Nursing the Flame, page 6
When he pulled up outside her apartment, she reached for the door handle, but he caught her arm.
Was he going to apologize? If so, she wasn’t ready to accept it yet. Wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready.
“You should know, I’m also seeing someone else, and I think it’s pretty serious.”
Her stomach twisted, and nausea rose. The hits kept coming.
How had she forgotten Reggie had literally been on a date before they’d had their scorching make-out session?
“Well, that’s sweet.” She didn’t even try to fake a smile. “Maybe you should give her a call and ask her to take care of that hard-on for you.”
She climbed out, slammed the door, and fled.
Chapter Seven
The next day was awkward as hell.
Which was exactly how Reggie figured it would be.
If they weren’t out on a call, Amber completely avoided him. Never said a word that wasn’t related to the fire they were fighting or the people they were treating.
She hated him right now. And he couldn’t blame her. He hated himself.
Not only had he been crude in his wording, but he’d also lied to her. About things getting serious with Nicole and that atrocious comment.
That tits and ass line had been a way to shove Amber away emotionally. He’d felt a little sick while throwing the words at her.
Maybe some men were like that—turned on by any hot body that threw herself at them—but that wasn’t him.
He figured Amber knew him so well that she would’ve called his bluff. She should’ve, damn it. But the way she’d gone pale and quiet meant it had worked exactly as he’d intended it to.
Kissing her last night had probably been the biggest mistake of his life. If there was a bigger one, it was hard to remember.
While it was a mistake, it was one that was impossible to regret. When he’d told her he regretted it, it had been a total lie. Another one.
Because now he knew what kissing her felt like.
He could barely go a few minutes without remembering the softness of her lips beneath his. The sweet, intoxicating taste of her when he’d slipped his tongue into her mouth. Then the hungry way she’d stroked her tongue against his. Sucked.
And then when he’d pulled away and really looked at her . . . dear god. With her soft wrists pinned above her head in his hand, her mouth swollen, those hard nipples poking through her dress, and the wet core of her grinding against his knee.
He’d wanted to tug down the fabric and suck her breasts into his mouth. To feel them on his tongue and replace his knee with his fingers. Slip his hand into her panties and hear those soft moans grow deeper.
Instead, he’d let her go and crushed any chance of them ever having a sexual relationship.
It was for the best.
Even if he couldn’t walk around the station today without knowing the exact curves of her body beneath the androgynous station outfit.
At least he’d had a taste of that forbidden fruit. And it was likely that taste would sustain him until he found someone else who tempted him.
Nicole probably wasn’t the one, but he would keep trying for a while just for the distraction from Amber alone.
Everyone was scattered around the beanery, drinking water or snacking—still coming down from the adrenaline rush of the three-alarm fire on the waterfront that they’d just helped fight with other departments.
A quick glance over at Amber showed her ponytail was still wet from the shower she’d taken as part of the decontamination process when returning from the fire.
Don’t think about what she must have looked like in the shower.
“Hey, all. Hear you guys just got back from an intense fire?” Blake walked in, cheerful and smiling. “You all still buzzing?”
He glanced around, his gaze shifting between Reggie and Amber. His smile fell.
“What’s going on with you two? Nobody got hurt, but you’re acting like somebody died or something.”
“Nothing. We’re all just catching our breath.” Amber shrugged and adjusted her blond ponytail. The motion tightened her button-down black station uniform across the curves of her breasts.
His attention caught. More than it should have, and he kicked himself.
Something else caught his eye. The faint red mark on her neck. Exactly where his mouth had been.
His blood stirred at the memory of being the one to have put it there.
“Yeah?” Blake didn’t look convinced.
“Everything’s fine.” She gave him a pointed look and moved past them, clearly choosing to not engage in that conversation anymore. “I’ll be down washing the truck.”
A few more of the guys followed her out, leaving just Reggie and Blake in the kitchen.
“Something happened between you two.” It wasn’t a question.
Guilt had Reggie’s gut clenching and he just shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, Blake.”
“Well, I am going to worry about it because the entire dynamic of this place is off now. You both are total downers and it’s been depressing all day.” Blake stepped closer. “What happened? Friend to friend here. You can tell me.”
The urge to talk about it with someone had been weighing heavily on him, but Reggie still hesitated.
“I’ve been there, man,” Blake said quietly. “Wanting someone you probably shouldn’t get involved with. I know what it’s like.”
“Yours was different.” The words finally escaped, terse with frustration. “Kristen wasn’t one of the guys. You didn’t have an existing friendship between you two that you could fuck up. And you sure as hell didn’t have to see each other every day at work.”
“I know. It was different. But the stakes were still high. When I got involved with Kristen, I knew there was a good chance I’d lose her brother, James, as my best friend if things didn’t work out,” Blake admitted. “And before Kristen, I wasn’t the commitment type. I had enough emotional baggage to fill a freight plane. So the odds of us working out were slim.”
“But you still took that risk. And it did work out.”
“I fell in love with Kristen. I took a risk, and fortunately for us, it paid off.”
