This Charming Dilemma, page 2
I’m lying here under the covers of my bed recovering after having my first real bout of morning sickness before Matt drowned me in disinfectant spray contemplating how I am going to pull this off. Matt questioned Millie’s statement about me still not being over the first trimester but lucky for me, Matt’s dumb arse is a few tools short of a tool shed as according to Matt he thought Millie meant I have the 100 day flu, hence why the whole house including the back of my throat and eye sockets smell like pine fresh disinfectant spray.
Millie came to check on me earlier and suggested I tell Brendan sooner rather than later, but I tend to disagree.
I have no doubt that as soon as I tell Brendan and Daryl Loft, the producer of the show, that I am pregnant,
they will pull the idea for the show as fast as Millie’s ability to jump to conclusions every time I open my mouth.
Okay well she has just cause to jump to conclusions most of the time, but this is my opportunity to make something of myself. All I need is a little time to get myself out to the world, get recognised, and when I become a celebrity sensation then I will showcase my belly.
I mean celebrities have babies all the time, doesn’t stop them from being famous.
Millie insists I will get bigger any time now so I have assured her I will tell Brendan and the producers about my pregnancy, but this was just to get her off my back, I am now contemplating how I am going to prevent Millie from talking to Brendan the whole time he is here!
I’m sure a solution will present itself.
So tomorrow is the big day when filming starts on ‘Tales From The Lemonade Stand’, a production crew of three will be here. We have a camera operator, a sound person, and a director. The idea is a reality television show of life in a small town with the focus on me a single ex-city girl in a small town and the trend of young people getting out of the rat race and making a living and blah, blah, they will follow me and the groups involved like the CWA.
As the title suggests our town’s Lemonade Stand has made headlines around the nation, the tall tales from many people stopping to visit is the drawcard. We don’t just sell lemonade, we sell baked goods and souvenirs made by our local ceramic class and wood-turning club. And if Fran’s arthritis isn’t playing up, ugly knitted creations. The stand was originally put up by the CWA members when Betty suggested we raise funds to help out the Crankshaw’s after their family farm house and sheds burnt to the ground in a suspicious fire.
The Stand started off as a fold out table under a pop-up marquee, but now it’s a permanent structure made from the local timber with a very English thatched roof made by locals. Our main custom is the bus-load of workers heading out to the mines in the west, as well as passing tour buses. Our town has become a central refreshment shop. Although we have many cafes and a bakery somehow the Lemonade Stand seems to be the most popular, with people from all walks of life. Seems a bit strange considering we don’t actually sell a lot of lemonade, or ugly knitted creations, or ceramic mugs come to think of it. But Betty is head of marketing and don’t ask me why, but she always seems to make ends meet. In fact it’s more than making ends meet, the Lemonade Stand brings in more profits than any other fund-raising activity the CWA has done since the fiasco of the marijuana filled eye pillows (the CWA was cleared of any wrong-doing due to having no knowledge of selling illegal substances disguised as eye pillows). Betty even moved a motion to get the go ahead to purchase two mobile phones so the members can communicate with each other while tending the Stand.
As the president I didn’t see the need to purchase mobile phones as I didn’t see how they could be useful for such a thing given that all they do is sit behind the Lemonade Stand and chat all day, it’s not like they are running a corporate business that requires communication at all times, but since they weren’t roping me in to baking goods or making ugly knitted creations or really involving me at all (and the fact I was outvoted) the motion was passed and the CWA is the proud owner of two iPhones.
But all my problems aside I really am excited about tomorrow. So I guess I will just have to put the pregnancy aside for now and concentrate on winning my audience over. I have come up with the following plan.
. Meet and charm the Director and crew.
. Pretend I’m not pregnant until I convince Director and crew of my celebrity potential.
. Once my celebrity status has been established then I will reveal that I am with child.
Then I will be the most talked about rural ambassador/ business owner/single mother to hit the women’s magazines.
Perfect.
Except for the single mother part, that kinda doesn’t feel good.
Oh god! I throw myself under the safety of my bed covers again, the excitement dulling as I go into depression mode over my expected bump.
I am convinced this must be Jake’s baby, it cannot be Damo’s because that only happened once, well Jake only happened once too but because Jake’s more mature I think there is a better chance it would be him than Damo, and of course the fact that I can remember my night with Jake so I definitely know the deed was done. But I guess the million dollar question is, should I tell Jake? Because it’s a big deal, I need to be sure. I mean it would be terrible if I told Jake and he got down on one knee to finally declare his love and propose marriage only to find out when baby arrives that he/she has Damo’s blond locks not Jake’s dark complexion. I mean how awkward would that be.
But if I tell either of them now, then they will definitely have a much lower opinion of me then they have right now, I mean this skeleton in my closet could potentially ruin my proposed clean-cut celebrity status.
Groaning at my revelations I roll over under my covers, I cannot believe I ended up as one of those people who will have to have paternity tests to reveal who my baby’s father is. Where did my life go so horribly wrong? It’s not only Damo and Jake, I also had a drunken encounter with Matt when I first moved here. When did I get so promiscuous? I mean I was brought up in a stable environment, okay I was an only child but I was never spoilt. And Mum made sure I always had my cousin Mark around for company, even though he was obsessively into Dungeons and Dragons, wore heavy green knitted jumpers and ate his own snot, he was still around like a brother would be, so I know I don’t have men issues.
