Moving Forward, page 8
“Well, at least there’s that.”
“I’m really glad we’re friends, Greg.”
His expression shuttered. “Yeah. I am, too. Sorry for getting weird. I guess I had too many fries or something.”
As excuses went, that one was pretty bad. “Greg, is something going on that I’m not catching? Because I’m starting to get confused. I mean, I thought I was honest with you.”
“No, there’s nothing going on at all.” He closed his eyes for a second in a grimace. “I mean, nothing that you want to hear.”
“Are you sure about that?” She had really thought he was okay with the two of them keeping things platonic. But if he wasn’t, she needed to know. She hated surprises, and she sure didn’t want him to be upset with her.
“Yes. Positive.” He looked around the room. “What do you say about us getting out of here?”
“Are you sure you want to? These are all your good friends.”
“I’m sure. Things are going to be winding down pretty soon anyway. Look at Chip and Jackie.”
Kristen turned toward the newly engaged couple. Chip had his arms around Jackie’s waist, hers were around his neck, and they seemed to be dancing, although the music from the speakers was barely audible.
They looked completely oblivious to everyone else in the room. No, it was more than that. They looked like everyone else was ruining their evening. They didn’t need another soul.
A lump formed in her throat as she realized that Clark had never looked at her like that. Not even the night they’d announced their engagement. Clark had acted pleased, and she remembered feeling relieved because the decision had been made. But had they felt euphoric, like no one else in the room existed?
No, she was sure they had not. She’d certainly never felt like that. Not even for a moment.
Feeling blue all of a sudden, she cleared her throat. “You’re right. It is probably time for everybody to take off.”
He stood up and held out a hand. “Ready, then?”
After the conversation they’d just had, she felt awkward even holding his hand. Withdrawing hers, she stepped toward the kitchen. “Let me go help with some of the cleanup first.”
“Kristen, I was just in the kitchen. Everyone’s got a good handle on it.”
“I know, but it seems rude not to.” She smiled and took another step away. Firmly out of his reach and the temptation to grasp his hand again. “Give me twenty minutes?”
“Fine. Let’s go clean up Chip’s kitchen.”
“You don’t need to come with me. I’ll find you when I’m done.”
“I’m going with you, Kristen.”
She realized that she’d inadvertently solved the problem. She’d just firmly put him in the friend zone . . . or maybe in the she’s-not-worth-it zone?
Everything about his demeanor was different now. It was cooler. More distant. His hand was no longer resting on the small of her back—instead he was walking slightly ahead of her. Almost as if he was walking away from her.
Chapter 10
Jennifer!”
Her mother’s voice cut through the drone of the television, stopping Jen in her tracks. Turning around, she walked back into the living room. “Yes, Mom?”
“Tell me again. Who are you going to the movies with?”
Her mom sat in her dad’s old easy chair most of every day, half watching television, sometimes looking at Facebook, but mostly lost in her memories. A plastic cup of vodka and soda was her usual companion.
By nine or ten at night she’d be asleep. On better nights, she made it up to bed. On worse nights, she’d dissolve into tears before passing out on the couch.
At first, when relatives and neighbors came by, her mom tried hard to shower and put herself together. As the months passed and the rest of the world moved on, her fragile grasp on herself seemed to slip. Things got worse when Jen’s brother, Bill, had left for college.
Now her mom only went through the motions of parenting.
Focusing back on the present, Jen answered her mother’s question. “I’m going to the movies with a friend from school, Mom.”
“Who?”
“Ryan.” She folded her hands in front of her. “Don’t you remember?” Jen did her best to look innocent, though she knew she should be looking guilty. Of course she hadn’t told her mother about Ryan.
“I don’t remember you mentioning him before.” Mom leaned back on the couch and peered at her over a pair of readers. “Or have you told me all about him and I forgot?”
Her mother looked sober. She even looked like she was attempting to give Jen her undivided attention. Taken aback, Jen sat down on the couch. “I thought I mentioned him, but maybe I just meant to.” Doing her best to act like Ryan meant nothing to her, she shrugged. “Ryan’s just a guy I know. Sorry.”
Her mother continued to study her. “You went to high school with him?”
“Yes. We were in a couple of classes together.” That was a stretch, since she was pretty sure they’d been in only chemistry together. Feeling like she needed to add a bit more, Jen added, “You know how busy I was with marching band. All I ever did was talk about that.”
