Crow Moon, page 17
“Can I come in?” Ned asked from the doorway.
Leni had been sitting by her stained-glass balcony door, staring out at the moon, which was making a sneak peek appearance while the sky was still light blue.
He put his hands on her shoulders. “Children’s moon. That’s what my mom calls it. Well when I was a kid anyway.”
“Children’s moon?”
“Because it’s out in the daytime when the kids are still awake. We always thought it was a treat, like it came out just for us.”
Leni smiled. “That’s nice.”
“It was. Now the moon is kind of scaring the hell out of me.”
She laughed. “I know the feeling.”
“There’s nothing else you can do. You’ve trained. They’ve done their protections. Everyone here has been screened and can be trusted. You have whatever power you have. We’ve done everything possible.”
“I know.”
“And maybe nothing will happen. Maybe your aunt has been wrong all along.” He sat beside her on the bed.
“Then where is my mother?”
“Tomorrow is your birthday. I want you to celebrate. I talked with Diana, and we’re having a big dinner downstairs in the formal dining room. We are going to be happy and positive and not worry all day about something that is out of our control. Will you be my date to your birthday dinner?”
“Of course.” She beamed at him.
“It’s the second date, so still important. Of course, we have been shacking up for over a month now.” He put his arms around her. “It’s going to be okay.”
“And what if it’s not?”
He held her until the children’s moon changed into a regular moon with the dark sky and stars around it, and though she’d promised her aunt not to have boys in her room, she let Ned sleep next to her in her twin bed. She figured it would be okay since her aunt had forced him to live there.
The next day, everyone except Leni was busy beefing up force fields. She glanced out her window to see them in a circle, casting together. It must be what Diana called ritual magic, but she wasn’t invited. They let her sleep in, probably because she’d need to be well rested to face what was coming.
She made some toast in the kitchen and headed outside. The nip in the air had gone, as though it knew spring was here. She was barefoot, wearing only PJ bottoms and a camisole top. It was cool, but nothing she couldn’t handle. She waited for the chanting to finish. When it did, a burst of sparks shot upward and cascaded out as if in a dome over the large property.
Audrey clapped and Lindsey gave a celebratory whoop. Ned smiled, but Andrew did not. He clearly didn’t want to help. The circle broke up, most of its participants heading her way.
She sat on the porch while the others neared the stairs to join her.
“How do you remember them? The spells?” she asked to no one in particular.
“Go on, I’ll be in shortly,” Diana said to the others. Michaels and her grandfather walked toward the barn. Andrew hurried by and headed in without a word. Ned bent down to kiss Leni before following. The two cousins sat on the stairs below her.
“We’ll stay,” Audrey said.
Diana remained standing. “It’s sort of like riding a bike,” she began.
“You use words in other languages that I don’t know. When do I learn that? When do I match up all of the formula and ingredients for each spell?”
“Okay, not like riding a bike. It’s more like driving a car and learning your way around. After you do it a few times, you remember how to get to your destination without looking at a map. You can drive back to your house in the city, even though you’ve only made the drive from there to here and here to there. You don’t necessarily know that in 5.6 miles you should turn northwest on Oak Street. You just know where it is, so you drive in that direction.”
“It’s true. We never studied languages or memorized spells. It just comes to us,” Audrey added.
“It just comes to you?”
“It’s in our blood. It’s innate. Like animals knowing how to swim or find food. You just know.”
This didn’t help Leni at all. “I don’t know any of it. If you wanted me to cast a spark spell to light a candle, I would have no idea how to go about it.”
All three smiled at her. Diana spoke. “You will.”
“Why are there spell books, then?” Leni argued.
“Again, like driving. You have to have driven there once. You needed directions the first time when you drive and maybe to get to trickier locations, you may need to refer to maps. Same with spells. Cast levitate.”
Leni frowned, but before she could protest that she didn’t remember the spell, “Ardu cleite” came from her mouth, her hand drifted in the proper motions, she visualized a feather lifting, and focused on a stick on the sidewalk in front of her. The stick wobbled and rose.
Audrey squealed and Aunt Diana smiled. “I think she’s got it.”
Leni’s smile was temporary.
“I’ll need to cast something other than levitate tonight.”
“Maybe you will and maybe you won’t. Maybe not casting will save you,” Diana said.
“That seems unlikely. Me just standing there doing nothing.”
“You assume she’ll get through,” Audrey said. “We’ve done some good work here.”
“It’s best to put it out of your mind,” Lindsey added.
“Easier said than done.”
“Why don’t you take it easy today? We let you sleep in. You should relax and rest. Oh, and happy birthday!” Diana said.
Lindsey burst out, “Ned is planning a lovely dinner for you tonight.”
“Very romantic,” Audrey added. “Do you have something nice to wear? I can conjure something up, if you want.”
Leni smiled but imagined someone’s prom dress being taken away from them only to materialize for her last supper. “No thanks. Save your magic. I may need it later.”
Leni thumbed through the spell books she had, hoping Diana was right and seeing the spells would help them come to mind if necessary. She tried to relax, but it was impossible. The panic attacks were swirling below the surface. She did everything she could to keep them from coming.
