The Complete Malazan Book of the Fallen, page 765
And perhaps that was what was different about him, she realized. Liberation. But then, has he not already begun collecting more? She cinched the strap then half turned to regard the giant warrior, who was using sand to scrub the blackened pan on which she’d cooked knee-root, challenging the pernicious crust with a belligerent scowl. No, she could sense nothing – not as drawn in as she’d made herself. Thus, sensing nothing didn’t mean anything, did it? Perhaps he had grown at ease with those victims dragged behind him everywhere he went.
A man like that should not smile. Should never smile, or laugh. He should be haunted.
But he was too damned arrogant to suffer haunting, a detail that invariably irritated her, even as she was drawn to it (and was that not irritating in itself?).
‘You chew on him,’ said Traveller, who had come unseen to her side and now spoke quietly, ‘as a jackal does an antler. Not out of hunger so much as habit. He is not as complicated as you think, Samar Dev.’
‘Oh yes he is. More so, in fact.’
The man grimaced as he set about saddling his own horse. ‘A child dragged into the adult world, but no strength was lost. No weakening of purpose. He remains young enough,’ Traveller said, ‘to still be certain. Of his vision, of his beliefs, of the way he thinks the world works.’
‘Oh, so precisely when will the world get round to kicking him good and hard between the legs?’
‘For some, it never does.’
She eyed him. ‘You are saying it does no good to rail against injustice.’
‘I am saying do not expect justice, Samar Dev. Not in this world. And not in the one to come.’
‘Then what drives you so, Traveller? What forces your every step, ever closer to whatever destiny waits for you?’
He was some time in answering, although she did not deceive herself into thinking that her words had struck something vulnerable. These men here with her, they were armoured in every way. He cinched the girth straps and dropped the stirrups. ‘We have an escort, Samar Dev.’
‘We do? The vultures?’
‘Well, yes, there are those, too. Great Ravens.’
At that she squinted skyward. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, but I was speaking of another escort.’
‘Oh, then who? And why doesn’t it show itself?’
Traveller swung himself astride his horse and gathered the reins. Karsa had completed packing the camp gear and was now bridling Havok. ‘I have no answers to those questions, Samar Dev. I do not presume to know the minds of Hounds of Shadow.’
She saw Karsa Orlong glance over at that, but there was nothing revealed in his expression beyond simple curiosity.
Gods, he drives me mad!
‘Do they hunt us?’ Karsa asked.
‘No,’ Traveller replied. ‘At least, not me, nor, I imagine, our witch here.’
Karsa mounted his Jhag horse. ‘Today,’ he announced, ‘I shall not ride with you. Instead, I shall find these Hounds of Shadow, for I wish to see them for myself. And if they in turn see me alone, then they may choose to make plain their desires.’
‘Now what is the point of that?’ demanded Samar Dev.
‘I have faced Hounds before,’ he said. ‘I am happy to invite them close, so they can smell the truth of that.’
‘There is no need,’ said Traveller. ‘Karsa Orlong, the Hounds began as my escort – one in truth – granted me by Shadowthrone. They are not interested in you, I am sure of it.’
Samar Dev rounded on him. ‘Then why did you suggest otherwise?’
He met her eyes and she saw him gritting his teeth, the muscles of his jaws binding. ‘You were right, witch,’ he said, ‘you know this warrior better than I.’
Karsa snorted a laugh. ‘I will see you later.’
They watched him ride off.
Samar Dev wanted to spit – the tea had left her mouth dry, bitter. ‘He probably will at that,’ she muttered, ‘whether the Hounds like it or not.’
Traveller simply nodded.
Skintick knew precisely the day he died. The final terrible battle waged on Drift Avalii, with four of his closest companions falling, each just beyond his reach, beyond his own life which he would have sacrificed to take their place. And into the midst of the crumbling defence, Andarist had stepped forward, making of himself a lodestone to the attacking Tiste Edur.
