Nursing the Flame, page 17
Everyone was watching. But their gazes quickly shifted, and they started dispersing to get back to business as usual.
Because that’s what you did. If you let yourself grieve, it was a brief thing. And then you had to get ready for the next call to come in.
“We still on for breakfast?” Chad called out just as the shift ended.
There wasn’t any hesitation as everyone agreed to still go. Because at the end of the day, they had each other. They were a fire family who could relate to the times of pain and the moments of joy.
And right now, they needed each other more than ever.
“Hey, before you head out,” the captain called. “Lieutenant, come see me in my office really quick.”
Reggie froze and nodded. After the others had filed out, he went into the captain’s office.
“You know I think you’re one of the best damn firefighters out there, Reg.” The captain sighed and then gave Reggie a serious look. “But you have a clear conflict of interest in your involvement with Amber.”
Reggie’s stomach dropped. “You knew?”
“Pretty sure we all did,” Chuck laughed softly. “We’ve all got eyes. We just weren’t sure if it was fleeting or something deeper. And from what I saw today and what my gut is telling me, it’s deeper.”
Reggie’s jaw flexed. So that long hug hadn’t been as discreet as he’d hoped. He’d brought this on himself. He’d deal with whatever consequences came of it.
Reggie straightened, gripping his cane. “You’re right. So what happens now, Captain?”
“Lieutenant, you’re going to have to make a choice . . .”
*
By the time they arrived at Voula’s for breakfast, Amber was having second thoughts.
She was exhausted, physically and mentally. Right now, she kind of just wanted to go home, climb into bed, and pass out.
But not really. She wanted to go home with Reggie and climb into his bed. To be held by him again like he’d held her so briefly earlier.
Everyone had been hugging, so she hadn’t let herself worry about how it had looked. She’d just taken the moment to focus on what she needed. And she’d needed Reggie.
These past couple of weeks working together had been brutal. Seeing him every day, but not being able to touch him. Talk to him like they were used to talking.
Two weeks of pretending they were only friends, just like they’d been last summer. Instead of lovers, who’d called things off to keep their jobs safe.
She shook her head, trying not to obsess about it. But it was hard. Because at least by obsessing about Reggie right now, she kept her mind off the victims in the fire.
And those thoughts, if she let them, could consume her.
Amber took a sip of coffee and glanced around the long table.
While the last few hours of the shift had been heavy emotionally, the group was clearly trying to keep the topics light.
There was lots of catching up as they stuffed their faces with good food. Christmas music played in the background because they were full throttle into the season.
“How’s the dating, Reg?” Chad asked between shoveling in bites of hash browns. “You still seeing that one girl?”
Reggie’s gaze slid over to hers before moving away quickly.
They’re asking about Nicole, she reminded herself.
“Nah. Just focused on healing and all that jazz.”
The guys around him nodded and kept eating. Amber’s heart pinched a bit, and she tried to focus on her omelet.
“Excuse me while I hit up the bathroom.” Reggie rose with his cane and made his way to the back of the restaurant.
She tried not to watch him go, but it was hard not to.
He barely needed that cane, but she knew he was being abundantly cautious to make sure he healed faster.
When he disappeared around the corner to the hall where the bathrooms were, she reached for her coffee.
Her gaze met the captain’s across the table, and he gave her a faint smile. She offered a small one in return and sipped her coffee.
A second later, her phone buzzed from an incoming text.
She pulled it out from her pocket and her heart quickened, seeing the message from Reggie.
Come to my house after breakfast, angel.
Was he serious? What about all the rules? The risks?
No. Anger flared inside her.
Damn him, he couldn’t keep messing with her heart like this. She reached into her purse and tossed thirty bucks on the table.
“Here’s my share,” she muttered. “Sorry, but I need to take off, guys.”
She’d taken a few steps when Reggie stepped into her path.
“Where are you running off to, Amber?”
She pressed her lips together as frustration rushed her. “I’m going home to get some sleep.”
“Now that sounds boring. Why don’t you come sleep at my house?”
Reggie hadn’t even attempted to say that quietly and the choking noises from the guys at the table had her eyes rounding.
Shock left her frozen and speechless.
“I miss you, angel.” He reached out and took her hand, pulling her closer.
“What are you doing?” she finally croaked out.
“Making my choice.” He leaned his cane against the table and caught her hips, pulling her close. “I love you, angel. And I hate that I didn’t choose you in the first place.”
Her throat went tight with emotion and tears pricked at her eyes, even as her mind whirled about what this all meant.
Reggie could lose his job over this.
“If you don’t love me, tell me right now, and everyone here will pretend this conversation never took place.”
Right, like that would happen.
A quick glance around showed they had a captive audience that went beyond their fire family.
Her heart beat so quickly, she could practically feel it.
“Amber,” he grimaced. “You’re leaving me hanging here.”
“Of course I love you.” She reached up to cup his face, stroking the dark stubble there. “I’m a little embarrassed to say how long I’ve been in love with you, actually. Especially when you said you thought of me like a sister.”
