Sonata for Springtime, page 4
“What?”
Her fingertips trailed across the page. “I forgot there was an edition of the Appassionata in here.”
I blinked twice. “Okay, you’re going to have to help me out a little.”
“It’s one of Beethoven’s greatest piano pieces. And one of the most challenging, too.” A wistful look came over her face. “I did spend some time on it in college, just to get a feel for the piece. I was even thinking of performing it at my senior recital.”
Leaning forward, I glanced at the open book. There appeared to be more ink than white space, so I opted not to try to make any sense of the sheet music. “What changed your mind?”
Her cheeks darkened, and she turned away. “I wasn’t 100 percent confident I’d be able to master it by then, play it the way it really should be played. So, I chose different pieces.” Shoulders hunched, she clutched the book to her chest. “Sometimes I wonder if I took the easy way out, like I often do.”
“Hey, being able to get on a stage and perform anything puts you ahead of most of the world.” I tried to reassure her. “I’m sure you did what you thought was best at the time.”
“Then I promised myself I’d tackle it in grad school, when I went for my master’s.” Her nose scrunched up. “But that never happened.”
This day was not improving for either of us. “There’s always time for you to go back to school,” I hurriedly said. “Or you can work on it on your own, like you’ve been doing for the pieces you play for me. Unless you still don’t want to play this one in front of anyone else, because it’s not like I’m demanding you perform for me, but of course I’d listen if you want me to, and…” The words spilled out of my mouth too fast, and I stopped to take a breath. “If the piece is important to you, I’d love to be your audience if you want one. Or you could sit here and play nothing but scales, and I’d continue to be impressed.”
The tension eased out of her body, and when her eyes met mine again, the sparkle had returned to their warm brown depths. “I’ll give it a try when I’m on my own and see how reasonable a goal it is, okay?”
“Seems like a good plan to me.”
Natalie closed the book and put it back on the shelf. “We haven’t solved our dilemma of what I should play today. Any special requests?”
Most of the titles of what she performed had blurred together in my mind, and I’d yet to hear music from her I didn’t enjoy. “Pick something that makes you feel good, and then I’ll feel better, too.”
She beamed at me, and her expression was enough to help brighten my own mood. When she selected another book from her collection, I settled back in the chair and prepared to lose myself in the wonderful melodies she shared with me.
Chapter Six
Sunlight flooded my bedroom, illuminating the neat stacks of socks and underwear spread out on my bed. The air-conditioning whirred above me as I folded a pile of T-shirts, the soft noise a near-constant presence during the relentless summer heat. Regardless of the weather or season, I liked following the routines I’d settled into over the years. Weekends were devoted to laundry. I picked up my dry cleaning after work on Mondays, went grocery shopping on Wednesdays, struggled with learning how to play the piano at least two evenings per week…
The sudden cessation of the cold air blowing through the vents interrupted my thoughts. I glanced around the room and saw my alarm clock and cable box had gone dark. “Power outage,” I muttered. “Not surprising in the middle of summer.”
I continued folding my shirts and waited for all my electronics to buzz back to life. And waited. And waited some more. The temperature rose quickly in the small room, and I wiped a few beads of sweat off the back of my neck after I put the last of the clean clothes away in a dresser drawer. At least I’d finished all the laundry before the power went out. I set to work straightening up my bedroom, both to clear away any clutter preventing me from enjoying my space and to distract myself from the uncomfortable warmth.
When I finished my weekly cleaning, I went into the living room in the hopes I’d be cooler away from the windows. No such luck, considering the air-conditioning had been off for over an hour. I collapsed onto the couch and reached for the TV remote before remembering it wouldn’t work. Apparently, it didn’t take long for the heat to make me stupid. With little else to do, I swung my legs up onto the cushions and closed my eyes.
When I awoke later in the afternoon, nothing had changed. Shifting to one side, I dug my cell phone out of the pocket of my shorts. I didn’t want to run down the battery too much since there was no telling when the electricity would come back on, but I wanted to check on Mrs. Wilkes. I fired off a quick text message to her and then looked around for something to do.
Twenty minutes passed, and I’d received no reply. I reached for the phone again, and this time, I actually called her. On the other end, it rang six times before going to her voicemail. Through the heat-induced fog in my head, I tried to recall the last time she failed to respond to me. Attempts to convince myself she likely had a good reason for not getting back to me were futile, and I couldn’t ignore the growing pit in my stomach.
Outside, the blazing sun made the high temperature feel even more oppressive. Despite my discomfort, I jogged across our lawns and up her front steps. I peeked through the windows, but the curtains and lack of lighting prevented me from seeing anything. Raising my fist, I knocked on the front door. “Mrs. Wilkes? Is everything all right in there?”
No answer.
I went around to the side and back of her unit but was still unable to see inside. I pressed my ear to the back door in the hopes of at least hearing Rocky running around or barking. Nothing.
Returning to the front of the house, I banged on the door one more time. As I debated what to do next, I heard another voice call to me. “Jonathan? What’s going on? Is something wrong?”
