Ultimate MC (Romance Collection), page 196
I fell silent again. Finally, I worked up the courage to ask. “Where did you serve time?”
“Arbor Hills, same as you,” he said bluntly. That was it. I knew this was a person who truly got what I had been through. There was nothing good about that prison system. They didn’t care about the inmates. They viewed us as simply criminals. People who were no longer people because of what we’d done.
There wasn’t much to speak of as far as humane treatment went, and I was sure there wasn’t such a thing as human rights. They did what they wanted to us, when they wanted, how they wanted. The few guards who did do things the right way were outnumbered by those who didn’t, and while I wondered why they chose to keep working in such a place, I was glad they did.
Roscoe was the only one who had managed to get me through there alive. I didn’t know what I’d do if he hadn’t been there. I likely would have hurt myself in ways that prevented me from ever coming back to the real world. But, that was all behind me, and I could forget.
Well, I could try to forget.
As this man, Spencer, could testify, there was no forgetting the evils that took place behind those walls.
I cleared my throat. “It all started when I was a kid. It was me and three older brothers, and our mom. We kids never knew where our dad was. Well, I didn’t, anyway. One of my brothers might. It didn’t matter.”
I paused. After taking a deep breath, I continued. “My mom was sick for most of our childhood, and though she did her best to keep food on the table, we barely made ends meet at the times that we could at all. Most of the time, we were taking handouts from neighbors and charities. We lived in shelters and halfway houses, and my brothers were gone more often than not.”
Spencer listened. He knew better than to stare at me while I spoke, but he was giving me the time to get the story out. I took another deep breath. It was hard for me to relate any of the story without breaking down in tears. I was frustrated.
I was pissed off over what had happened in my past, and I was ashamed of what I’d done. I hated the fact that my mother was gone and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I hated that she had died when I was in prison. But, I had to move on.
“My mother took a turn for the worst eventually, and I was doing anything and everything to get money to help her. We never had health insurance, so when I was finally old enough to know what I was doing, I started stealing. I’d steal jewelry and sell it again later. You know, anything to make a buck,” I said.
“I’ve been there,” Spencer chimed in. “It becomes addicting in and of itself.”
“I never like doing it,” I replied. “But I would do anything to get her help. Then, when she was told she’d need really expensive surgery and they weren’t even going to do the consultation without money down, I knew I had to do something big. I hit up several huge retailers right after Christmas, trying to get as much money as I could. A robbery went wrong, and, well, I ended up in Arbor Hills.”
“Damn,” he said. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.”
I finished the pie. “It’s done now. Now, it’s time to move on.”
“Where are you going to go?” he asked. “I can give you a ride anywhere.”
I shook my head. “I’m going to look around. I’m sure there’s a shelter that’ll take me in for a while.”
“Fuck that,” Spencer said. I looked at him in surprise.
“You’ve been through enough of that environment in your life. Why don’t you stay with me? You can crash in the spare bedroom while you get your shit back together,” he said. “Trust me, I know how you feel right now, and you don’t want to go back to a place like that.”
I hesitated. He was right. I didn’t want to see another shelter for as long as I lived. I also didn’t want to be anywhere that was remotely like a prison. At the same time, it would be crazy to go with this man. I didn’t know him. Didn’t know a thing about him except for the fact he had also been in prison at one point in his life.
Roscoe knew him and clearly trusted him if he sent me home with him. At the same time, if I were to go, then I’d be going back to a life of charity, and I was sick of that. I didn’t want another single handout from anyone. I just wanted to get back on my feet and live an honest life.
I didn’t want money handed to me, I wanted to earn it. I just wasn’t sure how. Hell, I wasn’t sure where to even begin.
On the other hand, if there was anyone on the planet who would be able to help me right now, it was Spencer Matthews. He knew what I’d been through, and he knew how to get back on his feet. Clearly, he had done it. I wanted to be able to take someone out to dinner and pay for it – telling them to get whatever they wanted.
I wanted to be where he was. But it was going to take time and hard work to get there. He was clearly a kind man – strong, fierce, feral, but kind. There was a goodness in his soul that I found incredibly attractive…never mind that it was coupled with a darkness that turned me on, too.
Don’t let your mind even start going in that direction. You know it’s been a while since you’ve had sex you wanted with anyone, but you can’t let yourself start thinking in that way about this guy. He’s hot, he’s sinfully hot, and you know he wouldn’t turn you down.
Look at the way he’s watching you. He wants you. But, there’s something about him that’s so different than any of the other men you’ve been around lately. He’s different, and you don’t need to entertain thoughts of things like that with him.
It’s hormones, sure, but your hormones have been getting you in trouble since you were old enough to know what they were. Take his offer, get back on your feet, and get the Hell out of Dodge.
It was hard for me to accept his offer, or even know what to say for that matter. I didn’t have another choice, but I didn’t know if going home with him was a good idea, either.