The death of the man whom Skintick thought of as his father remained in his mind, like a scene painted by some chronicler of abject, pathetic moments. And in that sad, regretful face, he had seen all the kin who had fallen before, killed for no cause worth thinking about – or so it seemed at the time. The grey-skinned barbarians desired the throne – perhaps they were collecting such things, as if possession conferred a right, but what did it matter? These games were stupidity, every trophy an absurd icon symbolizing precisely nothing beyond the raging ego of the players.
Honourable souls had died for this, and, once the grief washed away, what was left but this building contempt for all of it? Defending this, fighting for that, winning in one moment only to lose in the next. Raw magic blistering flesh, javelins winging to thud into bodies, everything of value spilling out on to dusty cobbles and the ribbons of grass growing exuberant between them.
The things that died in him on that day would be deemed virtues by most. Duty had revealed its lie, shattering the sanctity of loyalty and honour. They’d fought for nothing. They could have retreated, holed up at the decrepit temple entrance, and simply waited for the arrival of the humans, first the assassins and then the one named Traveller and his followers. Traveller, who murdered everyone foolish enough to step into his path. Whose arrival made Andarist’s death – and the deaths of his friends – meaningless.
How Skintick hated that man. Competence was no gift when it arrived too late.
He no longer believed in honesty either. To be told the truth was to feel the shackles snap shut on one’s ankle. Truth was delivered with the expectation that it would force a single course of action – after all, how could one honourably turn away? Truth was used as a weapon, and all one could do in defence against such an assault was to throw up a wall of lies. Lies of acceptance, capitulation. Lies to oneself, too. That things mattered. That ideas had currency and symbols deserved the servitude of courageous fools. And that it all had meaning.
Nor was he a believer in courage. People relied on the bravery of others to reap whatever profits they imagined they had earned or deserved, but the blood spilled was never theirs, was it? No, it was clear now to Skintick. Virtues were lauded to ensure compliance, to wrap round raw, reprehensible servitude. To proclaim the sacrifice of others – each of whom stood in place of those reaping the rewards and so were paid in suffering and pain.
So much for the majesty of patriotism.
He was having none of it, not any more, never again. And this was what made him dead now. And as with anyone for whom nothing matters, he now found much of what he saw around him profoundly amusing. Snide commentary, derisive regard and an eye for the horror of true irony, these were the things he would now pursue.
Did Anomander Rake grieve for his dead brother? For Andarist, who had stood in his place? Did he spare a thought for his wretched spawn, so many of whom were now dead? Or was he now lolling fat and dissolute on whatever mockery he called his throne, reaping all the rewards of his brother’s final sacrifice? And that of my cousins? My closest friends, who each died to defend a possession so valuable to you that it rots in an empty temple? Remind me to ask you that question when we finally meet.
Though he loved Nimander – indeed, loved them all in this pathetic band (save Clip, of course) – Skintick could not help but observe with silent hilarity the desperate expectations of this journey’s fated end. They all sought safety and, no doubt, a pat on the head for services rendered. They all wanted to be told that their sacrifices had meaning, value, were worthy of pride. And Skintick knew that he alone would be able to see the disdain veiled in the eyes of the Son of Darkness, even as he spouted all the necessary platitudes, before sending them off to their small rooms in some forgotten wing of whatever palace Rake now occupied.
And then what, my dearest kin? Shunted out on to the streets to wander in the dusk, as the presence of others slowly prises our band apart, until all we once were becomes memories thick with dust, barely worthy of the occasional reminiscence, some annual gathering in some tavern with a leaking roof, where we will see how we each have sagged with the years, and we’ll get drunk swapping tales we all know by heart, even as the edges grow blunt and all the colours bleed out.
Desra lying on her back, her legs spread wide, but the numbness inside can’t be pierced that way and she probably knows but habits never die, they just wear disguises. Nenanda will polish his weapons and armour every morning – we’ll see him clanking round guarding everything and nothing, his eyes mottled with verdigris and rust. Aranatha sits in an overgrown garden, mesmerized for ten years and counting by a lone blossom beneath a tree; do we not envy the bliss in her empty eyes? Kedeviss? Well, she will chronicle our despair, our sordid demise. Rounding us up for the night in the tavern will be her one task with any meaning – at least to her – and she will silently rail at our turgid, insipid uninterest.
