed. “I know.” She put Ava down in the bedroom shortly after Warren left, then texted Kylie, her fingers trembling with every word typed.
“What are you going to do now?” Ky asked.
Silver shook her head and sipped her water. She only allowed herself one glass of wine a day, given how much she was nursing. She also didn’t want to have too much and then share a bed with Ava; that wasn’t safe. “I have no idea.”
“You want my opinion?”
She nodded.
Kylie chewed on a carrot stick. “Go to his hotel room right now and apologize. Really, truly apologize. I know you’ve said you’re sorry, and you’ve explained your reasons to him, but do it again. Get down on your hands and knees, kiss his feet and ask for forgiveness. Go to him with a plan for visitation and custody, that way if Ava turns out to be his, you’ve got something in place. Be the old Silver, the organized planner who hates spontaneity and thrives on structure.”
Silver snorted. She hadn’t been the old Silver, not really, since the night she went upstairs to Warren’s hotel room. He gave her so much that weekend. Gave her a new identity, a new outlook on life. Not to mention a godawful urinary tract infection from all the sex. Oh, and a baby. Probably … hopefully.
“I mean you want Ava to be his, right?”
Silver nodded. “Better his than Trent’s. Though not much better. Then I’m no better than Trent and slept with my stepbrother and had his baby. Might as well start calling me Candy.” Silver paused and wrinkled her nose. “Don’t, though.”
Kylie growled and tossed a throw pillow at Silver. Silver wasn’t fast enough, and it got her square in the face. “For fuck’s sake. He’s not your stepbrother. He wasn’t your stepbrother when he knocked you up, and he won’t be when your parents get married.”
Silver stuffed the pillow under her arm and glared at Kylie.
“At least not in a Trent and Candy kind of way,” Ky added. “You just met. You haven’t known each other since you were kids, didn’t trade your V-cards in the backyard treehouse.” Both women shuddered at the thought. “It’s not like you grew up together. Get over the whole stepsibling thing. I don’t want to hear it again. Got it?”
Silver had to hand it to Kylie. She was a straight-shooter. Called a spade a spade and knew when to give the tough love. Silver loved her. Even when she hated when her best friend was right, she loved her.
“You think I should go there?”
Ky rolled her eyes. “Yes. Didn’t I just say that? Go shower. You look like shit. Then put on a cute dress and go grovel. Because if luck is on your side, this guy will be your baby’s daddy, and you need to make nice.”
Roughly an hour later, Silver’s silver Jetta pulled up to the curb of Warren’s hotel. It wasn’t even nine o’clock yet, so there was ample daylight and no need for a cardigan or shawl. She handed the valet her keys and said she was going to visit Mr. McAllister in the penthouse. The valet didn’t say a word, but his smile spoke volumes as he slid in behind the steering wheel and adjusted the seat for his long legs.
Silver smoothed down the front of her simple baby-pink eyelet summer dress and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as it got caught up in a gust of wind. Her stomach knotted tightly as she took a couple of steps forward. This could go one of two ways. Either he forgave her, they’d shake hands like friends and plan a potential co-parenting strategy, or he’d slam the door in her face and say he’d see her in court. As she approached the elevator doors, she wasn’t sure which scenario would hurt more. Sure, the former was better, but shaking hands with a man she’d slowly found herself falling in love with this past year would be gut-wrenching. Meanwhile, having the door slammed in her face wouldn’t be pleasant either.
She hadn’t even pressed a button when the door slid open. A couple, handsomely dressed and ready for a night out, stepped from the car, leaving it empty for just her. With lead in her feet and sweat on her palms, she stepped inside and hit P for penthouse. Memories flooded her as the elevator climbed the floors. How could one year feel like an entire lifetime?
So much had changed. She’d changed. She felt the same way when she’d come here for a booty call just last night. Only then she’d been desperate to see him, to keep the secret just a little longer and feel like her old self again, even if only for a moment. Now she was even more tightly wound and hoping to God he didn’t tell her to go to hell and they’d be speaking through lawyers from now on. Because he had every right. She’d screwed up. Big time. And now she had to beg for forgiveness.
The elevator came to a gentle stop, followed by a ding. Smoothly, the doors slid open, revealing an empty hallway. She stepped out and allowed her feet to do the rest. Wiping a sweaty palm on her dress, she made a fist and knocked on the hard wooden door, fear and anxiety a swirling vortex around her as she waited for him to answer.