Where was his home? What did it have to offer me? The entire world felt so alien and foreign to me now, I didn’t even know how I was going to break back into society. At least with him, I’d be safe. I’d be able to ease back into the world and break myself back into being the woman I once was.
Only better.
This time, I wasn’t going to fall back into my old ways. I was going to learn how to be part of society in a way that helped the world. Sure, I might end up having a normal job and doing normal things, but I wasn’t going to let myself be stuck. I had to get back on track, and this might just be my ticket to doing that.
He knew my secret. Well, most of them, anyway. I’d left out the fact that I’d shot someone. I didn’t want him to know that. I didn’t want anyone to know that. That was the thing that I’d been serving real time for, and I didn’t want him to find out.
He likely hadn’t ever done anything that bad. A car accident was one thing, but to shoot someone in the back in cold blood? That was another. The exonerating circumstances didn’t matter. What mattered was the fact that I’d done it, and he’d lose all respect for me if he found out.
Could I live with a man keeping that big of a secret from him? He wanted to help me – what if he did and found out later that I’d shot someone? What if he felt used? Would he ever be able to trust me again?
Would he be able to trust me now?
The questions were flying through my mind so fast, it was hard for me to think about any one of them before another was already in my brain. I knew he was waiting for an answer, but it was hard for me to make any real decisions.
For the past year of my life, my only goal had to be to stay alive. The rest of the decisions were made for me. Now, I had to decide where I was going to go, what I was going to eat, what I would do next with my time.
It was such a shock to my system, I felt like I was going to burst into tears. I took a nervous drink of my coffee, buying time. I wanted to go back to my cell and shut out the world, shut out everything.
It was scary out here, scarier than what I was dealing with in there. Okay, no it wasn’t…but in there, I knew the name of the game. Out here, I didn’t. Out here, I was vulnerable, and I didn’t know how I was going to make it even into the next day.
It took all the self control I had in my body not to just get up and run. Run – far way.
And just disappear.
Chapter 5
Spencer
I watched her carefully as she squirmed on the other side of the table. She clearly didn’t know how to respond to my offer, but I once again felt as though I could see into the core of her being. She wanted to accept, but she was scared. Then again, she didn’t have anywhere else to go.
Of course, I was more than right when I pointed out she didn’t want to go back to a shelter. Hell, she’d not want to go within a hundred feet of one ever again, I was sure. I’d felt the same way when I got out.
But, I was a stranger. There had to be a lot of fear on her part, too. She didn’t know anyone out here, and she didn’t have anyone to call. I could do things to her, and she’d just vanish. She had just lived a life fighting for survival, and she was still in that mindset.
So, I decided to lighten the mood. Holding up my hand with my index and middle finger extended, I gave her a flashing grin. “I do solemnly swear that I’ll keep my hands to myself.”
She looked at me, looking over the entirety of me she could see seated apart from her. I had a feeling she would have looked me from head to toe again if she could, but the table was blocking her view. Finally, she laughed, and I relaxed. Hell, there was something about her laugh that made everything about me want to take her in my arms.
It was pure, angelic. She didn’t deserve the hand life had thrown her way, that was for damn sure, and I was going to do everything in my power to make sure she was happy and safe. I felt the arousal in my pants, but I ignored it. I just told her she would be safe with me, and if she knew how much she turned me on, I knew she’d turn me down in a heartbeat.
She didn’t need that in her life right now. She needed to feel safe. And, I was going to be that. Hell, I’d take on the entire world if it meant she was safe. I didn’t know why, but she had that effect on me, and I started to get a glimpse of why the other guys in the MC had gone head over heels for the women they met.
What hadn’t made much sense to me before suddenly came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. No wonder Nathan had moved and Zach had risked losing his place with the rest of the MC. No wonder Adam had taken on a mob member and nearly lost his life and everything in it.
Women – at least, the right woman – had this effect on a man, and I could almost see myself doing something so crazy for this one.
“Did you used to be in the Boy Scouts or something?” she asked.
“I can’t tell you all my secrets,” I said with a smile. “But I can tell you that I’m honorable and I’ll make sure you’re safe and secure under my care.”
Finally, she sighed. She didn’t have another choice. I knew it, and she definitely knew it, but I wasn’t going to point it out to her. She didn’t need me to. She was the one in the tight spot, not me. But, it had to have been a long time since anyone had offered to help her, and she wasn’t sure how to handle it.
“Alright,” she said. “Let’s go.”
I tried not to be too excited as we pulled up in front of my house. It wasn’t much. Right on the outskirts of town with plenty of projects around the property that needed to be tended to. But, I was proud of what I’d done with the place, and I hoped she’d like it.
I felt good paying the tab for our meal and walking her out to my Harley at the diner. I liked being around her. It wasn’t often that women had such an effect on me. I didn’t have the time for them, and not many would give me the time of day.
Hell, why would they? I knew I was an asshole, and I was proud of it. I wasn’t going to change for anyone. That is, I didn’t think I’d want to change for anyone. This woman could be a different story.