His face lit up with pure joy before his head swooped down and his mouth covered hers.
There were cheers all around them as they rediscovered each other through a kiss for the first time in weeks.
When he lifted his head, his eyes were glittering with love and need. “I can honestly say you’re nothing like a sister to me now.”
There was laughter behind them, and she buried her face against his chest as her face warmed.
“I might have to kill you for that,” she whispered. “What happens now?”
Did he still have a job? Did she? The bubbles of happiness in her stomach began to fizzle out.
“Come home with me and I’ll explain it all,” he said softly.
She searched his eyes, looking for any hint of what their future was, but damn his poker face.
“Okay.” After a moment’s hesitation, she turned to glance back at the guys at the table. “Did you guys all know?”
“About you two?” Blake grinned. “Probably everyone but Adam here.”
“Yeah, I didn’t have a clue.” Adam seemed a little mortified as he shook his head.
She looked to the one person whose judgment mattered the most. The captain gave her a small nod and a thumbs-up sign.
What in the hell did it all mean? Were they just going to look the other way?
“I’ll explain when we get home,” Reggie murmured in her ear. “Come on.”
“Okay.” She waved to the guys. “Catch you later, guys.”
With joy fighting against the worry in her heart, she slid her hand into Reggie’s and told herself it would be okay.
*
This was perfection.
She was perfection.
Reggie stroked a hand down Amber’s naked back and was rewarded with her tremble and soft sigh.
From here on out, his relationship with Amber was his first priority.
He’d spent the last hour proving that to her. Touching and tasting every inch of her. Making up for all the time they’d been apart. Which really, in the grand scheme of things, was just over a couple of weeks.
But it’d felt like an eternity.
“As much as I wanna lay here all day and maybe do a repeat performance of all that.” She brushed a kiss against his chest. “You need to put my mind at ease and explain to me what’s going on and if there will be consequences for our relationship.”
Reggie gave a soft sigh and stroked her back again. “You know you’re the most important thing to me in my life right now? Right?”
She stiffened, before giving a soft sigh. “Likewise. And I love that you said that, but it also terrifies me. I don’t want you to have to sacrifice anything for us, Reggie.”
“I love working with you, and I love working at our station with all you guys,” he said carefully. “But the captain pulled me aside and reminded me that being in a relationship with you means you’re a conflict of interest.”
“I don’t have to be.”
He sighed at her half-hearted protest. “Angel, you know it’s true. Anytime you go out on a shift, I worry about you. When I’m healed and back out there, it would be hard as hell not to save you first if something were to happen.”
“And I have a feeling I’d do the same for you,” she admitted after a moment. “So what does this mean? Are you . . .” She hesitated. “Are you quitting? Are you asking me to?”
Shock had him sitting up. She eased up into a sitting position, letting the blanket fall around her waist. Her guarded gaze searched his.
“Hell no, you’re not going to quit,” he said tersely. “You’re a firefighter, Amber. It’s who you are. It’s your passion. And it’s a job you’re really damn good at.”
“And so are you, Reggie.”
“I know I am.”
That pulled a laugh from her. “Cocky much?”
Momentarily distracted by the movement of her naked breasts with the laugh, he reached out to stroke a nipple.
“Confident in myself and abilities. Just like you should be too. And we have every right to be. Neither one of us should give up our jobs.”
Appreciation flickered in her eyes before her lashes lowered slightly. “So let me guess. I’m getting transferred to a new station?”
Her blunt question had his heart softening. He knew without a doubt she’d do it too. Be the one to upheave her career to keep them together. There was no way he’d ever let her.
“Hell no.” He moved his hand up to cup her cheek. “I am. I’ve applied for a position as a captain at another station in the city.”
Her eyes rounded before she blinked in shock. “Really? You’d leave us?”
A tinge of grief mixed with the excitement. “Like we’ve always said, we’re a family at the station. Everyone there is the only firefighting family I’ve ever known, and part of me hates the idea of leaving. I love every one of those guys,” he admitted and then let out a soft sigh. “But I love you more, angel. And I’m going to put us first.”
“Reg—”
“You’ve worked too hard to get where you are, Amber. It’s hard being a female in this profession, and you’re nailing it. You’ve earned the respect of all the guys in that station. You’re just as good, if not better, than them.”
“Thank you. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to put me first and be the one to leave.”
“Angel, I’m going to be real honest. I’ve wanted to move up in rank for a while now, but there weren’t any openings at our station. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered looking elsewhere. I even did a bit,” he admitted, remembering when it had all changed. “But then you started at our station, and I was so drawn to you. Protective of you. And ultimately fell for you.”
She blinked and he spotted a sheen of tears in her eyes.
“So, yes, this move is something I’ve been considering for a while now. Getting serious with you just gave me the motivation to try and make it happen. Truthfully, I don’t know if I even have a chance—there are several guys gunning for this spot. But I need to at least try.”
