One-Timer (Carolina Comets), page 9
“You don’t have to.”
“You’re right. I don’t have to—I want to.”
“You…want to be part of this?”
He scowls more deeply than I’ve ever seen him scowl before. “You’re fucking kidding me, right? Of course I want to be part of this. Why wouldn’t I want to be?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. We don’t really know each other all that well. I mean, yeah, we had this connection and shared a night together, but that’s it. It’s not like either of us planned to continue seeing each other past that one night. This…this is different than just bumping into one another after having sex and doing the whole We’ve seen one another nude awkward dance thing.”
“I remember.”
“This isn’t something we just walk away from in the morning, Lowell.”
“I know.”
“This is a baby. This is forever.”
He growls. “I know what it means, Hollis, and I want it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Surer than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”
I try not to let my relief show. As much as I was prepared for the opposite, I was hoping he’d say that.
“Okay. Then we should probably go. My appointment is in an hour.”
“Remind me again why we got here thirty minutes early when our appointment was twenty minutes ago and we’re still waiting?”
Our appointment.
I don’t miss that he says that. The way he’s inserted himself into this makes my stomach flutter, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing yet.
He drove the exact speed limit on the way here, which drove me nuts. Then he wouldn’t let me out of the truck unless he opened the door, which was also annoying, albeit a little cute.
He insisted on helping me down and carrying my purse. I really wanted to remind him that I’m barely even pregnant and he was being extremely extra, but every time I opened my mouth to say something, I couldn’t get the words out. I think it’s because I’m just relieved he wants to be part of this with me.
I don’t have any crazy notions that we’re suddenly going to be dating and then get married and live happily ever after. That’s not going to happen, and I’m fine with it. But just the fact that he’s here? That he’s not running away or trying to toss money at me to keep quiet about the baby?
Yeah, it makes my stomach flutter for sure.
“I’m sure it’ll just be a few more minutes.”
He shoots me a look that says that’s not likely. “We’ve been here forever.”
“I know, but what can we do about it?”
He huffs, then before I know it, he’s marching across the room.
“Lowell!” I whisper-yell at him, and he ignores me. “Cameron!” I hiss.
This time he turns around, his eyes sparking at the use of his first name before he holds his hand up like he’s trying to calm me. He saunters up to the front desk with just enough cockiness, the kind that isn’t so much that it makes him look douchey. He rests his forearms—the forearms I know look incredible—on the counter and leans across it toward the young nurse sitting there.
“Hey there,” he says to her, using that same voice I’ve heard from him before—slick and silky and all kinds of hot. “I was wondering if you could tell me about how much longer it’s going to be, Josie.”
He puts extra emphasis on her name, laying the charm on thick.
And it works. Red steals up her cheeks, and she bats her lashes up at him.
“Let me just check really quick. What’s the name again?”
“Lowell.” Again, more emphasis on the name. “Was kind of hoping we could get in soon. I have hockey practice in a bit, and…” He trails off, waiting for her to connect the dots.
If the way her eyes sparkle is any indication, she knows just who he is, and I have a feeling we’re about to be next. She turns to the computer, her fingers flying over the keyboard, her mouse clicking rapidly.
And then… “Ah, you’re in luck. The doctor will see you now.”
“Really? Wow. Thank you so much, Josie.”
He sends her that same panty-melting smile he gave me at Harper’s wedding, and I’d bet a hundred dollars that girl’s chair is wet right now.
Lowell waves me over as she rises to buzz us in.
I lift my brows at him. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says, holding the door open for me. “Now let’s go see our baby.”
Our baby.
I don’t miss that he says it.
And I don’t miss the way it makes me feel.
10
LOWELL
“I brought donuts.”
I hold up the baby blue box of this city’s best-kept secret as a peace offering for being a few minutes late.
Hollis looks surprised to see me. “You’re here.”
“Yes?” I don’t know why it’s a question, but I also don’t know why she’s questioning my presence. “We have an appointment, right?”
“I wasn’t sure you wanted to go since I haven’t seen you in a while…”
“As long as it doesn’t interfere with hockey, then I’ll be there. Always.”