Mom blinked, like she was trying to remember the past year. “You were busy with the band. What did Ryan do? Was he in the band as well?”
“No. He played football.”
“Oh.” She blinked again. “How come you’re going out now?”
No way did Jen want to recount how they’d met at Werner’s Garden Center. “I don’t know. I guess we’ve been enjoying spending more time together now that we’ve graduated.”
“Is he going to college?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“Down in Pueblo. There’s a Colorado State campus down there.” When her mother continued to stare, she added, “I heard he’s thinking about walking on the football team there.”
“I see.”
Her mother didn’t “see” anything at all. But, based on the fact that Mom was still staring at her, Jen realized she’d just made a tactical error.
She’d revealed too much.
“If you know about his plans for the future, you two know each other well. Maybe better than you’re letting on?”
“Everyone knows about his plans, Mom. Ryan really likes to play football.” Even though she yearned to stand up, Jen forced herself to cross her legs and act like she was having fun. Like she was used to her mother being interested in her social life.
“Well, I think this is great. I’m glad you have plans tonight. I’ll look forward to meeting him.”
There was no way that could happen. Her mother might be coherent, but the house was dark and a mess. It practically reeked of old alcohol and disuse. “I don’t think he’s coming in, Mom.”
“Why not? Do boys not do that anymore?”
Guilt mixed with preservation in a huge knot in her chest, causing her anxiety to kick in. Before she could stop herself, she started talking fast. “Tonight is no big deal. Ryan and I are just friends, nothing more. Plus, all we’re doing is going to the movies and maybe we’ll go out with a bunch of kids for ice cream afterward. So, it’s not like we’re on a date or anything.”
“That’s what you two are going to do? Go to the movies and eat ice cream?”
“Yep.” Holding her breath, she shrugged . . . hoping Ryan would never find out that she had cribbed the description of their date from the diary of a seventh-grade girl. Her sister, Emme!
“Oh. Okay.” After a pause, the familiar, distracted expression appeared on Mom’s face again. “Have fun.”
She exhaled. “Thanks. I will.”
She wasn’t sure if her mother heard her, though, because after she’d taken a fortifying sip of her drink, she turned back around and was once again staring at the television screen.
Pleased to have finished the conversation, Jen looked down at her phone and realized that Ryan could show up within minutes.
Afraid to go all the way up to her room, she darted into the light-blue powder room near the front door. Closing the door for privacy, she inspected her reflection for the fourth or fifth time since getting ready.
She thought her hair looked okay. Being out in the sun so much at the garden center had brought out a bunch of highlights, making her usual dark-blonde bob look almost golden. She’d put on a blue sweater that brought out the color of her eyes. She knew her jeans looked good and the Tory Burch flats she was wearing were awesome.
Figuring she looked like her regular self but a little bit better, Jen grabbed her purse and peeked out the front door. She wanted to catch Ryan before he did something awful—like rang the doorbell.
Jen shivered. That would be such a huge mistake. Not only would he see the state of the living room, but her mother would either ramble on about nothing or be so oblivious to them both that Ryan would realize there was something really wrong with her mother.
And, if that happened, well, he’d probably never want to see her again. Nobody wanted to date a girl with such a messed-up homelife.
Two minutes later, Ryan pulled up in his tricked-out black Explorer. She opened the door. Though it was tempting to simply slink out, she made herself do the right thing. “Bye, Mom,” she called out in her most cheerful voice. “I’ll be home by curfew.”
“Hmm? Okay, sure.”
She closed the door, pulled out her key, and locked it. At least her mom would be safe.
She gave a little wave as she went down the stone walkway that led from the front door to the driveway. “Hi,” she said with a big smile.
He’d just gotten out of his SUV. “Hey. You didn’t have to come out. I was going to come to the door to get you.”
“I know. I thought I’d save you the trouble.”
Glancing at her front door, he said, “Your mom doesn’t want to meet me or anything? I don’t mind.”
Ryan was perfect. That’s all there was to it. “No.”
He frowned. “Really?”
Realizing that she didn’t sound very nice—and worried that he might think she was embarrassed by him—she forced herself to explain a little bit. “Sorry, that came out wrong. What I meant was that my mom’s, um, fine and all, but she’s not great around people she doesn’t know. So she’s usually okay with not meeting my dates.” She was now officially mortified. Why couldn’t she have kept her mouth closed? He hadn’t asked her about any of that.
