Crow Moon, page 11
“I’m home. Why?”
“I’m coming over.”
Before Leni could protest, the line went dead. She frowned, not sure he knew where she lived, but she had mentioned the Bentley Estate. She guessed it was more famous than she’d thought.
It was a warm gray day for late January, so when she saw him drive up, she hurried to meet him outside on the steps, wanting to shield him from the crazy that was inside.
Ned got out of the car and strode to her, his brown hair in waves and a tan and brown striped scarf tossed casually over his shoulder.
Before he could get out any niceties, Leni preempted him. “What did you say about my father?”
Putting a hand on her elbow, Ned guided her to the vintage park bench that graced the mansion’s overlarge porch. “Sit down.”
If it were anyone but Ned, she’d argue.
“I walked in on your father once in his office. He was reading an old book, which is not unusual for your father, but he jumped when I walked in, as if he’d been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. He slammed the book shut and shoved it in a drawer while never taking his eyes off me, feigning interest in what I’d come to see him about. He was nervous and fidgety the whole time.”
“I don’t get it.”
“I’ve seen the book he was reading since. I’ll never forget what it looked like; he was so intent on getting it out of my sight I couldn’t help but stare. It had a red-leather cover with a gold tribal mask on the front. It also had a strand or a charm with feathers and bones. It was quite elaborate. After his passing, I was looking for his most recent notes in a world lit class I was taking over. I found the book in his desk.”
Leni’s brows were raised, skeptical while she waited for his explanation.
“It was a book on folk magic. That’s the book he was reading and hiding away.”
“So?”
“So I think he was into that. He was from Louisiana after all.”
Leni frowned. “Are you kidding me? That’s it? You acted like you knew my dad was a caster or something.”
“Your dad knew about magic, Leni, and magic users. Why else would he act so suspicious about it?”
“Maybe because he was afraid you’d jump to the wrong conclusion, like you clearly have.” Leni leaned on the porch railing, taking in the estate around her.
“I saw something today in his office. I saw something that can’t be explained by the natural laws of physics.”
She laughed. “I’m the science student. Keep to your books.”
He took her hand in his and stood next to her. “Fine. I know something is going on though. And I know Mr. Dev kept things from you.”
Leni wanted to deny it, but every day she found out something new about her parents.
“What happened today?” Ned pressed.
She took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”
“Did you look at the journal yet?”
She shook her head. So many journals and letters and books. That didn’t even take into consideration her schoolwork. So much to learn. So much to take in. And that was just about her family.
“Okay. I’ll drop it,” he said. “Let’s just go for a walk.”
They walked down the gravel road, leaving the woods alone. Her aunt and Michaels would frown on another woodsy excursion. The conversation turned from the weirdness that had become her life to normal things, school things, lunch, and the weather. The normal things allowed her to breathe. The normal things gave her peace, made her feel still and happy.
After a short while, the wind started to pick up and reminded her it was winter. Ned took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders.
“Leni, I like you. I like spending time with you. You’re smart and sensitive. And now you have this mystery about you.”
“Mystery?” She laughed, but it was true. If only she knew what the mystery was.
“The highlight of my days is meeting you for lunch. I like spending time with you. I don’t know.” He smiled and ran his fingers through his hair. His dark eyes locked on hers as if they couldn’t let go.
Her face flushed. “Me too.”
“Don’t say that. I mean you don’t have to say that just because I did.”
“No, it’s true. I don’t say what I don’t mean.”
He faced her and took her hands in his. “Go out with me. This weekend. Dinner and a play. Macbeth is playing in the city. Will you go with me?”
A broad smile lit up her face. “I can’t wait.”
Her smile must have been contagious because it spread to Ned as well. “Yes!” he said, jumping in the air. “I mean, cool. That’s cool.” He pretended to be nonchalant but gave her a secret smile. “Now can we go inside? I’m freezing.”
They ran back to the house, but she didn’t invite him in. What with her mother’s return and the freaking out they were doing inside, the situation didn’t lend itself to new boyfriend introductions.
“There’s some family stuff going on now,” she said. “How about tomorrow?”
His face fell.
“Really, unexpected family showed up. I should deal with them,” she said.
“Sure. But I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Definitely.”
“Always leave them wanting more,” he said, smiling at her.
She made excuses, kissed him on the cheek, and sent him on his way. She came inside, closing the massive wooden door behind her and leaning against it until she slid all the way to the floor, a smile on her face that wouldn’t go away anytime soon.
Her aunt and her mother hurried in, seeing her on the floor. “My God, Lenore, are you all right?” her mother asked, hurrying to her.
A fit of giggling escaped her and Debra shot a worried stare at Diana. “She’s been cursed.”
“What?” Leni blurted out. “No, I’m just happy.”
Diana looked as baffled as Debra, never having seen Leni in an outward expression of happiness. She shrugged.
“Oh, stop it,” Leni said, pushing herself to stand. “I’m fine. I have a date with a cute guy from school. That’s all. No one’s cursed me.”
“Are you sure that’s it?” her aunt asked. “There are spells that create fits of laughter. Some can even kill you if you can’t catch your breath.”
