Betrayer, page 15
part #3 of The Shining Ones Series
“Hey, weasel,” he said hoarsely. His voice was thick with unshed tears. “How’s my baby girl?” He moved his hand up beside mine on her chest, and Daisy licked him before dropping her head back to the bed, wheezing quietly.
His words just made my tears fall harder, but as miserable as I was, I was so thankful that she was going to make it. Her death would’ve destroyed me. As it was, her bandaged body and her labored breathing pushed my anxiety into the stratosphere.
“How long before she can come home?” asked Birdie, glancing at the vet tech before returning his gaze to Daisy.
“Dr. Clarkson will update you. Are you okay to stay with her?” asked the tech.
We both nodded and she got up and left the room. It was just the three of us.
“I’d give anything to be able to take her with us,” I said in a low voice, not wanting to disturb the hush in the room. Daisy’s ragged breathing was the only other sound.
“I know. Same here, but it’d be worse for her, Poe.” He paused. “She needs the medical attention, you know that.”
Birdie was right, but my desperation was strong, almost defiant. That was when the anger kicked in. Anger at myself, at the unfairness of my life. I backed away from Daisy, sitting down on my butt, my hands clenched into fists. I wanted to scream.
Birdie’s hand shot out, grabbing my arm. “Don’t. Don’t let it take over. She will recover, and we’ll come back for her. One day at a time, Poe.”
My anger was about to lash out, Birdie in its crosshairs, but Dr. Clarkson slid into the room, and the next thing I knew, we were overwhelmed with information—timelines, medications, cost breakdowns, vet terminology—words that I didn’t even understand, but Birdie took over, and I was grateful. He talked through all the options with Dr. Clarkson, and when they’d finally reached an agreement, Dr. Clarkson rushed out of the room to another waiting patient.
Birdie and I didn’t talk much on the way back to the apartment, both caught up in our own thoughts. We’d talked just enough to argue over who would pay for Daisy’s expensive treatment, but Birdie won out. He’d cover all her costs from his advance. We’d need my money once I’d sold my lot.
I was exhausted by the time we got back to the apartment. We both were, but we still had to go to work. At least for a little while longer. While our departure wasn’t going to be a shock to either Joe or Stevie—Birdie was already leaving Paddy’s to go on tour, and Joe and I had already had our talk—that didn’t mean either of us relished the idea of having those conversations again. We both had a lot of explaining to do, none of it made easier by Katie’s presence at Paddy’s or my fight with Haylee. The fallout seemed overwhelming.
“Are you sure we can pull this off?” I asked, sitting at the kitchen table, a mug of coffee nestled between my hands. We’d made our list of everything that needed to be taken care of in the next couple of days.
“We have to,” Birdie replied, leaning up against the fridge, the weariness in his voice matching mine. “It’s easier with the trailer being gone, as terrible as that loss was. I’ve already reached out to Andre and asked him if he was open to subleasing my apartment. We just have to box up the minimal amount of my stuff and put it in storage. The RO guys will store my equipment after the tour.”
“I guess I don’t have anything left I really care about,” I replied, rubbing my thumb down the side of the mug. Everything of mine still at Adam’s had been paid for with his blood money except for my art supplies. I could live without those. “I’ll need to get some clothes. Hell, I’m gonna have to call Haylee to borrow a dress anyhow.”
“Don’t worry about all that stuff, Poe. We’ll sort it out. Maybe asking Haylee for a dress will break the ice.”
“Yeah, right,” I snorted.
Birdie walked over to me and kissed the top of my head. “It will. She loves you. Once you tell her about the breakup, she’ll be there for you. Trust me.”
“Okay.” I sighed. “I guess I better get to it.” I rose from my chair and placed my mug in the sink.
“Yeah, me too. See you after work?” Birdie asked.
“Of course. Where else am I going to go?” I asked as I grabbed my phone and keys from the side table in the living room.
He didn’t rise to the bait, but his eyes softened as his smile became more solemn. “It’s gonna be fine. Just be careful, okay?”
