Genesis Lost - Books 1 - 6, page 16
Again; no response. I reached out my hand and caressed her cheeks, covered in fine red veins which had popped all over. “I love you, Kenya. And I want you to be the wife of the future chieftain and the mother of my children.”
“And run off with you to the Clan?” Her eyes locked with mine. Dark eyes. Furious eyes. Not even her cold voice matched that stare she gave me, making a chill penetrate along my spine. “You’re asking me to betray my father’s sacrifice, Nix. Do you get that? If I go back, then what the hell did my dad die for?”
“He died to protect his family. Just like I would die to protect you and our child.” Anger made me push up and step away, her rejection burning me up from the inside. “You said you love me.”
She kicked the blanket off and struggled it to the ground, standing up quicker than I turned to watch how she built herself up. How pure rage straightened her posture. “And loving you means I have to stop loving myself? Loving to be alive? To be safe? To be home here in the Districts, where I belong?”
Two steps and I was by her side. My lips so clenched together they ached. My breath so hot it seared my nostrils. “You and I belong together, Kenya.” I took her into my arms, kissing those raw cheeks which had seen too many tissues all night. “We’re connected.”
Her body writhed underneath me, struggled against my arms without a chance of winning. “Connected? What are you talking about?”
“It’s complicated,” I said.
“Let me go, Nix.”
“You don’t get it, do you? I won’t let you go because I love you too damn much to live without you.” I let my hand wander between her legs, stroking her hot flesh I knew waited wet behind all that fabric. “All my life, I thought I am doomed to be bad. And maybe I am bad, but you bring out the best in me.”
“Please…” she said, but not without finishing her plea off with a moan.
“Marry me. Come with me. Let me put my child inside you,” I whispered against her ear. “Not necessarily in that order but I’ll die if you won’t come with me.”
“And I might die if I do.” She cupped my face between her hands, her eyes locking with mine. “Don’t leave me. Stay with me, Nix. Here. In the Districts.”
“I’ll be a chieftain soon. My people are my responsibility, and you know that. They need me.”
“And I need you!” Her soft lips placed a hungry kiss onto my mouth, breathing hard and moaning, while my legs grew weak and my cock hard. Ready to put that child inside her if I haven’t done so already. “I don’t know what you did to me, but I need you. I need your body. You have to merge, Nix, or there’s no way we can be together.”
The room spun like a merry-go-round, the way she repeated that word adding a spin each time it left her lips. “Merge. The council will never agree to merge without the water. But I need you to merge anyway. For me. For us.”
I stumbled back.
Away from her heat.
My throat narrowed; a fist of shock stuck somewhere between my uvula and esophagus.
Merge. The word coated my tongue with bitterness.
“Listen to me.” I placed my hands onto her shoulders and lowered myself down, staring straight at those beautiful eyes of hers. So brown and ordinary, yet so filled with strength and fear and hope. “If we merge like that, I won’t ever touch your body again the way I did. You won’t ever feel me inside you again or come apart against my tongue, or finger or any part of my body. If there is no child now, there likely won’t ever be one. At least not one made from our love.”
Those ordinary eyes now blinked rapidly, struggling back those tears I knew waited behind gates of hope, making me think of the extraordinary.
Such a merge meant giving up her body to keep whatever remained of her. Which was plenty. It’s not like I wanted her for the fuck. No. I wanted her for her why’s, her fire, and the way she embraced that darkness inside me and kissed it away.
But should my own happiness come at the cost of my Clan’s freedom? I pulled her deep into my chest, protecting her with every fiber of my body as if this moment alone threatened to tear us apart. “If I decide to merge, will you marry me?”
“We can be together without —”
“If I can’t claim your body, I at least want you to be my wife before the council gets rid of that, too.”
She stroked her hands through my beard, her body warm and willing against mine. “You’ll have a seat on the council, Nix, along with other clansmen. But yes, I will marry you. If you merge.”
The familiar weight of resistance pulled my shoulders into a slouch. “But there won’t be a child.”
She pushed herself onto her toes and still only managed a kiss against my chin, whispering, “Give it to me now.”
“What?”
“A child.” She took my hand and placed my palm below her navel. “Give me your child while you still can.”
“Don’t fucking do this to me, Kenya,” I groaned, collapsing against her but still managing to pick her up and sling her legs around my waist. “You can’t say that if you don’t fucking mean it. Tell me you mean it.”
Kenya
I stretched my toes some more, inching my way toward Nix’s lips. That throbbing between my thighs made my entrance go from slick to wet with all this talk about something I shouldn’t have wanted. Shouldn’t even have considered.
But my skin tingled against his touch, sending waves of heat through my body. Like a primal lust I couldn’t control — not that I wanted to. All I wanted was to give in to it and enjoy it while it lasted, and I embraced the potential consequences.
“Don’t fucking do this to me, Kenya,” Nix groaned, his body suddenly going weak against mine. But his stance was strong when he picked me up and wrapped me around him, my head once more nestled against his hard chest. “You can’t say that if you don’t fucking mean it. Tell me you mean it.”
