Sonata for Springtime, page 7
“I assure you, Giselle has never been late for anything in her entire life.” She giggled, but the sound dissipated into the next gust of wind whipping by. “Ugh! I hate this weather.” Grimacing, she tucked the ends of her scarf back into her coat.
“I’m not a fan, either.” I shoved my hands deep into my pockets. “Maybe the faster we go, the warmer we’ll get?”
Her smile reappeared. “I like the way you think.”
I took a moment to appreciate how she’d worn flat shoes this time, complete with cute little bows on the top, as we raced toward the building at the end of the walkway. When I opened the door for us, a blast of heat hit me in the face. At least she won’t be too cold, I thought as I stood back and guided her inside.
A pair of ushers, likely undergrad students, stood at a second set of doors, each holding an armful of programs. “Did we make it?” Natalie whispered to them as we approached.
They nodded. I collected the little booklet one handed to me and followed her inside. The doors we passed through were in the rear of the hall, and she chose some empty seats in a row toward the back. Despite our efforts to enter quietly, her arrival drew attention from some of the other people in attendance. As we shrugged off our outerwear, a wide grin spread across her face, and she returned the enthusiastic waves from her friends.
“We’ll catch up with them later. I’m sure the recital is about to start any minute now.” She folded her coat on the back of her seat then opened her program atop her lap. “Let’s see what she’s playing today.”
I did the same, even though there was only about a five percent chance any of the titles would have any meaning for me, if that.
“No Beethoven listed,” she confirmed. “Ah well. It’s a good selection, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy the pieces just as much.”
The next words slipped out before I could stop them. “Even if you’re not the one playing them.”
Spots of pink appeared on her cheeks. “Oh, stop,” she said, elbowing my arm. “If you think I’m good, then you’re really in for a treat.” She scanned the program, tapping the page with one finger. “You’ll probably recognize this Chopin nocturne. It’s one of those pieces which always makes people say ‘oh, I know this,’ and for good reason, because it’s gorgeous.”
“You might be giving me too much credit.”
Before she could argue, the lights dimmed, and the murmurs of conversation around us ceased. A moment or two elapsed, and then a woman in a long black gown strode onto the stage. We applauded as she approached the grand piano in the center, her light-brown hair glinting under the spotlights. “I love her dress!” Natalie whispered to me.
Silence descended upon the hall once more. Giselle adjusted herself on the piano bench and raised her hands to the keyboard. The first strains of music resonated throughout the room, and I settled back in my seat to listen.
Some of the melodies did, in fact, sound familiar to my ears, and Giselle showed off her immense talent with every passage. Every so often, I snuck a peek at Natalie to see her reactions to the performance. I couldn’t quite interpret the expression on her face, and snippets of our earlier conversations drifted back to me. Was she imagining herself up on the stage? Or was she simply pleased to see her friend’s success?
The last piece started, the one by Chopin Natalie had mentioned, and it was as beautiful as she’d claimed. Maybe there is a whole world outside Beethoven. This time when I glanced over at her, her eyes were closed, her head tilted back. A melancholy smile played upon her lips, serenity washing over her as her enjoyment of the music was bared to anybody who may have been watching her.
My heart threatened to burst out of my chest as this picture of her burned itself into my memory, set against the background of the complex notes ringing from the piano. Though similar to how I sometimes felt when listening to her play, almost as if I were intruding on something private, this was different. This was something we were experiencing together, appreciating a work of art we were lucky enough to hear. I was suddenly aware of how close we sat, her body mere inches from mine, and I would have loved more than anything to reach out and touch her somehow, truly share the moment with her…but I couldn’t.
She opened her eyes, catching me staring. A wave of heat flooded my cheeks, yet I didn’t turn away, frozen in place. She looked down, her lashes fluttering, and gave my arm a little squeeze before returning her attention to the stage.
Giselle played the last few chords with the same technical proficiency and expression she had demonstrated for the entire recital. At their conclusion, the audience broke into a round of applause, this one more unrestrained than for the previous pieces. Several people, I assumed her friends, whistled and cheered, and she laughed as she acknowledged the crowd with a formal bow. Natalie tucked her program under her arm and stood, clapping with increased enthusiasm, and I did the same.
The overhead lights came back on once Giselle made her exit. Natalie had previously mentioned there would be a reception following the recital, so I followed her as she wove her way through the rows of seats to the doors we had entered through. As soon as we left the concert hall, a series of high-pitched shrieks and excited greetings bombarded us, a stark contrast to the elegant music we’d heard for the past hour and a half.
Natalie returned the warm welcome with equal delight. “Hi!” she squealed to a group of women around our age. “It’s so good to see you!”
“How are you?”
“It’s really been too long, hasn’t it?”
“This is so much fun, everyone getting back together again!”
“Wasn’t Giselle amazing?”
One of them looked around, her brow furrowed. “Where’s Chris?”
