Suspended Desires, page 13
The next morning, we leave the house and take the two-hour drive. Then we pull up in the all-too-familiar driveway. Even with the boarded-up windows and overgrown plants, the house is still breathtaking.
Willow is quiet, so I grab her hand and ask, “You ready?” Once she confirms with a nod, I exit and round the car, opening her door and taking her hand in mine. The walk is silent, apart from her deep breaths and the sounds of the birds chirping.
Until Austin, Tommy, and Lucas arrive in the other car, having followed us here. They come rushing up behind us, falling into pace as we all climb the stairs. I see Willow offer them a small smile, and I give her hand a little squeeze. I pull out the key, pushing the doors open for the boys to do a quick check of the place before Willow and I enter.
“They’re making sure no one else is hiding in here.” I laugh as I look to Willow, who appears confused.
She giggles, covering her mouth as she replies, “Well, with your state-of-the-art security system, you should already know.” Then she rolls her eyes.
The boys come back, giving the all-clear as we finally cross the threshold. My mind is flooded with images of the past as I can hear my mum’s voice calling from the kitchen.
“Tristan, sweetheart, dinner is ready.”
I smile to myself at the memory as I turn on the lights.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I watch Tristan’s face take on that wistful look, and I smile up into his gorgeous green eyes, knowing he’s recalling all the memories he had in this place. I grab his hand as we follow the boys into the kitchen.
Tommy states that we need to go through some files, looking for any hidden detail on Tristan’s ancestry. He suggests they are probably in the library, where Albert Alexander kept all his most precious keepsakes. Tristan never had a reason to sort through them before. He always thought he knew everything he needed to know about his family’s past.
We all make our way to the library. I remember the layout well from my first trip here. I push open the large door, waiting for everyone to enter.
Austin stops at the threshold, telling us he’s going to stop at the cellar first. He turns to me and says, “Just going to get a nice bottle of red for the task at hand.”
Tristan nods. “Nice, see you soon. There should still be some wine glasses in the mini bar in here, so no need to go find any in the kitchen.”
With that, I shut the door behind the others. Tristan grabs my hand, and we make our way to the big desk at the side of the room.
He opens the first drawer and begins pulling out handfuls of folders and separating them into piles, passing us a pile each. I move towards the couch and take a seat with my legs crossed and tucked up under me. I pull the top file into my lap and start flipping through the contents.
It’s nothing important, just random reports on this and that. Once I’ve finished flipping through them all, looking for anything of interest and finding nothing, I get up to stretch my legs. I walk to the bar, pour myself a refill of wine, and head back to the desk where Tristan is deep in thought. He’s reading over a file in the same spot where I imagine Albert did his best work. I lay a quick kiss to his forehead, and he looks up at me, placing the file onto the desk and pulling me into his lap.
He brushes my hair out of my face, giving my lips a kiss. “Are you good?” he asks. “Once we stop for a lunch break, I’ll show you around some more.”
I nod my head. “Sounds nice.” I place another kiss on his lips, climb off his lap, to grab another pile of files, and make my way back to my spot. Placing my wine glass on the small, round, dark wood side table beside the comfy couch, I start the process again. The hours tick by, everyone silent as they search for… something. What? I have no idea, but I’m sure once we find it, we’ll know.
Picking up my wine glass, I take a big gulp and stretch my arms in the air, moving my sleepy legs that have gone numb under my bum. Then I pull another file off the top, freezing as I read through it again, and look up with a gasp. Everyone immediately rushes to my side.
“What is it, Willow?” Tristan asks as he pulls up a seat beside me.
“I think I found something in this file. It looks like it’s your parents’ marriage licence. It lists your father’s last name as… Maxwell.” Once those words leave my mouth, Tristan lets out a pained groan. Which has my heart aching in my chest. I know he didn’t want it to be true. Even if, deep down, we both knew it was. I could see the family resemblance between Tristan and Isaac. There was just something very similar in their features.
Tristan takes the paper from my hand and inspects it himself. Then I pass him the next one. Which has their name changes on it, clearly stating his father took his mother’s name instead.
Tommy lays a hand on Tristan’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. They are such good friends. It reminds me of my and Hazel’s relationship. Not related by blood, but the real family we choose to have in our lives.
Tristan places the documents aside to take with us and stands. “Shall we go have lunch? Lucas just messaged that he’s back from the local bakery with some treats,” he announces, at the same moment my belly rumbles.
Hmm, food. Yes, I could totally eat.
I follow the boys out the door, and when we get to the kitchen, I realise I left my wine in the library, so I inform them I will just be a second. I weave through the corridors towards the library, with the overwhelming feeling that I’m missing something sitting heavy in my gut. I pause, looking around the room. It’s almost as if I can sense my mother’s presence, as if she’s trying to tell me something.
Closing my eyes, I take in a deep breath and try to relax my thoughts. Wine. That’s what I came to get. Fluttering my eyelashes open again, I see the book my mum used to read to me as a child, my favourite. It’s the one that got me started on books in the first place, The Poky Little Puppy. And it’s staring right at me. I step forward, pulling it from the shelf and blowing the dust that’s formed on the edges. I rub a hand over the cover while memories of the childhood I lost replay in my mind.