I won’t lie and say I haven’t been avoiding her a little but that’s because I don’t know how to be around her. Does she just want me hanging out over at her place? Does she want to come to mine? Are we supposed to be spending time together at all? I don’t really know how to navigate this. I’ve never had to before.
In fact, I haven’t spent time with someone I’ve slept with since Celine, and everyone knows how that turned out.
Hollis shakes her head. “You know what, never mind. It doesn’t matter. We should get going. We’re late.”
“I know, and I’m sorry about that,” I say as she shoves out of her apartment, then turns to lock it. “Which is why I brought donuts to make up for it.”
“You’re late, so you decided to make yourself more late by stopping to pick up donuts?”
“Well, no. I had the thought to get donuts first, and when I was leaving with the donuts in hand—completely on time, mind you—my truck wouldn’t start.”
She shoots me a look as we step into the elevator and she presses the Lobby button. “Let me put on my shocked face that your POS truck wouldn’t start. Tell me, Lowell, just exactly how many layers of duct tape are holding up your bumper?”
“Hey! I’ll have you know Fiona takes great exception to being talked about that way.”
“Fiona? You named your truck Fiona?”
“Yep. Princess Fiona to be more accurate. Like from Shrek.”
It takes her a moment to get it. “Because she’s big and green and ugly.”
“Precisely.” I grin as we step out of the elevator. “Anyway, it’s not her fault,” I say, holding the door to her building open for her, trying to score some points back. “It was mine. I knew better than to risk turning her off. She gets kind of pissy when it’s cold out.”
“I am so confused about why you’re driving around in that hunk of junk. Don’t you make like six and a half million a year?”
“First, it’s seven. Second, don’t you dare call my baby a hunk of junk. She has feelings, you know.”
Hollis rolls her eyes as I open her car door for her. “Need I remind you”—she climbs into the truck, then points to her belly—“you’ll have a baby to worry about soon too.”
“I’ll get a second car, then. I’m not giving Fiona up yet though. I can’t. Here.” I hand her the donuts and make sure she’s safely in the vehicle before closing the door and heading to my side. I climb behind the wheel of my beloved albeit beat-up truck and crank the engine.
Just like at the donut truck, she fusses about it. It takes three tries, but she eventually fires, and we’re pulling out on the road.
I can feel Hollis’ stare on me, and I glance over at her. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Not nothing. What?”
She waves her hand toward the dashboard with an amused grin as if that explains everything.
“What? It’s part of her charm,” I explain. “Besides, she can’t go until I’m done playing hockey.”
“And how close are you to being done?”
“Like ten years if I’m lucky.”
“I don’t think this truck can last ten more years.”
“Shh! Stop jinxing it!”
She snorts, then flips open the box of donuts. She plucks one out and holds it up as if to ask me what kind.
“Boston cream.”
She nods, then takes a huge bite, and I nearly swerve off the road when a bit of white cream dribbles down her chin. She wipes it away quickly before I do something stupid like park this truck and haul her into my lap and remind us just how we got into this situation in the first place.
“What’s your big attachment to her anyway?”
Big attachment to…?
Oh, right—my truck.
I try to adjust myself as inconspicuously as possible and shrug. “I don’t know. She’s just… Well, she’s been there with me through it all. Got her when I was sixteen. Paid for her myself after working and saving for two years.” I pat the dash lovingly. “We’ve been through high school, college, the draft, the NHL…everything.”
We pull up to a stoplight and I glance over to find Hollis’ lips pulled into a smile. “Is she your lucky charm, Lowell?”
“What? No.” I feel the tips of my ears heat at my lie. “I don’t believe in lucky charms.”
“Pretty sure being superstitious is like rule number one for playing hockey.”
“Oh yeah? You a hockey expert now?”
She wrinkles her nose. “Nah. I’m actually not really into it.”
“You’re… Excuse me?”
“Yeah, it’s just not really my thing.”
“I… Wow. I’m speechless right now.”
“Sorry?”
“It’s okay. I think. Maybe.” I slap my hand against the steering wheel. “No, no. It’s not okay actually. Like…how? How? Hockey is…”
“Eh.”
“Eh? Eh?” I shake my head. “I’m going to make you love it. Just watch.”
“You can try, but I doubt it.”
“That’s what your sister said too, now look at her. I’m pretty sure she painted her face for at least half of the games last season.”
