Make-Believe Proposal, page 5
"That's okay. Goes with the territory, I guess." He gathered his things together as the rest of the group filtered gradually from the room.
"So, are you dating the nanny?"
His cheeks colored. "Uh, no. I'm not."
"I'm glad."
His brow furrowed. "Oh?"
"Well, maybe we could go out sometime? Grab something to eat, get to know each other better."
The scent of jasmine filled his nostrils and made his head spin.
"Uh…I don't know. Things are busy right now…"
Her eyes clouded over, and she took a step backward, her smile fading. Then, the smile returned as quickly as it had left. "No problem. Maybe some other time."
"Yeah, some other time."
She spun on her heel and sashayed from the room. He watched as her skirt flipped around her shapely legs, then inhaled sharply and ran his fingers through his hair.
Why didn't he want to date Barbara? She was beautiful, smart, ambitious—all qualities he appreciated and admired. He'd known her long enough to see that she had a kind heart, even if she often ignored it to get ahead. He could have invited Barbara to the fundraiser tomorrow night. Now that the media were all over him and June, he could hardly take her as his date. It was always awkward showing up to those things now Rosemary wasn't by his side. And for this particular event, he’d never been anything but alone.
He sighed and strode from the room. He was lonely, so maybe he should have agreed to go out with her. It was just a meal. Nothing. Less than nothing. If it didn't work out, then he could end things, and no one would have to be hurt. But he didn't want to go out with Barbara, didn't want to get to know her better. He wanted to go home and see his family.
As much as he longed to find someone to share his life with, the process was daunting to him. He had Caitlin and Emma to think about, and their needs surpassed his own. How could he bring another woman into their lives? The mother they'd lost had been special. She'd brought light and joy into his life, had introduced him to the God who loved him and had carried him through the heartache of losing her.
She'd been a mother to their children, even though she'd never known Emma. Her death left a gap in their lives that not just anyone could fill. And whoever he brought home would have to love the girls as much as she loved him. Was there anyone who would do that? Anyone who could fill Rosemary's empty shoes? The thought made his stomach churn.
6
June wiped the counter with a wet cloth, then rinsed it under the faucet. She sighed and leaned against the countertop. It had been a long day. The girls had finally gone to sleep after five books, two glasses of water each, and a song. And still, Roland wasn't home.
He often worked late but tried to get home to see his daughters before they went to bed whenever he could. This afternoon he'd had a video chat with them instead, knowing he wouldn't make it back until late.
And as much as she hated to admit it, when he wasn't there, she felt very alone. She had Tandy and the rest of her friends, but it wasn't the same thing. After two years of living away from North Carolina, she missed home. Missed Mom, Jax, her college friends. Ever since Casey broke up with her, her homesickness had grown. And Roland's presence helped her forget all that. He and the girls were the closest things she had to a family nearby. Her brother Jax and his wife Stacey lived in Atlanta as well, but they were both so busy with their own lives she rarely saw them.
The garage door whirred in the still night, then she heard the slam of a car door. Roland was home. Finally.
Her feet ached. She closed the door of the dishwasher and pressed the start button. It beeped, then began to run.
"Hi," said Roland from behind her.
She turned to see him smiling her way. He set his briefcase down beside the counter and slipped onto a barstool. His hair stood on end as though he'd been combing his fingers through it. It was something he did whenever he was anxious or pondering.
"Hi. You hungry?"
He nodded. "Famished. We had dinner before the meeting, but it was all finger foods and I hardly got to eat anything since so many people wanted to talk to me."
She pulled a plate from the refrigerator, took off the saran wrap and pushed it into the microwave. "I figured that would happen, so I made you a plate."
He pressed a hand over his heart. "Ah…thank you. You're a lifesaver. What is it?"
"Chicken and pasta."
"With the sun-dried tomato pesto?"
She set her hands on her hips and grinned. "Yes."
