A Cruel Confession, page 12
“Do you remember seeing Hannah and Jessie in the house?”
I need it confirmed. I need to know if Lucas had lied to me. I had found Alex after I had crept away from the door and dragged him out here.
The branches of the trees bend with the weight of the snow.
“Yes, your friends. What is this about Ella?” Alex faces me.
“Just focus on the tree line, I don’t want it to look like we are talking,” I say.
“So we look like we are standing in the snow staring at the trees?” I hate the humor in Alex’s voice.
“Just answer my questions. Were all the girls sent home?” I hate the urgency in my voice.
Alex faces forward. “Yes, except for Hannah and Jessie.”
A sob tears from me. “Do you know where they are?”
Alex doesn’t answer me and I look at him.
“Ella…” He’s shaking his head. “What are you going to do?”
“Please, just tell me.”
His eyes are conflicted and I step up to him and grip his arm. “Please Alex.”
He looks at my hand on his. “Henry is keeping them in a cell under the shed.”
My stomach turns and bile rises up my throat.
“Ella, you can’t do anything.”
I release Alex as the world spins. In the distance I see Lucas making his way to us. My heart jumps. He had told Aine I was not to be told.
How could he?
“Please don’t mention this conversation.” I glance at Alex. “Please, Alex.”
He nods his head with furrowed brows.
”Are you trying to make yourself sick?” Lucas asks once he reaches us. Alex spins around.
I want to slap Lucas. My heart jumps as his dark eyes pin me in place.
“I just needed some air.” My heart palpitates.
Lucas’s eyes tighten and he glares at Alex. “Did you do something to her?”
Alex pales and I laugh. Both of them look at me like I’ve lost my mind and it feels a bit like that.
“You did. How stupid did I look in there?” I had no idea what was going on. “You let me step into that room blind.” I’m shouting at him, when all I wanted to do was scream about how cruel he is for leaving Hannah and Jessie in Henry’s hands.
“I didn’t want to frighten you.” His words are controlled.
“No, just make me look weak and stupid.” I want to scream at him so badly.
“You didn’t look weak or stupid. You did great.” Lucas is looking at me like my outburst is unwarranted.
“I had no idea about people being murdered and Henry being involved.” My heart breaks. I want him to tell me so we can do this together.
He’s staring at me like I’ve lost my mind.
“Is there anything else you haven’t told me, because right now would be a good time?”
I’m waiting and watching as snow lands on his dark hair and melts. He is a picture standing in the snow, and I hate him for that. I want him to fix this. I want him to go and get them, and bring them here so they are safe.
I’m aware of how stiff Alex is beside me, but I can’t contain the rage that is bubbling through my system.
“No. Now you know everything. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Lucas says.
Liar.
I want to call him out on it, but right now I need distance from him before I say something I regret.
I shake my head and step away from him, his hand reaches out and grabs my wrist.
“Ella, is there something else bothering you? You know you can talk to me about anything.”
I look up into dark eyes that flicker to Alex. He still thinks Alex said or did something to cause my anger. “No Lucas. This is all on your shoulders. You kept me in the dark and I don’t appreciate it.”
“I’m sorry. Tell me how I can fix this.” His eyes plead with me and I have a moment of just wanting to step into his arms and allow him to take it all away.
“I need space.”
He flinches like I’ve slapped him. His fingers slip from my wrist and the loss of contact is immediate.
I swallow as I walk away from Lucas. The snow is growing deeper so I have to lift my legs higher, it’s not the most graceful exit as I enter the house. Everyone is in the living space. Elizabeth looks at me with a smile and I force one back. I dodge George’s questioning look and Aine’s smiling face as I enter my room and close the door.
I can’t breathe, my lungs contract painfully. I need to calm down. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I place my head in between my legs and take deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. My heart won’t slow and I get that horrible feeling like it’s not beating correctly; it feels like it’s missing a beat. Standing, I bounce on my feet trying to help the blood rush through my body. The door opens and Lucas stands in the doorway, his hair is damp from the snow and he runs his hands through it before closing the door behind him. My heart beats faster and I turn away from him but continue to bounce on my feet.
“Not now, Lucas.” I can’t deal with him.
“I know you asked for space but we need to talk about this.”
Any other time I would have loved to hear those words. Any other time he would have disappeared, leaving me looking for him. But right now, I needed to calm down.
“Why are you bouncing?” He moves around me and I don’t look up at him.
“I think I’m having a panic attack.” Or a heart attack, my heart beat is off.
Lucas starts to bounce in front of me, mimicking my movements. “What are you doing?” I finally look at him. My stomach twists.
“Helping you.”
“By bouncing?” I exhale loudly before I inhale through my nose. Lucas copies me and I want him to stop.
“You’re not helping!” I bark and I swear I see humor in his dark eyes.
“I think I am, there is color in your cheeks.” My heart beats fast, but it’s not skipping beats. He wasn’t helping me, he was distracting me. Which in turn is helping, a voice says in the back of my head.
“That’s my temper,” I say as I flex my hands. My heart rate was slowing.
“I know. Did I ever tell you how sexy you are when you’re angry?” His smile is killing me.