And what was she doing talking like she had tons of dates?
His hand on the passenger door handle froze. “I just realized I probably sounded like a jerk. I know your dad died. I shouldn’t have acted like she should want to meet me.” Still looking regretful, he added, “I don’t know why I made a big deal about it.”
She knew why. Because she didn’t talk about either of her parents if she could help it. She especially didn’t talk about her mother’s descent into addiction with anyone she didn’t know well. She smiled. “It’s okay. My father died two years ago. It’s been a while.”
He relaxed. He opened her door before walking around to his side of the car. “Still, that does suck about your dad.”
As she put on her seat belt, she took in his jeans, leather Adidas, and long-sleeved North Face T-shirt. He was definitely dressed more casually than she was, but more dressed up than most kids their age. She knew he didn’t have a ton of money like her mother did, but each item was nice.
As he backed down her driveway, then pulled out onto the street, he said, “You sure live in a fancy neighborhood. All the houses are awesome.”
“Thanks.”
“Who else lives around here?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, who else from our school? I’m only asking because I don’t remember ever driving around here before.”
“Oh yeah. You used to drive around half the football team, right?” It had been a common sight, especially her senior year: Ryan and his Explorer, packed with guys.
“I just had a car and a lot of the younger guys didn’t. It helped everyone if no one was worrying about how to get a ride to practice.” He grimaced. “Coach gave us all major crap if just one guy was late. So I wasn’t being so nice, just, you know, worried about myself.”
“I didn’t know things like that happened.”
He grinned. “That’s because you weren’t subject to the wrath of Coach Holst.” He said it in a funny, scary voice.
Jen giggled and said, “Are you going to try to walk on when you’re in Pueblo?”
“I’d like to. I was a pretty good receiver. Not good enough for a big school like CU, but I might have a chance at an NCAA D2 school.”
“Do your parents care about your continuing to play?”
“Nah. All they cared about was that I got scholarships. I got some money for my grades, the science club, and being on student council. The Rotary Club came through, too.” He paused as he stopped at a light. “I like football a lot, but I realized a while back that I was never going to be big enough to get an athletic scholarship. I mainly played for fun, plus stuff like that helps on the college applications. Anyway, the scholarships, plus the money I make this summer, will be enough to get me through freshman year.”
All of which made her feel completely inept. She’d been very much a B student. Plus, when her dad died and with her mom falling apart, she hadn’t been able to do much besides just get through each day. Stop, she ordered herself. Don’t go thinking about how things would’ve been different if Dad hadn’t died. “I forgot you did so much with the science club.”
He looked embarrassed. “Don’t know why you would’ve thought about it. It’s not that interesting.”
“Didn’t you get an award or something?”
“The whole team did.”
It was pretty much a known fact that Ryan did just about everything really well. “You’re the only guy I know who doesn’t live to talk about himself,” she teased. That was the truth, too. Most guys she knew talked only about what they were interested in.
But instead of grinning, he said, “I could say the same about you. You’re like a sealed vault.”
That was news. It wasn’t all that flattering, either. “Oh, come on, what does that mean?”
“Come on, Jen. You never talk about yourself.”
“I . . . well, I guess I’ve never thought there was much to brag about.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’m serious. I was in band, that’s it. I was good, but I wasn’t great. I wasn’t a football star or anything.” She also had a lot of other things going on that she’d never wanted anyone to know about.
“Hey, it’s not like I’m saying that being private is a bad thing. It’s not.” He turned left when the light turned green. “A couple of the guys always thought you were stuck-up. When I moved here, I thought the same thing, but then I realized you were just quiet.”
“Okay.” Tucking a strand behind her ear, she looked out the window.
“Jen, I mean it. I mean, look how much time you spent with Crystal Beur. You wouldn’t have given her the time of day if you were stuck-up.”
The home ec teacher had paired them up and they’d hit it off. “Crystal is nice. She can’t help it if her family doesn’t have any money.”
“I know. All I’m saying is that when I saw the two of you together at lunch, I knew all the stuff I’d heard about you being stuck-up was wrong.”
She felt relieved, but also a little surprised. Had people actually thought she hung out with Crystal because she felt sorry for her? She liked Crystal! Then she thought of something else surprising: Ryan had noticed whom she ate lunch with.