I wipe a stray tear from my face as I take my seat one more time, forgetting why I came here in the first place and that I was super hungry just a few minutes ago. Opening the book, I start reading. I’m halfway through the story when the next few pages are cut out with a USB file sitting inside. Without realising that I’m full-blown crying with thoughts of my mother dancing in my head, I jump with a start as a hand lands on my shoulder. Looking up, I’m met by Tristan’s all-too-gorgeous green eyes.
He gently pulls me into him. “Willow, what happened?”
He rubs my tears away, kissing my forehead, and slowly rocks me back and forward on his lap. I pull myself together and start explaining what happened when I went looking for my wine. I turn to the page and show him the USB I just found and haven’t had a chance to inspect. We snuggle for a bit longer, and then grab the book and make our way hand in hand to the kitchen. Tristan has the book snug under his arm.
When we enter the kitchen, everyone’s chatter stops as they look into my face, seeing my red eyes and knowing I’ve been crying. Concern seems to mar everyone’s features, but they remain quiet. Tristan informs them about my find, and Lucas leaves the room, heading back to the car to grab Tristan’s laptop. I feel myself relax again and pick up a gorgeous homemade sausage roll. I’m making a total mess as the golden-brown puff pastry falls all over me.
But, man, is it delicious. We have to visit that bakery more often. “This is amazing,” I say around a mouthful. “That was the best sausage roll I’ve ever had the pleasure of eating.”
The boys burst out laughing as Austin says, “From crying to enjoying the best sausage roll ever. You really are something else, Willow. Always finding a little bubble of joy amidst the difficult things.”
Tristan grins. “Yes, they were my mum’s favourite too. The bakery around the corner has been owned by Mrs Parker since I was a little boy. She used to show up with treats every time she came to the house when my parents were still alive. She and Mum were the best of friends, always hanging out, drinking wine, and eating at sunset whenever we would visit my uncle.”
“Oh yeah, that reminds me,” Lucas interrupts. “She wants to see you. When I stopped in, she knew you were in town too. I told her it was just a quick visit, but that we would be back soon to see her.”
Tristan nods his head in acknowledgement. “Well, looks like we have even more of a reason to return, seeing how this girl devoured her food.”
I smile up at him. “By devoured, you mean ate pleasantly, like a lady.”
He lets out a deep belly laugh, a sound that seems to lighten my soul as he points a finger at the mess I’ve made.
I smile and slap his hand away. “That wasn’t my fault. The pastry was just too flaky and perfect. It made the mess all on its own, no help needed.”
The way they each eye me and nod in agreement has us all bursting out laughing again. By the time the laughter finally dies down, my belly hurts. I take a deep breath and sigh loudly. I love these guys. They never fail to make me smile.
We decide to go for a walk after lunch, stretch our legs out before opening the laptop and seeing what is on that USB. Tristan takes me out the back door of the house onto the veranda overlooking the beautiful garden with a stunning fountain in the centre. It’s a little overgrown now, but you can imagine how glorious it all was back in its day. We take in the scenery in silence for a moment, and when I start making my way down the stone stairs, Tristan follows me. I stroll through the overgrown shrubs and run a hand along the rough concrete at the lip of the fountain. It's empty apart from a little bit of smelly, green, stale water in the bottom.
“This is gorgeous. I will have to get it all working again,” Tristan says. “You would have loved it when the landscaping was all maintained, highlighting its former beauty, and glowing in the night with a pink light.”
We walk around and talk, Tristan recounting various memories from his youth. I love hearing his stories. He had such a normal childhood, unlike mine, which was spent jumping from city to city. It makes me wistful and has me wanting to raise a little family of my own in this very place.
We make our way back to the kitchen, where the boys are all waiting on us. Once we are all seated around the table, the laptop hums to life as I push the USB into the port. The air is tense as everyone wonders what we might find. Tristan grabs my hand, and I freeze as my mother’s face lights up the screen. Her beautiful smile and big brown eyes are just like mine. She laughs as she spins me around. I look like I’m coming up on five, so it must be shortly before her death.
“Why would your uncle have this video, Tristan?” I’m confused as to how our families are so entwined. There is nothing else on the video, just me and Mumma playing on the grounds. I still. “Tristan, is that here?”
He nods. “Yes, not far from where I just took you. Just a little farther back in the garden area,” he explains. I stare at him in confusion, and it’s like he reads my mind as he shrugs. “I don’t know either, Willow. I can’t remember meeting you as a child, which I am certain I would have if I had.”
“Looks like my grandfather hasn’t told us everything.” I sigh. “He must know more than he’s letting on. We should video call him tomorrow morning. Surely, he has more details of what happened and why our families were this close.”
It’s getting late, and it’s been a big day, so we head back to the cars with the few folders of interest and the book and USB in tow.
Once we get back to the apartment a few hours later, Tristan and I shower. Then he pulls me into his big arms in bed. I feel so protected whenever I’m with him, and I can’t imagine my life without him in it now. We just click, every piece of us falling into an effortless routine. Our lives have combined as one, almost as if it has always been us against the world.
