The Final Lesson, page 31
part #1 of The Final Lesson Series
They bypassed Lunare without a glance, too focused on the mission at hand, but Rem found himself questioning what could have driven someone so far that they needed to stomp on anyone in their path to achieving their goal. The circumstances of misfortune wrought upon Lunare were reminiscent of Linmus, and per Gale, Lunious was the culprit. Lunious himself didn’t appear powerful on the surface. What if he was holding back the entire time?
“Just past here,” Gale told the two as they stepped through the forest of ashen trees. Rem dropped his barrier, his arms and body exhausted. The storm was continuing to brew strong atop the trees, coating them in the cold water, but it wasn’t nearly as drenching. The rainwater did little to cleanse the trees, the soot practically ingrained into the soil and branches that kept the trees standing for longer than necessary.
Solus trained his hearing on the water splashing in the puddles beneath his feet, Gale’s words distant. Any steps unlike his own that didn’t fall in line with his comrades were bound to be a sign that there was someone waiting in the shadows. Lunious wasn’t a fierce opponent, but one encounter was enough to warrant a warning signal in his mind—he was going to come back stronger someday.
Gale suddenly stopped walking, taking a step back when the sight in front of him became clear. “No…” The single word had barely brushed past his lips before Rem shoved him aside. Solus wasn’t far behind, and both boys simultaneously grew quiet.
Seated under a pillar was a girl clutching a folded black coat for dear life, her dark hair sinking over her lifeless eyes. Further above were an array of shards, the color washed away from the metal. Her shoes were tossed aside, the elastics torn apart under the pressures of the rainstorm. Her body was soaked to the bone, shivers rushing down her spine. The noticeable quivers were enough to send Solus running to her side, resting his hands on her shoulders.
“Leilana, I’m here.” She didn’t look up, and the lack of acknowledgment made his heart sink. “It’s me, Solus,” he continued, his tone almost pleading for her to hear him. “Rem and Gale are here too, we… we were worried about you. We hadn’t heard from you in days, and Gale said that you were attacked. We wanted to come sooner, but we didn’t know where to find you, and I just-”
Stop, he told himself. Just stop.
He lowered his head, biting his bottom lip. No amount of words seemed to rouse her. He had failed her, and now there was no bringing her back.
Cold fingertips grazing his wrist told him otherwise. She was reaching out to him, grasping his sleeve despite the rest of her body language remaining unchanged. The folded cloak went slack, resting at her side rather than in her arms. A single touch reminded him that she wasn’t going anywhere. A faint aura was beginning to surround his body, noticeable to himself, but barely striking his thoughts.
Rem stepped over to Solus and Leilana. “She’s gonna be okay, right?”
“Yeah,” Solus said softly, eyes still on Leilana. She lacked energy, the weight of the rainwater on her shoulders as hefty as the thoughts on her mind. They weren’t aware of every detail, but something was plaguing her deeply, and there was nothing more to ease her. “We’ll do everything to help.”
“The two of you, go back the way that you came,” Gale stated. “There’s something that I must finish here. Have Sien draw a hot bath and dry off as soon as you arrive. We have a long night ahead.”
“Thank you.” Solus gathered Leilana into his arms, and the extra weight of her wet clothes became noticeable. Her arms were limp against him, her dripping hair sliding over his left wrist while his right arm was carefully supporting her weight. For the first time, he caught her staring at him. Her eyes were half-lidded, her rosy cheeks a cozy shade. Rem carried the folded cloak over his right shoulder.
“Where do you think that her book went?” Rem asked after the two exited the forest, cracking his knuckles before conjuring up yet another barrier to keep the two from getting too wet.
“I don’t think now is the right time to talk about it,” Solus said softly. “It’s been an emotional time for Leilana. We’d best keep quiet on the subject.” Rem nodded in agreement.
Solus looked at the forest. It wasn’t difficult to piece together the sequence of events since Lunious’s departure, just as it was easy to comprehend his companion’s overabundant emotions. Her support system was wavering between the war, an array of crises, and even the lack of proper communication, which is likely why she didn’t consider coming back to them, letting everyone know that she was all right. Maybe she wasn’t as open with them as Solus wanted to believe.
“It isn’t your fault, you know,” Rem said, continuing to push forward with his barrier intact. “The way she feels, it has nothing to do with any of us. Not really. Sure, we could have done more to help, but all that we can do now for her is make sure that she can push past this.”
“Rem…” Solus sighed, a grin overlapping his pursed lips. “You’ve grown up.”
Rem raised an eyebrow, his focus nearly shattering. “Wouldn’t say that. I just know how it feels to lose someone important. But enough talk, gotta keep my attention on one thing at a time.”
“Right, my apologies.”