Jen felt her cheeks heat. “Oh my gosh. I’m so glad I graduated. I couldn’t take another year of the rumor mill.”
“I felt the same way. College is going to be better.” Pulling into the parking lot of the movie theater, he said, “Are you ready to see Doomed?”
“I am. I just hope it’s not too scary.”
He chuckled. “If it is, you can grab hold of me.”
She rolled her eyes but inside, she was doing cartwheels.
“Get ready, I might do that.”
“Good.”
Getting out of his vehicle, it was all she could do not to start grinning like an idiot.
As they neared the theater entrance, she was shocked at how many people she recognized congregating in the lobby. It seemed as if half the high school was there—and every one of them was watching her walk in by Ryan’s side. If he hadn’t been so popular and she so less-than-that, Jen figured being watched wouldn’t have bothered her. But she couldn’t change the fact that they were an unlikely match.
When one of the girls looked at her like she couldn’t believe her eyes, Jen felt like staring right back. But instead, she pretended no one was looking.
“Halstead, hey!” Calder Bradberry called out.
“Hey,” Ryan said as they walked by him.
Jen didn’t know if she was glad about that or not. On one hand, she had no desire to talk to a guy who’d pretty much ignored her for the last four years.
On the other hand, she couldn’t help but wonder why Ryan wasn’t stopping. Was he really not interested in talking to Calder—or did he feel embarrassed to be seen with her?
Chapter 11
The lobby was packed and it seemed as if he knew most everyone there. Half the football team, a handful of JV and varsity cheerleaders, even most of the kids he’d been on student council with.
Not to mention the band kids, drama kids—every clique seemed to be well represented.
They were also all staring at him and Jen.
It was awkward.
Especially because Ryan could practically feel Jen tensing up beside him. He really hated that. It felt like he’d just finally gotten her to relax around him.
The sad thing was that Ryan had only himself to blame. This was their first official date and they were on display. The more he’d gotten to know Jen, the more he realized they’d lived pretty separate lives while they were in high school. He’d been on one end of the spectrum, she on the other. He’d been really social, both because it was his nature and because he’d felt the need to do everything he could to get scholarships for college.
“I’m really glad we’re friends, Greg.”
His expression shuttered. “Yeah. I am, too. Sorry for getting weird. I guess I had too many fries or something.”
As excuses went, that one was pretty bad. “Greg, is something going on that I’m not catching? Because I’m starting to get confused. I mean, I thought I was honest with you.”
“No, there’s nothing going on at all.” He closed his eyes for a second in a grimace. “I mean, nothing that you want to hear.”
“Are you sure about that?” She had really thought he was okay with the two of them keeping things platonic. But if he wasn’t, she needed to know. She hated surprises, and she sure didn’t want him to be upset with her.
“Yes. Positive.” He looked around the room. “What do you say about us getting out of here?”
“Are you sure you want to? These are all your good friends.”
“I’m sure. Things are going to be winding down pretty soon anyway. Look at Chip and Jackie.”
Kristen turned toward the newly engaged couple. Chip had his arms around Jackie’s waist, hers were around his neck, and they seemed to be dancing, although the music from the speakers was barely audible.
They looked completely oblivious to everyone else in the room. No, it was more than that. They looked like everyone else was ruining their evening. They didn’t need another soul.
A lump formed in her throat as she realized that Clark had never looked at her like that. Not even the night they’d announced their engagement. Clark had acted pleased, and she remembered feeling relieved because the decision had been made. But had they felt euphoric, like no one else in the room existed?
No, she was sure they had not. She’d certainly never felt like that. Not even for a moment.
Feeling blue all of a sudden, she cleared her throat. “You’re right. It is probably time for everybody to take off.”
He stood up and held out a hand. “Ready, then?”
After the conversation they’d just had, she felt awkward even holding his hand. Withdrawing hers, she stepped toward the kitchen. “Let me go help with some of the cleanup first.”
“Kristen, I was just in the kitchen. Everyone’s got a good handle on it.”
“I know, but it seems rude not to.” She smiled and took another step away. Firmly out of his reach and the temptation to grasp his hand again. “Give me twenty minutes?”
“Fine. Let’s go clean up Chip’s kitchen.”
“You don’t need to come with me. I’ll find you when I’m done.”
