Escaping Darkness (S.P.P Book One), page 8
“Sylvin,” Lily’s sweet voice calls.
“Yes bunny?”
“Julia knew I had this. She saw it one day when she came by room to check on me. Right after I got to S.P.P. she would stop by on occasion and on one of them, I had just had a really bad anxiety attack and I was cuddling the bear. She saw and she just smiled. What if—what if she knew it was yours?”
My eyes must bug out of my head at her words as I try to control my emotions. Clearing my throat I take my eyes of the bear and look at Lily.
“Julia would have known. She was there when my parents gave it to us. I had stolen it out of Rowes room one day during a picnic and Maddox was chasing me as I held it. Rowe, Thorn, and my parents were laughing. I think Maddox and I were five? My mom came over with Julia and my dad and decided it was time Maddox and I got to have the bear. I remember being so excited. It was like our family heirloom. Lily, if Julia saw you with this and knew you were comforted by it, I think she placed you with us for more then just similarities in our case. I really need to talk to Thorn.”
Thorn
Sitting on the couch I check my phone for the hundredth time hoping Julia or Grey would have responded to my messages. After seeing Lily in a state of panic and having a nightmare about her sister I feel lost. I need to help her and I need more information on her case to do it, but I don’t want to push her. To think that we may have possibly caused her pain, it has me wanting to break everything in this fucking house. Someone better give me fucking answers and soon.
I’m snapped out of my thoughts as Sylvin comes running into the house, his eyes wide and crazy with emotion as he stares me down.
“She has the bear Thorn. The fucking bear. She found it and she’s had it and Julia saw her with it!” He practically yells as he drags his hands through his hair.
“Sylvin, slow down. What bear?” I ask soothingly as I try to process his rant.
“Our bear Thorn. The one that mom and dad handed down to each of us. I went over there to check on her and after making sure she was okay, she went to grab it off the couch. I think she wanted to hide it, but when I noticed it I stopped her and it was our bear. She said she found it at S.P.P. on her first day there and at some point Julia saw her with it. Julia would have recognized it and to see Lily taking comfort in it? I think Julia suspected what we know is true and that Lily is our mate and placed her with us on purpose. Not just because of the similarities in our case,” He rambles out in distress. He is clearly shaken because this isn’t a normal reaction for Sylvin and now, so am I.
Julia, what the fuck did you know? It seems instead of answers I got left with more questions. We need to tell the others but right now I need to go to the gym and work off this frustration and I think Sylvin does too.
Lily
“Little muse, I’m hosting a small gallery exhibit tonight at an event space nearby, and I need you to come,” Rowe asks as he hands me a list of supplies I need to order for the studio.
My OJT period has quickly become my favorite part of the school day. Surrounded by art and in the presence of Rowe and Maddox, it’s the perfect happy place.
“Um, sure. I’d love to. What time is it?”
“8:00 p.m. tonight. Meet me at our house.”
The dress I picked out from my closet is beautiful. I bought it intending to wear it to one of my sister's dance recitals, but the day never came. Without any special occasions, it’s sat untouched. It’s a little tighter, a smidge shorter but not noticeable enough that I can’t wear it.
From the front, it's unassuming. Long black sleeves that dip on my shoulders, enough to offer a peek at my collar bones, but the beauty of the dress is the back. It’s completely open, exposing the creamy skin of my back, stopping just above my butt. The hem flirts with my knees, with a split that causes the skirt to shift when I walk. Paired with black strappy heels, I feel beautiful even with the scar on my leg exposed.
My long hair sits in a messy twist with pieces purposefully placed to frame my face. I kept my makeup simple, with a dusty pink lip and a smoky brown shadow that brings out the colors of my eyes. I barely recognize myself. It’s been so long since I’ve felt put together and beautiful.
Grabbing a long coat, I toss it over my arm with intention to put it on after I show the guys my dress. Walking to the guys' house, my heels clicking against the driveway, I knock and step back. Nibbling at my lip, nervous about their impression of me.
Thorn opens the door and takes my breath away. My robust shifter is dressed in a tight suit that shows off his sturdy frame.
“Wow,” I whisper.
“That’s my line,” he chuckles.
“You look beautiful, Lily.”
Guiding me inside, I stand in front of the stairs as he begins gathering the keys to their SUV.
“Fuck,” Sylvins voice calls out.
“Baby, you look intoxicating,” Maddox says as the twins approach me.
“So do both of you,” I breathe.
Sylvin is dressed in a pair of dress pants, a white shirt with the top three buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up, showing off his tattoos, and a pair of Converse, enhancing his bad-boy look to a new level. Besides a pair of tight red suspenders that stand out against his white shirt, Maddox matches his twin. They remind me of yin and yang. Even matching, you can see the light and darkness each carries in how they dress.
“My muse, you look radiant. All the guests will understand my inspiration,” Rowe murmurs as he presses against my back. Turning around, I wrap my arms around him, pulling back slightly to take in his all-black suit. His orange eyes seem brighter than usual against the dark ensemble, and I find myself mesmerized.
“Ready?” Thorn calls by the front door.