"I love that dish. You'd better be careful, you're making yourself completely indispensable around here and I might never let you leave."
She laughed. He said that kind of thing a lot, and it always warmed her heart. She loved that she was so appreciated for her work. It made her want to stay forever, though she knew that couldn't happen. One day the girls would be grown and wouldn't need her anymore. The thought let loose a flock of butterflies in her stomach—what would she do then?
"It's just as well I have no intention of leaving then, isn't it?"
He grinned. The microwave pinged, and she pulled the hot plate free, then set it on the counter in front of him. She found a clean fork in the silverware drawer and set it beside his plate, then she pulled up a barstool beside him and slumped onto it, resting her chin in one hand, her elbow on the gray marble countertop.
"Hard day?" he asked, before pushing a forkful of steaming hot pasta into his mouth.
"Long. The girls were full of energy and had a great time. We swam. Then the neighbor's kids came over and swam with us, and then we all played hide and seek, and tag. After that, I fed everyone lunch, which at that point had grown to be six children. I sent the rest of them home afterward, so the girls could have some quiet time, and then we spent the afternoon painting and drawing. All of that activity left behind a lot of mess. So, I just finished cleaning up when you came in."
He nodded. "Sounds like you did an amazing job. We're so blessed to have you."
She smiled wearily. "Thank you. I love it here, even if my head and feet do ache in equal measure."
The faint scent of his aftershave tickled her nose. It was heady, masculine, and sweet all at the same time.
"How was your day?" she asked.
He finished chewing a bite, swallowed and cocked his head to one side. "Interesting."
"Oh?"
"You know we're the topic of the day. Right?"
She nodded and pressed both hands to her face with a groan. "I know. I've been avoiding going online or outside. It's crazy. What did you tell people?"
"Everyone at work wanted to know about me and my hot nanny."
"Ugh! That's what they're calling me?"
He grinned. "Charming, isn't it? Anyway, I told them it was all a big misunderstanding. We're not engaged, not even dating. I think they accepted it. And I asked them not to talk to anyone about it, so hopefully, it'll just die off naturally soon enough."
She nodded. Why did his words make her heart heavy? It was the truth. They weren't dating, weren't engaged. But the way he said it, as though it was a relief, put a sag in her shoulders.
"It did have one interesting side effect."
"What was that?" she asked, her lips pursed.
"Barbara asked me out."
"Barbara Holland?"
"Yep."
"Wow, what did you say?" Her heart thudded strangely, and she held her breath.
"I told her I was too busy. Lame, huh?"
"Too busy?"
"Yep. But the truth is, I should've said yes. I don't know what's stopping me,” he said.
"Maybe she's just not the right woman for you." A strange knot formed in her gut. Barbara Holland was definitely not the kind of woman she'd choose for Roland if she had the opportunity to choose. Which she didn't. But still, that woman was opportunistic, driven, even cold at times. She was good at her job, there was no denying it, but Roland deserved someone warm, fun, and open.
"Maybe. Although, if I'd thought about it, I could’ve asked her to the Preventing Maternal Deaths fundraiser tomorrow night."
"That's tomorrow?"
"Yes, and I don't have a date. I don't really need one. I've gone the past six years without one, but I think it'd be less awkward if I had someone to sit with. I'm always the only single one at a table full of couples, and so generally have an empty seat beside me. I spend the entire night answering the question of where my wife is since I always seem to find the only people in the city who don’t know…”
He sighed, and combed his fingers through his hair again, setting it even more wildly on end than it had been before.
"I'm not busy tomorrow night…" offered June, her cheeks warming. She wasn't usually so pushy when it came to dates, but this wouldn't be a date. She'd just be helping Roland out. If he didn't want her to go, he'd say so.
He quirked an eyebrow. "Really? You'd come to some stuffy fundraiser with me?"
