Harbor by the Sea, page 1
Harbor
by
The Sea
W. M. Andrews
∞∞∞
Sparrow Ink
www.sparrowink.com
Copyright © 2023 Wendy May Andrews
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced, transmitted, or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
ISBN - 978-1-989634-77-6
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No one talks about what happens when happily ever after goes wrong…
Fall in love, get married, have babies.
It was a simple dream.
Evelyn accomplished the first two easily.
She almost had it all.
Almost.
But after three years of aggressive fertility treatments, all she had to show for her efforts was a broken heart and a painful rift in her marriage. She’d hoped that a dream vacation to the south of France would heal her and her relationship with her husband.
Then Eric suggested she go alone, and she started to question everything.
Did he want a divorce? Or did he just need a break from their shared grief? Evelyn wasn’t sure. All she knew was that if she wanted to find a way to reconnect with Eric, she had to learn to love herself again.
And what better place to do that than a harbor by the sea?
Harbor by the Sea is a sweet, angsty, romantic, contemporary women’s fiction read about hope, the importance of finding one’s own joy, and the enduring power of love. Download today and get ready to root for Evelyn and Eric’s second chance romance.
This women’s friendship fiction book will bring you all the feels. If you love women’s fiction with a side of clean romance, this is a great fit for you.
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Acknowledgements
My first acknowledgment has to go to my awesome, supportive husband. Without his easy-going nature and technical assistance, my books would never make it to publication.
Rebecca, a dear friend and beta reader, gave me invaluable feedback when I struggled in the murky middle. Without her help, this book never would have made it!
Editors are every author’s most important partners and this book was blessed with two – Emily Clark and Julie Sherwood. If you find any mistakes in this book, those are entirely the author’s fault.
My gorgeous cover is thanks to Les at GermanCreative.
Dedication
Evelyn struggles, it seems, with nearly everything. She has tried too hard to shove herself into all the boxes expected of her. Now she’s reached a certain age where some decisions are no longer in her hands and finally she’s angry. This leads her on a journey of discovery to figure out what’s truly important to her. If you’re on a similar journey, this book’s for you. You’ll get there.
XO
Chapter One
“Well, isn’t this romantic?”
Evelyn McConnell could hear the sarcasm dripping from her words. Sarcasm wasn’t her. Or so she thought. There were a lot of things she’d thought about herself that were proving to be untrue. She had thought she’d be a mother by now. Even though she told herself she had accepted her infertility, just thinking about it filled her with sorrow and anger that threatened to swamp her. That was the biggest mistaken thought of her life. She’d thought her husband would always be by her side, but he wasn’t here. And she’d thought she didn’t have a negative bone in her body.
And yet here she was in Nice on her romantic trip of a lifetime. Alone. Childless and alone. And, apparently, feeling a little salty about it.
“It is, in fact.”
Evelyn nearly expired from the embarrassment. She had quite forgotten that people could hear her. Just because she couldn’t understand most of what was being said around her didn’t mean no one could understand her. She ought to remember that when she was talking to herself. Before the embarrassment actually killed her, Evelyn mustered up a reply. As a former executive assistant, she could manage composure in most any situation.
“I’m sorry, I was talking to myself.”
“Often the best companion you’re going to find,” the man said with a grin and a wink. “I’m Carl,” he added. “Where are you from?”
Heat started to climb in Evelyn’s chest. She hoped she didn’t blush right in front of this handsome stranger. He probably wasn’t flirting with her. It was ridiculous to even think that. He looked to be at least five years younger than her, for starters, and in excellent shape. Not to insult herself, but she would readily admit that she hadn’t taken the very best care of herself in recent years. If she were to glance at her reflection right now, she would see a very tired thirty-eight-year-old woman with dishwater hair and eyes that might be green or blue, depending on the light.
She used to look after herself though. Perhaps the man was just a very practiced flirt. A part of her thrilled at the thought of a good-looking man flirting with her. The rest of her rejected the thought.
“My husband and I are from the east coast of the United States.”
“Ah, a husband. Desolé. But then, you see, it is romantic, n’est-ce pas?”
It would be if Eric were here, Evelyn thought, but she couldn’t say that to the French Flirt. That thought brought a contrary amusement to the fore.
Evelyn gestured out the window toward the gorgeous pebble beach and the turquoise sea. “Nothing could possibly be more romantic.”
This time she managed to keep the sarcasm from her tone and her smile pleasantly neutral. She might be mad at her husband for letting her come all the way to France by herself, but she wasn’t about to complicate matters by encouraging a stranger to flirt with her.
Her discouragement tactics seemed to have worked. After a jaunty nod and a smile to her, Evelyn watched with wry amusement as the man turned and found someone else to dally with.