The words had rumbled through his chest, pebbling my skin, and making me arch my back. Did I really want to give up on this? That insatiable desire and the taste of our lovemaking? No.
But if I had to decide between giving up on his body and giving up the man, I chose in favor of the man.
“I mean it,” I whispered, tasting his lips. Licking them. Nibbling and letting my tongue thrust in search of his.
He carried me over to the couch, losing his pants, briefs, and shoes on the way. By the time I slipped down, his aroused penis cocked against my folds for a fraction of a second, only to spring against his stomach after he had released me.
His shirt went next, making him stand naked in front of me in all his glory. He was warm and hard and strong, his eyes caressing my body with a desperate urge waiting behind them.
The moment my back bunched up against the seat cushion, he was over me. His lips started somewhere close to my navel, shoving the fabric of my shirt higher with his nose as his kisses pebbled my skin.
“Lift your hips for me,” he demanded but gave a desperate tug on my pants before I could react. He didn’t bother with the button. Neither with the zipper. Instead, he worked my legs out of it, prying his head between my thighs and forcing them apart. Open. Exposed and vulnerable.
His tongue circled my clit first, mating eagerly with it and preparing my body for what was to come. Each time the tip flicked against it, my hips bucked and writhed entirely out of my control.
All the while, he dug his fingers into my thighs, as if he wanted to make sure I wouldn’t get away from him.
“Mmh,” he moaned and let his lips take another sampling of how much my body wanted him. How much every last inch of control had long abandoned me; if I ever had it. “You like that?”
“Ah, yes,” I said and arched my back, sending my folds to chase his tongue. “Go deeper.”
Shame swept over me at my own words. Could I ever go back to controlling my body if I couldn’t even control my own mouth?
“Deeper, huh?” He placed a final kiss onto my clit, which must have been nothing but a hard, hot nub now, straining toward that release only Nix had for me. “How about this instead?”
He dug his head out from between my legs and scooted up, locking his eyes with mine and not letting go of them, while he sent two fingers inside of me. They plunged in and out, quickly and demanding, the smacking sounds, leaving no doubt I wanted him.
“Check this out,” he said and pulled them out, holding those two fingers inches away from my face. They glistened, slathered heavy in my cream. “Look how wet you are for me. And you really want to give up on this?”
“No,” I moaned, his fingers diving back inside me. “But I don’t want to give up on you either.”
“Grab me,” he said and moved himself a bit higher. “Hold my cock the way I showed you.”
A glance down revealed his penis pressing against my thigh, throbbing and with a drop of white fluid coming from the hole. I wrapped my fingers around him but didn’t manage to close them.
“Mmh,” he moaned, his eyes clenched and a ruthless snarl sitting on his upper lip. “Now rub up and down. Stroke my cock like you saw me doing it. Oh, fuck. Yeah, that’s it. Keep going.”
I stroked his hard flesh, his hips giving little thrusts inside my fist. All the while, he continued to dive his fingers deeper inside of me, drumming his thumb against my clit and rubbing across my pubic bone.
“Do you feel how hard I am for you?”
“Uh-huh.”
He pushed up my shirt and suckled my breasts. Teased my nipples with his teeth. Pulled them long and hard only to circle them with his tongue a second later. “I swear nothing and nobody makes me hard the way I’m hard for you. I’m all yours, and I want you to know that when I put my child inside you.”
A child. Oh, the thought should have scared me, but it made pleasure rip through my body instead.
“Do it,” I said, my voice so desperate and demanding it sounded nothing like me. “Give me your child.”
“Yeah?” he asked, pulling his fingers from me and humping my hand harder instead. “You’re ready?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
“Nix, please…”
“Damn, I could come right here, right now.” He pulled his erection from my clasp and grabbed himself, wetting his head on my folds and quickly stabbing inside. “How can I say no when you beg me like that, huh?”
Each of his thrusts shook my body. But not for long. He gave a couple of pumps. Five perhaps. Then he pulled out as quickly as he had pushed in and worked his hands underneath me. And just like that, without much of an effort, his hands had flung me around and onto my stomach. “Get up on your knees, I wanna fuck you from behind.”
“What?”
He didn’t wait. Nor explain. Just pulled me up by my hips and inched inside me once more. “Oh shit, this is so beautiful. Arch your back for me. I promise I’ll go slow.”
And he did.
He went slow and bit by bit, filling me more than he had ever filled me before. Touching me deeper than he had ever done before.
I moaned. Or groaned. Might even have screamed a little, a sensation building up inside me like none before. He thrust and stretched and molded me, making me fit just right for his body and his only.
“I’ll go faster, okay?” he asked, his fingers digging into my hips and pulling me back against him. “Oh, fuck. I swear I’m gonna come so hard.”
His testicles bounced against my buttocks, sending the echoes of smacks into my bedroom. “Mmh, Nix….”
“That’s right.” He drove faster. Harder. Deeper. Making me gasp for breath and drive back against him. My heart had to push beyond my ribcage at any moment now, the beat barely able to keep up with how I panted. “Let me know once you’re coming, and I’ll catch up. Okay?”
