Okay, But Try Not To Murder Anyone 7, page 15
“Yeah, you!” Mary giggled and then turned back to Sloan. “He’s too humble, but this is all for him.”
“For the mission,” I corrected her.
“Fine, keep pretending you’re not the Director’s golden boy,” Mary said with an exaggerated eye roll.
“Hey, I’m just trying to do my job,” I said.
Luckily, there was movement inside the jet just then, and people appeared at the top of the staircase. There was a man in a pilot’s uniform and two women dressed in tight, sexy flight attendant uniforms, and they started to descend the stairs to meet us.
“Good evening, all,” the pilot said in a cheerful voice, and he looked between Sammy and me. “Which one of you is Agent Patterson?”
“That would be me,” I said with a nod as we all started to drop our bags by the stairs.
“Pleasure to meet you,” the pilot said, and he grasped my hand for a handshake. His nametag said James, and he had an effeminate air about him. I wouldn’t be super surprised if he wasn’t into the ladies. “I’ve been told to give you anything you need, so please don’t hesitate to ask me or my crew for whatever you have in mind.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw Mary and Sloan exchange a pointed look and stifle their giggles, but I ignored it.
“I appreciate that,” I said as our hands fell to our sides. “And this is my team.”
I did a round of introductions, and the pilot shook hands with everyone, while the flight attendants nodded politely.
“Monica and Jessica here will make sure you’ve got everything you need during the flight,” the pilot said in his high-pitched voice as he gestured to the two women with nametags. Monica was the brunette, Jessica was the blonde. “Now, we’ll let you and your team board while we load up your luggage.”
“We can--” Laura began, but the pilot held up a hand.
“Please, we insist,” the pilot said, and he started to grab some of the bags.
The flight attendants rushed to help him, and I enjoyed the sight of their tight skirts stretching over their asses as they bent down.
“Thank you,” I said, and I started to climb the stairs up to the jumbo aircraft.
The rest of the team followed me up the stairs, and we boarded the jumbo jet for the first time.
“Oh. My. God,” Mary gasped.
“Oh, wow,” Elaine echoed.
“This is…” Sloan began, but then she shook her head in wonder and just gaped at the huge interior of the plane.
“Pretty fucking cool,” I finished for her.
There was a pause as we all took in the luxury aircraft. If I hadn’t just walked up the stairs myself, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between the jet and a luxury penthouse suite in a fancy hotel. The jet was sectioned off into different rooms, and it appeared we’d entered into the business lounge. The seats were made from camel-colored leather, and they were grouped together in sets of four, with a pair of seats facing each other and a table in the middle. There was one of these setups on both sides of the plane, with a spacious aisle in between.
There was a wide arch at the back of the business lounge, so I walked down the aisle to explore the rest of the plane. The arch led into a general lounging area with a long, white leather sofa that was pointed at a large, flat screen television, which was mounted onto the wall. It was decorated like a luxury hotel suite, with matching furniture and art on the wall.
“Ohh, this is fancy,” Mary said, and she bounded over to the couch, plopped down on it, and bounced up and down like she was testing out the cushions.
“It’s super nice,” Elaine agreed as she joined Mary on the couch, and the foreign woman ran her fingertips across the couch. “Real leather, of course.”
“I take it this will be my seat for the flight,” Sammy said as he sat himself down in an individual armchair made from matching white leather. “I’ll leave the couch to the rest of you.”
“Yes, stay in your chair, peasant,” Mary said as she stretched out across the couch.
“Mary, be nice,” Laura scolded, but the blonde agent was grinning, so I knew she was just joining in on the fun.
“Mmm, I’ll think about it,” Mary sighed. Then the curly-haired woman hopped up and spun around the cabin until she spotted a closed door at the back of the plane. She pointed at it and turned to me with raised eyebrows. “What’s in there?”
“The bedroom, maybe?” I suggested before I made my way to the door and pushed it open to reveal a corridor with a short spiral staircase.