“That’s because she’s insane.”
“And you’re not?”
“No.”
“Hmm. I seem to recall a certain someone punching a certain someone else over their music being too loud. I’m pretty sure that qualifies as insane.”
“Not if it was justified.”
I shake my head with a grin and focus on the road. The drive to the doctor’s isn’t far, and we’re pulling into the parking lot in no time. She was worried about being late, but we’re still thirty minutes early.
I shut the truck off and look over, just watching her as she stares out the window. Her lips are slightly parted and there’s a little wrinkle between her brows with how deep in thought she is right now.
I want to reach over and run my finger over all the lines marring her forehead, brush them away along with all her worries and doubts. But I’m scared if I touch her, I won’t be able to stop.
“You okay?” I ask quietly.
She jumps slightly, almost like she forgot I was even here, then clears her throat. “Yeah. I just… Sorry. Got lost in thought for a minute.”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Honestly? Everything. How good these donuts taste. The appointment. How we’re going to raise a child together when you’re a professional hockey player and away half the year. How our whole lives are changing. Just…everything.” She sighs, then tosses the half-eaten donut into the box, looking exhausted by the day already.
I get it. It’s a lot to take in.
“We don’t have to think about all that now. We have time still. I think right now, we just need to focus on getting to know each other better.”
She snorts. “Right. Because we don’t really know each other beyond the bedroom, do we?”
“I personally think the bedroom is a really good place to know someone.”
“Yes, I am well aware of that fact about you.”
She smiles, but it’s sad, and that makes me sad. I know she’s worried about so many things—and I am too—but I don’t want today to be about all the stress of what’s to come.
“Tell me about the appointment today,” I say to distract her. “What’s going on?”
“We get to hear the baby’s heartbeat.”
I sit up straight. “We do?” She nods. “Is that why you’re nervous?”
Another nod. “Yes. I’m just…scared. Worried.”
“About what?”
“That we won’t hear anything.”
Screw my rule about not touching her. I need to touch her right now. I reach over and grab Hollis’ hand, lacing our fingers together. She’s surprised by it at first, but it doesn’t take her long to relax. Her shoulders drop as she sags against the seat like just my touching her has somehow taken some weight off her shoulders.
It makes me feel bad because it didn’t even cross my mind that something like that was a possibility. The thought of that happening makes me sadder than I thought possible, and I’m surprised by that.
When everything happened with Celine, I put up walls. A lot of walls—like all the walls when it came to anything serious. No relationships. No promises of futures. Not even breakfast the morning after because it just set too many expectations and I wasn’t in the business of fulfilling them.
Since I met Hollis, I’ve felt the cracks in those bricks I stacked up so high. And this crack? It just might be the biggest of all.
It’s just occurred to me in this very moment that I want this baby. I really want this baby. I don’t want to walk into that doctor’s office and there not be a heartbeat.
“Great. Now you look scared too.”
“I am,” I say honestly, and her mouth drops open at my confession. “But I also know we don’t have a thing to worry about. We’re going to go in there and hear our baby’s heartbeat, and everything is going to be just fine.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I just do. And if I’m wrong, I’ll let you hit me again. I know how much you love doing that.”
“Ugh,” she groans. “I can’t believe I’m having a baby with you.”
“Well, it’s happening, so believe it, darlin’.” I wink at her, and she rolls her eyes, but I see the smile playing on her lips. “Now come on, let’s get inside before we’re really late.”
I push my door open but stop when I hear my name on her lips.
“Hey, Cameron?”
“Hmm?” I look back over at her.
She’s peering up at me with unsure eyes.
She doesn’t say anything for a long moment, just stares at me.
Then finally… “I’m glad it’s you.”
I hate that my throat grows tight and my eyes burn with unshed tears. Her words are like a punch to the gut and the absolute last thing I was expecting her to say.
I clear my throat and run my tongue across my lips.
“I’m glad it’s you too, Hollis.”
Pride swells in my chest as I stare out at the group of guys on the ice.
They look good. They look ready.
We’re currently up three to one in our preseason game against Florida, and I knew the moment my skates touched the ice that this is exactly what I’ve been needing. To be out on the ice where I belong, to get my head back on straight and get immersed in the game I live for.