We walked up to the porch, and I opened the door for her, letting her go in front of me. There was a tension in my chest. I hoped she likes the place. The thought startled me. So many times I’d have people over and didn’t give a damn what they thought. But Brooke? I really wanted her to like it.
She looked around the room with wide eyes, then she looked back at me. “This is amazing.”
I relaxed. I knew by her tone she meant it, and I suddenly felt embarrassed. It was amazing compared to what she had been living in, but it was nothing compared to what it could be.
“I’ll show you around,” I said. I gave her the tour, showing her the spare bedroom, where my room was, the bathroom, and the kitchen and living room.
“There’s a loft up there, and another deck around the back. It’s nice to sit out there because it’s facing the trees and the woods, so you don’t have to see the highway,” I explained.
“Amazing,” she shook her head again. I laughed. I couldn’t believe there was someone out there who would think this place was that nice. I had done a lot of work, and I was proud of what I’d done, but it was still pretty simple as far as I was concerned. I didn’t think much of it, except for the fact that it was fine for me.
I wasn’t out to impress anyone with my house. At least, before now I hadn’t ever been. Now, I was proud she was impressed. I could almost get a feel for why Zach was so adamant about keeping his place nice and rather showy, despite the fact he only had the same handful of people over.
“Do you want a beer?” I asked.
“I’d kill for one,” she said. She suddenly caught herself and fell silent, but I didn’t pursue it. Maybe she felt weird saying things like that when she was just out of prison. There were some things she was going to have to get used to.
I grabbed two out of the fridge and gave her one, watching with a smile on my face as she took a swig.
“That’s good, isn’t it?” I asked.
“You probably know better than anyone else,” she said with a laugh. “I can’t remember the last time I had a beer.”
“There’s plenty more where that came from,” I said as I pointed to the fridge. “You are welcome to anything and everything in the house. I’ll go to the store and get a few more things so there’s some variety for you.”
“You don’t have to do anything like that on my account,” Brooke said quickly. “I’m going to be as low maintenance as possible.”
“You already are,” I said with a laugh. “I’ve needed to go anyway. Don’t worry, I’m not going to go nuts.”
We sat in the living room and drank the beers, and I put something on TV. It was for background noise, helping to keep the awkwardness from taking over. She seemed nervous, but she was far more relaxed with me now than she had been at the diner.
Maybe it was the beer, or maybe she was finally getting used to the idea I wasn’t going to hurt her.
“So what do you do to afford a nice pad like this?” she asked.
I laughed, but with the look she gave me, I knew she was serious.
“It’s not that nice, but I work as a computer tech of sorts. When I got out, I needed a job, and Roscoe made a few calls. He hooked me up with a company here in Santa Rosa as a janitor. I worked my way up and now fix computers when others won’t, or can’t. I also run a garage over on the west side. But that’s part time,” I said.
She shook her head again. “Wow. It must pay well. If you saw the trailer I grew up in, you’d know.”
“It’s alright, and I think I do. My house wasn’t anything fancy growing up, either,” I said. She smiled. I could tell we were connecting, and it made me feel good. Once again, there was that hint in the back of my mind we were on to something great, and I wanted to see where it went.
Brooke took another swig of her beer before speaking again. “Do you know if they’re still hiring janitors? I’m going to need a job, and I really don’t care what it is. As long as it’s a paycheck, I’m in.”
I laughed. “I’m not sure, but I’ll ask. If they aren’t, I’ll start looking around town for you. Hell, I’ve got connections all over the place – we’ll get you a job faster than you can say ‘hired.’”
She smiled and nodded, though there was blush threatening to creep up her neck and into her cheeks. Then, her eyes started to well up with tears, and she tried to speak, but no words would come out.
She fought to get a drink of her beer, but once again, she struggled. I knew she was overcome with emotion, and I wasn’t sure if it was feeling the kindness of being accepted, or the fact that she was going to have to face real life again, and that was terrifying.
Whatever it was, she set her beer on the coffee table and excused herself quickly, running to the bedroom I’d given her and closed the door. I was left with the sound of the TV quietly filling the corner of the room, and the sobs started seeping through the door.
I turned up the TV, letting her have the moment. Some things were just going to take time, and I was going to give her the privacy and respect to adjust as she needed. There was no forcing or rushing getting back into society, and I didn’t want to make things harder on her by adding pressure.
She would take her time, and she could come back to me when she was ready. I’d check in on her in a few minutes to make sure she was okay, then I’d be out here for the rest of the evening, and if she wanted company, it was there for her. If not, she was free to hang out in her room and work through the emotions that had come crashing down.
Either way, I wasn’t going to bother or push. I knew how this went, and she’d have to come around on her own.
After all, this was her journey. She was the only one who could walk it.
Chapter 6
Brooke
I leaned with my back against the door for a moment, burying my face in my hands and letting the sobs wrack my body. I hated crying in front of anyone, no matter the reason. When I found out my mother had died while I was in prison, I had gone to the bathroom to let out tears when no one else was around.