“What the fuck? There’s a whole upstairs?” Mary demanded as she peeked around my shoulder.
“Of course there is,” Sloan scoffed.
“And another room back there,” Sammy said as he pointed down the corridor.
The staircase took up the left side of the corridor, and there was a row of seating along the right side of the corridor, and then a closed door at the end of the corridor.
“Hmm, maybe that’s the bedroom,” I said. I made my way to that door and pushed it open, and it opened up into a circular room with a bed in the middle of it. “Yup, bedroom.”
“Oh, neat,” Mary said as she pushed past me and into the bedroom.
The rest of us followed her to take in the luxury suite. There was another television on the wall, opposite the bed, and a set of matching armchairs were placed on the other side of the room. There were two doors against the wall. Elaine opened the first door to reveal a large closet, and Mary took the second door, which led to a surprisingly large bathroom, complete with a walk-in shower.
“I can’t believe all this stuff fits on one jet,” Sloan remarked, and she shook her head as she took in the extravagant display of luxury.
“And just think, we don’t even see the crew’s quarters,” Laura pointed out. “They’ll all have beds and their own bathroom, too.”
“Jeez, I didn’t even think of that,” Mary said as she rejoined us in the bedroom. “How does all this weight stay in the air?”
“Well, the theory of lift--” I began.
“Magic, obviously,” Elaine said with a wave of her hand.
“Yes, magic.” Mary nodded. “Let’s go with that.”
“Okay, magic it is.” I chuckled and then turned to head back out toward the lounge area. “Now, who wants to check out the upstairs?”
“Me!” Mary exclaimed excitedly.
We retreated from the bedroom, and I led the way up the narrow staircase. It opened up into a second living room area, but this one had rows of bookshelves and chessboards inlaid into the tables. There was another television attached to the wall, and a collection of recent magazines were displayed in cases next to the television.
“Good lord, it just keeps going,” Elaine muttered.
“Looks like there’s more,” I said as I gestured to the doorway at the back of the second living room.
“What else could there possibly be?” Sloan asked.
“Let’s find out,” I said, and I led the way through the doorway, which opened up into a dining room with some kitchen facilities along the wall.
“My last apartment didn’t even have a dining room,” Mary said with a bark of laughter.
“But this jet does,” Sammy said in a teasing tone.
“Insanity!” Mary huffed before she pointed to the door at the back. “What else?”
This time, I let Mary lead us through the rest of the jet. There was another bedroom and another smaller lounging area with extra seats. I tried not to let the perks of my new lifestyle get to me too much, but I had to admit this jumbo jet was pretty fucking cool. Even just a few months ago, I never would have dreamed I would be aboard a luxury private jet, hell, I barely even knew they existed. They were reserved for the richest of the rich, like Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos. But here I was, standing on one with a loyal team of agents, which included my super sexy girlfriends and a crew of flight attendants whose only job in the world for the next eight hours was to make me happy.
Life couldn’t get much better.
Well, aside from the fact that we were on our way to meet up with the most dangerous criminal in the world who probably still wanted me dead, at least a little.
Other than that, life couldn’t get much better.
“This is super cool,” Elaine said as she ran her hands along another leather seat. “I mean, all the private jets have been cool, but this one is definitely the best.”
“We need to go on more international missions, for sure,” Mary said, and then she spread her arms wide and spun around the third lounge area on the jet. “There’s so much room for activities!”
“And plenty of time for them, too,” I chuckled and gestured for everyone to follow me. “Come on, let’s go see how long we have until wheels up.”
As the team was making their way back down to the front of the jet, there was a ding, followed by a crackling sound, and then the pilot’s high-pitched voice came over the speaker.
“Evening folks, if I could kindly ask you to make your way to the business lounge so we can prepare for take-off,” the pilot said. “Monica and Jessica will guide you through the process.”