Letting out a contented sigh, I fall into a deep sleep in his arms. However, I wake to a cold spot beside me in the morning. I frown, jump into the shower, and then head to the kitchen. I can smell freshly brewed coffee and bacon cooking. I sit on the stool beside Tristan. He leans over, kissing me, and pushes a mug and plate towards me. He’s super quiet this morning as he eats and drinks. I let him have his silence, knowing that the phone call we will make soon may include a lot of truths we both don’t want to hear.
I wash off our plates in the sink, laying them on the side to air dry. Tristan’s big, strong arms come around my waist, and the soft kisses placed on my neck have me moaning. He smells so good, surrounding my senses with his touch, smell, and every delicious thing about him. I get lost in him. Turning around, I snuggle into his chest and smile up into his face. He leans down, slowly taking my mouth with his. He deepens the kiss, and I can feel all his emotions in the gesture. His uncertainty and troubled thoughts in this kiss.
I pull back. “This changes nothing, Tristan. No matter what we find out today, we will be together. You and me against the world.” I cup his face and pull him down to me, kissing him with all I have while hoping he can feel the truth of my words on my lips.
Our heated kisses turn into messy lovemaking on the kitchen island. Once we clean up and re-shower, we make our way to the balcony. We each take a seat on one of the chairs overlooking the beautiful city skyline and make the call we’ve been dreading. My grandfather’s grinning face pops up on the laptop. “Willow. Tristan. What a pleasure. I wasn’t expecting a call from you.”
“Hi, grandad.” I smile at him. We have a quick catch up, him telling us how Monaco is going and confirming the circus will be making their way close to us again soon. This makes my heart happy. I ask about Hazel. I miss her so much. I wish she could come be with me every day, but I know she has her job in the circus. Especially with my absence. She’s needed to take my place.
Tristan clears his throat. “Carlos, we need some answers. We found some information yesterday, and we need to know more about it.”
I start by explaining how we came across the video of Mumma and me playing together at the Alexander mansion.
My grandfather releases a long sigh, and Tristan urges, “Carlos, we need to know everything, no matter how bad it is. So we can carry on and also confront Isaac.”
Before my grandfather can properly respond, I interrupt, grabbing my face in my hands and covering my eyes. “Oh god, please, tell us we’re not related?”
My grandfather laughs. “I can confirm you are not related.”
Tristan and I each release a breath we didn’t realise we were holding. Looking over at the love of my life, I smile.
And my grandfather starts again, his voice hesitant. “Isaac, Albert, and I grew up together. We were best friends, and even started this circus as business partners. We were so close—similar to the bond you, Tommy, and Austin share,” he tells Tristan.
I’m saddened by the thought that my grandfather could go from being that close with some friends, to total enemies who blackmail each other for control of their kids. Then I gasp when his words finally sink in. “You started the circus together?”
He nods at my question. “Yes, we came up with the idea and made it work. Of course, Albert's brilliance meant he would handle the business side while Isaac and I put the rest into motion. We hit the ground running and the circus became an overnight sensation. Something the world had never seen before. Everyone wanted a piece of us.”
He pauses with another long sigh.
“We didn’t expect it. It had been a pipe dream that somehow became our reality. And that was when things began to change. By then, we had followers all over the world, and our name was widespread. Everyone knew who we were. The revenue was unbelievable, and everyone started to take interest, wanting a piece of our hard-earned money. I don’t think we were prepared for all the trouble it would cause.”
My grandfather shakes his head before continuing, as though he’s lost in a memory.
“Albert and I suspected Isaac was up to something. He was acting differently on the phone, lowering his voice when we were around or he’d flat-out stop speaking midconversation. We asked him about it, but the man was family. Our best friend. We grew up with him and wanted to believe what he said, so we pushed down all our doubts and concerns and took his word for it. As time went on, we knew something was wrong but didn’t understand. There was also this new circus around, sparking a fierce competition that had them copying many of our acts. Whenever the subject was brought up, Isaac would just laugh and tell us not to worry about them. That they would never be as good as us.
“The whole time, we had no idea he was stealing from us. That new circus was his, a business he started on his own, without us. He had somehow gotten tangled up in the criminal underground. How that happened, we don’t know. We never did manage to figure that out either, but it didn’t matter. Because it was too late. We had no choice but to push Isaac out. Albert was discouraged by all the back and forth and decided he was done as well. I paid him for his share in our partnership, and he settled down in that mansion you love so much. But I could never get rid of Isaac entirely.
“Your mother had already fallen in love with his second-in-command, which created a rift between your mother and me. I was trying to keep her safe, but that just had her fighting me harder. And before I knew it, she was slipping out of my grip and into what we all know now as the Maxwell Circus. That was the day she ran with you.
“I received word from one of my men, who was still loyal to me but was keeping an eye on Isaac’s camp, that she was there. He overheard a conversation. They planned to kill your mother that night, Willow, and raise you as their own. Apparently the grandson who was born, which we now know is Tristan, was meant to be raised by Isaac too, but the kid disappeared. His parents had changed their names and ran. Little did Isaac know they were right under his nose the whole time, living with Albert.