Holding my coat, Rowe helps me thread my arms through the sleeves before placing a hand on my lower back, escorting me out of the house behind Thorn—the twins standing behind us, hands in their pockets.
“I’m not sure I want to share her with everyone. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle everyone looking at what's ours,” Syvlin grumbles, causing Maddox to chuckle.
“That’s the lovely thing about art, little brother. We allow others to cast envious eyes on what we have created, what is ours, knowing it’s the only way they’ll ever see something so breathtaking. Then we guard it against the world where no one can touch it and damage its beauty,” Rowe responds as he helps me into the suv.
“You are a work of art, my muse,” he whispers, placing a gentle kiss against my cheek as he slides in next to me.
Rowe
When we arrive at the gallery, I pull Lily out of the expedition, placing my hand against her back to walk her inside while the others park. I wanted to see her reaction to my work without the others crowding us.
The gallery is a stark-white warehouse with concrete floors that echo the sounds of the guests talking around us as they look at my paintings that line the wall.
Lily’s gasp fills my ears as a blush spreads across her beautiful face as she takes in the theme of tonight's show. Obsession.
“Is that—”
“You,” I interrupt as I stare at each one of my paintings. There are twenty pieces on show, each ranging in size and technique, but all have one thing in common. Each one is a representation of the woman beside me.
A bunny being guarded by a wolf is the only one I didn’t paint, but it was the start of this series and deserved a place amongst the others. Humans will probably think it's a symbol of our personalities, and although they aren’t entirely wrong, we know it’s us in our most primal form, just as my mate intended.
I guide her to my favorite of the collection. It’s an oil painting of the day she painted us, a small reenactment of the painting she created housed within. Her tongue is clenched between her teeth. Her eyes narrowed in concentration. Her hair is painted messily to give the illusion it’s floating around her, caught in the breeze that carried her delicious lavender scent that night. The night she stole the last piece of my heart.
“Rowe, I don’t know what to say,” she says, facing me.
Grabbing her face, I murmur against her lips, “You inspire me,” before pressing my lips entirely against hers.
“You better not sell any of these,” Sylvin growls, pulling us out of our embrace.
“Tch, like I would ever let anyone have a piece of her.”
“We are hanging this one in the living room,” Thorn states as he takes in the picture I painted of her laughing. Her head thrown back, and her eyes closed in pure joy—a slight pink dusted across her cheeks.
“I can’t decide which I like more,” Maddox pipes in.
Smirking, I look at Maddox, “There are better ones not displayed here that I think you’ll like more.”
“Better ones?”
“Oh yes, ones I’d never allow anyone to see. My favorite is the one I painted of her wrapped around Thorn Sunday morning.”
“You, you saw that?” Lily gasps.
“Of course, little muse. I’m always watching you,” I rumble.
And I always will be.
“Let’s circle the room. I need to greet guests, and then we can leave,” I say.
Lily
“Where are we going?” I laugh as Rowe tugs me up the stairs of their house and to the back.
“My room. I need to show you something.”
As we enter his bedroom, he grabs my face and sears his lips to mine, walking us backward until my back meets the cold glass of a window.
Moaning, I nibble his lip, asking for entrance which he denies with a chuckle as he pulls away from me.
“As much as I love that sound and the idea of getting lost in you, I really did want to show you something. I just couldn’t resist tasting you first.”
Pouting, I squint at him. “What did you need to show me?”
Walking into a large closet, he begins pulling out four canvases, each one making me blush.
The first is of me and Thorn wrapped around each other in the kitchen. The second is me leaning against my car with Rowe caging me in my eyes hooded with lust. The third one shows Maddox leaning into me, whispering in my ear, a blush darkening my cheeks. The final painting is of me sitting in Sylvin’s lap, a look of reverence on his face as he stares at my profile.
I trace the frame of each painting with my finger while my eyes mist. “These are beautiful.”
“You’re easy to paint, little muse.”
Pulling him toward me, I press another kiss against his lips, sweeter than the first. A kiss that expresses all of the words that I’m not ready to say.
Lily
Feeling the need to paint after spending time with Rowe and seeing everything he’s created, I stare at the blank canvas. The fairy lights cast a yellow glow on the white canvas as the cold breeze tickles my face. Walking over to where I laid my phone on one of the dining table chairs I brought into the backyard, I cue up “Save Me” by Jelly Roll, and lose myself to the art of his song and the blank slate before me.
Everything disappears around me as I meet the canvas, stroke after stroke, as my brain conjures an image I can’t quite remember. Staring back at me is a realistic-looking image of the garden at S.P.P. Surrounded by the flower bushes, stands a faceless girl with bright red hair. Her clothes are baggy on her frame as she faces away from the viewer. I want to add features to her face, but my brain blanks when I try to figure them out.
Sighing, I pull the picture off the easel and take it to the office to dry. I rarely paint realism, and when I do, I focus on every minor detail of who or what I’m creating, so it’s disconcerting I can’t finish her. It’s like a sudden block in my creativity I haven’t felt before.
Climbing into bed, I fall asleep thinking of the faceless girl in the garden.