“Good timing, Jonah,” Elaine said, and she shot me a wink.
When we made it back to the business lounge, Monica and Jessica were waiting for us with wide, bright smiles on their faces.
“Welcome, please take a seat,” Monica said as she gestured to the leather chairs. “Any seat you’d like.”
Since there were six of us, we had to split up. Laura and Sammy took the table on the left hand side, while Elaine, Mary, Sloan, and I filled the seats on the other side of the aisle.
“Your luggage is stored in the compartments right here,” Jessica said, and the blonde flight attendant leaned against a doorway at the front of the lounge. “Feel free to pull out anything you need once we’re in the air.”
“Now, we do apologize for this, but legally, we must run through a quick safety demonstration,” Monica said with an apologetic wince.
“That’s alright, we know the drill,” I said, and I gestured for them to continue as I buckled my seat belt, which I’d only wear for the takeoff and landing.
The two flight attendants began their usual spiel, and I could tell they worked together often. The women’s movements were in sync with each other, and even their buns were tied up identically. They kept their demo short, and then they headed to their own pull-down seats at the front of the business lounge. Jessica pressed a button, and a second later, the pilot came over the speaker again.
“Alright, that’s us, folks,” the pilot said. “The flight will take about seven hours and fifty minutes, which puts us into Paris at about ten PM, local time. Prepare for take-off.”
The speaker crackled as he disconnected it, and almost immediately, the plane started to slowly roll forward out of the hangar.
“Oh, my god, we’re moving!” Mary gasped, and she clapped her hands excitedly as the pilot directed the jumbo jet onto the runway. “This is going to be so great.”
“An eight-hour flight, yay,” Sloan said flatly as she glanced out the window.
“An eight-hour flight in a luxury private jet,” I pointed out. “A bit different than flying commercial. Or with your wings.”
“Good point,” Sloan said with a faint smirk.
“Yeah, we’ll make it fun, don’t you worry,” Mary said, and she bounced on her seat like a kid hopped up on sugar.
“What is the plan, anyway?” Elaine asked, but the engines started to roar in preparation for take-off, so she raised her voice over the sound. “Are we going to try to stay awake for the flight? Since we arrive in Paris so late, we can just go to bed when we get there, then wake up in the morning.”
“That sounds like a good plan,” I said, and I glanced across the aisle at Laura. “What do you think?”
“If we can stay awake,” Laura said before she let out an involuntary yawn and slapped her hand across her mouth. “Excuse me.”
“That’s not promising,” I teased.
“I just need some coffee, I’ll be fine,” Laura said with a wave of her hand.
The jet rocked back for a second, and then it lunged forward, and Mary squealed with excitement.
“Are you going to be like this the whole time?” Sammy asked from across the aisle.
“Yep, deal with it,” Mary said, and then she pressed her face against the window to watch as we took off.
The sound was deafening, and my ears popped at least twice, but a few minutes later, we were high in the air and on the way to Paris. The pilot announced we were safe to unbuckle a couple minutes later, and Jessica and Monica immediately came to take our drink orders.
“No alcohol,” Laura said firmly.
“A little alcohol,” Mary countered.
Laura opened her mouth to protest, but I cut in gently.
“I think we can afford one each,” I said. “We’ve got a long flight ahead of us, and we’re going straight to bed so we can acclimate to the time change. One drink won’t hurt us.”
“Fine, one,” Laura agreed after a moment of pondering.
“I’ll take one bottle of Jack,” Mary said to Jessica.
“Mary!” Laura narrowed her blue eyes.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Mary said, and then she drummed her fingers on the table. “Umm, how about an Irish coffee?”
“Excellent choice,” Jessica said.
“That sounds good, I’ll have one, too,” I said.
If we had to stay awake for the next nine or so hours, I needed a coffee, especially after the day I had.
“Same,” Elaine said.
“Might as well.” Sloan shrugged.