“I’m going with you, Kristen.”
She realized that she’d inadvertently solved the problem. She’d just firmly put him in the friend zone . . . or maybe in the she’s-not-worth-it zone?
Everything about his demeanor was different now. It was cooler. More distant. His hand was no longer resting on the small of her back—instead he was walking slightly ahead of her. Almost as if he was walking away from her.
Chapter 10
Jennifer!”
Her mother’s voice cut through the drone of the television, stopping Jen in her tracks. Turning around, she walked back into the living room. “Yes, Mom?”
“Tell me again. Who are you going to the movies with?”
Her mom sat in her dad’s old easy chair most of every day, half watching television, sometimes looking at Facebook, but mostly lost in her memories. A plastic cup of vodka and soda was her usual companion.
By nine or ten at night she’d be asleep. On better nights, she made it up to bed. On worse nights, she’d dissolve into tears before passing out on the couch.
At first, when relatives and neighbors came by, her mom tried hard to shower and put herself together. As the months passed and the rest of the world moved on, her fragile grasp on herself seemed to slip. Things got worse when Jen’s brother, Bill, had left for college.
Now her mom only went through the motions of parenting.
Focusing back on the present, Jen answered her mother’s question. “I’m going to the movies with a friend from school, Mom.”
“Who?”
“Ryan.” She folded her hands in front of her. “Don’t you remember?” Jen did her best to look innocent, though she knew she should be looking guilty. Of course she hadn’t told her mother about Ryan.
“I don’t remember you mentioning him before.” Mom leaned back on the couch and peered at her over a pair of readers. “Or have you told me all about him and I forgot?”
Her mother looked sober. She even looked like she was attempting to give Jen her undivided attention. Taken aback, Jen sat down on the couch. “I thought I mentioned him, but maybe I just meant to.” Doing her best to act like Ryan meant nothing to her, she shrugged. “Ryan’s just a guy I know. Sorry.”
Her mother continued to study her. “You went to high school with him?”
“Yes. We were in a couple of classes together.” That was a stretch, since she was pretty sure they’d been in only chemistry together. Feeling like she needed to add a bit more, Jen added, “You know how busy I was with marching band. All I ever did was talk about that.”
Mom blinked, like she was trying to remember the past year. “You were busy with the band. What did Ryan do? Was he in the band as well?”
“No. He played football.”
“Oh.” She blinked again. “How come you’re going out now?”
No way did Jen want to recount how they’d met at Werner’s Garden Center. “I don’t know. I guess we’ve been enjoying spending more time together now that we’ve graduated.”
“Is he going to college?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“Down in Pueblo. There’s a Colorado State campus down there.” When her mother continued to stare, she added, “I heard he’s thinking about walking on the football team there.”
“I see.”
Her mother didn’t “see” anything at all. But, based on the fact that Mom was still staring at her, Jen realized she’d just made a tactical error.
She’d revealed too much.
“If you know about his plans for the future, you two know each other well. Maybe better than you’re letting on?”
“Everyone knows about his plans, Mom. Ryan really likes to play football.” Even though she yearned to stand up, Jen forced herself to cross her legs and act like she was having fun. Like she was used to her mother being interested in her social life.
“Well, I think this is great. I’m glad you have plans tonight. I’ll look forward to meeting him.”
There was no way that could happen. Her mother might be coherent, but the house was dark and a mess. It practically reeked of old alcohol and disuse. “I don’t think he’s coming in, Mom.”
“Why not? Do boys not do that anymore?”
Guilt mixed with preservation in a huge knot in her chest, causing her anxiety to kick in. Before she could stop herself, she started talking fast. “Tonight is no big deal. Ryan and I are just friends, nothing more. Plus, all we’re doing is going to the movies and maybe we’ll go out with a bunch of kids for ice cream afterward. So, it’s not like we’re on a date or anything.”
“That’s what you two are going to do? Go to the movies and eat ice cream?”
“Yep.” Holding her breath, she shrugged . . . hoping Ryan would never find out that she had cribbed the description of their date from the diary of a seventh-grade girl. Her sister, Emme!
“Oh. Okay.” After a pause, the familiar, distracted expression appeared on Mom’s face again. “Have fun.”
She exhaled. “Thanks. I will.”
She wasn’t sure if her mother heard her, though, because after she’d taken a fortifying sip of her drink, she turned back around and was once again staring at the television screen.