“Don’t worry about things you can’t change,” her dad always said.
She couldn’t change the future. Her family and friends had done what they could to keep her grandmother from coming for her. They had trained her, warned her, and protected her. They were here for her. There was nothing more she could do at this point. Let come what may.
Her family and friends. A few months ago she’d come here knowing no one, having no one in her life after her father passed. She’d gotten to know Diana, Michaels, and Ned. She hadn’t gotten to know her grandfather, but he was on her side. She’d reconnected briefly with her mother, though initially she’d resisted. Then lost her again. If anything, she hoped something would happen, so she could get her back.
She’d been isolated for so long she’d talked herself out of the benefits of having people around who cared. People who wanted to help. She’d been so afraid of losing people, she hadn’t wanted to let them in.
But in doing so, she was losing them before she had the chance to get to know them.
She started to slip away into a dream. Or was it a memory? Her father kissing her hand by her hospital bedside during the dark time. That morphed into her mother there, whispering to her. What was she saying? She apologized, and she whispered words in another language. Was she casting spells?
“Neartu–sharu–bua,” her mother had whispered. Flashes of her mother murmuring over her. Her mother wearing a light blue shirt with her hair up, another with her wearing a green shirt and her hair was back, another with her wearing a coral shirt with her hair down—another and another. Her mother had been there for her many, many times in the hospital, whispering spells to her, strengthening her, preparing her.
“Leni? It’s almost time for Ned’s dinner.” It was Lindsey’s voice from the hall that woke her.
Leni came to, realizing Debra had never really left her daughter. She’d been there the entire time, hiding and keeping her distance. Protecting her from her family’s magic for as long as she could.
“Okay, thanks,” Leni answered, trying to sound awake and alert. Had she slept the day away? She’d been sleeping a lot lately. The mental concentration and training along with the stress was exhausting. She took a deep breath and stretched to wake her limbs up.
Sounds of movement faded away from the door. It was time to get ready. Audrey had suggested something fancy, so Leni got out a red dress with spaghetti straps to wear to dinner. She’d seen it on sale last fall and thought it might be good to have for future college parties.
She slipped it on and applied some make up. Nervous energy coursed through her veins.
Eighteen years old. Sadness struck her. Her father hadn’t lived to see her turn eighteen. He wouldn’t see her graduate from high school, so she wouldn’t even bother going. She’d graduated technically but hadn’t gone through the ceremony yet. That would have to be good enough. He wouldn’t see her get married, have children. If any of those were to come. She was assuming she’d live through the night.
A crow cawed from her balcony. She opened her balcony doors. The grass of the grounds below was just hinting at turning green with the arrival of spring. The air had a touch of warmth in it now. Not a lot. Just enough to tease the senses.
The sky, already darkening, revealed the children’s moon, lurking in the deep lilac of night.
“Caw boa!” another crow shouted.
Crow moon. My birthday. Spring equinox. Would her grandmother come? Did Leni have any powers? If so, could she control them?
A panic attack roiled in the pit of her belly. Though she hadn’t had one since the episode in her father’s old office with Ned, the tremors rocked her. She headed out onto the balcony for some fresh air. Breathe in—breathe out. Focus. Push it down.
She’d been able to control her attacks for months now, but this one—it felt different. No wonder. Witches were coming to put her to a test that may well kill her or others around her. Others she’d grown to care for. Witch hunters were also out there, searching for her, too. Why wouldn’t she be stressed now? It would be surprising if she weren’t.
Oh no. She could feel it rising up, clawing at her from its depths. She wanted to go down to a nice birthday dinner. She wanted to be strong in case her grandmother came. She couldn’t be in the midst of an attack. A normal panic attack could affect her for hours, leaving her drained for some time.
A ripple of fear rolled through her from her toes to her chest, and she gripped the railing on the edge of the deck, white knuckling it to keep upright.
Her vision clouded, shifting to prickles of blinking black dots in front of her. She’d never fought an attack this strong before and beaten it. Maybe it was best to surrender to it, let it roll over her and pass on. Maybe if she were weak and unconscious, her grandmother would pass her over, disregarding her as powerless and insignificant.
That was even if her grandmother existed. Even if this test were real. Even if the enemy could get through the wards and find her. Even if her grandmother cared. After all, it could all be a delusion of her aunt’s. Of her mother’s. Where had her mother gone again?
Fear raked over her body, causing her to stumble back. Her knees buckled and hit the balcony hard, her hands falling forward to catch her upper body. There she rested, on the ground, panting for control of her breathing. Just wait here. It will pass.
Her skinned knees stung. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. Just let it have me. Succumb and wait for its release. Her heart raced and she trembled violently but tried to keep from falling over prone. Four points of contact with the floor. This is as steady as I’ll be. Knee, knee, hand, hand. Let it pass over. Just a few minutes and the worst of it will be over. She knew from experience.