Reggie shook his head, envisioning Amber hating him more than she did at this moment. Whatever was going on in her head now, it would pass. She’d get over it. Probably even be thankful later that he didn’t move in on her.
Right now, it was just the sting of rejection. Which was still just as raw for him too. Emotionally pushing her away had been brutal.
“You have to ask yourself if it’s worth it. Risking shaking up your career and the friendship you have with her now, just to scratch an itch.”
“What if it’s more than an itch for us?”
“Amber’s young. What, twenty-three?”
Reggie nodded.
“You just hit thirty-five and have marriage and kids on your mind—no, don’t deny it. You’ve dropped enough comments over the years, and I see the way you look at the guys with families when we have family events. And you’ll be a great dad. I don’t know anyone better with kids than you.”
A thought hit him. “Is that why you guys let me handle the preschool tours?”
Blake clapped and pointed at him with both forefingers. “Yes. Exactly why. The little kids love you, Reg.”
That had him smiling. Blake wasn’t wrong. Being a dad sounded almost more amazing than being a firefighter.
“So while you’re ready for something serious, Amber’s newly into her firefighting career. Do you really think she’s looking for the marriage and kids thing right now?”
Reggie hesitated. No way was she looking for any of that. Firefighting was her life. Blake was right.
On top of everything else, that should keep them apart—Amber was just too damn young for him.
“Maybe you should’ve been a therapist, Blake.”
“Nah, being a paramedic is my jam. Love it and wouldn’t want to do anything else.” Blake’s brows furrowed and he made a contemplative grunt. “But you know what? I do feel like I’ve been playing therapist to all the guys lately. Having talks pretty similar to this one.” He paused and tilted his head. “And sometimes I’m wrong, and it works out for them.”
“Sometimes,” Reggie repeated grimly.
“Maybe she’s worth the risk?”
Reggie slowly shook his head. “I don’t want to hurt her. To fuck up the dynamic in our group any more than I already have. To risk our careers. So, no, I’m not going to pursue her.”
Blake sighed and gave a small nod. “I get it. Are you going to be straight with her?”
“I already handled it last night.”
“So it was last night?” Blake leaned back against the kitchen island. “You were together?”
“We ran into each other in Pioneer Square.” He hesitated. “She was outside a club and I was just leaving a date with Nicole.”
“Amber’s into clubbing? Huh. Never would’ve guessed. But then, like I said, she’s young.”
“I put Nicole in a rideshare and spotted Amber across the street.” He adjusted his glasses and sighed. “The rest is a long story, but let’s just say there was a kiss that never should’ve happened.”
“There usually is,” Blake agreed somberly. “I don’t envy you, because she definitely is crushing on you. Or was.” He glanced toward the door to the kitchen where she’d recently left. “Today she kind of looked like she wants to kick you in the balls.”
“Like I said, I handled it.”
His friend paused. “I don’t want to know, do I?”
“No. You’d lose as much respect for me as I did for myself.”
“That bad?”
“Worse.”
Blake clapped him on the shoulder and sighed. “Shit. Sorry, bro.”
Fortunately, he was saved from any reply by the tone going off for an industrial fire.
Even as Reggie rushed to get his turnout gear on, Amber still lingered in his mind.
She’ll get over last night. Things will be back to normal in no time.
The more he told himself that, the more he hoped he’d finally believe it.
Chapter Eight
“You sure this is a good idea?”
Amber winced at her phone—which was on speaker as she spoke to Tara—and ran a brush through her hair again.
“It’ll be fine.”
“I mean, you’re going to be seeing Regret-it-Reggie outside of work. There’s potential for alone time.”
Amber smiled at the nickname she and Tara had started using to refer to him by. It had been a way to lighten the harsh declaration that he’d regretted the kiss.
“It’s a barbecue at Blake’s house, not an orgy. And there will be plenty of other people I know.” She tried to sound casual. “Not that I’m worried. That whole kissing thing was two months ago. It’s dead and buried in the past.”
Tara’s laugh was loud and amused. “You keep telling yourself that.”
Amber winced. Of course, her best friend knew her well enough to know when she was lying.
“Well, put it this way. Everything that happened between us hasn’t come up since that night.”
She stumbled over the memory of the moments that had changed everything. Of course, once she’d gotten into her apartment, she’d called Tara, because they had no secrets. And she’d needed her friend’s shoulder to cry on. Literally.
“And how has it been at work between you guys?”
“It’s fine.”
“Define fine?”
“We’re polite to each other.”
“You guys used to be so close I thought he was gunning for my best friend spot.”
“Nope, he can’t have it.”
Though until that night, he’d come close to tying for it.
“Well, be careful tonight.”
“Again, it’s not a dangerous situation. It’s a dinner gathering.” She brushed on some mascara. “And we’re both seeing other people now, anyway.”
The day after the kiss, she’d set herself up with a profile on a dating app. About ten swipe rights later, followed by several dates with different guys, she’d narrowed it down to one somewhat decent guy.