S.P.P. is like a fort. Large walls bracket the yard, with only one gate in that has armed guards stationed at it all hours of the day. I feel trapped inside these walls. As a shifter, I love nature. I crave to shift and run through the trees and burrow in their roots.
The closest thing we have to nature is a small garden filled with different types of flowers. It’s enough to keep my bunny content for now. Walking through flowers, I glide my hands over the velvet texture of the petals, deciding to shift and let my bunny free.
Nibbling in the grass, I enjoy the sun's warmth on my fur. Hopping to the small lake in the middle of the garden, I see a girl standing next to it, looking at two agents walking the grounds. Her hair is bright red, and baggy clothes sit on her small frame. She can’t be very old.
She turns to face my direction, and I still. She looks like Melody. It can’t be Melody, though. Melody didn’t have red hair, and she wasn’t here. She can’t be here because she was taken from me. It’s not Melody. It’s all in your head. It’s not real. Remember what the psychiatrist said. You’re forcing yourself to see her.
Her eyes, though, look like my mom's. How could she have my mom's eyes if it’s not Melody? Shaking my small head, my ears flapping with the movement, I try to expel the thoughts that will end up in me being confined to my room and medicated. It’s not her.
When I looked up again, she and the agents walking nearby were gone. Shifting back, I put my head in my hands, trying to breathe through my hysterics. It wasn’t her. She isn’t here.
Lurching up in bed, I gasp as I try to shake off the dream. Leaning up against the bed, I pull my knees toward my chest and lay my head on them. I can feel them growing wet as I cry.
“Just let me be, please,” I whisper into the quiet room, hoping that somehow speaking those words will stave off the memories that keep haunting me at night.
Haunted by the illusions of a sister that no longer walks this earth, I feel the darkness of my brain starting to creep in on me, begging to sink its claws into me and derail the happiness I’ve been feeling.
Running out of bed and out of my house in nothing but a tank top and sleep shorts, I bang on the door of the only people who can help me.
“Lily?” Maddox whispers gruffly as he rubs his eyes.
Sticking my arms out toward him as my lip trembles with the need to cry, I beg him to take me in.
“I need you. I don’t want to be alone right now.”
“Come here, baby,” he says, grabbing and pulling me inside.
Maddox
Tucking her into my bed, where she immediately passes out, I stare at my sleeping beauty, remembering the distress that lined her face moments ago.
“Is she okay?” Thorn whispers from my doorway.
Sighing, I walk over to him, pulling him into the hallway.
“Nightmare, I think. She was crying when she banged on the door. She mentioned to me before that she suffers from them. I’m just glad she came to us.”
Running his hands through his hair, his nervous tick, he turns to look at her petite form curled up in the middle of my bed.
“I don’t know how to protect her from that,” Thorn says.
“We can’t. We just have to help her heal, Thorn, and hope that with time they ease, and when she does have one, comfort her.”
“Maybe one of us should stay with her, or maybe we should just have her stay here.”
“We can talk to her about it, but let's give her a few days. She has so much on her plate already, and we still haven’t finished our conversation that will add more to it.”
He nods, understanding we can’t push her on this.
“Keep an eye on her; if she needs anything, wake us.”
When he retreats, I walk back into my room, curling my body around hers and pulling her close. I can’t protect her from her mind, but I can offer her this.
I’ll make sure she doesn’t have to go through this alone. All of us will.
Lily
“Baby, you have to wake up so we can get to school,” Maddox's voice pulls me out of my dreamless sleep. Groaning, I roll over and throw one of his pillows over my face.
“No!”
I feel the blankets yanked off of my body with a chuckle.
“Yes, you need to get up, or we’ll be late, and Sylvin will be pissed off the rest of the day.”
“He’s right, little bunny, I don’t like being late.”
“Can’t move. So tired. Who cares about school?” I mumble against the mattress.
“Bunny, get up!”
“Lily’s not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEEEEEP.”
“I’m going to let you deal with her,” Maddox snickers.
A rough hand traces up the back of my leg, stopping at the middle of my calf. I let out a screech as I’m yanked to the end of the bed, my hands reaching out to grab air.
“Up!” Sylvin demands.
“Fine, I’m getting up! I’ll go get dressed if you guys just want to meet me back at my place.”
Proud of himself, Sylvin gives me a nod before walking out of his brother's room. I have no idea where Maddox went as his twin was manhandling me. Traitor.
Walking downstairs, I see the traitor standing next to Rowe with a coffee cup in his hands. He offers me a bright smile like he didn’t just abandon me. Narrowing my eyes at him, I snatch his coffee cup out of his hands.
“Mine,” I grumble, walking out the front door with it. His laugh follows me.
“Would one of you want to shift with me?” I ask the twins as we pull up to my house after school.
“You want to shift together?” Maddox asks, shocked.
“Well, I-I’ve already shifted with Sylvin, and my bunny enjoyed it, and I haven’t let her outside in a while, so I was thinking we could shift and run through the woods together. I’ve rarely gotten to shift outside, and my bunny likes snow.”
“Let’s go then, little bunny. We could use a run.”