I nodded and left for Rockfish. I was more anxious about it than I was willing to show him. Haylee had reluctantly picked up the phone and agreed to meet me earlier at the restaurant so we could talk.
We sat at an empty table listening to the clacking of pots and pans in the kitchen. The kitchen crew were already busy getting the prep ready for the dinner crowd. We hadn’t said much to each other, enough for me to thank her for the dress and shoes she’d brought for me, which I put on, and her to mutter a “you’re welcome.”
I pulled down on the front of Haylee’s floral dress, absentmindedly wondering when my boobs had gotten bigger than hers. Fidgeting was the only thing I felt comfortable doing right then, but I’d called her here. The onus was on me as Haylee crossed her warms, waiting.
I cleared my throat. “So. I wanted to let you know a couple of things.” Pausing long enough to gather courage, I tried to keep my voice even and calm. “I’m sorry for not leaving with you the other night, and I’m sorry if you felt like I chose Adam over you. I made a mistake, a big one, and I’m sorry.” Haylee opened her mouth to say something, but I put my hand up. “But that’s not everything. You should know that Adam and I broke up, and the reason we broke up is because he’s married.”
My news caught Haylee off guard. Her expression, sullen before, transformed into alarm, then downright astonishment, her emerald eyes going wide, her mouth dropping open in a way that would’ve been comical if my heart weren’t beating so painfully in my chest. I waited for her to say something.
“No,” she said, sitting stunned in her chair.
“Yes. I wouldn’t have believed it myself if she hadn’t come for him, but it’s real, Haylee, and I regret it. All of it. I never want to see him again.” It’d been hard to say those words, the pain in my chest so close to the surface, the memories of that night in Adam’s house still vivid and lethal.
“That crazy man,” she breathed out. Her mouth closed a fraction of an inch, but her eyes stayed wide, the incredulity in them mixed with anger. I knew how she felt. “Did he come clean, or did you catch him at it?”
As much as I didn’t want to relive the experience so soon, Haylee deserved as much of the truth as I could give her, so I told her. I walked her through our last moment of intimacy, the knock on the door, Evelina and Adam caught in their embrace. It was no use to bring up Mordecai, whoever he was, because it’d only muddy the retelling. I closed my eyes, my breath caught in my throat, as the story finished.
“He did that in front of you? What in holy Moses was he thinkin’?” Haylee rubbed her hand over her lips. I could almost see the cogs of the wheel turning behind her eyes. It was true. That part seemed unbelievable to me, too, except it wasn’t unbelievable if he loved her more.
I held back the sting of tears. “I think when she showed up, he couldn’t deny it, so what was the point in hiding it any longer? I don’t know and I don’t care. It’s over.”
Haylee finally reached out to me, the warm, smooth skin of her hand covering mine as she got up quickly to hug me. She wrapped her skinny arms around my shoulders, and my tears broke through, the dam of misery I’d been holding back bursting. “I’m so sorry, girl. I ain’t ever liked that man, but you sure as hell never deserved this.”
I wept openly, not caring about my face becoming blotchy or that the noise coming from my heaving chest sounded like someone was tearing my heart apart piece by piece. None of it mattered because I couldn’t hide it from her. Not from my Haylee Jane.
“Hey! What’s happened?”
The sound of Joe’s voice startled us, his heavy stride getting closer as he rushed from the kitchen. “What’s going on? Haylee Jane?”
I clutched Haylee tighter, my face buried in her flat stomach, the smell of her jasmine scent clinging to me just like I clung to her. I didn’t want my dad to see me like this, didn’t want him to find out about my humiliation this way. I felt Haylee tighten her grip on me, too, her hand pressing my head to her body before she rubbed my back in soothing circles.
“It’s gonna be fine, Mr. Cardoza. Just give Poe a second,” she replied.
“It’s Joe, Haylee, you don’t need to call me Mr. Cardoza, and I didn’t ask if it was gonna be fine, I asked what the hell is going on?” His voice was strung too tightly.
“It’s okay. Tell him, Haylee,” I mumbled, my words muffled by her cotton dress.