Evelyn turned back to her own concerns. In a foreign country, alone. How was that for romance and togetherness? She and her husband were supposed to be on this trip reconnecting after their headlong pursuit of parenthood had driven a wedge between them. And what about her safety? Didn’t he care about her safety at all? She’d never done anything alone in her entire life.
But of course, as he’d said, she was a “highly capable woman.”
“It will be good for you.”
Evelyn had stared at him.
“Good for me? How will going to a foreign country, all by myself, be good for me?”
At first, she had been more confused than angry, but when he’d said that going alone would be good for her, she had wanted to yell and swear. But she wasn’t the sort to do either, so she had managed to swallow down most of her feelings. Remembering how she had remained calm in the face of Eric’s outlandish statements made her wonder if she were due for a prize. Any woman told by her husband that going on a month-long, international, dream vacation without him would be good for her deserved a medal if she managed not to commit violence upon his person.
Good for her, my patoot. How was being in a foreign country with a foreign language and culture all by herself supposed to be good for her? Was that in the vein of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?
At least he had known it was important to her. He had acknowledged that.
“You’ve been dreaming of seeing the Mediterranean for as long as I’ve known you. Even if I can’t be there, I know you’ll still love it.” He had sounded reasonable, but Evelyn could barely hear him above the ringing in her ears.
Maybe she was just cranky from jetlag. That’s what Evelyn tried to tell herself, anyway, as she glanced uneasily around the tiny little café she was sitting in by herself feeling completely conspicuous even though no one was really looking at her. It was beautiful despite its diminutive size. Evelyn was beginning to realize that was true of everything in Nice. Small and gorgeous. But it would be even better if Eric were there.
Take a deep breath, Evie. Evelyn could almost hear her good friend and neighbor, Rachel, say the words in her ear, and she tried to obey them. Evelyn didn’t do breathing exercises and affirmations like some of her friends did. She had never thought she had the need. She thought her life was bordering on perfect. All they’d needed was a baby to complete it. But things were definitely changing. A couple deep breaths later, and the waiter finally brought the beverage she’d ordered along with the pastry her thighs didn’t need. And as she savored the buttery, flaky goodness of her croissant, she immediately began to feel better.
Café au lait. That was the closest thing she could find to what she was used to drinking—a coffee with cream. It looked delicious despite being the smallest cup of coffee she’d ever seen in her life. The croissant was bigger, and seeing that lightened her spirit, causing a giggle to threaten to overtake her.
If she didn’t want to be conspicuous by sitting alone in a café, she better not start laughing by herself, she thought with another inward roll of the eyes followed by a soft sigh.
Maybe she had just been hungry. Flying through the night, losing six hours from time zone changes, and not really sleeping, would mess up a person’s inner rhythms for sure. This lit
It wasn’t Eric’s fault he wasn’t with her. He had a work emergency. Well. She maybe needed to grow a back bone. She didn’t need to turn into an angry, sarcastic person, but it was his fault. He worked for himself. She was pretty sure he did investments. While he usually went into a big office in the city for his work, surely it was something that could be done online. And if it could be done online, Evelyn was pretty sure even in the south of France they had the internet.
Again with the sarcasm. But this time she kind of liked it. She needed to start standing up for herself, at least within her own thoughts. If Eric was going to send her off on their romantic trip of a lifetime by herself, she was going to make it transformative.
She thought back once again to the moment he had told her he wasn’t going. No one had actually forced her to go alone. On that score, she only had herself to blame.
“I think you should still go.”
Evelyn looked up from the pile of laundry she was sorting. She’d been absorbed in her own thoughts, as usual, and couldn’t fathom what he was talking about. Had she missed part of the conversation?
“I beg your pardon?” A frown of confusion creased her forehead.
“You should go on the trip without me.”
Her frown deepened and she turned fully toward him, blinking. “Why would I do that? I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“Everything is already booked; it wouldn’t be fair for you to miss out.”
“Am I having a brain aneurism?” she had asked, hoping a joke would lighten the moment. “Why would I miss out? Did you tell me something that I’ve forgotten?” Evelyn was genuinely confused. Was she losing her mind? “Are you saying you aren’t going?”
“Yeah,” Eric said with a deep sigh as though he were very put upon. “Something serious has come up at work. I can’t go. But you’ve put so much work into planning the trip. I think it would be really good for you. You should still go.”
Evelyn stared at her husband, unsure how to react to what he was telling her. “I really don’t understand this, Eric. We’ve been planning it for weeks. Of course, we’re going. I don’t think I could actually cancel it at this point. Certainly not with a full refund.”
“Exactly, that’s why I think you should still go.” His gentle emphasis on the “you” filled her with a bleak feeling.
Every emotion chased itself through her. Evelyn couldn’t decide if she were devastated or furious. But she didn’t give vent to any of her feelings. She just swallowed them with a gulp and nodded.
Thinking about it in hindsight, she should have told him how she truly felt, about everything, but especially about the idea of going on their dream trip alone. But, as usual, she had been a pushover, not wanting to stir up any controversy with him. Which was foolish. She loved her husband. And he loved her. Didn’t he?