When I didn’t answer, too mindless and dizzy to string sounds into a word, he gave a hard thrust. “Okay?”
“Yes,” I screamed, circling my hips and taking in the sensation of his penis throbbing against my sensitive walls.
One hand grabbed around and cupped my breast, squeezing hard and clasping a nipple between two fingers. A scream formed at the back of my throat. I whimpered a “now.”
One, deep, hard thrust later, a pulsing ripped through my legs and spasmed along my pelvis. It shivered my skin and cramped my feet, torturing me with a never-ending release.
Nix buried his thick, hard penis inside me and stayed there, a guttural scream ripping through my daze. His torso collapsed against my back as he kissed me, involuntary jerks trembling his body.
My body still quivered when he flung himself onto the couch, pulling me against his body and wrapping me inside his arms.
His breath slowed with each stroke he gave through my hair, twisting and twirling my short strands. “Tomorrow morning,” he breathed. “Tomorrow morning I’ll tell the council that I’ll agree to merge.”
Chapter 21
Kenya
We had spent the entire night making love with each other, but no orgasm brought the same satisfaction as waking up in Nix’s arms the next morning.
I stroked his beard and tickled his lips with the tip of my finger, receiving his kisses underneath the thin cotton blanket. The bright sun touched him at just the right angle, making his eyes appear that light blue again I loved so much.
None of this would have made sense a few weeks ago. Hell, it didn’t even make sense now. But being with Nix settled me in a deep aura of calm, letting me forget that hate I had harbored for so long.
And I liked to think that I helped him, too. Driving out that darkness he thought he had— whatever it was.
Nix had agreed to the merge, giving us the chance to be together, away from the dangers which lurked beyond the Districts.
“Eggs?” he asked and wiggled his brows, giving his arms a good stretch.
I got up and pulled a fresh change of clothes from my closet. “There’s a cute bistro right around the corner of Oliver’s office. How about we stop there and grab something?”
“Fine with me.” The moment he got up, he walked over to me and hugged me from behind, his body warm and his kisses against my back demanding. “What do you think the council will say if you carry my child?”
I shrugged. “By then we’ll have merged. There will be a lot they can say but not anything they can do. And with both of us sitting on the council, their hands will be somewhat bound.”
“They wouldn’t want anybody to know.”
“Nobody needs to know.” I turned around in his arms and cupped his cheek, his beard in disarray from how he had pressed his face against me all night. “We can tell people we chose a donor to impregnate me.”
“I don’t like that,” he snarled.
I freed myself from his body and got dressed. “It’s not about what you like. We don’t even know if I’m pregnant yet. But if I am, you need to understand this child will be special.”
“Every child is special,” he said and gathered his clothes from around the room.
“I didn’t mean it that way. Our child will be something a lot of people would reject, Nix. A child many people would say shouldn’t have happened.”
He sighed but said nothing else, disappearing into the bathroom to brush his teeth.
With my toothbrush.
“Are you going to shower?” I asked.
“Uh-uh,” came back, then he stretched his neck through the gap. “I like to have your smell on my body while I still can.”
Panic crawled up my spine. No idea how I could give up this intimacy with him, but it was the only way, right? We would still love each other — just not with our bodies.
Fifteen minutes later, we were out the door, taking the tram and walking that final block to the bistro close to councilman Oliver’s office. Among those sitting on the council, he had been there the longest, holding the majority of the votes.
Today, Nix would write history among the chieftains of the Clans, bringing about a merge I knew he didn’t want. At least not this way.
“It will be good for your people, too,” I told him while waiting in line for a mug of coffee and a croissant, the strain in my voice making me wonder if I tried to convince him or myself. “They’ll have access to medication, new technologies, healthier children.”
He said nothing and grabbed the tray from me. “Let me take this.”
We settled on a chair in front of the bistro, the sun warming our faces as it rose over the building across.
“Did your mom contact you?” he asked after a while, letting the tip of his croissant disappear inside the mug.
“She did.” I struggled a smile onto my face. “And let’s just say I learned all those curse words she wouldn’t let me hear when I was a kid. In terms of my vocabulary, I’d say I’m well prepared to communicate with clansmen now.”
He grinned. A dense, lopsided grin which carried just as much tension as it did concern. “Is she going to blow our cover?”
“She’d never do that. I told her about the merge, and assured her we would make it happen before anybody might find out about us.” I checked the street for curious looks. When I saw none, I placed my hand onto his. “Nix, I want you to know that I appreciate you doing this for me. For us.”
He squeezed my hand and shook his head. “I just don’t get how you could want to stay here, knowing the truth about that friend of yours.”
A familiar heaviness settled inside my chest, slowly slipping into my stomach and giving that croissant I just ate a whirl.
I ignored it.
“I’m sure she’s fine,” I said, that strain once more coating my vocal cords. Yeah, she’s fine. “I’m sure the council provided them with housing and food and all that good stuff. The council cares about our people.”
“There are just things that don’t sit well with me. Like that Newgenics program, the talk about banning marriages —”
“But you’ll be able to vote and have an influence over things. How many clansmen did they say they’ll allow on the council?”