I spun around. Natalie had come out of her house and stood in the middle of her walkway. I hurried down the stairs and met her in the street. “I’m worried about Mrs. Wilkes. I’m sure it’s hotter than hell inside her house with this power outage, and I can’t get ahold of her.”
“Oh no.” Her brows knit together with concern. “Do you have a key?”
Shielding my eyes from the sun, I looked back at our row of buildings and exhaled. “We talked about exchanging spares once or twice, but it never happened. Believe me, I’m kicking myself over it right now.”
“Okay, well, let’s not dwell on that right this second.” She gestured toward the porch. “Do you think we should break a window or something?”
“I don’t know.” I took a little comfort in not having to deal with the situation alone, yet it wasn’t enough to prevent all sorts of terrible thoughts from racing through my mind. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and she left one of them unlocked.”
Natalie nodded vigorously. “Good idea. Where should we start?”
I stepped over the strip of grass at the curb and onto the sidewalk. “The front?” I said. “Though I doubt—”
A shrill alert emanating from my pocket interrupted me. My heart lurched in my chest as I nearly tripped over the pavement, but I recovered and grabbed the ringing phone. The screen displayed Mrs. Wilkes’s name, and I let out a long breath. “Where are you?” I demanded as soon as I answered, forgoing any formal greetings or pleasantries.
“Well, hello to you, too,” came the response through the speaker. “I’m visiting my cousin. Why do I have a dozen missed calls and texts from you?”
“Is Rocky with you?”
“Yes, he is.” Her voice faded as her phone moved away. “Rocky, say hi to Jonathan.”
He barked twice. My shoulders slumped, and I felt as if I might collapse into a puddle onto the sidewalk. “I’m sorry,” I said. “The power’s been out for a while over here, and when I went to check on you and you didn’t answer…”
“Aren’t you the sweetest?” she teased. “I thought I’d mentioned I was going away for the weekend.”
“I don’t think you did.”
“Oh. Hmm.” Even without seeing her, I could tell she was trying not to laugh. “Maybe I didn’t get the chance since you haven’t come by in a while.”
I stifled another sigh. “If everything’s okay, then I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.”
“Thank you for calling. It’s always good to know people care.”
“And when you come home, I promise I’ll let you make me some tea,” I said, caving in to the guilt. “Iced, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course, dear. Try to keep cool.”
I hung up the phone and tried to avoid Natalie’s inquisitive gaze. “I feel like the world’s biggest idiot,” I mumbled.
“Don’t say that!” She reached out and touched my arm, her lingering hand leaving a searing imprint on my already flushed skin. “You did the right thing.”
“I overreacted and jumped to the worst possible conclusions.” Groaning, I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. “I think the heat is affecting my brain.”
“Entirely possible.”
When I uncovered my face, she offered me a warm smile. It didn’t do much to help my mood. “I’m sorry for involving you in all this,” I said.
“Oh my goodness, don’t apologize. I’m as relieved as you are now.” She glanced back and forth across the street. “Hey, since everything seems to have resolved itself, do you want to come over for a while? Chris is stuck in the city for the time being, and if we’re going to be sweaty and miserable until the power comes back on, we might as well do it together.”
Some of the tightness eased out of my shoulders, tension I hadn’t realized I’d been holding in. “Sure. You can try to help me forget how utterly stupid I feel.”
She gave me a light shove as we crossed over to the opposite sidewalk. “Stop it. Anyone would be thrilled to have a neighbor like you.”
The inside of Natalie’s house was as stuffy and uncomfortable as mine, yet I conceded her point and assumed her company would help the time pass faster. I sat in the armchair, as always, and she flopped onto the couch across from me. “I can’t believe the power’s been out this long,” she said. “Not like I was doing much of anything today anyway.”
“Same here.” I stretched my legs out in front of me. “Just folding the laundry and other mundane activities.”
“At least you were being productive. Which is better than I can say.” She reclined against a pillow, the thin strap of her tank top sliding off her shoulder as she leaned back. “The lack of electricity has made me realize how dull I am. No TV, no Wi-Fi…I think I need some better hobbies.”
“You are anything but dull.” I couldn’t tell how serious she was but set out to bolster my statement. “What happened to your gardening?”
“Some little creature ate most of my tomatoes.”
I tried not to smile. “Oops. I guess Chris needs to build you a fence.”
“I’ll put it on his to-do list, for whenever he’s actually here and gets around to it.” She glanced at me and cringed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t criticize the garden when you helped him out with it.”
“Trust me, I take no offense.” My gaze rested on the piano beside me. “But, don’t forget, you have your music. That alone makes you far more interesting than me, plus you don’t need to plug anything in.”
“I don’t want to make us even more cranky, so I won’t argue with you. For now.” Her expression softened as she turned onto her side. “I was planning on practicing today, you know. The Appassionata is coming along, though I still have a lot of work to do.” She stuck out her tongue. “The melody is recognizable now. Mostly.”
“Whenever you’re ready, I look forward to hearing it.”
Natalie swung her legs around and sat up on the couch. “I’m tired of lying around, waiting for the power to come back on,” she said as she stood. Crossing the room, she pulled out the piano bench. “I won’t force you to play, but I need to do something. What are you in the mood for?”
