Make-Believe Proposal, page 9
She swallowed. "Good night, Roland."
He nodded. As she turned to walk up the stairs, she could feel his gaze on her back, and her skin goose pimpled beneath his stare. What was going on in that head of his? That brilliant, thoughtful, kind, and loving head.
If only she could undo the kiss and roll things back to a time when she saw him as nothing more than an employer and friend. Back to when she could be completely at ease in his presence, and when everything between them was simple. But she couldn't. There was no going back. Not now. That kiss had changed things between them, and she couldn't undo it.
10
"We're going on vacation," said Roland with a grin.
He crunched on a mouthful of toast and wiped his lips with a napkin before setting it back in his lap.
Emma and Caitlin stared at him. Emma grinned. Caitlin’s eyes widened, her mouth full of cereal.
“Yay!” cried Emma.
"What?" asked June. She'd been staring absently out the bay windows to where Frank was playing with the netting that had been part of the trampoline until he gnawed it free.
"We're going to Florida. It's time we took a vacation. I mean, it is summer, after all. Right? And I promised Emma we’d go.”
Caitlin swallowed, and her mouth widened into a smile. "Really? We're truly going on vacation to Florida?"
He nodded.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" She stood and leaped around the kitchen table, her arms pumping in the air.
"Oh Daddy, I can't wait!" added Emma. The teddy bear she always slept with was still tucked under one arm while she ate her breakfast. She adjusted her hold and grinned.
"That's right, and we leave tonight. So, get all your packing done today, I'm sure Magda will help you get the beach things together if you need them, and we'll take the jet to Destin as soon as I get home from work. Just remember, the house in Destin has all the sand toys, towels, games, and things we'll need while we're there, so just pack a few clothes. Anything we forget, we can buy and leave at the beach house."
June's eyes gleamed. “I’ve never been to the beach house, but I've heard about it."
"Yeah, well I haven't liked to go much these days. But it's time we got back into it. I love it down there, at least I used to. And I'm sure we'll all love it this time. It's right on the beach and just outside of Destin, so it’s very private. We'll be able to relax and have a great time."
"How long will you be gone for?" asked June.
"Just four days."
"It's a shame you couldn't go for longer."
"There's just so much going on at work…" And he didn't know if he could trust himself to be alone with June for any longer than that. Four days was probably too long already.
Still, he knew the girls needed it. It had been a long time since they'd gone away together. More than a year, which didn't seem that long to him, but to a six-year-old a year was a lifetime.
June offered a wan smile. "Four days will be amazing. You'll have a wonderful time."
Why did she keep saying you that way?
“You're not coming?" He'd never considered going without June. The thought hadn't crossed his mind, but, of course, if she didn't want to go, she didn't have to. He offered her four weeks off per year as part of her employment package, and she generally used that time to go home to North Carolina. Maybe she was ready for a break as well, a break away from him.
Emma pouted and slipped a hand into June’s, squeezing it tightly. “You have to come. If you’re not going, then I’m not either.”
"I wasn't sure…you didn't say. I'll come if you want me to come,” June said, uncertainty making her voice waver.
"Yes, absolutely. I mean, it's up to you, but I would love you to come. We all would, right, girls?" Roland asked.
Caitlin clutched June's arm and hugged it while Emma still held on tight to her other hand.
“Please come, please. It won't be any fun without you, June,” begged Caitlin.
"Gee, thanks," muttered Roland before laughing. He knew just what she meant. It wouldn't be nearly as much fun without June; he'd told her many times she was the fun one. She forced them to step outside of their comfort zones and got them to have fun when the three of them would quite happily cozy up beside the pool at the beach house and read books or play games.
Once she'd even convinced them all to go snorkeling together at Key West. They’d taken a brief vacation together there with some of his business acquaintances after a conference in Miami. Roland hadn't been certain how Emma would react, given that she was only five years old at the time, but she'd done well. She didn't use a snorkel but swam with goggles, and then clung to his back whenever she needed a rest. It had been one of the best experiences they'd had as a family since Emma was born and since Rosemary's death.
He studied June's face. What was she thinking? Was it their kiss that had her questioning her place in their family?
"Okay, thanks. I'd love to come. As long as it's fine with you. I won't be offended if you want some alone time with the girls." Her eyes searched his, looking for answers.
He smiled and exhaled with relief. "Good. I'm glad you're coming. As the girls already said, so eloquently…" He tickled Emma's ribs, and she squealed. "It wouldn't be the same without you."
June peered through her sunglasses down the length of the beach. The sun glared off the white sand and danced on the shallow waves as they crested then bubbled to shore.
The tide was low and the waves lazy.
They'd been in Destin for two days, and the vacation was passing quickly. So far, they'd swum, built sandcastles, played Monopoly and Uno, and had a wonderful time.
She folded the book shut in her lap and watched as Caitlin chased Emma around their latest sand creation with a small crab clutched between her thumb and forefinger. Emma squealed, arms wide with alarm, and headed for June. She launched herself into June's lap.
June grunted with the impact and then chuckled. "Careful, please. Caitlin, that's enough. You're scaring your sister."
"It's just a crab," pouted Caitlin.