Why did he have to lie to me? I hate him for making me feel bad, like I’m the one hurting him.
“I wish you would tell me the truth,” I say and stop bouncing, so does he.
In the silence of the room he has the perfect opportunity.
“I wish you would tell me the truth.” He echoes my words.
“I am,” I say and swallow. I wasn’t, but that’s because he wasn’t.
“I never lied to you, Ella. I withheld information that I thought would be too heavy on you. I really thought all of this would get resolved quicker and you would never need to see the uglier part of my family.”
His words made sense about the murders. I think I could have lived without knowing about them.
“But I need to know things that will affect me.”
Lucas closes the distance and takes my face in his hands. “How do you feel now?”
“Better.” I answer honestly, in his hands, I feel like we are the only two that exist. “Is there anything else you need to tell me, Lucas?”
His eyes search my face and my heart starts to gallop. Tell me and I will forgive you. I plead with my eyes.
“No, I think you know everything now.” He places his lips on my forehead. “I was only trying to protect you.”
The kiss sears me, and I want to push him away. It’s so easy to get lost with Lucas, it is like dreaming and then waking up. I need to wake up. I need to help Jessie and Hannah.
I lean into him and wrap my arms around his waist. His relief at my submission has him pulling me tighter to his chest while placing several kisses to the crown of my head.
“Asher is making dinner now. We better join the others.” Lucas’s voice rumbles through his chest and I bite back the tears that want to spill.
“Let me freshen up and I’ll be there in a minute.” I release Lucas and don’t look at him as I step away from him. I need to let him believe that everything is fine.
“Are you okay now?” He asks.
I turn to him and force a smile. “An early night after dinner and I’ll be fine.”
His eyes search my face, so I turn away and gather a clean jumper and trousers. I give one final smile before I make my way to the bathroom where I wash my face and change my clothes. Tonight when he slept, I would leave and get Hannah and Jessie. I couldn’t leave them down there. I knew he would be mad at me, but he would forgive me. I was willing to forgive him for not telling me.
I just needed to get through these next few hours.
CHAPTER NINTEEN-LUCAS
I try to keep it together as I leave the bedroom. I am going to kill him. She’s lying to me and I have no idea why she is hiding something from me. The only thing I can think of is Alex. What had he said to her outside? He had looked so happy when she was shouting at me. The louder she was getting, the happier he was.
I tighten my fists and tell myself to remain somewhat calm. He’s standing at the fireplace talking to his father and Aine. The little fucker is smiling, his eyes flicker to me and I still see that smile. He did something. I know it.
My mother watches me as I step into the space. She’s ready to approach me, I can see it in her eyes, so I step away before she can corner me. Pulling off my damp jumper, I leave it on the back of a chair in the kitchen. I fix the black shirt I am wearing under it as George arrives with a bowl of carrots and places them on the table.
He pauses. “I’m proud of you.” They weren’t words I’d heard before. I stand straighter and look down at the old man. I see the pride in his eyes.
“You grew into a fine man and you will make a great leader.”
He had no idea the effect his words had on me. “Thank you, George.”
He reaches up and grips my shoulder.
“Ella, I was telling Aine about my skills in jokes, you can testify to my greatness.”
I freeze at Alex’s voice. I try not to look over my shoulder.
“He’s so bad, they fall flat.” Ella’s words are said with a fondness and Aine laughs.
George’s hand slips from my shoulder and I focus on him again. “She loves you.” His brows furrow. He must have felt me tense under his touch.
I relax and pat his shoulder gently as I walk over to Ella. She stiffens at my arrival and I hate it.
“Alex, you must tell us a joke.” Aine nods at me before returning her attention to Alex, who is basking in the attention. I lean in and kiss Ella on the cheek, she looks up and her smile is heavy. I don’t like it.
“Where do you find a cow with no legs?” Alex smiles and I want to smash my fist into his mouth. What kind of stupid joke was this? I glance at Ella to find her smiling at Alex, it looks genuine.
“I don’t know.” Aine shakes her head.
Alex smiles at Ella. “Ella, you try, you are good at these.”
Ella gives a short laugh. “That’s such a lie.” She exhales loudly as she thinks. “I don’t know. In a field?” She asks.
I’m imagining if Ella wasn’t with me and I had to watch her love someone else. I think I would actually kill Alex. This I couldn’t accept.
Alex laughs and I’m looking around to see if I am the only one who wants to strangle him. “Right where you left it.” He answers and Aine laughs.
“Ella was right. They are very bad,” Aine says, but her voice still sings with humor.
“Food’s ready.” Asher is wearing a pair of mitts on his hands and he looks happy. Were his eyes lingering on Ella and Alex longer? I take her hand and her head snaps up at me in surprise.
“You hungry?” I try to drag all her attention back to me. She nods and I hate how her lashes flutter closed. She’s cutting me off and I know whom to blame. I glance up to find Alex looking at me. I hope he sees the promise in my eyes that I will kill him if he’s upset her.
His eyes fill with fear and he scurries off to the table.
Everyone is seated and I don’t want to join them. I pause.
“You okay?” I ask Ella, tilting her face up towards me.