Pleased to have finished the conversation, Jen looked down at her phone and realized that Ryan could show up within minutes.
Afraid to go all the way up to her room, she darted into the light-blue powder room near the front door. Closing the door for privacy, she inspected her reflection for the fourth or fifth time since getting ready.
She thought her hair looked okay. Being out in the sun so much at the garden center had brought out a bunch of highlights, making her usual dark-blonde bob look almost golden. She’d put on a blue sweater that brought out the color of her eyes. She knew her jeans looked good and the Tory Burch flats she was wearing were awesome.
Figuring she looked like her regular self but a little bit better, Jen grabbed her purse and peeked out the front door. She wanted to catch Ryan before he did something awful—like rang the doorbell.
Jen shivered. That would be such a huge mistake. Not only would he see the state of the living room, but her mother would either ramble on about nothing or be so oblivious to them both that Ryan would realize there was something really wrong with her mother.
And, if that happened, well, he’d probably never want to see her again. Nobody wanted to date a girl with such a messed-up homelife.
Two minutes later, Ryan pulled up in his tricked-out black Explorer. She opened the door. Though it was tempting to simply slink out, she made herself do the right thing. “Bye, Mom,” she called out in her most cheerful voice. “I’ll be home by curfew.”
“Hmm? Okay, sure.”
She closed the door, pulled out her key, and locked it. At least her mom would be safe.
She gave a little wave as she went down the stone walkway that led from the front door to the driveway. “Hi,” she said with a big smile.
He’d just gotten out of his SUV. “Hey. You didn’t have to come out. I was going to come to the door to get you.”
“I know. I thought I’d save you the trouble.”
Glancing at her front door, he said, “Your mom doesn’t want to meet me or anything? I don’t mind.”
Ryan was perfect. That’s all there was to it. “No.”
He frowned. “Really?”
Realizing that she didn’t sound very nice—and worried that he might think she was embarrassed by him—she forced herself to explain a little bit. “Sorry, that came out wrong. What I meant was that my mom’s, um, fine and all, but she’s not great around people she doesn’t know. So she’s usually okay with not meeting my dates.” She was now officially mortified. Why couldn’t she have kept her mouth closed? He hadn’t asked her about any of that.
And what was she doing talking like she had tons of dates?
His hand on the passenger door handle froze. “I just realized I probably sounded like a jerk. I know your dad died. I shouldn’t have acted like she should want to meet me.” Still looking regretful, he added, “I don’t know why I made a big deal about it.”
She knew why. Because she didn’t talk about either of her parents if she could help it. She especially didn’t talk about her mother’s descent into addiction with anyone she didn’t know well. She smiled. “It’s okay. My father died two years ago. It’s been a while.”
He relaxed. He opened her door before walking around to his side of the car. “Still, that does suck about your dad.”
As she put on her seat belt, she took in his jeans, leather Adidas, and long-sleeved North Face T-shirt. He was definitely dressed more casually than she was, but more dressed up than most kids their age. She knew he didn’t have a ton of money like her mother did, but each item was nice.
As he backed down her driveway, then pulled out onto the street, he said, “You sure live in a fancy neighborhood. All the houses are awesome.”
“Thanks.”
“Who else lives around here?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, who else from our school? I’m only asking because I don’t remember ever driving around here before.”
“Oh yeah. You used to drive around half the football team, right?” It had been a common sight, especially her senior year: Ryan and his Explorer, packed with guys.
“I just had a car and a lot of the younger guys didn’t. It helped everyone if no one was worrying about how to get a ride to practice.” He grimaced. “Coach gave us all major crap if just one guy was late. So I wasn’t being so nice, just, you know, worried about myself.”
“I didn’t know things like that happened.”
He grinned. “That’s because you weren’t subject to the wrath of Coach Holst.” He said it in a funny, scary voice.
Jen giggled and said, “Are you going to try to walk on when you’re in Pueblo?”
“I’d like to. I was a pretty good receiver. Not good enough for a big school like CU, but I might have a chance at an NCAA D2 school.”
“Do your parents care about your continuing to play?”
“Nah. All they cared about was that I got scholarships. I got some money for my grades, the science club, and being on student council. The Rotary Club came through, too.” He paused as he stopped at a light. “I like football a lot, but I realized a while back that I was never going to be big enough to get an athletic scholarship. I mainly played for fun, plus stuff like that helps on the college applications. Anyway, the scholarships, plus the money I make this summer, will be enough to get me through freshman year.”