She just hoped no one would walk in on her in this helpless state. She’d fail them. They were here to protect her, and she couldn’t even stand up on her own. Sweat beaded on her temples, though it wasn’t warm enough out to warrant that, and a wave of nausea rushed over her. She contemplated getting to the edge of the deck if necessary but found it best to remain still. Movement made her too queasy. Movement made her shake harder. Movement made her heart race faster.
Let it pass. A few more minutes. She panted and started counting to occupy her mind.
“One, two, three–” she whispered.
Her focus was on herself and a tiny sphere that contained her and her immediate surroundings, but she became vaguely aware of the sky darkening to violet and the sounds of cawing becoming more hectic in the background.
“Four, five—” She concentrated on her breathing. Inhale on six. Exhale seven.
“Lenore, darling.”
Sharp inhale.
She peered through her speckled vision to see an old woman accompanied by several others coming from her bedroom.
“What a state you’re in!” the woman said.
Leni couldn’t have responded even if she wanted to at this time. This woman’s appearance heightened the panic attack. She noticed something in her grandmother’s hand. Emerson? Her teddy bear?
“This? This is how we got in. I had someone plant crystal in your bear weeks ago.”
Though Leni’s mind was cloudy and preoccupied, a vision of Ginny picking up Emerson in her room flashed through her.
Leni panted and squinted, trying to clear her vision. It did so momentarily to reveal Mrs. Wilson standing there, draped in black robes and flanked by half a dozen others. Ginny was one of them. And a taller man shoved Debra in front. She fell to the ground before Leni.
“Leni, honey. I’m so sorry. Don’t do anything they—”
“Silence!” Mrs. Wilson roared. And with a flick of her hand, no more sound came from Leni’s mom.
Leni could barely talk, let alone defend herself, but she managed to croak out, “M-M-Mrs. W-W-Wilson? M-m-my n-ne-neighbor?”
“Oh no, darling. I’m not your neighbor. I’m your grandmother. Here.” Katherine made a motion across her face as though she were unzipping something, and Mrs. Wilson’s face dissolved away, replaced by a woman Leni didn’t know but recalled from her hospital bed.
“Just a disguise to get close to you. To watch you,” she explained. She tossed Emerson on the ground. “But that’s not what we’ve come here for, now is it?”
“Ginny?” Leni got out, still crumpled on the ground.
Ginny smiled and waved but said nothing.
“Yes, yes. These are my companions. They are here to help with the test. Your mother is the motivation, to get you to participate willingly.”
Though Debra couldn’t speak, she shook her head and mouthed, “No.”
Leni had no idea how to fight them off. She couldn’t do anything at the moment. Another wave of terror washed over her, making her so weak she fell flat on the deck.
Her grandmother scoffed. “Well, I don’t know if this will make it easier or harder. Get her up and prep her for the test.”
At that, the world went black.
Fourteen
A crow cawed nearby. Leni stirred, weak and battered, vaguely remembering her panic attack, and then piecing in the memories of her grandmother and mom. She clawed herself out of unconsciousness, so she could find out what had become of them, but the panic attack still weighed her down.
It was everything she could do to open her eyes. Focusing on anything in the darkness was another story. All she knew was she was wet. Was she in the pool? With everything she had, she willed herself to move, but found her hands tied behind her. In fact, rope was the only thing holding her upright. Her head lolled to the other side. A pole or a board was behind her, the rope binding her in place. She managed to direct her eyes downward, though every movement sapped her of all her energy. She stood in a cauldron full of water.
Several dark cloaked figures busied themselves nearby. Leni counted them. Thirteen in total. Dammit, her grandmother had enough for the ritual magic.
“This won’t do, yet,” her grandmother said to the others. “I’ll call up the stones.” Her grandmother stood motionless, hands outstretched, eyes closed, and in seconds, the stones from under the ground thrust themselves through the earth. Large rocks jutted upward, forming a mini Stonehenge-like circle around her.
“Better,” her grandmother approved.
Her mother sat on the ground tied to a tree off to the side. Her head fell limply to her chest. She showed no signs of moving, but she was tied which indicated she was probably still alive.
Leni’s mind started to clear. On a normal day, her attack would leave her weak and wiped out for hours. This one was no different. She was grateful for the ropes holding her up. They saved her the strength.
“Circle up,” her grandmother said to the others, and they gathered around her.
There wasn’t much time, but she’d try to stall in case Diana and the others knew where she was. In case they knew her grandmother had arrived. She had no idea, but she couldn’t just let this happen, let the ritual begin.
Another crow sounded in the distance.
“You tracked me through my teddy bear?” Leni managed to get out loud enough for her grandmother to hear.
“She’s awake. Good. The tests go better that way.”
“Did you?” Leni said, forcing a strength in her voice she didn’t truly feel.
“Yes, dear, I did.”
Leni eyed the older woman as she approached. “You’re my grandmother?”
“That I am.” Katherine stepped up to her and crossed her arms. Leni regarded the older woman. She was probably around sixty, and not tall, like Diana. Her hair was kept short and was gray rather than red. Her eyes, too, lacked the color that Diana and Debra were blessed with. Katherine’s were cold and gray.
“I remember you. Years ago from the hospital.” She held her head up evenly, using all of her resources to do so.