“I’m so tired.” She sounds truthful and she looks tired.
I press my lips to hers and some of the tension leaves my body when she kisses me back. She was mine. I remind myself.
We join the rest at the table. I am very aware of how many times that Alex stares over at Ella. He was testing me. I smile through most of the meal as I think of all the ways I can hurt him. I answer all the questions. Each time I look at Ella, I see the turmoil in her and it’s killing me.
“I am a romantic.” Aine declares at the table and she is looking at Ella. “Tell us about your first date. I love a good story.”
Ella’s wide green eyes stare up at me, her cheeks burn and I wonder what she is thinking. Our first date was the picnic when I tasted her in the maze. Her face grows hotter and I can’t stop the grin.
“We had a beautiful picnic in the garden.” Ella’s soft voice is filled with a smile and I want her to stay this way.
“Lucas was very charming.” She glances up at me and my grin turns into a smile.
“He gets that from me.” My mother says and everyone laughs. I don’t. I want to ask her. ‘How would I know what part of me was like her?’ I didn’t know her. She focuses on her dinner when her eyes meet mine.
Ella clears her throat and I’m aware of the change in the atmosphere around the table.
“We took a stroll in the maze.” Her voice is trailing off and it’s like she regrets adding that part.
“Oh, I’ve never actually gone into the maze. It has caught my attention, but I would no doubt end up lost. My co-ordination isn’t the best.” Aine giggles as she sips from her glass of wine. She looks like she was sipping from it all afternoon.
“I prefer the gardens, myself.” Ella drinks from her water and when she looks up at me, I smile at her.
“Yes, the gardens are stunning. It’s actually where Ella and I first met.”
I grip my own glass, but I don’t pick it up. I tell myself flicking it at Alex would cause too much outrage. But what was he doing? I grin at him.
“I remember that day,” I say.
Ella is tense beside me.
“Oh, that's right. You arrived a while later.” Alex fires back and I‘m wondering if he’s that fucking stupid that he thinks he can rile me up and not face the consequences.
Alex looks at Ella. “That day had started so well.”
My stomach tightens when I think of what I had made Ella do that day. He was bringing it back up on purpose.
“Did it not end well?” Aine asks, her eyes dancing with alcohol.
Alex flickers a glance at me and I hope he reads me. I am going to hurt him, if he hurts Ella.
“It did, Alex fell and tore his trousers.” Ella speaks up and I have such a proud moment that she would lie.
Alex doesn’t look happy.
“It was one of your favorite suits too.” Ella adds, but I can hear the quiver in her voice.
“My favorite suit was the one I wore to the ball,” Alex says back and he smiles fondly at Ella. My stomach twists.
I wasn’t the only one noticing Alex fawning over Ella.
“It looks like you might have some competition,” Aine says with a giggle.
“I think you had enough wine,” I speak clearly and her smile slips.
“Lucas.” My mother’s words come out with a whoosh. Like she can’t believe I just said that. She had no right to play mother now. I don’t waste my breath on her.
“I think dessert would be nice.” Sean speaks up and it cracks the awkwardness.
“Excuse me.” I stand after excusing myself from the table. I feel ready to explode and I can’t in front of Ella. I don’t look at her as I leave the table and make my way outside.
The snow has finally stopped falling. I move to the side of the house, not wanting anyone to see me from the window. I wanted to kill Alex. He was pushing me too far. The back door opens and I’m shaking my head. I didn’t need anyone else having a go. I would snap.
“Lucas.” Asher’s voice has me remaining silent. No doubt he would banish me from his home. I could see him rooting for Alex and Ella. I sneer, over my dead body.
“Lucas.” He steps around the side of the house and faces me. When his eyes clash with mine he pauses and pushes his hands into his pockets.
“Aine’s scoffed two bottles of my finest wine,” he says, like I give a shit.
“I’m sure she can afford to replace them,” I say, kicking snow, just wanting him to say what he needs to say and then leave.
“I’ll have a word with Alex.”
I glance at him. What was he playing at?
“About what?”
Asher takes a step closer to me, but I can see his caution. “About Ella. He’s fond of her and he knows she’s with you, but him jabbing at you isn’t wise. I’ll have a word.”
I smirk. “Ah, you don’t want me to have a word.” I see he was protecting his son, but doing it in a roundabout way.
“We got off to a bad start, and I see you will be a great leader,” his words are said to the side of the house. “Don’t let your temper be your downfall. I will get the same results as you, but let me talk to him.”
Now Asher looks at me.
“Okay.”
His smile is quick from relief. He nods while moving to the side of the house, he opens a small door and takes out two bottles of wine. “The best type of cooler.”
He holds them up with a nod. “See you inside.” He leaves with his stupid notion that Alex is safe.
Not a hope.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ELLA
Since Lucas arrived back, he hasn’t paid me any attention. He's watching Alex like a hawk. I want Alex to stick with the crowd, because once he leaves I can see Lucas pouncing.
I announce I’m going to bed and Lucas kisses me good night and tells me he will be in later. This has all my alarm bells ringing. I wanted to ask him to leave Alex alone, but his attention was off me, and I would use it.