This made Leni laugh even harder. “My God. No, really. I’m just in a good mood.”
Leni managed to escape up to her room before dinner. She appreciated her alone time. It gave her a chance to recharge, to assess the situation, and regroup. Ned was nice, being in class was nice, but her alone time was important to her. Though she was finding she didn’t want to be alone all the time.
She flipped through the spell book she’d experimented with while she sat cross-legged on her bed. Part of her hungered to cast more spells, to feel the spark of magic in the air, and the other part wanted to keep it out of her life and just go to school and date cute guys. Date Ned. Turning the pages of spells. Light spells, darkness spells, noise-throwing spells, silence spells. She noticed now, after her mother and aunt had explained it, they were divided by their energies. Positive energy spells were listed first, and their darker counterparts were listed below a scroll line at the bottom of the pages. Light or dark or both…or the balance? Which would she choose?
She had no desire to cast any of the negative spells. Darkness, silence, making someone laugh until they suffocated. That wasn’t her. But her grandmother clearly did. She wondered how far back in the book her grandmother had gone.
The book fell open to a familiar place. The tear-stained abandonment spell. Had her mother been trying to help her from here? To make up for what she’d done? And if she had, did it even matter? Could it make up for what had happened?
Leni’d had a happy family. Her mother had left, and things had gone dark for her for a long time. Her depression had eaten up the better part of an entire school year. Lying in a hospital bed, remembering very little of it. Just knowing she had wanted to escape.
Could she trust her mother and let her back into her life? Could she forgive her and get past it? Part of her wanted to, the other part wanted to run back to her brownstone in the city. What could they do? Kick her out of her own house if she took it over prematurely?
“Do good and good will come to you.” She heard her dad’s words in her head. Doing good would entail forgiveness, but Leni wasn’t there yet. Was that wrong? Did that make her a bad person?
She’d come up to her room, giddy. But the dark thoughts crept in, bringing her down. But what happened when they all abandoned her? What happened when her mother disappeared again? What happened when Ned left? What happened when her year was up and she moved?
She’d be abandoned again. And alone. Not the alone by choice in her room for an hour here or there kind of alone, but alone alone.
She shook her head, her long black hair brushing against her shoulders. Being alone was the least of her worries. The grandmother she’d never met should be the most of them. Katherine wanted to use her for her powers, but Leni didn’t even know how to cast. The only time she’d pulled off anything magical, she’d been stressed, and the magic happened around her. How would she know if she was even this balance her grandmother was always looking for?
At dinner with her mother and her aunt, she asked. “You said my grandmother thinks I’m the balance. How do I know if I am?”
Her mother looked to Diana who answered. “There is a test.”
“Okay, then let’s do it and see. Maybe we’ll find out I’m not, and she’ll leave me alone.”
The two other women glanced at one another.
“What? It’s a great plan.”
“It’s not as easy as that, Leni.” Diana broke eye contact to clear the plates from the large dining table they’d used for the first time. “It’s more of a ritual than a test. A lot is involved to put it together.” She disappeared into the kitchen with the dirty dishes.
“Like what?” Leni asked her mother.
“A full moon for one. Other casters, dark casters. And, well…” Debra trailed off.
“Tell me!” A pause fell between them.
“And if you don’t pass the test, you could die,” Diana said, coming back in from the kitchen.
Leni blinked, stunned. “I’m sorry, what? Die?”
Debra nodded. “Some survive, but mother can’t just let them go. They’d be witnesses.”
“Witnesses to what exactly?” Leni asked, her brow furrowed.
Taking a deep breath and sitting opposite Leni, Diana took her hand. “The balance is a female just coming into adulthood. They are all around the same age, the same type. The missing girls you’ve asked about? Some of them were put to the test. From what I understand, none have shown themselves to be the balance. Some haven’t survived, and those who have—”
“Return battered and scratched with their memories wiped,” Leni finished for her, pulling her hand back. “You knew about the missing girls? Why haven’t you gone to the police? Why haven’t you stopped her?”
“Honey, we’ve tried. Your mother and I both. But she’s threatened us and the ones we love. She’s threatened you—”
“And your father,” Debra said, her voice cracking.
“The police couldn’t do anything anyway. It would put them in danger,” Diana said. “Mother won’t stand for anyone getting in her way. The local sheriff’s office would be no match for her and her coven.”
“It could give their family a sense of closure. Some peace.”
“Well, that and two dollars can get them a Coke from the vending machine. Their daughters are still gone or worse. Look, Leni, we know our mother and the casters she works with. We can’t think of a way to stop her that won’t hurt a lot of innocent people. But if you are the balance…” Diana’s voice wandered.
“No. Absolutely not, Di!” Debra said.
“I’m just thinking out loud.”
“No. You will not use my daughter in your personal war!”
“Deb, it’s not just a personal war anymore. Girls go missing more often than ever. She’s hurt Dad and maybe even Rob.” Diana’s eyes went to Leni. “You know what she’s capable of.”