"I know, it's nothing to be afraid of. But Emma's smaller than you, so please don't chase her with it."
Caitlin groaned in frustration, stamped a foot in the sand, then headed back toward the shoreline where she squatted to play with her captive in the shallow water.
Emma curled into June's lap with a contended purr. "She's mean."
"No, she's not. She's just having fun."
"It's not fun to me."
June nodded. "I can see that, and that's why I asked her to stop. But she didn't mean to upset you."
"I hate her."
June's eyes narrowed, and she lifted Emma's chin with her fingertip until the little girl's eyes looked into her own. "Sweetheart, please don't say that. I want you to think carefully before you choose your words. We don't say 'hate'. You can say you don't like what she was doing, but you don't hate her. She's your family, you love her. The love you girls have for each other will last forever, and one day you'll be the best of friends."
"We will?"
June nodded. "Trust me. You're so blessed to have a sister. I wish I had one. I only have a brother, and I love him too, but it'd be nice to have a sister to do things with."
Emma considered her words, curling into a tighter ball. "I guess. Only, I wish she wouldn't scare me."
June laughed. "That's a much better choice of words. Thank you."
"Do you love me like family?" Emma asked suddenly, squirming in June's lap until her face was level with June's.
June's heart skipped a beat. "Yes, I do."
"And Caitlin?"
"Yep. I love you and Caitlin like you're my family. Sometimes I feel like you are part of my family, we spend so much time together."
"And Daddy?"
June's breath caught in her throat and heat rushed to her face. "Uh yeah, Daddy too."
"Are you sure you love Daddy? Because sometimes you seem mad at him."
One of June's eyebrows arched high. "I do?"
"Yep, you don't talk to him much. And you don't look at him."
June's heart fell. Was it so obvious? She'd been avoiding Roland and at the same time doing her best to hide the fact. Still, if Emma had picked up on it, there was no way Roland hadn't. He must have noticed the change in her. And that wasn't something she wanted; she wanted things to go on the way they had been. But it was impossible for her to look at him, sit next to him, brush up against him the way she had in the past without her stomach twisting into knots and her head spinning.
She drew in a deep breath. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'll work on that. I love your daddy too, it's just that sometimes grown-up relationships are complicated."
Emma studied her through squinted blue eyes. "What does that mean?"
"Uh…" What could she say? That the feelings she had for Roland were growing, changing. That she wasn't sure what the future held for them, or if Roland even wanted her around anymore. He hadn't taken the opportunity of them being in Destin to talk to her about their kiss, or what it might mean. Ever since she told him things between her and Casey were finished, he hadn't said a word other than to discuss what they'd do each day, what was going on with the girls, or where they might eat for dinner.
"It just means that you don't have to worry, everything is fine. I love all three of you like you're my very own family, and that isn't going to change." But the words stuck in her throat, and a lump formed around them. The truth was, she didn't know. There was no way of telling whether things would change, or if she'd be around in a year's time, or even a month's time. If Roland wanted her gone, she wouldn't make him wait the obligatory sixty days listed in her contract, she wouldn't be able to stand to be around him, knowing he didn't want her there.
Caitlin was edging ever farther into the water, still wearing a summer dress over her swimsuit. June deposited Emma back on her feet and stood, then brushed the sand off her rear and shaded her eyes to watch.
"Caitlin!"
The girl glanced up, a look of irritation washing over her pretty features. "Uh huh?"
"Please come up here and take off your dress if you're going in the water."
Caitlin dragged her feet slowly up the beach. June decided they'd all go in for one last swim before they headed inside the beach house for the evening. It perched behind them, far up the bank, resting in between a series of sloping sand dunes on stout posts that sank deep into the sand beneath it.
White shutters flanked square windows, a steep staircase led up to a square covered porch, and the fabric of a closed beach umbrella riffled in the breeze.
There was no sign of Roland. He'd taken Frank for a walk, and the two of them hadn't returned yet.
She gave her attention back to the girls, covering them both with thick sun cream around their brightly colored swimsuits. Caitlin's was getting a little tight. It seemed it was time to buy her some more. The girl was growing out of everything. Thankfully, June had one of Roland's credit cards, and he let her buy anything she thought the girls needed with it.
Even with all his wealth, he didn't like to go overboard where the girls were concerned. He'd told her when she started working for him that he wanted them to have as normal an upbringing as possible, and she'd watched him work hard to achieve just that over the two years since.
Still, she didn't remember taking a private jet to their beach house for summer vacation when she was a girl. She smirked to herself as she applied a layer of sunscreen and watched Caitlin and Emma make their way down to the water's edge. Being the daughter of a pastor and a homemaker, she was well accustomed to cutting corners and watching every penny. Their summer vacations were usually spent on the North Carolina coast where they'd stayed with her aunt, uncle, and cousins in the Outer Banks, or in a high-rise condo at Daytona Beach if her parents were feeling extravagant.
She padded down the beach, enjoying the feel of the sand beneath her feet and between her toes. At the water's edge, she paused to test out the temperature with the tip of one toe. She'd already been swimming that morning, but the sun had dipped toward the horizon and long shadows played along the sand from the beach grasses and sand dunes. The water had cooled, and a breeze ruffled the blonde hair that hung loosely around her shoulders.
