Escaping Darkness (S.P.P Book One), page 2
Walking her to the front door the others just exited through, she shows me how the alarm system works, before handing me a small piece of paper with four numbers written on it.
“This is the alarm code. Memorize it and burn it. Do you need anything else before I go, Lily?”
“Um, no, I don’t think so. Not right now, but I can call you, right? If something comes up?”
She offers me a small smile, her eyes drifting to the scar on my face. “Of course, Lily. Call me whenever you need anything or even if you just need to talk to someone familiar. I’m always going to be here for you. Here are the keys to the house and the car we drove up in. I’ll be taking the van back with the others. You aren’t alone, Lily.”
“Thank you for everything so far, Julia.”
I try not to tense as she hugs me. She then exits through the door, shutting it behind her. I set the alarm and take a moment to study my surroundings. This house is beautiful, but without anyone I care about living with me, it will never feel like a home. Being alone is daunting. I’ve had to grow up faster than any person would ever anticipate and I feel the toll it’s taken on my mind and soul.
Needing a break from reality and the thoughts plaguing me. Running to my room I dig through one of the boxes and grab out a small stuffed bear. I found this in my room the day I went to S.P.P. and I’ve held onto ever since. The scents that clung to the bear the day I found it still lightly coating it and calming me. Walking into the living room I hold it up to my face, inhaling the scent of rain, cedar, pine, and smoke. It may be weird to have found comfort in something that belonged to someone else but it’s like the scents were made to comfort me and I haven’t been able to let go of that. I remember Julia seeing it in my arms one day when she came to check on me and instead of judging a teenager clingy to a worn bear she just offered me a slight smile. It was almost reassuring.
Shifting into my rabbit form, I pull the bear with me and burrow under the couch where life can be simpler. I don’t feel as much anxiety in this form. It’s ironic since achieving my shifter form was the start of the worst day of my life, but in this form, things work differently. My brain thinks differently, so even though I’ll never love being a rabbit shifter after the day everything was stolen from me, I will take the momentary peace that it offers me.
Thorn
I watch as Julia’s car pulls out of the neighbors house as my phone vibrates, her name flashing across the screen. At twenty-six I’ve prided myself on establishing a home for my three brothers where we can be safe and live the lives we once thought may be stolen from us. When we lost our parents, I thought we’d lose each other and ourselves. Broken souls falling into the grief that threatened to smother us. Julia changed that. She was close to our parents. My dad, the director of S.P.P. at the time, had hand picked her to be his assistant and it wasn’t before long she became family. The funny aunt who became the rock in mine and my brothers lives. She even helped us secure the house that has become our home. Our safe place. We lost touch after leaving S.P.P.—something that hurt more than I’d admit but she said it was to protect us. Whatever that means, but when she called asking for a favor I couldn’t refuse.
My phone stops vibrating and starts up again, Julia’s name still flashing at me begging to be answered. Running a hand down my face I answer the call.
“Hey Julia, what's up? I saw you leave the neighbors house.”
“Thorn, I have dropped Lily off. I need you to swing by tomorrow morning. She seemed shaken when I left but I didn’t want to push her. This is all a huge adjustment for her as it would be for anyone.”
“Yeah, I’ll drop by in the morning and introduce myself. Julia, why did you pick us for this case? You know we haven’t done any active work for S.P.P. in years,” I sigh into the phone. It’s not that I don’t want to help. I empathize with anyone going through what Lily is, but I don’t like sudden change. It’s never worked out well for my family.
Julia sighs into the receiver. “Thorn, there are things I want to tell you. Things that I wish I could tell you, but right now, until I have more information I can’t. It’s not safe and I need you to trust me. I picked you for a reason—one I can’t explain.”
I pull the phone away from my ear and eye it skeptically. What isn’t safe? What information could she have that she doesn’t want to share?
“Julia, what are you talking about? I did look at her file. It’s practically blank. If there is something that would put my brothers in danger I need to know. Same with Lily or I can’t do my fucking job,” I growl out my patience thinning.