“I can’t imagine doing anything other than sitting here and sweating, but I won’t turn down a free performance.”
“If I pass out, you’re here to revive me.” She took her seat and opened her favorite book of sonatas which already lay on the stand. “More Beethoven it is, then.”
With deft fingers on the keys, she coaxed forth the first few tender strains of the piece she’d selected. Anticipation simmered inside me. The music she played never failed to delight my ears, and being able to observe her added to my enjoyment. When she sat at the piano, every emotion she felt was clearly displayed. Regardless of whether she knew it, her performances exposed a special part of her. This was the real Natalie.
The chords grew louder and more forceful, the melody more frenzied. Her whole body moved with her efforts to produce something magnificent, from her arms reaching for the ends of the keyboard to her foot pumping the pedal. She closed her eyes, and her lips parted as she breathed in time with the music. Her unkempt hair swished around her shoulders, drawing my eye to a trickle of sweat sliding down her neck toward the upper edge of her tank top. I watched her play, captivated by the messy, raw, passionate scene before me, and marveled at how much I’d fallen in love with her.
Wait…what?
The dizzying thought took shape and solidified in my mind. Sure, I liked spending time with Natalie, but she was nothing more than a friend. Not to mention she was already engaged to someone else, so she couldn’t possibly feel that way about me, and I didn’t seem like her type anyway, and…
All attempts at rationalization and denial failed. The music continued, as she remained unaware of my reactions, and the sounds blurred into a jarring haze. The room felt even hotter than it had before, and my chest tightened. Struggling to breathe normally, I tried to fight through the overwhelming sensations.
I stood abruptly. Without saying anything, I rushed to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Leaning over the sink, I rested my arms on the cool countertop, let my head drop, and tried to compose myself.
Deep down, I’d known for a while. Everything about her enthralled me. She was talented, compassionate, attractive…anything and everything I could hope to find in a woman. Spending time with her had almost become an addiction. I loved every moment I spent in her presence and craved her companionship when we were apart. I wanted to be with her.
And I couldn’t have her.
I groaned, my forearms muffling the strained noise. Telling Natalie how I felt would be unfair, of course. She was happily engaged to another man, someone I rather liked, and I’d be a terrible person if I interfered. I needed to keep this a secret and figure out the best course of action going forward. But first, I had to get out of the bathroom.
As if on cue, I heard a soft knock on the door. “Jonathan? Are you okay?”
The notes of concern in her voice tugged at my heart for various reasons. “Yeah, I’ll be right out,” I called back. I turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water on my face, hoping to jolt myself out of my anxious state and calm the fire burning in my cheeks. Straightening, I wiped the moisture away with the bottom of my T-shirt and avoided looking at what was sure to be my unpleasant reflection in the mirror.
Natalie’s worried expression made me feel better and worse at the same time when I opened the door. “Sorry,” I mumbled. “I think the heat got to me for a minute there.”
The lines in her forehead deepened further. “Can I get you something? A glass of water, or—”
“No, no, I’m fine.” I struggled not to squirm as her gaze burned into me. “I think I should be heading home now, though. Maybe I’ll lie down for a bit.”
She nodded. “Get some rest, then, okay? And let me know if you need anything.”
I stumbled out of the townhouse, blinking in the bright sun. A maelstrom of conflicting thoughts swirled around my head. Both the heat and uneasiness prickled across my skin, my pulse fluttering. Tired, yet agitated, I trudged back home to cool off.
Chapter Seven
“Who wants cheese on their burger?”
Chris stood in front of a grill at the edge of the patio, spatula in hand. I, along with a number of other guys, formed a half circle around him, holding bottles of beer and offering useless cooking suggestions in our attempt at performing the stereotypical male-bonding rituals. Across the yard, Rocky happily rolled in the grass, welcoming attention from anyone willing to give it. The barbecue was attended by the members of The Unnatural Remedies, some of Natalie’s coworkers, and an assortment of other friends from various social circles.
And then there was me, who didn’t know anyone besides the two hosts. Despite anticipating some awkwardness, I found it difficult to refuse any invitation Natalie offered.
I’d struggled with determining how much time, if any, I should continue to spend with her. Accepting my true feelings about her had been challenging, but I knew there was no use in trying to deny them. Figuring out what to do about them was a different story. Or, rather, what not to do. Keeping my distance would have been the more sensible option, but I couldn’t stay away from her.
Someone thrust a paper plate with a lopsided cheeseburger perched on top of it into my hands. The charred meat appeared far too well-done for my liking, but I didn’t say anything. I wandered over to the table containing chips, salads, and other side dishes. As I filled my plate, I glanced around the yard, searching for a group of people I could at least sit adjacent to.
“Jonathan!”
I turned at the sound of my name being called. Natalie waved me over, gesturing to one of the empty chairs near where she sat in the yard. I breathed a sigh of relief at not having to navigate obligatory small talk and other frivolous interactions with strangers. After all, she was the only reason I’d come to the party in the first place.
The chair creaked as I sat down and tried to balance my food and drink. Rocky trotted over to my feet, tail wagging. I broke off a small piece of my burger for him and he lay down in the grass beside me.