“Adam and Poesy split up.” She paused, weighing up her words, and I knew she was hesitant to tell him the whole truth, but then she spoke again. “You’re not gonna believe it, but he’s married.” Haylee patted my shoulder as her words sunk in, the mortification of my dad knowing the truth making the heat rush to my face. I really didn’t want to look at him now.
“That son of a bitch.” Joe let a string of profanities fly, most of which I drowned out as I sobbed into Haylee’s dress.
“Aww, honey, I’m so sorry,” said Joe in a choked voice. His words just made the tears worse.
Haylee disentangled herself from me, which wasn’t as easy as it sounds, since my arms grabbed at her like octopus tentacles every time she tried to move away. I looked up to whine at her, but she was stepping back for Joe, backing away to let my dad step in to give me comfort. He got down on his knees, his sorrowful eyes level with mine as he pushed the wetness on my face away with his thumb.
“I know you’re hurtin’ and I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it’s gonna be okay, my baby girl. He wasn’t good enough for you anyway.” He kissed me on my cheek and wrapped me in a bear hug before pulling back.
“I’m such an idiot,” I whispered. “I let him in. Even after everyone warned me, I didn’t listen, and I let him break my heart.”
“I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch,” my dad growled. “If he thinks he can—”
“No!” I said sharply, grabbing his arm. “Please don’t. I don’t want anyone getting hurt, especially not you. Promise me you won’t go to him, Dad.” My dad was just an old man, and a human one at that. I didn’t want to think about what they might do to him. I no longer knew what Adam Brightstar was capable of.
My dad groaned but relented, patting my hand. “Okay. Fine.”
Wiping away my tears, I tried to get ahold of myself. That’d only been the first part of my news, not that the second part should come as a surprise. Nothing in my plan had changed as far as they were concerned. I was still going. But they didn’t know that. I could tell looking into their faces. They thought I’d be staying now. Sitting up, I pushed away my anxiety.
“I need to get out of here for a while—” I began.
“Sure, honey. You don’t need to be here tonight.”
I shook my head and gave my dad a weak smile, my eyes still watery. “That’s not what I mean. I’m still going away…at least for a little bit. Birdie is going to take me with him on tour, but you can’t say anything to anyone. I don’t want Adam to know where I am.”
“But what about us? And Daisy?” Haylee’s face dropped like I’d just told her someone had died.
I sighed, closing my eyes for just a second to gather my thoughts. When I opened them again, I gazed back at Haylee’s stricken expression. “I can’t stay here right now, Haylee. I need you to look after Daisy for me. Both of you. And I need you two to look after each other, too. I’m sorry.”
Haylee just nodded, choosing not to say anything, but Joe took it harder.
The gruffness in his voice didn’t mask his disappointment. “I thought maybe now…do you really have to go?” Joe asked abruptly, his shoulders stiff.
“Yes,” I replied calmly, feeling anything but calm. “I promise you I’ll be back, though. No matter what happens, I’m coming back.”
Joe sat back on his feet, then rocked back up to standing, his mouth set in a grim line. I gave him a pleading look and he sighed. “Okay, Poe. Okay.” Joe ruffled my hair, then bent down and placed a kiss on my part line. “It that’s what you need to do then okay, but you better make it back to us safely.”
I nodded, not able to give him any more words of comfort.
Little did I know that the future would make me a liar.
13
That night I slept the sleep of the dead, and so it came as no surprise when I woke up midday the next day to an empty bed. Reaching over, I felt around for Birdie, but the only thing my fingers found was a crumpled-up sheet. I rolled over to his side of the bed, pressed my nose into his pillow, and inhaled. The smell of shaving cream mingled with his patchouli cologne and the unmistakable scent of fabric softener. I smiled to myself, picturing Birdie doing laundry in his bare feet. God, I’d missed him.
As much as I wanted to linger under his comforter, to snuggle back in and forget about the rest of the world, I couldn’t. There was too much to do. Time was ticking away, and there were errands to run, real estate agents to call, clothes to buy, and a whole slew of other pressing issues that had to be taken care of.