I was never like this in the city, in the city I was always a one-man woman, and never ever would I contemplate going to bed with any of them until the relationship was established. Yes I admit I shouldn’t drink alcohol due to my ability to lose memory as soon as a glass touches my lips but I was never promiscuous when that happened either. In fact when I did drink too much, I always had Millie around to throw me in a taxi and send me home alone so the chance to make drunken mistakes was never there.
No, this only started when I moved to the country, and Millie became preoccupied with the house renovations, getting married and having babies. And considering that it was Millie that convinced me – no – forced me, to move here in the beginning to face my tiny mistake of buying a rural property (out of love I might add), then it’s all her doing!
Millie and the fresh country air has forced me to drink more and sleep with random men!
Oh speak of the devil.
‘Are you okay?’ Millie asked after knocking faintly before entering, ‘I bought you some tea and dry crackers.’
‘It’s all your fault Millie!’ I mumbled from the depths of my bed covers.
‘What’s my fault?’ she asks as I feel her fluffing up my pillows.
‘That I am such a drunken free-giver when it comes to men. If you hadn’t forced me to move here none of this would happened.’
‘And that’s my fault?’ said Millie, ‘wow and it’s only 9.45 in the morning, now sit up and try this,’ she said peeling back the covers from my head, ‘it’s ginger tea, it may help. Let’s see if you can start the morning over again.’
Despite myself, I sat up and took a sip of her tea, the aroma settled me down straight away, its times like this that I can almost forgive Millie for turning me into a country hussy.
‘So what are you blaming me for now?’ asked Millie clearing a space on my bed to sit down, ‘your drunken free-giving ways?’
‘What have I become?’I sniffed to Millie, wrapping the corner of my bedsheets around my finger, ‘I’m pregnant and don’t even know who the father is. It wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t tell me to move here,’ I said in a tiny voice to lessen the impact of blaming Millie.
‘Oh my god,’ Millie laughed, ‘okay I’ve heard it all now, drag you off into the fresh air of the countryside, take my eye off you for a second and you go and accidentally have sex.’
‘Well when you put it like that Millie…’ I said.
‘Lisa, your problem is, that you just get too passionate with the moment and don’t stop and think about the consequences of your decisions,’ said Millie,
picking up the heaped clothes on the edge of my bed and beginning to fold them, ‘yes you shouldn’t go near alcohol with a ten foot iron stripper pole, I had spent countless nights putting you into a taxi whenever you had a epiphany to change the world, that was the cue you’d had enough to drink. But you’re a big girl now,’ Millie said in her sarcastic tone, ‘so stand up, face the wrath of your poor drunken decisions, and look at the positives.’
Bloody Millie’s answer to everything. Look at the positives.
‘Well I didn’t ask to get pregnant!’ I said, resisting her positive attitude and folding my arms across my chest.
‘Yes you did,’ Millie scoffed, ‘that’s all I’ve heard for the past two years, how much you wanted a baby, didn’t you even write a letter to the universe requesting one? Well now you are having one, which is fantastic, and the best bit is you won’t have any more drunken sexual encounters for the next five months cos you won’t be able to drink,’ she beamed.
Oh my god that’s right, another whole five months to go of no alcohol, my life is definitely over.
‘You also have helped build this place into a working B&B and built a successful business with Daniel,’ continued Millie, ignoring the look of devastation on my face. ‘And tomorrow you have a camera crew coming because for some reason they find you an interesting drama queen.
So if you are still telling me all that was all my fault then I am truly humbled Lisa, you are so welcome but I really cannot take all the credit for your success.’
I don’t know what to say as I know Millie is right, so I just fold my arms across my chest tighter.
‘Anyway, drink up,’ said Millie, getting off the bed and smoothing the covers out where she sat, Millie’s such a mum. She never used to be like this, but ever since Amy came along she does things like… folds washing, brings me tea and fluffs pillows, ‘remember you have a CWA meeting in half an hour.’
Shit, bugger, damn! I totally forgot about that, god, of all days it’s when I’m having a self loathing and morning sickness day.
‘Well you have to get prepared for tomorrow,’ said Millie reading my facial expression, ‘the CWA are a big part of this reality show as well, as their president you have to make sure they know what is going on.’
‘Can’t you go for me?’ I moan, slumping back into my pillow feeling fragile.
‘Nope your deal, your dealings,’ said Millie, making her way to the door, ‘Betty just phoned, said to pass on to you that Jake’s bringing down the old banners that Mrs Crankshaw had in the old shed, the one that didn’t burn down, so he needs someone there to meet him to let him in.’
Driving frantically towards CWA meeting place.
I feel so much better after Millie’s tea, I leapt out of bed before Millie even had time to leave the room and of course Millie also made things easier by having folded my clothes so it made it so much easier to find stuff to wear, which cut down a lot of time. Gotta love Millie even though she commented about my speedy interest in getting to the CWA meeting by stating there was nothing like the prospect of a certain male presence to motivate me to get to the meeting, but that’s not why I’m keen to get there!