“Strong legs out there already,” Collin comments, eyes trained on the same thing I’m looking at.
“Attaboy, Miller!” I yell as he flies by. Coach is testing him on some new lines this season, but he’s looking good, looking sharp. “Keep this energy up and I think it’ll be a good season.”
“Spoken like a true captain,” Rhodes says. He looks left and right, making sure nobody is paying us any attention, then leans in a bit. “You, uh, tell Coach yet?”
I shake my head, looking over at the short guy with the round belly, trying to picture the man who used to be an enforcer but finding it hard to see. “Not yet.”
“You need to before the season starts.”
He’s right. I know he is.
I’m just not really looking forward to walking into Coach’s office and telling him, “Hey, remember that time I proposed to my girl because she was pregnant and we planned a wedding, and then it turned out she wasn’t pregnant and it was a whole big thing? Yeah, well, this time I knocked up a one-night stand, and she’s really knocked up this time. Oh, and, by the way, she’s due in April.”
He’s going to shit a brick.
“I will.”
“Harper said things are going well,” Collin comments out of the side of his mouth, eyes still tracking what’s happening on the ice in front of us.
“Ryan even said you’re going to appointments with her and got to hear the heartbeat yesterday,” Rhodes adds.
“I heard you cried.”
“I did not,” I lie, because I swear to fuck I’m taking to my grave that after I dropped Hollis off at her apartment, I cried on my drive home. I felt stupid for it, but I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that this is happening.
With Celine, it was different when she came to me saying she was pregnant. We’d been dating for months at that point. Sure, our relationship was still in that early honeymoon phase and there was still a lot of learning and growing to do, but we were committed to each other.
With Hollis, it’s a whole different arena we’re playing in now, and that’s what scares me the most about it.
“I heard you wept like a little baby,” Rhodes adds.
I did. “Fuck off.” I scowl at them. “Is that all you four do? Just sit around and gab about my private life?”
“It’s been the hot topic at the dinner table lately,” Collin says. “I mean, you did get my sister-in-law pregnant. She and Harper talk a lot, you know.”
“About anything good?” I’m only half-joking.
“You’re right. I don’t have to—I want to.”
“You…want to be part of this?”
He scowls more deeply than I’ve ever seen him scowl before. “You’re fucking kidding me, right? Of course I want to be part of this. Why wouldn’t I want to be?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. We don’t really know each other all that well. I mean, yeah, we had this connection and shared a night together, but that’s it. It’s not like either of us planned to continue seeing each other past that one night. This…this is different than just bumping into one another after having sex and doing the whole We’ve seen one another nude awkward dance thing.”
“I remember.”
“This isn’t something we just walk away from in the morning, Lowell.”
“I know.”
“This is a baby. This is forever.”
He growls. “I know what it means, Hollis, and I want it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Surer than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”
I try not to let my relief show. As much as I was prepared for the opposite, I was hoping he’d say that.
“Okay. Then we should probably go. My appointment is in an hour.”
“Remind me again why we got here thirty minutes early when our appointment was twenty minutes ago and we’re still waiting?”
Our appointment.
I don’t miss that he says that. The way he’s inserted himself into this makes my stomach flutter, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing yet.
He drove the exact speed limit on the way here, which drove me nuts. Then he wouldn’t let me out of the truck unless he opened the door, which was also annoying, albeit a little cute.
He insisted on helping me down and carrying my purse. I really wanted to remind him that I’m barely even pregnant and he was being extremely extra, but every time I opened my mouth to say something, I couldn’t get the words out. I think it’s because I’m just relieved he wants to be part of this with me.
I don’t have any crazy notions that we’re suddenly going to be dating and then get married and live happily ever after. That’s not going to happen, and I’m fine with it. But just the fact that he’s here? That he’s not running away or trying to toss money at me to keep quiet about the baby?
Yeah, it makes my stomach flutter for sure.
“I’m sure it’ll just be a few more minutes.”
He shoots me a look that says that’s not likely. “We’ve been here forever.”
“I know, but what can we do about it?”
He huffs, then before I know it, he’s marching across the room.
“Lowell!” I whisper-yell at him, and he ignores me. “Cameron!” I hiss.