"Sure, why not?” She knew what the event meant to him, had seen him dress up for it twice now, and always wondered why he didn’t try to find a date. She’d never asked him, but, given the nature of the event and the way Rosemary died, she’d guessed. Her heart jittered in her chest at the thought of going to the biggest celebrity attended fundraiser in the Atlanta social calendar on the arm of a successful billionaire entrepreneur who also happened to be her friend and boss. A smile tickled the corners of her lips. It’d be fun, and she could use a little fun in her life.
Tandy pushed her black curls out of her wide brown eyes and grinned at June. “You’re going on a date with Roland? About time, girl.”
June shrugged. “It’s not like that. I think he just needed someone to go with him. Like a last-minute type of thing.”
Caitlin and Emma stirred their baby cappuccinos with tiny silver spoons, then Emma popped the marshmallow into her mouth, leaving a trail of powdered sugar on the tip of her nose and her chin. June smothered a smile behind her hand as she reached for a packet of sugar.
“Well, whatever his reason, it’s gonna be great.”
“Maybe. I’m not really sure what to say or do when I’m around rich folks. I’ll stick out like a sore thumb at an event like that. Everyone else will be wearing Dior and…see, I don’t even know what other fashion labels might be there because I’m just not a part of that world. I can tell you one thing, my dress from Macy’s isn’t going to cut it.”
“It’ll be beautiful.” Tandy waved a hand, her brow furrowed. “Don’t you worry about that. You just have a good time. I mean, how often do you get to go out and enjoy yourself? When was the last time you got all dressed up to go to an event?”
June nodded, her lips pursed. “Good point.”
“And it doesn’t hurt that he’s smoking hot.”
June laughed. “No, it doesn’t. Too bad he’s just a friend.”
Tandy’s lips pursed. “Yeah, too bad. Maybe I should go out with him since you don’t seem to appreciate what a good thing you have right in front of you.”
“Feel free to ask him out.” June stirred the sugar into her latte, a smile teasing her lips. Tandy always gave her a hard time about Roland, but she just didn’t understand. Their relationship was different—it wasn’t like any other she’d ever had in her life. Yes, he was attractive, but she didn’t think of him that way. She saw him as her boss and friend. Nothing more. And it wouldn’t help anyone for that to change, especially not her.
If things between them ever developed into something more, what would happen if they broke up? She wouldn’t be able to work day after day with an ex-boyfriend, living in his pool house, raising his children, and watching him date other women. It would be too strange, and likely painful. She couldn’t risk her position as the girls’ nanny. She loved it too much, and it would be hard to find another job as good as this one. No, she and Roland were friends, he was her boss, and that’s how it had to stay.
June turned one way, then the other, scrutinizing her reflection in the full-length mirror that hung from the back of her bedroom door. The yellow dress she wore clung to her curves, and she frowned. It was a bit too revealing for a fundraiser with her billionaire boss.
She slipped it off over her head and reached for the black one. It was a sheath with a high neckline and a slight ruffle at the hem. Whenever nothing else worked, the black dress was her fail-safe. It looked good when she was bloated, tired, and even when she'd had too much fried chicken to eat.
Perfect.
She ran her hands down the front of the dress, smoothing it into place and smiled.
She strode out of the room and peered through the floor to ceiling windows that fronted the apartment behind the pool where she lived. She could see the babysitter playing some kind of game on the floor of the living room with the girls. Dolls were strewn all over the tiles around them in a circle.
They loved to play dolls. Even Caitlin, who liked to act as though she was too old, couldn't resist whenever June pulled the box of dolls and their clothes out of the toy room cabinet.
Kelly, the babysitter, lived two houses down from the Kirks. She was only sixteen years old but had known Caitlin and Emma their whole lives. The girls loved her, and always looked forward to a night with their older playmate. June appreciated being able to get away some evenings even when Roland was busy, and tonight she'd be with him.
He often went to lavish functions and fancy affairs, and she'd wondered what they were like as he climbed into a stretch limousine and headed down the long drive. This time she'd get to experience it alongside him.