Okay, it’s a tiny bit of the reason I am keen to get there.
I haven’t really seen Jake since the Crankshaw farm burnt down.
Yes we slept together and it really looked like we would be getting back together as he seemed really keen to build a relationship, I mean hell, since he came back, we spent a total of three nights together and two of those nights we did nothing but play scrabble! Not to mention the text messages and late night phone calls in between, and the fact he was the only applicant to apply for my dating show, so you know, there was potential there for a relationship. But since his Aunty and Uncle’s farm burnt down, Jake has been withdrawn and apparently not really talking to anyone except his brother Rick and Mr Gough from the hardware store when he gets his gas bottle refill for his caravan.
Not that I have been stalking him or anything,
but it’s been almost five months since our big love-making night and the fire and I cannot understand why he’s withdrawn like a hermit? I know he was a bit annoyed that his Aunty and Uncle, Mr and Mrs Crankshaw, decided to split, leaving Jake to deal with the investigation and with no chance of any insurance payout due to the fact that it seems the Crankshaw’s may have burnt down the farm themselves, but he is also ignoring offers of support from everyone. I gave up on Jake when he didn’t return my calls, or text messages, or answer the door to his caravan which he has parked amongst the charred remains of the farm.
Rumour also has it that he had to sell off some of the dairy herd too, so by the sounds of things poor Jake is left holding things together and I really wish he would let me come out and see him. Thank god I had the up and coming reality show to distract me from becoming obsessed with seeking answers from him.
I see him around town occasionally and I do get a wave or some form of acknowledgement, but I haven’t really had a chance to “bump” into him. I mean I don’t know if he even knows about the reality TV show.
Pfft, who am I kidding, of course he would know, I did a mail drop after all.
And then of course there was the local paper.
But if I am going to declare to him that there is a fifty percent chance I am with his child, then I am going to have to break the ice somewhere, sometime.
I arrived at the CWA building, which used to be the old scout building. Jake’s ute is already there, parked at the side of the building near the back door. I’m also grateful I am the first one here, well I know I’m the first one here cos I passed Fran in her Nissan Micra four blocks ago.
I waved out to him when he acknowledges my arrival by climbing out of his ute. Signalling to him that I will have to go through the front door to unlock the back door for him, my knees are starting to go shaky with the prospect that I would be able to – you know – well, talk to him again. I unlocked the heavy door and made my way through the musty hall towards the back. Okay now whatever I do I must be poised calm and not act like I may be carrying his baby and need to pin him down so we can arrange a wedding date soon. No, I must treat him like an old friend that I have had many naked relations with, hmm no, I need to treat him like he is on the ten most wanted list, no that’s not going to work either, too cautious, okay I need to treat him like he is my father.
Oh god, no, no, no, abort mental image.
I got it, I’ll just treat him like he is a random delivery person.
Whom I want to jump all over.
Oh god I hope that is the hormones talking and not actually due to Jake’s intoxicating presence.
Actually I think I’m going to be sick again. Okay no big deal, it’s only Jake waiting patiently behind that door.
‘Lisa,’ barked Fran, coming up behind me causing me to almost deliver an embryo right there on the spot, ‘what is with you? I was driving down Lake Road heading here when you sped past me on the inside lane, could have caused an accident if I was turning, and the speed you were going!’ Fran huffed, ‘honestly Lisa where did you get your licence?’
‘I wasn’t going that fast,’ I scoffed.
‘And what was up with you beeping your horn at old Errol as he was trying to get his push bike across the road?’ Fran continued, ‘almost ran over him, honestly you young ones have no respect for the road, not to mention wearing your tyres out. Were you late for an important date or something, if I didn’t know any better I would say you were quite keen to get here.’
‘I just wanted to um… make sure the door was unlocked you know, so you people are not standing round outside cos you know, brrrr is a bit chilly out,’ my face is burning red at my lies.
‘What are you talking about? It’s 27 degrees out there now. Are you going to let poor Jake stand out there all day?’
‘Um no,’ I said, fiddling with the key in the old lock.
Bugger Fran for turning up so quickly. The only reason I sped past her was so I could get a chance to break the ice with Jake first.
I opened the door to Jake standing there supporting a long wooden sign under his arm.
Slapping the sweetest but “seeing you is no big deal” smile on my face as I greeted him, I almost threw up when he gave me a soft and friendly greeting back.
‘Ah perfect,’ said Fran as she observed the sign Jake carried past her to place it at the front of the room, ‘I was hoping Barb still had that.’
‘Another couple to go,’ Jake said, ‘I also found the original you were after Fran.’
‘Such a good lad,’ said Fran, marvelling at Jake’s news as he gave her a smile and headed back out to his ute. I’m standing there like a dummy not sure what to say or do.
‘Is that the signs?’ exclaimed Betty, as she made her entrance, clapping at the sight of a wooden board, ‘oh hurrah, look girls it’s the signs.’
Equal amounts of joy were expressed as Mary, Gloria and Maggie also made appearances.