Rolling her eyes, Natalie shrugged. “There’s always something going on with the band these days. I didn’t think I’d be able to get him to give up part of a weekend.” She shook her head, tossing her hair back, and then gestured toward me. “But this is my friend Jonathan,” she said. “He lives across the street from us, and I somehow convinced him to give me a ride down here.”
“I thought it sounded like a nice way to spend an afternoon.” I offered her friends an awkward wave. “Hi. It’s nice to meet all of you.”
“Jonathan’s a lawyer, but he’s been taking piano lessons from me.” She tugged at the strap of her purse. “And encouraging me to play more often, which I can do now that we have the piano at our place.”
I waited for some suspicious glances, or even outright disdain, but none came. The congenial chatter resumed, continuing as we made our way to the area where the reception would take place. An array of food was set out on folding tables, ranging from elegant charcuterie platters to a stack of pizza boxes at one end. More people milled about here, and I maintained a pleasant smile while Natalie repeated her introduction to former professors, Giselle’s family, and anyone else who happened to pass by.
When Giselle herself made her first appearance, the room erupted into another round of applause. She laughed, her demeanor much more relaxed than when she’d been on stage, and accepted the large bouquet of flowers thrust into her arms. “Thanks for coming, everyone!” She pointed toward the tables with the colorful blooms. “Make sure you get something to eat!”
Natalie’s other friends headed for the food, and we followed suit. After preparing plates for ourselves, we waited in line to greet the star performer, munching on cheese and crackers as we inched toward the front of the room. The reaction when the two women saw each other was similarly loud and exuberant to Natalie’s first reunion with her friends, and I took her plate from her as they embraced.
“Congratulations!” Natalie grinned from ear to ear. “You were incredible!”
“Thank you! I’m so glad you were able to make it!” Giselle mirrored her expression. “I couldn’t have done it without you pushing me back in the early days of undergrad.”
“Oh, stop.” She made a dismissive gesture with one hand. “It was ages ago, and look how far you’ve come since then! Do we get to call you ‘Doctor’ now?”
It was Giselle’s turn to roll her eyes. “I mean it. There were plenty of times when I missed having a study buddy like you.”
“Well, you’re certainly managing fine without me!”
She tilted her head to the side. “Are you still playing at least? You were always so talented.”
Natalie scrunched up her nose. “A little here and there. Every now and then, I toy with the idea of going back to school to focus on performance, but…” The corner of her mouth twitched. “Now’s just not the right time.”
“You should! I know you’d be great.” Smirking, Giselle nodded toward the arrangements of food. “If nothing else, you can also live out our dream of eating cold pizza while wearing a ball gown. Believe me, I’ve been waiting for that part.”
Her smile reappeared and she chuckled. “You may have a point. The glamorous recital dresses might be enough to lure me back in.”
She changed the subject by introducing me to Giselle, and I offered my sincere congratulations and compliments before we moved out of the way for the next people in line. After refilling our plates, we reconvened with the rest of the group of friends. I hung back, both due to not wanting to interfere with Natalie’s time with people she hadn’t seen in a while and to see a new side of her. Much like the first time I heard her play the piano, I caught a glimpse of what she’d been like before steady jobs and engagements and suburban life. There was a certain spark inside her that only came out on rare occasions, yet I loved being around her when it revealed itself.
Outside the windows, the sky grew dark, and the number of guests at the reception dwindled. Natalie led me through the room to say a final round of farewells, complete with promises to get together sometime in the near future, and then we left in a futile attempt to avoid traffic heading out of the city. An icy gust of wind greeted us when we exited the building, and I flinched.
Natalie scowled as well. “Have I mentioned yet how much I hate the cold?” she said, tugging her scarf up over her chin.
I glanced down at her bare legs. “Do you want to wait inside and I can get the car and pick you up?”
“Oh, no! You don’t have to!” She swept the hair away from her eyes. “I’ll be fine, I promise.”
The drive home was slow yet uneventful. Though I focused on coasting along with the sea of cars surrounding us, I smiled as I listened to more stories about the people I’d met. “I was so focused on making sure I’d get into law school,” I said, “I don’t think I had nearly as much fun as you did in college.”
“We worked hard and we played hard.” She let out a little giggle. “Forgive the bad music joke. You don’t get through the program without picking up at least a couple of those.”
“It’s not like we didn’t have worse in law school.” My gaze flicked to the side for a split second and I swallowed. “It was nice to see you having such a good time with your old friends. You seemed so happy back there.”
She picked at one of the frayed tassels at the end of her scarf. “As you pointed out, we did always have a lot of fun together.”
A beat of silence elapsed, save for the incessant hum of the traffic. “You’ve mentioned it to me a few times and, while my opinion isn’t worth much, maybe you should think about what some of them said about going back to school.”
Natalie ducked her head and her hair swung forward, obscuring what little I could see of her face out of the corner of my eye. “I do think about it,” she said softly. “Especially since I’ve been playing more often since we moved. But these things take time and money, and some days I’m so tired when I get home from working at the supermarket, and—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” I tried to keep my tone breezy as I inched toward our exit off the highway. “If you think it would be more stress than it’s worth right now, that’s understandable. Forget I said anything.”
