Moving Forward, page 23
“No, Jen,” Greg said in a clear, firm voice. “Stop worrying about the time. Empty your mind of all the negative and only think about what you have to do. All you need to do right now is pull these hoses. That’s it. Understand?”
“Yes.”
His voice deepened. “What do you have to do, Jen?”
“I need to grab the nozzle with one hand, the loop with the other, put both ends over my shoulders, and pull them down. I need to advance one hundred feet in less than a minute, then—”
“Stop. Don’t worry about what happens next or the clock. Just do it right.” He looked down at her. “Do you understand?”
He sounded like he was back in the army, which was kind of freaking her out. “Yeah.” She looked up at him.
His expression was like stone. “Let’s pretend you’re speaking to someone in charge, Jennifer. Now, what do you say?”
“Yes, sir or Roger that.”
“Jennifer, do you want to be a firefighter?”
Again, his voice was hard. “Yes, sir.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Then stop focusing on obstacles. Do you understand?”
“I do.”
“Good. Now go.”
She pulled up on the step, grabbed the loop with her left hand and the nozzle with the right, jumped down, positioned each over a shoulder, and started walking as fast as she could.
“There you go. Good job. How many feet is that hose?”
“One hundred.”
“Good. Pull down the next. Go.”
“Yes, sir.” She jumped up the step and did it again.
When the hose was laid flat, she said, “A hundred feet is out, sir.”
“What’s the next step?”
“Um, call out to the engineer to hook up to the water source?”
“Are you ready to do that?”
Remembering what she’d read in the manual, she shook her head. “No, sir. I need to check for kinks.”
“Correct. Do it.”
Sam and Chip had explained to her how important it was to make sure the hoses had no kinks. Kinks would slow the water and possibly prevent enough water from coming out to extinguish the fire. She carefully eyed the hose, found a kink, and righted it. “It’s good.”
“Hustle to the nozzle, then. Remember the position?”
“Yes, sir, I do.” She picked up the hose.
“What’s the next step?”
“I say Charge the line.”
“Say it, then.”
“Charge the line.”
Greg shook his head. “No one’s going to hear that. Say it like you mean it, Jennifer. Say it like you want to be here.”
“Charge the line!”
“There you go.” He sounded so kind, she turned to face him. He was smiling. Then, started clapping.
And then she heard more people clapping.
Everyone was there. Even the captain. Even Dave.
“Good job, Jennifer!” Captain DeWitt called out.
“Thank you, sir. Um, Greg helped a lot.”
“That’s good. That’s what we’re all supposed to do. We’re a team here.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Now, roll up the hose and do it again.”
“Yes, sir, I will.”
When everyone started to go back inside, she gazed up at Greg. “Thanks for your help.”
“You’re welcome.” He patted her shoulder before turning around and walking inside.
Instead of feeling abandoned, Jen felt empowered. She could do this. She could get through it. She could get through a lot of things, she realized. All she had to do was take it one step at a time.
Chapter 30
You did good with Jen,” Anderson told Greg as they ran with Mark up a hill near Anderson and Chelsea’s house.
“Whatever you told her seemed to be exactly what she needed to hear,” Mark agreed.
Greg didn’t want praise for helping a seventeen-year-old kid with a lot on her plate. “I didn’t do all that much. The girl just needed a break and a little help focusing. Poor thing.”
“Sam said something about Dave was the least of what she’s going through,” Mark said. “Is that right?”
“I think so. She’s working a ton, working out a ton, dealing with a mother who’s got her own problems, and all the other crap that comes with being her age.” He paused, then added, “Kristen told me she’s got a new boyfriend, too, and he’s about to leave for college down in Pueblo. I’m sure she’s thinking about that, too.”
“I thought Dave was a little out of line,” Anderson said. “I know it’s the norm to give recruits some grief, but it was too personal.” As they turned down Burdette, he added, “I was tempted to say something to him. I didn’t, but I wanted to.”
“I thought the same thing,” Greg said. “But I didn’t, either. I was worried that he would think I was on him because of my dating Kristen and Kristen is Jen’s boss.” As they started up the next hill, he took a deep breath. “I wish I had, though. Constantly picking on new recruits doesn’t help them or us.”
“I did speak with him,” said Mark when they started down.
“Oh yeah?” Anderson asked. “How did that go?”
Mark chuckled. “Not too good in the beginning. At first Dave reacted like I was out of line. Maybe I was. But when I told him that she’d been sitting on the ground crying after trying to untangle those hoses, he looked pretty upset.”
“Did you get any answers, Mark?” Anderson asked. “Why does he feel like Jen’s doing such a bad job? We’ve had other volunteers and candidates before. She’s actually better than most. I’ve never heard her talk back once.”
“Turns out that Dave supervised another kid fresh out of high school back when he was working in Jefferson County. The kid had promise but wouldn’t listen. Like, ever. One day when they were called out, the captain insisted Dave take the guy along.”
“Uh-oh,” Greg said.