“Thorn, I know you’re frustrated with me and have been for a while and it breaks my heart. It really does, you know I love you boys. So much. I wish—I wish I could have done more but all I can offer you is an apology. I won’t give you information that would put any of you at risk and I’m standing by that. I-I’m looking into some things that have become red flags with Grey. When I know more or have proof of what I need, I will reach out or I will send Grey. Until then, stay safe.”
Before I can respond the call ends leaving me staring at my phone with a frown. What the fuck was that? And why the hell is Grey getting involved. I squeeze the bridge of my nose trying to fight down my annoyance at all the unanswered questions Julia has left me with. All I know now is that I need to talk to my brothers—and soon. We may have bitten off more than expected with this case.
Lily
“We need to find her!”
“I know, Gabriel, but there’s so much blood I’m having trouble picking up her scent. Why do you think they chose this family as their next victim? It doesn’t make sense. This doesn’t match up with their pattern.”
Voices reach my ears, pulling me back to consciousness. Everything hurts. I can feel blood stiffening the fur on my face and legs as it dries and congeals on the ground around me.
Is all of that my blood? There’s so much of it. Alex. My parents. Melody. It’s their blood. They killed them. They should have killed me too. I can’t live without my family.
My breathing feels labored as panic rolls through my tiny body. It shouldn’t be this hard to breathe. Why did they do this? I didn’t see anything. I told them. We told them. We just wanted to be their friends.
“Julia over here!” a man yells as he drops to the floor and stares at my hiding form underneath the couch. I try to move, but my back leg isn't working, and trying to move sends a searing pain through my body.
“It's okay, Lily. It's okay. My name is Gabriel, and I’m the director of the Shifters Protection Program. We need to get you out of here.”
S.P.P. Why does that sound familiar? How did he know to come here?
He stares at me. His dark brown gaze feels ominous as it looks over my form with an emptiness I wouldn’t expect of someone trying to save me.
“Julia! Come here. She won’t come out for me.”
A tall brunette leans down to look me over, offering me a small smile. “Hello, Lily. I’m Julia. We’re going to help you.”
Waking up in my rabbit form is always disorienting. As I emerge from my dream, I feel like I’m back in that moment as I lay shifted underneath my new couch. The day I was taken to S.P.P. still has me questioning many things about the agency. I was treated well at the facility, but I don’t trust them. Maybe I’m bitter, but it still seems unusual that they knew to come to my house. How did they know there had been an attack? And Gabriel. He unnerves me. His gaze was almost lifeless that night. Dispassionate. It felt like he was looking right through me, and on the few times I ran into him at the facility, it was the same. If eyes are a window into someone's soul, his is dead.
Shifting back, I stretch my body, letting out a satisfied groan as my joints pop with the stretch. Checking the time on the phone, Julia left me, I see it's 5:00 a.m. I need to go grocery shopping, but it's probably too early. Making my way upstairs, I decide on a hot shower to wash away the remnants of my sleep.
Avoiding the mirror, I turn on the shower's hot water and strip down before jumping in. Sighing, I take a moment to enjoy how the hot water feels against my skin. The showers at the S.P.P. facility ran slightly warm on a good day. As the water runs cold, I rush to wash my long silver hair and petite form. A knock at the door has my eyes snapping open. Who would be at my house this early in the morning?
Running out of the shower with only a small towel, I dig through the boxes in the bedroom across the hall, tossing on a hoodie and leggings.
Ding Dong.
I roll my eyes at the impatient guest as I sprint downstairs. Through the peephole, I can just barely make out a tall male. His hair is dark and messy like his fingers have been running through it, as if he’s stressed even though the day has just begun. He must be one of the shifters Julia mentioned.
“I can hear you behind the door Lily.”
Oh fuck. I hate shifter hearing sometimes. As a kid, I could never sneak around without my parents catching me, and it seems I won’t be sneaking past this guy either.