Nimander, ah, Nimander, what waits for you? One night, your vision will clear. One deadly, devastating night. You will see the blood on your hands, dear vicious Phaed’s blood. And that of so many others, since you were the one we victimized by proclaiming you as our leader. And on that night, my friend, you will see that it was all for naught, and you will take your own life. A tower, a window ledge and a plummet down through the dark to achieve the incumbent poetic futility.
Skintick could not find himself in that future. He did not expect to complete this journey. He was not sure he even wanted to. The same chronicler who painted past scenes would paint the future ones, too. The same damned theme, reworked with all the obsessiveness of a visionary throttling the blind.
One thing was certain. He would permit no one ever again to abuse his virtues – even those few that remained, in their dishevelled state. They were not currency, not things to be measured, weighed against gold, gems, property or power. If the bastards wanted all that, they could sweat their own sweat and bleed their own blood to get it.
Take me as a knife and I will turn in your hand. I swear it.
‘You are smiling,’ Nimander observed. ‘It pleases me to see that alive and well.’
Skintick glanced at him. The legacy of Bastion remained in the stains of old blood beneath the salt that now caked moccasins and leggings. No one had bothered cleaning their gear, so desperate was the need to leave that city. Something had changed in Nimander, however, beyond the horrors of saemankelyk and the Dying God’s altar. As if his sense of purpose had taken a fresh beating, like a new seedling trampled underfoot. How many times, Skintick wondered, could Nimander suffer that, before some fundamental poison altered his very nature? The vision he had of Nimander’s final demise was dependent upon a certain sanctity of spirit remaining, something precious and rare that would drive him to that last act of despair. If it was already dead, or twisted malign, then Nimander’s fate would become truly unknown.
Has he found ambition? Is the poison of cynicism awakening in his beleaguered soul? This could change things, Skintick realized. He might become someone I could choose to follow – yes, down that nasty path and why not? Let someone else suffer for our gains, for a change. Topple them into the dirt and see how they like the sweet reversal.
Is he hard enough to play that game?
Am I hard enough to make use of him?
They had found a horse for Clip, but retained the wagon, at least for this journey northward along the edge of the dying salt lake. Nenanda was seated once more on the raised bench, reins in one hand, switch in the other. Aranatha sat with her legs dangling off the end of the wagon, eyes on the row of broken teeth that was Bastion’s dwindling skyline, hazy and shimmering above the heat waves. Desra lounged in the wagon’s bed, dozing among the casks of water and bundles of dried goods. Kedeviss rode flank off to the right, almost thirty paces away now, her horse picking its way along the old beach with its withered driftwood.
Clip rode far ahead, emphasizing his impatience. He’d not been much interested in hearing the tale of their doings since his collapse at the village – a failing on his part (as he evidently saw the suggestion) that he refused to entertain, although this clearly left a mysterious and no doubt troubling gap in his memory. He was, if anything, even more evasive than he had been before, and more than once Skintick had caught suspicion in the warrior’s eyes when observing the rest of them. As if they had conspired to steal something from him, and had succeeded.
Skintick’s distrust of the bastard was growing. It wasn’t hard to hate Clip – absurdly easy, in fact – and such sentiments could well cloud his sense of the warrior with his endlessly spinning rings. Clip was, he now believed, one of those eager to abuse the virtues of others to achieve whatever private and entirely personal victory he sought. And if the effort left a half-dozen contemptible youths dead in his wake, what of it?
He could not but see the bloodstains they now wore; could not but have noticed the notched and nicked weapons they took files to during rest stops. Their damaged armour. And dazed and groggy as he had been upon awakening in the altar chamber, he could not have been blind to the scores of dead – the veritable slaughterhouse they had left behind. And yet still Clip saw them as barely worth his regard, beyond that malicious suspicion as it slowly flowered into paranoia, and what might that lead him to do?