A flutter of nerves exploded in her stomach. It was almost like living in a fairytale with Roland at times. Only he wasn't her Prince Charming, just her very charming boss. Still, she couldn't help the excitement that buzzed and built inside her.
The intercom crackled, then Roland's voice boomed out from the small speaker. "June? You ready? The car's here."
She pushed a hand to her stomach to calm her nerves, inhaled slowly, then reached for her small, black purse. She strung it over her shoulder, slipped her feet into her siren red pumps, and hurried out of the apartment, locking the door behind her.
Her heels clicked on the decking that surrounded the pool, and the girls looked up from their play. Caitlin's eyes widened, and Emma smiled shyly.
They jumped to their feet and ran to greet her at the back door. Caitlin flung it open and stared at June with pink cheeks.
"Wow, June. You look like a princess!" she declared.
June's face flushed with warmth. "Thank you, short stuff. That's very encouraging."
"Very pretty," added Emma, pushing herself partially behind the door frame, and sticking her thumb into her mouth.
June frowned. What were they going to do about it? And what was causing her to regress in this way? She felt for the little girl. If only they could find a way to bring her out of her shell. Every now and then they saw a confident, happy, noisy side of her, but that girl disappeared in a moment to be replaced by a quiet, withdrawn six-year-old with a solemn look on her cherub face.
June squatted down in her heels, reached for Emma, and drew the little girl into her arms.
"Hey darlin', are you feeling okay?"
"I'm gonna miss you," replied Emma with a stifled sob.
"I won't be gone long, and you'll be asleep most of the time. So, when you open your eyes in the morning, you'll know that I'm home and we can spend the whole day together."
"Really? You promise."
"Of course." Where was this coming from? Emma seemed very unsure that June would return, but June was always there with them. Day after day.
Emma kissed June on the cheek, then June stood and straightened her dress. She kissed Caitlin on her forehead, just as Roland walked into the room, his brow creased in thought.
"There you are, I was just…" His eyes widened. "You look amazing."
He stopped short, his gaze fixed on her. A smile crinkled the corners of his eyes, and the intensity behind them set her heart pounding.
"I'm ready," she said, breathlessly.
He nodded as if emerging from a trance. "Right, time to go. I was just coming to look for you. We'll be late if we don't hurry."
7
The line of cars was backed up around the block. June leaned forward in her seat to stare out through the limousine's tinted glass windows.
"Wow, there are so many people," she said.
Roland nodded. "It's a popular event. But it's taken us six years to make it that way. The first year we only had about twenty attendees, now we're up to six hundred."
"Amazing. You've worked really hard at this."
"I had to pull every string, call in every favor the first few years, but it's a must-attend event on the Atlanta social calendar now. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but there it is." He frowned and ran a hand across his mouth.
"It's all about the fundraising though, right?"
"Yes, we raise a lot more money, so that's what matters. We've managed to contribute over a million dollars to help reduce maternal deaths just from this event alone."
She'd never realized just how much he'd put into it, but it was obvious how proud he was of the work they'd done. She sat back in her seat and reached for his hand to squeeze it. "It really is fantastic. You should be proud of all you've achieved, and how many people you've helped."
He nodded, his face drawn. "I still hate all the crowds, and the cameras." He grimaced. "Here we go."
The car pulled up in front of the doors. A red carpet was draped across the sidewalk and up the wide staircase to the Atlanta Gallery of Modern Art where the event was being held.
Her stomach twisted, and she felt nauseated. Then, her door opened, and she stepped out, careful to keep her skirt pulled low on her dress and her knees together. Reading the tabloids had taught her that if nothing else.
She grinned and slid her hand through the crook of Roland's waiting arm. Cameras flashed, and photographers called out her name, Roland's name, and anything else they could think of to attract their attention. They stood side by side for several long moments, smiling into the lights, then turned and headed for the stairs. Her heart raced, and her head spun.