All of which made her feel completely inept. She’d been very much a B student. Plus, when her dad died and with her mom falling apart, she hadn’t been able to do much besides just get through each day. Stop, she ordered herself. Don’t go thinking about how things would’ve been different if Dad hadn’t died. “I forgot you did so much with the science club.”
He looked embarrassed. “Don’t know why you would’ve thought about it. It’s not that interesting.”
“Didn’t you get an award or something?”
“The whole team did.”
It was pretty much a known fact that Ryan did just about everything really well. “You’re the only guy I know who doesn’t live to talk about himself,” she teased. That was the truth, too. Most guys she knew talked only about what they were interested in.
But instead of grinning, he said, “I could say the same about you. You’re like a sealed vault.”
That was news. It wasn’t all that flattering, either. “Oh, come on, what does that mean?”
“Come on, Jen. You never talk about yourself.”
“I . . . well, I guess I’ve never thought there was much to brag about.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’m serious. I was in band, that’s it. I was good, but I wasn’t great. I wasn’t a football star or anything.” She also had a lot of other things going on that she’d never wanted anyone to know about.
“Hey, it’s not like I’m saying that being private is a bad thing. It’s not.” He turned left when the light turned green. “A couple of the guys always thought you were stuck-up. When I moved here, I thought the same thing, but then I realized you were just quiet.”
“Okay.” Tucking a strand behind her ear, she looked out the window.
“Jen, I mean it. I mean, look how much time you spent with Crystal Beur. You wouldn’t have given her the time of day if you were stuck-up.”
The home ec teacher had paired them up and they’d hit it off. “Crystal is nice. She can’t help it if her family doesn’t have any money.”
“I know. All I’m saying is that when I saw the two of you together at lunch, I knew all the stuff I’d heard about you being stuck-up was wrong.”
She felt relieved, but also a little surprised. Had people actually thought she hung out with Crystal because she felt sorry for her? She liked Crystal! Then she thought of something else surprising: Ryan had noticed whom she ate lunch with.
Jen felt her cheeks heat. “Oh my gosh. I’m so glad I graduated. I couldn’t take another year of the rumor mill.”
“I felt the same way. College is going to be better.” Pulling into the parking lot of the movie theater, he said, “Are you ready to see Doomed?”
“I am. I just hope it’s not too scary.”
He chuckled. “If it is, you can grab hold of me.”
She rolled her eyes but inside, she was doing cartwheels.
“Get ready, I might do that.”
“Good.”
Getting out of his vehicle, it was all she could do not to start grinning like an idiot.
As they neared the theater entrance, she was shocked at how many people she recognized congregating in the lobby. It seemed as if half the high school was there—and every one of them was watching her walk in by Ryan’s side. If he hadn’t been so popular and she so less-than-that, Jen figured being watched wouldn’t have bothered her. But she couldn’t change the fact that they were an unlikely match.
When one of the girls looked at her like she couldn’t believe her eyes, Jen felt like staring right back. But instead, she pretended no one was looking.
“Halstead, hey!” Calder Bradberry called out.
“Hey,” Ryan said as they walked by him.
Jen didn’t know if she was glad about that or not. On one hand, she had no desire to talk to a guy who’d pretty much ignored her for the last four years.
On the other hand, she couldn’t help but wonder why Ryan wasn’t stopping. Was he really not interested in talking to Calder—or did he feel embarrassed to be seen with her?
Chapter 11
The lobby was packed and it seemed as if he knew most everyone there. Half the football team, a handful of JV and varsity cheerleaders, even most of the kids he’d been on student council with.
Not to mention the band kids, drama kids—every clique seemed to be well represented.
They were also all staring at him and Jen.
It was awkward.
Especially because Ryan could practically feel Jen tensing up beside him. He really hated that. It felt like he’d just finally gotten her to relax around him.
The sad thing was that Ryan had only himself to blame. This was their first official date and they were on display. The more he’d gotten to know Jen, the more he realized they’d lived pretty separate lives while they were in high school. He’d been on one end of the spectrum, she on the other. He’d been really social, both because it was his nature and because he’d felt the need to do everything he could to get scholarships for college.