Gale’s house was silent when the two boys stepped inside, drenched from the downpour, mud-stained spots left behind at the entrance. Rem’s barrier dropped only minutes before, and they ended up having to break into a sprint. Solus draped his jacket over Leilana’s body in advance, shielding most of her body from the cold rain, tossing the wet fabric aside after reaching dry territory.
“Rem!” Sien called, racing to the entrance where the boys stood, reclaiming their breaths and setting to removing wet articles of clothing bit by bit.
“Leilana!” Rula exclaimed, leaping from Sien’s shoulder to approach Solus. The young Dirionus whimpered at the younger girl’s condition, burying his face beneath his paws.
Sien was baffled by the change of pace, resting her hands on her hips. “I just—what happened out there? Why’s Leidibug out of commission?” Rem was confused by the nickname, but instead of addressing it, he brushed it off.
“Sien,” Rem began, slowly holding up a finger before leaning his head against the nearby wall, tossing his soaked shirt aside. The words came out almost scraggly, “Gale says to run a hot bath. We have a hell of a night ahead.”
Sien turned her back to the two, covering her burning cheeks. “Hey, prince or not, don’t just go around stripping whenever you feel like it!” She looked down at Rula, whispering, “H-Hey, don’t mope, make yourself useful, go tell Luna to run a bath!” Rula silently left, tail between his legs.
“Can we avoid mishaps when we’re not on the verge of catching our death?” Solus suggested.
“I’ll watch Leilana for a while and see if I can get her to snap out of it,” Rem stated. Solus carefully placed the girl on his back, and Rem tucked his arms under her knees, allowing the girl to rest her head on his shoulder, nuzzling her face against his. Rem’s face reddened at the close contact before he groaned, disappearing into one of the guest rooms.
Solus’s hand lingered over the buttons of his dress shirt. His ribbon was soaked to the brim, tied around his wrist, and his hair was becoming stringy and unmanageable. Of all the things to potentially relieve him of thought, mundane chores were all that he could use to avoid Rem’s blunt words. It hadn’t been his fault, seeing Leilana fragmented over spilled ashes, but in the weeks they had come to know one another, he’d hoped for something better.
At the same time, she saw the chemistry she shared with Rem. She desired to become closer to him but didn’t pull away from Solus’s intimacy either. Maybe he was moving too fast after all. Or maybe he was just fooling himself, thinking that a girl could fall in love with a servant, especially when their relationship altogether was taboo. She possessed magic as an Arcana, and he was a mere human. His feelings were conflicting with his ambitions, and with her pilgrimage.
“Hey.” Sien was staring at him, laced with concern, but far was he from startled. “Leidibug’s not the only person that looks under the weather. Are you going to be all right?”
Solus opened his mouth to address her, but the words wouldn’t form. Was he going to be okay sitting back and letting things continue to unfold as they have?
“I’m fine,” he settled with. “I just need some time to think.” He started gathering the wet clothes left on the floor. “I’m going to dry these off if that’s all right.”
Sien wanted to interject and convince him otherwise, but by then, he departed. With a sigh, she leaned against the door, drumming her fingers on the wood. There were so many jokes stirring in her mind that she wanted to bring up, returning the cool smile to his face in the process, but now it seemed that laughter was going to be lost to the wind. The tiny home latched onto utter silence in a matter of minutes, and no amount of fun could restore it.
What a shame. This adventure seemed promising, and it was gliding on rocky territory.
Time drifted by before she decided to check up on Rem and Leilana, finding that Rem was already gone. Luna must have finished running his bath sooner than anticipated. Leilana was seated upright on the bed with a blanket halfway covering her, clothed in a long-sleeved white nightgown, her short hair tied into two braids that reached her shoulders, still dripping wet. She was blankly staring at the teal sheets; she didn’t even appear to be ‘all there’ due to the void expression on her face. Her thoughts must have been trapping her in a state of disarray.
“Leidibug.” Sien stepped to the bed and reached out a hand to her. One wave and no reaction received. Sien knelt at her bedside, placing her hands on hers. There were no words that could convey Sien’s thoughts but leaving Leilana alone in this state was far more dangerous.
The pain was inevitable, but suffering needed to be shared amongst many.
The night was uncomfortably still, not a creak out of place in the household. Gale returned hours after Solus and Rem, pieces of the broken urn wrapped securely in his raincoat. Late into the evening, Sien would catch him trying to glue them together only to become emotional and stop to regain himself. The sound of his stifled sobs plagued her mind, and she ended up having to room with Luna just to manage decent sleep.