Tara grunted. “And how is Rob?”
“He’s good. Actually, he’s coming to the barbecue tonight. This will be our third date.”
“Ah. Well, good luck with that.”
“You don’t like him.”
“I don’t know him. But he sounds like a clingy schmuck.”
“I love that you’re always brutally honest with me.” A smile tugged at Amber’s lips. “How’s Jess? Your bartender girl?”
“She’s great. I think this time it may stick.”
“Good.” Her friend was due for a healthy relationship. “I should go. Rob is picking me up any minute now.”
“You wearing that one dress?”
“I’m never wearing that dress again. It got me nothing but trouble.” She scowled. “Besides, it’s September, and not hot enough for dresses that tiny now.”
“Okay. Well, I hope you look hot enough to make him regret walking away.”
“Oh, absolutely.” There was no question who Tara was referring to, and Amber made no attempt to pretend otherwise.
“Dead and buried, my ass,” Tara muttered, before hanging up.
Amber grimaced and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She wasn’t trying to look super sexy, but she did want to look good.
So she’d grabbed her new wide-leg jeans and paired them with a ditsy floral crop top that had little hook closures in the front and puffed short sleeves.
The whole outfit was fun, flirty, and super feminine. While it wasn’t the tight bodycon dress, it also wasn’t the baggy T-shirts and jeans the guys were used to seeing her in.
But it was who she was, and she was done trying to fit in as one of the guys when they spent time outside of work together.
Not that they’d done much of that lately. The last time had been the poker party two months ago. She hadn’t thrown one since because it had felt too weird. She’d blamed it on being busy.
This was the first time since that party that she’d be hanging out with the guys when they weren’t all on shift.
The guys had gone out, and of course, invited her. But she wasn’t ready yet. To be around them all, and to be around Reggie when she wasn’t getting paid to be.
The outfit needed something else. She pursed her lips before grabbing a choker hanging from the necklace hanger on her wall. It was hemp, with a little firefighting ax charm in the middle of it.
After fastening it, she gave a small nod. Perfect mix of who she was. A firefighter who enjoyed showing her feminine side when off duty.
“I hope Regret-it-Reggie swallows his stupid tongue when he sees me.”
A text had her phone buzzing, and she picked it up to see a message from Rob. He was down in the parking lot, waiting.
A flurry of butterflies kicked up in her belly as she made her way down.
Unfortunately, they had nothing to do with her date, and everything to do with seeing the one man she couldn’t seem to get out of her brain.
She climbed into Rob’s Porsche and winced. It seemed like everyone at the station drove trucks—herself included. So getting in a sports car felt a bit like climbing into a clown car.
“Wow, you look great.” His smile widened as he slid a glance over her.
She knew what he was thinking. That maybe tonight would be the night he’d get lucky.
But being that her feelings for him were tepid at best, she figured that was a long shot. Like the “Mariners winning the World Series” long shot—she could think that as a lifelong fan who was always hoping for the best.
She gave him directions to Blake’s house and focused on calming her nerves for the rest of the ride.
By the time they arrived, the driveway and streets around the house were full of vehicles she recognized. Including Reggie’s.
It’s okay. You’re confident. You’re looking cute. You’re more than capable of being at a party with him.
She gave herself the silent pep talk as they made their way to the front door. Blake ushered them inside, full of smiles and friendliness.
There were a lot of people from work and their significant others and some kids. It was a whirlwind of hellos and intros.
Chuck and Chad seemed super happy to see her and gave Rob an overly enthusiastic greeting too.
Discreetly, she tried to figure out where Reggie might be.
A throat cleared behind her, and her lungs locked. Holding a smile, she turned around.
He stood behind her, a faint smile on his full mouth and his narrow gaze hard to read.
She made the mistake of lowering her gaze to his chest. Her pulse began to thud and a sigh built in her throat.
The black T-shirt he wore hugged his huge biceps and pecs before loosening some over his abs.
Damn. Reggie could basically grace the cover of any firefighter calendar.
Who’s the one choking on their tongue now?
“What’s up, Amber? Good to see ya.” His voice was smooth. “I’m not sure you’ve met Nicole?”
Her stomach plunged. She’d been so busy gawking at him, she hadn’t even noticed the gorgeous redhead on his arm.
What a perfect reminder that kissing her had indeed been a mistake, and he’d hopped right back on team Nicole.
“Hi.” She forced herself to smile. Well, thankfully, she’d brought some ammunition of her own. “Nice to meet you. Everyone, this is Rob. My date for the night.”
*
Who the hell was this Rob tool?
Reggie’s jaw flexed before he ground his teeth together to hold it still.
Seriously, the guy looked like an absolute douchebag, from the overly confident smile that never went away to the pricey red Porsche he’d pulled up in.
It wasn’t that he’d been watching for her, Reggie reminded himself. He’d just been by the window and spotted them parking nearby.
And now, the way the guy had his arm wrapped around Amber and pulled against his side? It brought out something bitter and almost violent inside Reggie, something he wasn’t accustomed to.