This time he turns around, his eyes sparking at the use of his first name before he holds his hand up like he’s trying to calm me. He saunters up to the front desk with just enough cockiness, the kind that isn’t so much that it makes him look douchey. He rests his forearms—the forearms I know look incredible—on the counter and leans across it toward the young nurse sitting there.
“Hey there,” he says to her, using that same voice I’ve heard from him before—slick and silky and all kinds of hot. “I was wondering if you could tell me about how much longer it’s going to be, Josie.”
He puts extra emphasis on her name, laying the charm on thick.
And it works. Red steals up her cheeks, and she bats her lashes up at him.
“Let me just check really quick. What’s the name again?”
“Lowell.” Again, more emphasis on the name. “Was kind of hoping we could get in soon. I have hockey practice in a bit, and…” He trails off, waiting for her to connect the dots.
If the way her eyes sparkle is any indication, she knows just who he is, and I have a feeling we’re about to be next. She turns to the computer, her fingers flying over the keyboard, her mouse clicking rapidly.
And then… “Ah, you’re in luck. The doctor will see you now.”
“Really? Wow. Thank you so much, Josie.”
He sends her that same panty-melting smile he gave me at Harper’s wedding, and I’d bet a hundred dollars that girl’s chair is wet right now.
Lowell waves me over as she rises to buzz us in.
I lift my brows at him. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says, holding the door open for me. “Now let’s go see our baby.”
Our baby.
I don’t miss that he says it.
And I don’t miss the way it makes me feel.
10
LOWELL
“I brought donuts.”
I hold up the baby blue box of this city’s best-kept secret as a peace offering for being a few minutes late.
Hollis looks surprised to see me. “You’re here.”
“Yes?” I don’t know why it’s a question, but I also don’t know why she’s questioning my presence. “We have an appointment, right?”
“I wasn’t sure you wanted to go since I haven’t seen you in a while…”
“As long as it doesn’t interfere with hockey, then I’ll be there. Always.”
I won’t lie and say I haven’t been avoiding her a little but that’s because I don’t know how to be around her. Does she just want me hanging out over at her place? Does she want to come to mine? Are we supposed to be spending time together at all? I don’t really know how to navigate this. I’ve never had to before.
In fact, I haven’t spent time with someone I’ve slept with since Celine, and everyone knows how that turned out.
Hollis shakes her head. “You know what, never mind. It doesn’t matter. We should get going. We’re late.”
“I know, and I’m sorry about that,” I say as she shoves out of her apartment, then turns to lock it. “Which is why I brought donuts to make up for it.”
“You’re late, so you decided to make yourself more late by stopping to pick up donuts?”
“Well, no. I had the thought to get donuts first, and when I was leaving with the donuts in hand—completely on time, mind you—my truck wouldn’t start.”
She shoots me a look as we step into the elevator and she presses the Lobby button. “Let me put on my shocked face that your POS truck wouldn’t start. Tell me, Lowell, just exactly how many layers of duct tape are holding up your bumper?”
“Hey! I’ll have you know Fiona takes great exception to being talked about that way.”
“Fiona? You named your truck Fiona?”
“Yep. Princess Fiona to be more accurate. Like from Shrek.”
It takes her a moment to get it. “Because she’s big and green and ugly.”
“Precisely.” I grin as we step out of the elevator. “Anyway, it’s not her fault,” I say, holding the door to her building open for her, trying to score some points back. “It was mine. I knew better than to risk turning her off. She gets kind of pissy when it’s cold out.”
“I am so confused about why you’re driving around in that hunk of junk. Don’t you make like six and a half million a year?”
“First, it’s seven. Second, don’t you dare call my baby a hunk of junk. She has feelings, you know.”
Hollis rolls her eyes as I open her car door for her. “Need I remind you”—she climbs into the truck, then points to her belly—“you’ll have a baby to worry about soon too.”
“I’ll get a second car, then. I’m not giving Fiona up yet though. I can’t. Here.” I hand her the donuts and make sure she’s safely in the vehicle before closing the door and heading to my side. I climb behind the wheel of my beloved albeit beat-up truck and crank the engine.
Just like at the donut truck, she fusses about it. It takes three tries, but she eventually fires, and we’re pulling out on the road.