“Who—who are you?”
The man presses a familiar S.P.P. badge against the peephole. “My name is Thorn. Julia should have mentioned me?”
Biting my lip nervously, I turn off the alarm and crack the door. “She did, but she didn’t offer me a description to tie the name to a particular person.”
He nods his head sharply in frustration. “I just came to introduce myself and see if you needed anything before I went to work. I also cleaned off your driveway real quick. I wasn’t sure if you were used to snow, so I didn’t want you to be trapped.”
“Oh, thank you. Um, no. I don’t need anything. I was just going to head to the store soon for groceries.”
“Okay. Take your phone and text me when you are at the store, leaving, and when you get back. If you need anything, I can send one of my brothers over, or you have their numbers from Julia.”
“Okay, I can do that. Um, thank you,” I rush as I close the door. Squeezing my eyes shut, I take deep breaths, trying to stave off the panic the giant wolf shifter caused. My glimpse of him through the crack was brief, but he was larger than I expected, and I couldn’t help the intimidation he imposed with his form. I listen as his boots stomp off the porch before I walk away from the door to head upstairs and change for the store.
I need to get used to his presence because it will be a constant in my life for the foreseeable future, but I’m not ready. I feel like I’ve been thrown into the deep end of a pool with no swimming lessons or life vest. I’m trying to hold my head above the water, but it's becoming harder not to drown.
Dressing in my favorite jeans, an oversized black sweater, a jacket, and boots, I grab my purse, verifying it has my pepper spray and small knife inside. I quickly braid my long, wet silver hair before throwing on a beanie to cover my ears from the cold.
Glancing at my neighbor's house, I look for any signs of the other brothers Julia mentioned. I met Thorn already, which leaves Maddox, Sylvin, and Rowe based on the contacts on my phone. The house, however, shows no signs of life. Considering it’s only six thirty in the morning, I can’t be too surprised that the others are probably sleeping in on a Saturday morning.
Returning home from my shopping trip, I could see that the neighborhood had come to life in the few short hours I was gone. Kids are playing in the front yard. Adults are shoveling snow. It was all so normal, and that made my heart hurt. I’d never have that again. I would never throw snowballs at my siblings or sit on the porch as my dad cleaned off the cars before taking us to breakfast. They were gone.
Turning off the car in my driveway, I sit silently as I watch the snow fall on the windshield. Grief is a powerful emotion. It feels like it’s never-ending, and just when I think I’m finally working through it, something so simple triggers me all over again. How can I get through life when I can’t even watch someone shovel snow without wanting to cry?
This isn’t how I pictured life at eighteen. I thought I'd be just starting to live on my own and enjoy all the freedoms that come with that, like finding a mate, trying out different classes in college, and going out with friends. Such trivial things seemed like the biggest deal when I was sixteen. Now I’d give all of it up if it would bring them back or find me the answers I need about what happened that night. Nothing makes sense about it, which makes grieving them so much more complicated because until I get the answers to my questions, I’ll never have closure.
“Fuck. I’m a mess. I need to get it together.” I whisper as tears track down my face. It was easier said than done, though. Pulling up my jacket and sweater sleeve, I stare at the small scars crisscrossing from my left wrist to my elbow—a reminder of how low I used to be. I may still be a mess, but I have gotten stronger and will keep trying. I have to because as much as Julia's words upset me, she wasn’t wrong. My family would want me to be happy.
Getting out of the car, I head inside and turn the alarm off before heading back to the car for my groceries.
“Do you need any help with all of that?” A voice startles me as I strategically hang groceries from my arm to minimize the trips I have to make inside. Jumping from the sudden voice, I stumble and fall into the snow beneath me, unable to right myself with the weight of the groceries.
“Dude, you scared her,” a second voice chuckles.