“And what if you don’t get it? One of us will still have to leave.”
“Then it will be me.”
“They’d be foolish not to give the job to you,” she muttered. “And while I’m so excited for this career advancement possibility for you, Reg, my selfish ass is also a little devastated at the idea of you leaving—of us not working together at the same time and station.”
“I’ll make sure we work the same shift, but just at different stations. We’ll have the same days off.” He touched her cheek. “We’ll still see each other quite a bit.”
“Oh.” Her brows knit together. “That could work, I guess.”
“You’re going to want that break from me. Otherwise we’d be together twenty-four-seven. At work and at home. Literally, no breaks from each other.”
She parted her lips, and for a minute, he thought she was going to protest.
Then she nodded. “I love you, but yeah, that’s a lot.”
He laughed, then sighed as she turned her head to brush a kiss against his palm.
“I love you, Amber. But I know you’re young. So I’ll wait until you’re ready before I do anything crazy like—”
“Propose?” She lifted a brow. “I’m not so young that I don’t know what I want. And I want you. So in case that’s where you’re going, my answer would be an immediate yes, without hesitation.”
His heart swelled. God, he loved this woman.
“Well, I was actually just going to say we should move in together.”
Even in the darkness, he saw her cheeks flame in embarrassment.
“Oh, crap. I think I’ll go die of mortification now.”
“Totally messing with you.” He kissed her. “I’d marry you tomorrow if you were up for it.”
“Your mom would kill us. She’ll want a big wedding with all your relatives.”
“She will.”
“And I still kind of hate it when I imagine you not being there with me at work.”
He brushed his lips across hers again and loved the sigh she made.
Might as well hit her with it all.
He took a slow breath in.
“Can you imagine me being at home raising our kid?” he asked lightly. Then paused. “Do you even want kids?”
She hesitated. “Reggie, when that condom broke, I spent way too many hours—days, even as I waited to find out—overanalyzing everything. How I felt about the idea of being a mom. If I’d be different and more loving than my parents. And then . . . when I got my period, I was relieved.”
His gut twisted, but he nodded.
She caught his hand. “But I was also a little sad not to be pregnant with your baby, if that makes sense. I want to be a mom, and more than anything, I want to have kids with you. But definitely not right now. I don’t want to give up firefighting.”
Relief spilled through him, and he smiled. “And I would never ask you to. And with the love you’ve shown me in these past few months, I know you’d be the same with our kids. I know you’d be an amazing mom.”
Her smile warmed. “Thank you for saying that.”
“Also, just know that lots of firefighters have babies and go back to work.”
“I’ve heard that. So I can see it a few years down the line—definitely before I’m thirty, though.”
“Sounds amazing to me, angel. And my mom is itching for grandkids. I know she’ll help out watching them when we can’t.”
“Won’t this get in the way of you being a captain?”
“If I get the job, then a lot of captains have kids. And really, it’s not that long before retirement is on the horizon.”
She frowned. “Reg, you’re only thirty-five.”
“Yes, but we retire young in this field. You know that. Fifty, maybe fifty-five.” He sighed. “Recovering from this leg made me think real hard about what life would be like if I couldn’t return to firefighting.”
“Thankfully, you don’t have to worry about that.”
“I don’t,” he agreed mildly. “But I’m still thinking about the future. Firefighting isn’t forever.”
She lifted a brow. “So you’ll raise our kids?”
“Yeah.” He held her gaze. “And maybe go to work in the bakery a couple days a week while my parents hang with their grandkids.”
She was silent for a moment, then her expression warmed. “You want to work in the bakery?”
“I think I do. You were onto something at Thanksgiving when you said it was a good backup plan. It wouldn’t be until years from now, but I do love it there. I love the customers. The baking and decorating. It’s actually kind of therapeutic. The bakery has always been, and always will be, a part of who I am. My roots.”
“I think your folks would be thrilled to bits hearing you admit this.” Her smile widened, her eyes sparkling. “And I’ll be the first to admit, you are awfully impressive with the cookie decorating.”
He nibbled her bottom lip. “Angel, you haven’t even tried my cinnamon rolls.”
Before she could reply, he pushed her back onto the pillows, and she gasped.
“Enough talk,” he growled. “With the time we were apart, I still haven’t gotten enough of you. I love you so much, angel.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and parted her legs for him to settle between. “Just remember, I loved you first. And I’m not sure I’ll ever get enough of you, Reggie.”
“Amen for taking off my blinders.” And he caught her mouth in a kiss that promised forever.
Epilogue
“Where are you taking me?”
Amber clung to Reggie’s hand to keep from falling as he led her blindfolded from the car.
Off in the distance, she could hear people talking, but it quieted down the closer they got.
She drew in a deep breath, smelling the spring flowers and grass that must’ve recently been mowed. Birds chirped nearby.
A park?
“Watch your step.”
Whatever path they were on ended, and she felt grass squishing beneath her sneakers.