Debra put her hands to her face, shaking her head and muttering “no” over and over. Her mother sniffled before she brought her head up and wiped away the tears. “There has to be another way.”
“If I’m the balance…what?” Leni wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer, but she had to ask the question.
Her mother got up and left the room.
Diana sighed again. “If you or whoever the balance is comes into her power, we have someone who can match our mother. Right now, she’s dangerous. She has blood in her veins that dates to the Salem witch trials and past, to the druids in Wales. Her lineage and her studies and experience give her great strength. But the balance can match that in depth and range of spells. The balance can also take away her powers to some extent.”
“How?”
“Light and dark both have their purposes. One can’t exist without the other. Sunlight and shadows. There is a need for light, but also a need for darkness.”
“What kind of need?”
“Sometimes people need shade from the heat. We need darkness to rest and recharge when we sleep. Sometimes the darkness is good to hide the painful truth from our eyes. Darkness can mask someone hiding with good reason. The balance has the ability to cast light on the darkness and summon shadow from the bright light,” Diana explained.
“The balance could enhance her powers or if used against her, use positive energy to burn through her negative spells.” Debra said this from the doorway. Leni hadn’t noticed her return.
Diana pursed her lips. “The balance can make light from the dark and dark from the light.”
“I’ll start training tomorrow after school,” Leni said.
“School? You can’t go to school,” her mother said.
“Why not? I’ve been going every day already.”
“You shouldn’t have,” her mother said, eyeing Diana.
“If you’ve protected me here, do the same for me there. The only thing I want to do right now is to go to school like Dad wanted me to.”
Nothing more was said on the topic, and Leni spent the night thinking of the burden placed on her and how it could all be for nothing if she wasn’t even this balance they talked about.
Dreams visited her that night. Her father appeared to her, standing and smiling at his desk at home, as she’d seen him doing a million times. She knew deep down it was a dream, but felt like he’d come to visit her, as if he had a reprieve from the afterlife to pop in for coffee. She ran to him and hugged him, clutching him tightly as though she could bring him back from her dream with her to the real world. All the things she wished she’d said ran through her mind. All the things she’d wished she’d done for him and all of her regrets rushed through her, forcing their way out in waves of sobs. He stroked her hair.
Then a voice spoke. “What happens when they are through with you? What happens when they leave?”
This wasn’t her father’s low voice with his slight Midwestern accent. This came from the dream. Before she could catch her breath and answer, she woke up, and all that remained were the tears on her face.
Leni wrapped her arms across her chest, closing herself off. She dried her face with tissue from the nightstand and stilled herself. She still needed her father. That need left her with a pain in her chest and a panic attack ready to surface.
“What happens when they are through with you?” Her aunt and her mother weren’t using her, were they? Her dreams meant something or foretold something. Her mother hadn’t had any use for her for the last eight years. Why now? Why appear so easily? Could she trust anything that came from her mouth when she’d left without a word?
She wished her father had told her more about it, about what he’d known. Assuming they were telling her the truth, he was sort of in on it. Why hadn’t he prepared her?
So many secrets swirled around her. Why so many secrets unless you’re hiding something? Secrets and lies.
She sat in her bed, the moon peeking in through the glass balcony doors. Learning to cast wasn’t a bad thing at this point whether her mother and aunt were using her, or her grandmother was preparing to. Knowledge was power, so knowing what she was capable of could only help, whatever the truth was.
But she wouldn’t put college aside because her aunt and mother were scared of their mother. She’d promised her father she’d go to school. She owed it to him. These new women in her life were just complicating things.
No, her mother wasn’t new in the same way her aunt was, but this version of her was new to Leni. She wasn’t the same as she was eight years ago. And Leni wasn’t the child she was when Debra left.
The situation was important, but so were her promises to her father. For all she knew, her aunt and mother could be delusional or way off base. Leni had to stay on track. It was her life and her decision. She couldn’t let her mother’s eccentric family ruin that. She wouldn’t let her mother ruin her life again.
Ten
She went to school the next day as though everything were normal. She wondered if she needed a bodyguard if this balance thing was true. Her aunt had said they safeguarded the property, but what about when Leni left? Maybe they were right. Maybe she shouldn’t go. Both her mother and aunt had watched her quietly as she’d left that morning. Both with their similar red hair, Diana’s pulled up in a twist and Debra’s down in waves to her shoulders. Both with their green eyes piercing into Leni’s soul. Both so similar yet different. Diana, tall and handsome with stronger features. Debra, smaller with sharper features. It was clear they were sisters. Was it clear Debra was Leni’s mother?
Leni had the smaller features, but darker skin, raven waves of hair, but the same body type. She also had a version of her mother’s green eyes, more gray green than her mother’s after-a-rain green.
She shook it off. She wanted nothing of her mother’s.
Class went without incident, and she headed to her dad’s office to finish up packing. When she walked into the department office, Lorraine stopped her. “Oh Lenore, hang on a second.” She rifled through some notes on her desk. “Someone called for you Friday after you’d already left. A Mrs. Wilson? A package came for you at home. Well at your dad’s home…or your old home,” she stammered.