“One for me, too,” Laura sighed.
“And me, but make it American,” Sammy said, but Jessica gave him a puzzled look. “No booze, I don’t drink.”
“Ah, got it,” Jessica said, and then the two flight attendants disappeared down the hallway to make our drinks.
“Where will we stay when we land in Paris?” Sloan asked.
“Oh, sorry,” I said. “This is your first mission with us, I should have explained more. We’ve got a couple hotel rooms waiting for us already, I believe.”
I glanced over at Sammy, who nodded in confirmation.
“And from there, we’ll set up a base,” Laura continued.
“But we don’t have much time in between landing and meeting Bannister,” I pointed out. “So, we’re going to get a quick sleep in when we land, then get up early to start scouting the area and his Paris residence.”
“Sounds good,” Sloan said with a nod.
Jessica and Monica returned with trays of Irish coffees, and one American, and they handed them out cheerfully.
“Would you like to see the menu?” Monica asked as she held out paper menus. “The chef is prepared to make anything you’d like.”
“We’ll have a look, thanks.” I took the menus, and the flight attendants returned to their nook at the front of the jet, ready to be summoned at a moment’s notice.
“We should start planning out tomorrow now,” Laura said as she stood and made her way to the luggage compartment.
“Leave it to Laura to want to work when we have a whole private jet to play with,” Mary sighed dramatically.
“We have the whole flight,” Laura countered as she pulled out her laptop bag and then Sammy’s. “Tell you what, how about we work half the time and play the other half? First half planning, second half me kicking everyone’s ass at chess.”
“Deal!” Mary agreed with a happy smile.
So, that’s what we did. Jessica and Monica made themselves scarce while our team went over our plan for Paris. Sammy had already been in touch with a local legal attaché from the Bureau in Paris, so we had a liaison there if we needed it. We’d be supplied a van at the private airport, and there were three rooms booked for us at The Ritz Paris.
“Big thanks to Sammy, our designated travel agent,” Laura teased lightly.
“I don’t mind, I gotta make sure I find a bed big enough for me,” Sammy said as he flexed his wide frame. “As long as I’ve got that and a decent Wi-Fi connection, I’m happy.”
“And the only place that had both was The Ritz?” Sloan asked with a raised eyebrow.
“When I’m not the one paying for it, it is,” Sammy replied with a grin.
“Fair.” Sloan nodded.
I could tell she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the display of luxury in front of her. She was from the boondocks in Canada, after all. Indoor plumbing was a luxury for some people there. I recalled the dank outhouse at the back of the cabin we stayed in for our mission there, and I had a whole new appreciation for the private jet we were on.
We spent the next three hours or so going over our plan for Paris. We designated equipment for everyone to be in charge of, and we mapped out the locations as best we could without seeing them for ourselves. Once Laura was satisfied the day would run smoothly, she released us from the work portion of the trip.
“Now it’s time to play,” Mary said, and she cracked her knuckles as a devilish smile crept across her face. “What was that earlier about chess?”
“You up for it?” Laura asked with a smile of her own.
“Duh,” Mary said, and she shot to her feet.
“I’ll play the winner,” Elaine said.
“It’s on,” Laura said as she stood and made her way to the back of the lounge. “Jonah, are you joining us?”
“I’ll be up later,” I said as I held up my empty mug. “Might get another coffee.”
“Me, too,” Sloan said.
“I’m off for a nap,” Sammy interjected as he stretched his arms wide above his head.
“But--” Laura began.
“Oh, he’ll be fine,” Mary said with an impatient wave of her hand. “He’s a Pisces, he can sleep all the time.”
“That is true, I have seen him sleep in impossible situations,” Laura mused before she narrowed her eyes and pointed at the tech agent. “But if you’re exhausted tomorrow, it’s your own fault.”
“Noted,” Sammy said with a wave, and then he headed to the living room area on the downstairs level while the other three women headed for the staircase.