I can feel Hollis’ stare on me, and I glance over at her. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Not nothing. What?”
She waves her hand toward the dashboard with an amused grin as if that explains everything.
“What? It’s part of her charm,” I explain. “Besides, she can’t go until I’m done playing hockey.”
“And how close are you to being done?”
“Like ten years if I’m lucky.”
“I don’t think this truck can last ten more years.”
“Shh! Stop jinxing it!”
She snorts, then flips open the box of donuts. She plucks one out and holds it up as if to ask me what kind.
“Boston cream.”
She nods, then takes a huge bite, and I nearly swerve off the road when a bit of white cream dribbles down her chin. She wipes it away quickly before I do something stupid like park this truck and haul her into my lap and remind us just how we got into this situation in the first place.
“What’s your big attachment to her anyway?”
Big attachment to…?
Oh, right—my truck.
I try to adjust myself as inconspicuously as possible and shrug. “I don’t know. She’s just… Well, she’s been there with me through it all. Got her when I was sixteen. Paid for her myself after working and saving for two years.” I pat the dash lovingly. “We’ve been through high school, college, the draft, the NHL…everything.”
We pull up to a stoplight and I glance over to find Hollis’ lips pulled into a smile. “Is she your lucky charm, Lowell?”
“What? No.” I feel the tips of my ears heat at my lie. “I don’t believe in lucky charms.”
“Pretty sure being superstitious is like rule number one for playing hockey.”
“Oh yeah? You a hockey expert now?”
She wrinkles her nose. “Nah. I’m actually not really into it.”
“You’re… Excuse me?”
“Yeah, it’s just not really my thing.”
“I… Wow. I’m speechless right now.”
“Sorry?”
“It’s okay. I think. Maybe.” I slap my hand against the steering wheel. “No, no. It’s not okay actually. Like…how? How? Hockey is…”
“Eh.”
“Eh? Eh?” I shake my head. “I’m going to make you love it. Just watch.”
“You can try, but I doubt it.”
“That’s what your sister said too, now look at her. I’m pretty sure she painted her face for at least half of the games last season.”
“That’s because she’s insane.”
“And you’re not?”
“No.”
“Hmm. I seem to recall a certain someone punching a certain someone else over their music being too loud. I’m pretty sure that qualifies as insane.”
“Not if it was justified.”
I shake my head with a grin and focus on the road. The drive to the doctor’s isn’t far, and we’re pulling into the parking lot in no time. She was worried about being late, but we’re still thirty minutes early.
I shut the truck off and look over, just watching her as she stares out the window. Her lips are slightly parted and there’s a little wrinkle between her brows with how deep in thought she is right now.
I want to reach over and run my finger over all the lines marring her forehead, brush them away along with all her worries and doubts. But I’m scared if I touch her, I won’t be able to stop.
“You okay?” I ask quietly.
She jumps slightly, almost like she forgot I was even here, then clears her throat. “Yeah. I just… Sorry. Got lost in thought for a minute.”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Honestly? Everything. How good these donuts taste. The appointment. How we’re going to raise a child together when you’re a professional hockey player and away half the year. How our whole lives are changing. Just…everything.” She sighs, then tosses the half-eaten donut into the box, looking exhausted by the day already.
I get it. It’s a lot to take in.
“We don’t have to think about all that now. We have time still. I think right now, we just need to focus on getting to know each other better.”
She snorts. “Right. Because we don’t really know each other beyond the bedroom, do we?”
“I personally think the bedroom is a really good place to know someone.”
“Yes, I am well aware of that fact about you.”
She smiles, but it’s sad, and that makes me sad. I know she’s worried about so many things—and I am too—but I don’t want today to be about all the stress of what’s to come.
“Tell me about the appointment today,” I say to distract her. “What’s going on?”
“We get to hear the baby’s heartbeat.”
I sit up straight. “We do?” She nods. “Is that why you’re nervous?”
Another nod. “Yes. I’m just…scared. Worried.”
“About what?”
“That we won’t hear anything.”
Screw my rule about not touching her. I need to touch her right now. I reach over and grab Hollis’ hand, lacing our fingers together. She’s surprised by it at first, but it doesn’t take her long to relax. Her shoulders drop as she sags against the seat like just my touching her has somehow taken some weight off her shoulders.