The streets were pitch black by the time we returned to our complex. I pulled into my driveway and parked. Neither of us moved to get out of the car. “Thank you for inviting me to the recital,” I finally said. “I know it was my first one, but I loved it, and I had a great time.”
The display on the dashboard illuminated Natalie’s face in a cool glow as she shifted toward me. “I’m glad you were able to come. And not just because you offered to drive.”
I chuckled. “It was the least I could do. Everything about today, from the music, to seeing your college, to meeting your friends…” I was relieved the darkness concealed the heat rising to my cheeks. “Like I said, I had a really nice time.”
Her brown eyes sparkled in the wan light. “Me, too.”
“And if any of your other former classmates have a recital and you need someone to go with you, I’m up for it. I don’t even mind branching out from the piano. Maybe it’s time to learn more about the oboe or the tuba.”
The sweet melody of her laughter echoed throughout the small enclosure. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
I didn’t want our day together to end, but I knew we couldn’t stay outside in my car all night, so I turned off the ignition. “I know it’s a short distance, but since it’s pretty dark out there, would you like me to walk you home?” I asked.
“Jonathan!” Grinning, she gave my arm a playful nudge. “I think I’ll be able to make it across the street in one piece.”
“I’m sure you will, but it didn’t feel right not to at least offer.”
She shook her head, her amused expression still displayed across her face as she reached for the door handle. “Though I’m turning it down, I appreciate it.”
We got out of the car and made one more comment apiece about the gloomy weather. “Thanks again,” she said, waving to me as she approached the sidewalk. “I’ll see you soon!”
I watched her cross the street to her townhouse and unlock her front door. After turning on the lights, she gave me one last wave before disappearing inside. Despite the cold air, I wasn’t ready to return to my empty house yet.
My breath clouded in front of me as I leaned against my car and exhaled. Deep down, I accepted Natalie and I would never be more than friends, and I wondered why I continued to torture myself. I was addicted to spending time with her, from the thrilling sparks she ignited whenever she was near me to the crushing aftermath when I forced myself to face reality. Every high and low made me more awake and alive. I knew it wasn’t good for me, I knew I should be focusing more on meeting women I might actually have a shot with…but I couldn’t keep away.
Burying my face in my hands, I let out a loud groan to the empty neighborhood. Sometimes I wished I could go back to feeling nothing at all instead of this roller coaster of conflicting emotions. When I raised my head, I spotted some movement behind the curtains of the window next door, and I made another noise of discontent as I realized I was being watched. I’ll deal with her—all of this tomorrow, I thought as I pushed off the car and headed for my own front door. For the moment, I needed to find something, anything to distract me from the internal debate that had been plaguing me for months.
Chapter Ten
“I have a confession to make.” I stood in the middle of Natalie’s living room and took a deep breath.
“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow and one side of her mouth curled upward.
“Yeah. I…uh, well…” Scratching the back of my head, I looked down and kicked one foot back and forth across the carpet. “With the holidays and everything, and traveling to see family, and wrapping up the end of the year at work…I haven’t been practicing much lately.”
Her sly expression bloomed into a full grin and she burst out laughing. “Is that all?” she said between giggles. “You’re singing the song of every musician, professional or otherwise, I’ve ever met in my entire life.”
Some of the tension eased out of my shoulders. “Shh, you’re not supposed to reveal industry secrets.”
Natalie placed one hand on her hip and cocked her head to the side. “Do you really think I’ve been slaving away over the piano every day for the past few weeks?”
“At least I’m in good company, then.” I offered her a helpless shrug. “Since I’ve told you my deepest, darkest secrets, do you even want to bother with today’s lesson? Or should I come back another day, when it won’t be a complete waste of time?”
“I’ll leave it up to you, but you won’t be wasting my time, I promise.” She gestured toward the piano. “It’ll come back faster than you think, believe it or not. So you might as well give it a try.”
“If you say so.”
I trudged across the room and set the book of music on top of the piano before plopping onto the bench. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” I said as I opened the book to the page I’d been halfheartedly working on.
She sat on the armchair, crossing her legs at the ankles. “You’ll be fine.”
Sitting up straight, I found the notes of the first chord and began to play. Despite Natalie’s encouragement, I didn’t get very far into the first line before everything fell apart. My rhythms were off, I kept missing notes, and the piece sounded nothing like I knew it was supposed to. I slogged through another few measures before throwing my hands up in defeat. “I told you this was going to be terrible.”
“Keep going,” she whispered.
I swallowed back a sigh and tried to pick up where I’d left off. Whatever sounds were coming out of the piano sounded more like noise than music, and I gave up after an especially dissonant missed chord. “Nope. Waste of time. I’ll come back next week and try to redeem myself.”
Natalie leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. “You don’t sound half as bad as you’re pretending you are. Your fingers will remember what to do if you let them.”
“You have way too much faith in my fingers right now.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Do I have to come over there and force you to start playing again?”