“Yep, you guessed it. The kid messed up.”
“What happened?” Anderson asked.
“He got injured . . . and almost injured one of the victims at the scene.”
Greg winced. “That’s tough.”
“Yeah. But worse, about a week later, when the actions came up for review, his captain reprimanded him. It was like he’d completely forgotten that he had forced Oringer to take the kid along.”
“That was convenient for the captain,” Greg said.
“Yeah.” As they slowed down to a jog, Mark added, “So, it’s not Jen as much as who she reminds him of. He doesn’t want to be responsible for her getting hurt.”
“Yeah, he’s covering himself,” said Greg.
Mark shrugged. “Yeah. And who can blame him? We know that stuff went on in the army, too. You were a good cap, Greg, but not every officer was fair.”
Anderson glanced at Greg. “Sorry, but part of me thinks that girl needs to get a thicker skin. I mean, Dave isn’t gonna be the worst person she’ll ever deal with.”
“I agree, but that’s not the issue right now,” Greg countered. “We’re supposed to be supportive and teach her. We can’t teach her anything if she’s afraid of messing up. Plus, we have to think about Sam, too.”
Mark nodded. “That’s why I went to talk to Dave. I didn’t want Sam to think that she was out on a limb on her own.”
They were almost back at Anderson’s house. Mark wiped a band of sweat off his face with the bottom of his T-shirt. “So . . . moving on . . . I guess things with Jen’s boss are going well?”
Greg nodded. “I think so. But her ex did a number on her. He dumped her just a couple of hours before the wedding rehearsal at the church.”
“What?” Anderson looked incredulous. “Who does that?”
“I couldn’t tell you.” Taking a breath, he added, “As you can imagine, she’s got some trust issues.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Nothing. As you know, making promises and breaking them isn’t my style. I’ve told her that we’ll take everything as slowly as she wants to.”
“I’d do the same.”
Greg smiled at him. “We’re experts at waiting.”
“You mean hurry-up-and-waiting,” Anderson joked.
“Yep.” Thinking about how sweet Kristen was, he said, “Plus, I don’t want to be anything like her jerk of an ex. I get the feeling that he put her down a lot. It sounds like he kept finding fault with her, then finding more.”
Mark frowned. “I hate guys like that.”
“Yeah. Me, too.”
“How’s her health now?” Anderson asked.
“Better.” He smiled. “I got to meet her cardiologist and heard him give her a stern talking-to about taking care of herself.”
“So you have ammunition.” Mark grinned.
“Yeah. A little bit. Of course, I just hope Kristen has learned her lesson about taking breaks, staying hydrated, and not overdoing things.”
Anderson whistled low. “Something tells me that she wouldn’t appreciate you saying that she needed to learn her lesson.”
“She wouldn’t appreciate it at all.” Greg frowned. “I’m not looking to be controlling, but Kristen doesn’t realize how it feels to see someone you care about struggling to breathe! Standing on the sidelines, not being able to do anything to help her, isn’t fun. Like, not at all.”
“What are you going to do if she doesn’t change?” Mark asked.
The question hit a nerve—especially because he didn’t have an answer. Greg scowled. “Why are you asking?”
His buddy looked uncomfortable, but he didn’t back down. “Hey, not everyone changes just because someone asks them to.”
They’d reached the top of the final hill and stopped, breathing heavily. Anderson was bent over his right leg, stretching it.
Giving Anderson a few minutes, Greg studied Mark. “It sounds like you have experience with someone who didn’t want to change.”
Mark’s expression said he was still haunted by it. “I do. But we’re focusing on you and Kristen.”
Now that he’d calmed down a bit, Greg gave Mark’s question some consideration. “To answer your question . . . I don’t know what I’m going to do if Kristen doesn’t want to make those changes. There’s a part of me that wonders if there’s more going on with her health than she’s telling me.”
“Ask her.”
“I have, and she’s been pretty open.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know. I guess it’s just a feeling I have. All I do know is that if I can’t trust her to take care of herself, I’m going to feel like I have to be the one to do it.”
“And?” Anderson asked.
“And . . . I don’t know if I want to take on that responsibility.” Thinking of all the fresh-faced, too-sure-of-themselves second lieutenants he used to be in charge of, he said, “I already did enough of that in the army.”
“We all did enough of that in the army,” Mark said.
Anderson stretched his arms above his head. “For what it’s worth, I think Kristen might surprise you. People do change. I sure did. I bet you guys grew up as much as I did in the army.”
Greg nodded. He agreed with Anderson to an extent. People did change their priorities, their careers, and maybe even what they wanted in a partner.
“I don’t know, Doc. I mean, yeah, we have different jobs than when we were in the army, but do you view the world differently than you used to? I mean, you might react smarter, but did you change at your core?”
They had now reached Anderson’s driveway, and when neither of his buddies answered right away, he decided to push.
Greg glanced at Anderson. Really looked at the scars. “Did getting those scars change who you are on the inside?”