It makes me feel bad because it didn’t even cross my mind that something like that was a possibility. The thought of that happening makes me sadder than I thought possible, and I’m surprised by that.
When everything happened with Celine, I put up walls. A lot of walls—like all the walls when it came to anything serious. No relationships. No promises of futures. Not even breakfast the morning after because it just set too many expectations and I wasn’t in the business of fulfilling them.
Since I met Hollis, I’ve felt the cracks in those bricks I stacked up so high. And this crack? It just might be the biggest of all.
It’s just occurred to me in this very moment that I want this baby. I really want this baby. I don’t want to walk into that doctor’s office and there not be a heartbeat.
“Great. Now you look scared too.”
“I am,” I say honestly, and her mouth drops open at my confession. “But I also know we don’t have a thing to worry about. We’re going to go in there and hear our baby’s heartbeat, and everything is going to be just fine.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I just do. And if I’m wrong, I’ll let you hit me again. I know how much you love doing that.”
“Ugh,” she groans. “I can’t believe I’m having a baby with you.”
“Well, it’s happening, so believe it, darlin’.” I wink at her, and she rolls her eyes, but I see the smile playing on her lips. “Now come on, let’s get inside before we’re really late.”
I push my door open but stop when I hear my name on her lips.
“Hey, Cameron?”
“Hmm?” I look back over at her.
She’s peering up at me with unsure eyes.
She doesn’t say anything for a long moment, just stares at me.
Then finally… “I’m glad it’s you.”
I hate that my throat grows tight and my eyes burn with unshed tears. Her words are like a punch to the gut and the absolute last thing I was expecting her to say.
I clear my throat and run my tongue across my lips.
“I’m glad it’s you too, Hollis.”
Pride swells in my chest as I stare out at the group of guys on the ice.
They look good. They look ready.
We’re currently up three to one in our preseason game against Florida, and I knew the moment my skates touched the ice that this is exactly what I’ve been needing. To be out on the ice where I belong, to get my head back on straight and get immersed in the game I live for.
“Strong legs out there already,” Collin comments, eyes trained on the same thing I’m looking at.
“Attaboy, Miller!” I yell as he flies by. Coach is testing him on some new lines this season, but he’s looking good, looking sharp. “Keep this energy up and I think it’ll be a good season.”
“Spoken like a true captain,” Rhodes says. He looks left and right, making sure nobody is paying us any attention, then leans in a bit. “You, uh, tell Coach yet?”
I shake my head, looking over at the short guy with the round belly, trying to picture the man who used to be an enforcer but finding it hard to see. “Not yet.”
“You need to before the season starts.”
He’s right. I know he is.
I’m just not really looking forward to walking into Coach’s office and telling him, “Hey, remember that time I proposed to my girl because she was pregnant and we planned a wedding, and then it turned out she wasn’t pregnant and it was a whole big thing? Yeah, well, this time I knocked up a one-night stand, and she’s really knocked up this time. Oh, and, by the way, she’s due in April.”
He’s going to shit a brick.
“I will.”
“Harper said things are going well,” Collin comments out of the side of his mouth, eyes still tracking what’s happening on the ice in front of us.
“Ryan even said you’re going to appointments with her and got to hear the heartbeat yesterday,” Rhodes adds.
“I heard you cried.”
“I did not,” I lie, because I swear to fuck I’m taking to my grave that after I dropped Hollis off at her apartment, I cried on my drive home. I felt stupid for it, but I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that this is happening.
With Celine, it was different when she came to me saying she was pregnant. We’d been dating for months at that point. Sure, our relationship was still in that early honeymoon phase and there was still a lot of learning and growing to do, but we were committed to each other.
With Hollis, it’s a whole different arena we’re playing in now, and that’s what scares me the most about it.
“I heard you wept like a little baby,” Rhodes adds.
I did. “Fuck off.” I scowl at them. “Is that all you four do? Just sit around and gab about my private life?”
“It’s been the hot topic at the dinner table lately,” Collin says. “I mean, you did get my sister-in-law pregnant. She and Harper talk a lot, you know.”
“About anything good?” I’m only half-joking.