Before I can respond to either of them, two guys crouch before me, and my jaw drops open. They’re identical. Both have wavy brown hair that's longer on top and shaved at the sides, bringing attention to their high cheekbones and strong nose. Unnaturally bright green eyes stare back at me with something I don’t quite understand residing in them. The only difference is that one is covered in tattoos with a lip and nose piercing while the other isn’t marked by anything except a small tear in his ear that’s almost hidden by the curls of his hair. They’re both dangerously beautiful.
“Can I help you up?” The one without the tattoos asks while thrusting his hand forward. I blink at it, unsure if I should take it. Wolves. Only wolves have such piercing eyes as they do—the eyes of a predator with a beauty that lulls you into safety before they pounce. These must be two of Thorn’s brothers.
“No, thank you,” I whisper as I pull myself up and wrap my arms around me in a false sense of comfort. I cast my gaze down to my feet, trying to hide the emotions that I’m sure are obvious across my face. Fear. Attraction. Curiosity. I also can’t help but feel self-conscious about the scar that runs across my face. They’re beautiful, and I’m scarred on the inside and the outside.
The scar starts above the outer edge of my left eyebrow and cuts a harsh line down my face, ending at the middle of my cheek. I’m lucky I didn’t lose my eye from the injury.
“I’m Maddox,” the one without tattoos states before pointing the finger at his edgier clone, “and this is Sylvin.”
“Lily,” I respond in a small whisper.
“We won’t hurt you. You met our brother Thorn earlier today. He wanted us to see if you were home because you didn’t text him.” I can’t help but hear the accusation and frustration in Sylvin’s voice.
Looking at Sylvin, I offer a slight frown. “I didn’t think he was serious. It was just the grocery store, and I took precautions.”
He glares at me harshly. “Don’t be stupid, Lily. Of course, it’s important. You are in S.P.P. for a reason. Even if there is no trace of the shifters involved in your family's case. You still need to be careful. We can’t help you if you don’t listen to us.”
“Sylvin, relax,” Maddox states as he picks up my dropped groceries.
“No, this is serious. You might have hesitations, but your safety in this situation isn’t a joke. Don’t make it one.”
“I-I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have texted him as he asked. I’ll make sure to do that next time,” I offer, trying to appease the pissed-off twin before me.
He offers me a sharp nod before walking away, leaving his brother behind.
“I didn’t mean to upset him.”
Maddox sighs. “Sylvin is complicated. He has his demons, and you not taking the safety precautions seriously probably triggered them. He didn’t handle it correctly, but he isn’t wrong, Lily. It’s important you listen to us when it comes to certain things.”
Exhaling a slow breath I reply, “I know. I’m sorry. This situation is new to me, and I just—I just wanted to do something normal and escape from all of this for a few minutes. I didn’t mean to upset anyone.”
“It's new to us too. We aren't agents like Thorn and Rowe, but we know what S.P.P. is like, Lily. It’s going to be a learning process, and if we ask something of you that you don’t like, then tell us. We can talk about it, but ignoring us isn’t going to work.”
“I understand. I’ll try, and I am sorry.”
Maddox offers me a blinding smile that has me returning a small one of my own.
“Let me take these inside for you,” he offers.
“Thank you.”
Walking through my house confidently like he’s been here a thousand times, he sets my groceries on the kitchen counter.
“I’m going to head back home to check on Sylvin. If you need anything, just come next door or text me, okay?”
Maddox steps toward me like he’s going to hug me, causing me to flinch. Guilt hits me immediately. He’s been overly sweet, but I still can’t shake my innate fear of wolves. I didn’t run the last time I faced one like I should have. I won’t allow another to get so close to me. Not yet.
Offering me a small smile, Maddox turns to leave. “I’ll see you around, Lily. Lock the door and set the alarm.”
Maddox
“You didn’t have to talk to her like that, you know,” I say to my twin as I enter the house and see him brooding on the couch.
“Yes, I did, and you know why.”
Running my hands through my hair, I let out a deep sigh. “I don’t think she even realizes, Sylvin.”