“Will you still be able to drive me to the airport, do you think? Or should I arrange a taxi? And will you cancel your flight? That’s really the only element that is affected, I suppose. I will still need the apartment.” She was babbling about the practicalities instead of the actual issue. “I can do that for you, if you’d like. I probably should. That way I can make sure my flight isn’t affected, since I bought them together.” If she didn’t take care of the details, she was likely to fall apart. How could he cancel their dream trip that she had spent the last three months obsessively planning, and untold years dreaming about?
“Of course, I’ll drive you. Thank you for understanding. And yeah, it would be great if you could take care of the flight for me.”
“At this point, they might only give you a voucher for another flight,” she warned. “But I guess that will be better than losing out completely.”
Eric sighed again as though she were burdening him. “I know, it’s a waste but it can’t be helped. I’m sorry.”
He didn’t really sound sorry to Evelyn, but she didn’t call him out on it. What could she say anyway? If he didn’t want to go, he didn’t want to go. She understood his work was important and people relied on him. Emergencies did happen. But she thought he’d made arrangements for the time away. Couldn’t whoever he’d arranged to stand in for him look after the emergency? If there really was an emergency. She didn’t know how to ask him about it without sounding like she was making inappropriate accusations. They didn’t do that in their marriage. She didn’t want to start now. But the accusations floated through her head anyway.
Evelyn resumed sorting the laundry. It wasn’t going to wash itself. But now she didn’t have to be too rushed over Eric’s. If he wasn’t going to come with her on their planned dream trip, she didn’t have to give too much thought to his clothes. He wouldn’t be packing any, it would seem.
Was steam coming out of her ears? She was angry enough at the moment that it was just within the realm of possibility.
Just thinking about it now as she took a sip from her ridiculously small coffee cup, even though that was days ago, made anger well up into her chest once again. How could he have thought it was okay to send his overly sheltered, rather clueless wife, off to a foreign country for a month without him? Did he hope she was going to get killed? Would that simplify his life? Then he could find a wife who was able to carry a child for him.
She tried to get out of her head and turned her eyes outside of the café. The glint of the sunshine off the turquoise blue waves was almost blinding. But in a good way. Was blinding ever good? It had to be when it was the Mediterranean. Eve brought her focus inland, closer to the café. As luck would have it, a mom walked by following a laughing toddler, who appeared delighted that she was allowed to walk by herself.
Emotion cramped Evelyn’s chest. The toddler looked to be about three—the age their child would be if they had been able to get pregnant when they’d first started trying in earnest.
Eric had so deeply wanted a biological child. She did, too, of course, but somehow biology had failed them. Eric would be better off if she didn’t make it home from this trip. Or perhaps he just needed a bit of time on his own to look for her replacement.
Evelyn huffed out something that was a cross between a laugh and a sigh. What a ridiculous thought. That wasn’t likely his intention for sending her alone. She knew Eric loved her. At least most of the time she knew it. It was just that her emotions were such a tumult right now and it was difficult for her to imagine why he would love her. But that was ridiculous. Even if he didn’t love her anymore, he didn’t wish her to be killed in a foreign country. It would be easy enough for her to get killed in her own country.
All right, now she was just being ridiculous. It was time for a change of perspective.
Yes, her husband should have come with her as they had planned. No, he wasn’t there as planned. But yes, she was doing just fine. In fact, it could be argued that she was having a great time. She ought to be. The weather was gorgeous, the scenery was too. The pastries were to die for. She had been dreaming of this trip as long as she could remember. There was no reason not to be having a great time. Perhaps she was delusional. She shook her head. At least she had managed just fine on her own thus far.
Already she had learned to do new things. She had managed all her connections and hadn’t gotten lost or even turned around. And now she was in a café alone. It wasn’t the worst experience ever. Evelyn was determined to come out the other end of this content and transformed. Because she needed some transforming, that was for certain.
For one thing, she had to accept that they were going to be a family of two forever. The only way she was going to survive not having a baby was by accepting it. She was getting a little too close to forty. In fact, in just a few months she’d be hitting the last year before that dreaded milestone. No babies would be blessing them.
But that was okay, wasn’t it? People didn’t die from childlessness, did they?
And Eric had finally agreed to take in a foster child. Evelyn had been researching that option for months but it had taken Eric much longer to warm to the idea. When he had agreed to that, she had agreed to stop putting every last cent they had into fertility treatments. And that’s where the money for this trip came from. Because they had decided it rather on the spur of the moment, Evelyn had actually been able to find some great last-minute deals. The flights were a sell-off rate. And the tiny little apartment she could barely turn around in had been a steal. Which was why she hadn’t canceled everything when Eric said, the day before they were set to leave, that he couldn’t get away after all but that she should go on her own.