She combed fingers through her hair to pull it back and out of her eyes and stepped gingerly forward. Caitlin and Emma were already laughing, squealing, and jumping over each small wave as it bounded beachward.
Before long, she'd slid beneath the water's surface, feeling the shock of cold as it seeped through her blue swimsuit and goose pimpled her skin. In the distance, a man and a small dog strode toward them. Roland.
Just the sight of him set her heart pounding.
She frowned. Things had changed between them so quickly.
She ducked her head under a wave, reveling in the coolness of the water as it washed over her. Caitlin and Emma stood close by, competing over who could jump higher over the waves, or who could make the biggest splash. She laughed at them, then stood and squeezed the water from her hair.
Roland and Frank were close now. Roland waved, and she lifted a hand in response. Just then, something wrapped around her left leg. She jumped, then the sting came. Pain stabbed through her leg, and she stumbled toward the shore.
"Girls, get out of the water!" she cried, shepherding them onto the beach with both arms waving.
The pain was intense. She hadn't seen anything in the water, but the only thing she could think was jellyfish. It had to be.
As soon as the girls were safely out of the water, she collapsed onto the sand and studied her legs. A single tentacle was still wrapped around her right ankle. She grimaced, clenching her teeth together.
Roland ran toward her across the sand. He squatted beside her, concern etched on his face. "What's wrong?"
"Are you hurt?" asked Caitlin, hovering close by.
"What is it?" asked Emma.
All three of them crowded around her, and she inhaled sharply as the pain radiated through her leg.
"Jellyfish," she groaned.
Roland ran up the beach and soon returned with a towel. He brushed the tentacle free of her leg then ran for the beach house.
"Does it hurt?" Caitlin knelt in the sand beside her, resting a hand on June's arm.
June nodded. "It does. But don't worry, I'll be okay. You girls just stay out of the water for now. Okay?"
They both nodded solemnly.
Roland soon emerged from the beach house, ran down the stairs and across the sand. He held a large plastic container between both hands.
"Vinegar," he said as he poured the liquid over her legs.
The relief was instantaneous.
"Thank you," she said through gritted teeth. She groaned and lay back on the sand. "Wow, that really hurts."
"Girls, grab your things. We're going inside," responded Roland.
Before she knew what he was doing, he'd scooped June up into his arms and was carrying her up the beach. In too much pain to protest, she curled an arm around his neck and nestled into his chest, her eyes squeezed shut.
As Roland carried her, pushing forward with each step as his feet sank into the sand, the thud of his heart resounded against her ear where it was pressed against his shirt. He was warm after his walk, and she was dripping wet.
"I'm sorry, you're getting wet," she said.
He smiled down at her. "Don't worry about that."
"Thank you," she whispered.
His look turned serious. "Are you okay? Or should we call a doctor?"
She shook her head. "I think the pain's subsiding now. I'll be all right. Just some Tylenol should do it."
Caitlin opened the back door to the beach house, and he maneuvered June through it. The strength of his arms—one beneath her legs, the other around her back—surprised her. She knew he worked out, but often forgot what great shape he was in. She'd overlooked so many things about him in the past. What else had she seen in him but not acknowledged, or known but not understood?
Caitlin laid one of their towels down on a wicker couch, and Roland set June down on top of it. She stretched out, squinting through the pain as it radiated out from her leg. Red lines marked the place where, minutes earlier, the tentacle had clung. She studied it, then collapsed against the couch cushions with a sigh.
Roland sat on a stool beside her to bathe her leg with cotton wipes dipped in white vinegar. Caitlin and Emma sat on the floor beside her, Emma pushed one small hand into June's and squeezed it.
Her throat tightened.
Each of the girls wore a worried expression that tugged at her heart. They really loved her. She'd known that, but seeing it in action, seeing their emotion written all over their faces, it hit home for the first time. How could she consider leaving them? She and Roland would just have to work things out, she couldn't do that to them, not after everything they'd already lost.
11
Roland watched as June hobbled to the car. She wore a brave expression on her face, but he knew she must still be experiencing some discomfort from the jellyfish sting. She hadn't allowed him to call in a doctor and said that it was already feeling better, but he could tell by the way she moved that it must hurt.
He sighed and combed fingers through his hair, setting it on end. It wasn't the same as seeing his wife fading away after bringing their child into the world. But witnessing the look on June's face when she'd stumbled from the ocean had set his heart racing with fear.
He swallowed and climbed into the driver's seat. The Mustang was an impulse purchase the last time they were in Destin. Before that, he'd had a Jeep, but on the last trip decided it was time for a change. He turned the key, then waited as the top rolled down. It was a beautiful evening, the sun still lingered along the horizon, and the balmy air was perfect for a ride through Destin in the convertible.
"Ready to go?" he asked, to a chorus of affirmation.
He pulled the car out of the drive, watching in the rearview mirror as the gate swung shut behind them, then revved the engine and pushed down on the accelerator. He loved the feel of the engine's power as the vehicle raced along the highway toward the sleepy beachside town.