Sighing, I threw back the covers, this time already dressed in a pair of Birdie’s boxers and a t-shirt. When I’d balked about being practically naked in his bed yesterday, he’d shrugged and rolled his eyes at me. “It’s not like I haven’t seen most of it before, Poe. Granted, you were twelve at the time, but still.” He’d given me a cheeky grin then, knowing I couldn’t stay mad. He was right, but I still instituted a t-shirt-and-boxer rule after that.
Grabbing a pair of cotton socks from Birdie’s dresser, I slipped them on my feet and headed out into the living room, still sleepy, rubbing my eyes and yawning. My short hair was no doubt sticking up all over my head like a spiky hedgehog, but it hardly mattered—what did was caffeine. The strong and enticing aroma of coffee was like a tug on my senses.
Except that I stopped short, my hand flying up to cover the squeak of surprise escaping from my mouth.
Birdie’s living room was full of my stuff. Boxes of canvases were stacked in one corner, my underwear and bras spewed out of a trash bag over by the coffee table. Even my small rolling cart from my art studio was there, pushed up against Birdie’s line of bookcases. Everywhere I looked, I saw the detritus of my life, at least, the little amount that still existed. I lowered my hand, still in shock, searching around to figure out how it all got there. My heart started to flutter in my chest, my temperature rising, as I stumbled toward Birdie’s recliner. Surely Adam hadn’t been here?
I looked up to find Birdie dressed in jeans and a hoodie, staring at me from the kitchen, a confused look clearly etched across his features. His brow was furrowed, his mouth turned down into a frown, his headed tilted like Daisy’s when she heard a sound she couldn’t decipher.
“What is it? I thought you’d be happy.” He took a step toward me, his worry still hovering over his brow.
“Was he here?” I whispered, dismayed.
“What? God, no! Are you kidding me? You think I’d let him in here?” He swept his arm around the small confines of his apartment, made even tinier by my stuff. Birdie shook his head, making his way over to where I still stood clutching the back of his recliner. “I went to that bastard’s house and got your stuff. Well, most of it anyhow. I couldn’t get the studio furniture into the van.”
“You went to Adam’s?” The disbelief in my voice rang strong and true.
Birdie laughed, actually laughed! “Yeah, of course. I’m not afraid of him, Poe.” His arrogant stance, hands on hips, chin raised like it would somehow make him taller…he looked like the god damn Jolly Green Giant.
“Are you nuts? He could’ve hurt you! Oh my god, Birdie!” I wanted to shake him right then. This wasn’t a joke. As it was, I gripped his forearm tight, dragging him closer until he was right on top of me.
“Relax. Jesus.” Birdie rolled his eyes. “He wasn’t going to hurt me. Hell, he won’t be hurting anyone anytime soon. He looked like shit.” All of Birdie’s bravado still unsettled me, but not as much as his words.
“You saw him? Was she there?” I still clutched his arm like I was drowning and he was my only lifeline. I should’ve felt ashamed, but all I felt was despondent, a tightening of the noose around my heart.
“You don’t look so good. Sit,” Birdie commanded. He led me around to the front of the recliner and pushed me back into it. The last thing I wanted to do was sit. I wanted to get up and pace around the room, but the need to hear more kept me down.
“Tell me, Birdie. I want to know.”
He took a seat on the edge of the coffee table, his sneakers wedged between my socked feet, his knees only inches from mine. He sat forward on his elbows, causing me to lean back in the chair. Sighing, he gave me a knowing look. “I should lie to you and say that he was happy as a pig in shit, but he wasn’t. In fact, he was anything but happy. He hadn’t shaved, and he sure as hell didn’t look like he’d slept at all since you left. He asked about you, but I told him to mind his own damn business, that he’d done enough damage. Oh, and wifey wasn’t anywhere to be seen. The house was quiet.”
“Did he say anything else? You didn’t tell him you knew, did you?”
Birdie shook his head. “I’m not a total idiot, though I did tell him he was a total fucktard who didn’t deserve you and that there was no way I was letting him over here to see you. Out of the god damn question, even if he did say he was sorry.”