Anderson frowned but didn’t look offended by the question. Only reflective. “Not the scars, no, but the army made me value simple things more. It made me regret how cocky I’d been in high school and ashamed of how much I used to take for granted. The army gave me a bigger appreciation for Woodland Park and Chelsea and my family. Depending on you guys and everyone in our unit made me realize that I was only one person, and therefore weaker alone than in a group together. But do I think I fundamentally changed? No, I do not.”
“Mark?”
Mark shook his head. “I’ve always been a little too intense and like a sheepdog trying to shepherd everyone around me. I’ve always been that way and still am.”
“It made you a good sergeant.”
“Yeah, but not always the best boyfriend. Although I have learned to keep my mouth shut, I’m still always sure I’m right.”
“The problem is that you are usually right,” Anderson joked.
“Not always. I’ve made some mistakes. But if you asked me to never analyze a situation or try to find a way to solve a seemingly unworkable problem? It would be next to impossible for me. It’s how I got through school and the military. It’s a part of who I am.”
“I feel the same way about most of my character traits,” said Greg. “I’m still a little too confident. I still sometimes say too much when I should shut up and listen. I still fight off tears when I see kids hurting. I still have that same drive I did when I was twelve or thirteen and wanted to be someone my father could be proud of.” He trailed off. He didn’t know what else to say.
“You need to talk to Kristen, Greg. Tell her what’s important to you—and ask her to share more, too. I don’t know . . . sometimes I think women who weren’t in the service assume that soldiers don’t want to ever talk about our feelings.”
“Because we don’t,” quipped Mark.
“Maybe not with a lot of guys, but we’ve learned to share a lot with each other.” After a pause, Anderson continued. “I’m okay talking about my feelings with Chelsea. Plus, she always helps once she understands what’s bothering me. It’s made us stronger. Kristen might be thinking that you won’t understand her feelings or what she needs.”
“You’ve got a good point.”
“I can tell you this—if you two don’t have a future together, both of you will be glad to know now.”
“I’ll call her and see if she wants to come over.”
“There you go. For the record, I hope you start talking more. I think that’s all you two need. I like Kristen and Chelsea likes her, too.”
“Thanks.”
* * *
• • •
Greg continued to turn it over in his head after he got home and showered.
Finally, he accepted that nothing he was thinking was going to make a difference and he needed to reach out to Kristen. He pulled out his phone and gave her a call.
She sounded so happy when she picked up. “Greg, I was just about to call you!”
“Really? What’s up?”
“I met the nicest veteran today. He reminded me of you.”
He smiled. “Oh yeah? Was he tall, dark, and almost bald?” he teased.
“Well, he was almost bald. But, unlike you, I don’t think he lost his hair by choice. I think he was near eighty.”
“And he reminded you of me?”
“He was so kind and warm. Just a really good man, I could tell. You would’ve liked him.”
“I bet I would have. Thank you for the compliment, by the way.”
“You’re welcome, but it’s true. You’re a really good man, Greg.”
And that’s why he really needed to get things sorted out between them. Not because she gave him sweet compliments, but because she made him feel like he was worth something. She made him feel good just by being herself.
“Come over for dinner.”
“Come over for dinner? When?”
“Tonight.”
“Tonight?” She chuckled. “I’m sorry. I sound like a parrot.”
“I want to see you. I’ll grill some salmon. We can have potatoes and a salad.”
“That all sounds wonderful. Is it a special occasion?”
“Beyond just wanting to see you? No . . . but I wanted to be with you someplace quiet.” He took a deep breath. “Kristen, I think we need to talk.”
“Oh?” She sounded wary.
“I mean, I want to discuss some things.”
“This sounds serious. Is something wrong? Maybe we should just talk about whatever’s on your mind right now.”
He was really messing this up. “Kristen, nothing’s wrong. I just want to discuss some things.” When she didn’t say anything for a few seconds, he added, “I promise, I’m not trying to be evasive. I mainly just want to spend some time with you.”
“All right. What time?”
He glanced at the clock. It was three. “What time can you get off work?”
“Six.”
“Is seven too early?”
“No, I can do that. Would you like me to bring anything?”
“Just yourself. I’ll text you my address, okay?”
“Okay.”
“See you soon.”
“Yes, I’ll see you soon. Bye, Greg,” she said softly.
“Bye, baby.”
When he hung up, he looked around at his living room. And winced. He had four hours to grocery shop and put his place into some semblance of order. It wasn’t all that messy, but it looked as bare as his army barracks.
He had to level up and maybe hang a poster or two on his walls if he was going to ask Kristen to open up more.
Chapter 31
How’s the wine, Kristen?” Greg asked from his position in front of the grill. “Is it okay?”
“It’s wonderful.” She took another sip to show that she liked his selection. And she did. Greg had chosen a pinot noir from Washington State. She was no wine aficionado but even she knew that he’d made a good choice. It was a pretty far cry from the eight-dollar bottles she usually picked up at the liquor store.