To us?
Yes, one more fear to stalk me now, though I am dead.
‘We will need to find a way through those mountains,’ Nimander said, squinting ahead.
‘God’s Walk, Clip called them. An astounding fount of unexpected knowledge, our grateful friend.’
‘Grateful? Ah, I see. Well, he wasn’t there in spirit, was he?’
‘No, too busy dancing from the spider’s bite.’
‘It does little good to try describing what happened,’ Nimander said. ‘To one who remains closed, words are thinner than webs, easily swept aside.’
‘We should have lied.’
Nimander looked over, brows lifting.
Skintick grinned. ‘Some wild tale of godly possession and insane fanatics eager to splash the world with their own blood. Us stumbling on to a path to paradise only to find we’re not welcome. Double-crossing a simpleton god who misunderstood the notion of puppets – that they be made of followers, not himself. A tale of poisoned wine that was blood that was wine that was blood. Oh, and let’s not forget our glorious slaughter, that improbable collection of lucky swings and pokes and the infernal bad luck of our attackers. And then—’
‘Enough, Skin, please.’
‘Why did we bother, Nimander? Bother saving him?’
Nimander’s eyes remained on the distant mountains. ‘Aranatha says he is needed. Necessary.’
‘For what? And what would she know about it anyway?’
‘I wish I could answer those questions, Skin.’
‘I feel as if I am drowning in blood.’
Nimander nodded. ‘Yes. I feel the same. I think we all do.’
‘I don’t think Anomander Rake has it in him to throw us a rope.’
‘Probably not.’
This admission, so wise, shook Skintick. His fear was accurate – their leader had changed. Does he even now see clearly? Yet, if that is so, where is his despair? I do not understand—
‘It feels like,’ Nimander said, ‘dying inside. That’s what it feels like.’
‘Don’t say that, brother. Don’t.’
‘Why not?’
Only one of us can feel that way. Only one. I got there first, damn you! It’s mine! Abruptly, he barked a laugh. ‘No reason, in truth. No reason at all.’
‘You are acting strangely, Skin, did you know that?’
He shrugged. ‘We need to wash this blood off, Nimander.’
They rode on across the bleached salt flat. The day grew hotter.
Directly beneath the floor of the terondai, where blazed the black sun, a vast chamber had been carved out of the bedrock. When Anomander Rake, Lord of Black Coral and Son of Darkness, wearied of the view from the keep’s tower and other high vantage points, he descended into this womb in the rock, where darkness remained absolute.
Such moments were rare, and even rarer that the Lord should summon Endest Silann to meet him in the subterranean cavern. His legs still stiff from the long trek back to the city, the castellan made his way down the steep, winding stairs, until at last he reached the base. Enormous doors sealed the cave, scaled in beaten silver in patterns suggesting the skin of dragons. Tarnished black, barring the gleam of the scales’ edges, the barrier was barely visible to Endest Silann’s failing eyes, and when he reached for the heavy latch he was forced to grope for a moment before his hand settled on the silver bar.
Cold air gusted around him as he pulled one of the doors open. A smell of raw stone, acrid and damp, the sound of trickling water. He saw his Lord standing near the centre, where an obelisk rose like a stalagmite from the floor. This basalt edifice was carved square at the base, tapering to an apex at twice the height of a Tiste Andii. On the side facing Rake there was an indent, moulded to match the sword he carried on his back.
‘It is not often,’ said Anomander as Endest approached, ‘that I feel the need to ease the burden of Dragnipur.’
‘Sire.’
He watched as Anomander unsheathed the dread sword and set it into the indentation. At once the obelisk began sweating, thick, glistening beads studding the smoothed surface, then racing down the sides. Something like thunder groaned through the stone underfoot.
Endest Silann sighed, leaned on his walking stick. ‘The stone, Lord, cannot long withstand that burden.’ Yet you can, and this so few understand, so few comprehend at all.