Rem took the first shift watching over Leilana to ensure that she didn’t suffer a mental breakdown, but it was clear from her behavior that she wasn’t acknowledging his presence. Upon waking, she curled herself under the blankets further, hysterically sobbing. She refused to eat or drink, and any words spoken to her were lost. Rem couldn’t stand seeing how miserable she was. He was so close, yet so far from her. In the air of the night, she lost control.
Tonight, she was more human than ever before.
Ennis Erovina was no more and hadn’t been for years. Leilana knew. Word of the Warlords reached even the deafest ears. But what did remain of him was what tore her to pieces. The ashes that carried on his virtuous spirit, blown away. The urn that housed them, shattered.
The anguish went on for fifteen minutes before Rem gave up on letting her work things out herself. He crawled into bed next to her, pulling up the blankets slightly. She was curled up in a fetal position, her eyes bloodshot, her scarlet nose running. Rem cringed at how much of a mess she was but facing the vitality of misunderstanding was conceivable. If she wasn’t going to notice him, at this point he was going to have to make her see that someone was there.
He inhaled deeply, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close while stroking her hair, her head resting against his chest. She was hyperventilating when she reached his warmth, but as the seconds elapsed into minutes, she seemed to calm down. Her breathing slowed to a more manageable pace, and she was clinging to his sleeve as if wanting to keep some grip on this newfound reality.
“You know,” he began, resting his forehead against hers. “When I was younger, my mother used to hold me when I couldn’t sleep, just like this.” He closed his eyes, recalling the woman’s smile, her laugh. She was still here, mostly in spirit. “She was always gone, making sure that others were out of harm’s way. My father was always in meetings or traveling, leading the other nations to prosperity while thinking of everyone, but I sometimes wondered if he just forgot about me.”
Leilana knew the feeling. She was used to solitude herself, with Ennis running off acting as a sitting Warlord, and little friends inside of the Academy to guide her. She could still recall the days where she was awoken early, venture to the Commons Area of her school for breakfast and order the same meal. Life was mundane, empty after his departure. It was only after a few months that she first caught Lancett staring at her from across the tables, buried in a sea of people, Kindall laughing at his side. She could still remember his coy smile and his simple ‘hello’ before their parting.
Never did she imagine that she would walk such a fragile line with people that crossed her path only a select few times. Each meeting brought purpose, just as each parting would muster up memories and thoughts that would forevermore be left unsaid.
“I think about my parents all the time these days. I can still see the flames in Linmus while I watched from the outside. I don’t know what became of their bodies. It’s scary to think about things that you don’t know, people that you miss…” Leilana coughed, and Rem rubbed her back, continuing, “I was used to being around others, but I never showed appreciation to them for taking care of me. I wish that I could thank them, but the only way that I can is by making things right. And I can only do that by becoming a better person, a better leader. This kingdom is mine, and it always will be.”
Leilana’s eyes were drooping, though her mind was still trained on his words. This was her chance at gaining more information on him, and she couldn’t afford to lose it just because the room was a little toastier than she liked.
He pulled back his head, continuing to hold her close. “There’s still a lot that I don’t understand about myself, but now that I’ve breached my own security, I want to make sure that good people live on to see another day. Adrylis doesn’t need to be rushed into a new era. There’s so much life still breathing in this place that doesn’t deserve to just… stop.” He sighed. “I want to guide our people to a better future, and I guess what I’m getting at here is that, well, I need people like you and Solus, and even Sien and Lancett to help me because it’s not possible to complete the task alone.”
When silence was his response, Rem found her resting peacefully. Her mouth was closed, lax snores passing through her nose. Her grip on his shirt loosened. Slumber had come to her suddenly, but at least now she was at peace. It was appreciative, but now that he thought over it, he was pouring his heart out to her, and now she wasn’t going to remember anything about it.
He sighed, resting his chin on her head. Her hair was woven, the texture like silk now that it was washed free of the rainwater scent. “There’s no way that I’m ever getting that emotional again.”
She was the first person that he had opened up about himself to since meeting Solus, always careful about who understood what, and where to place them, but that was a pessimistic nature of nobility—it was easy to be taken advantage of if you allowed just anyone inside of your head. Still, he supposed it was better this way, having someone else relatable to his side. They had both lost people that were important to them, walking this road as one. This was the girl that his best friend had come to cherish, just as he did.
Maybe it was fine to let her into his head just enough for them to resonate if she was willing to do the same for him.
Leilana spent much of the following day sitting with a blank stare, shifting her focus between the window or the teal sheets covering her. No one really bothered her due to her acquired introverted nature, though she was never alone in her room for more than a few minutes throughout the day. It was like trying to talk to a blank wall, but they continued to work as they should to lighten the girl’s mood.
Sien used her shift telling Leilana stories of customers in the tavern that she would prank or form some sort of bond with, and even explained how she and Gale grew up in Linarus before he awoke to his powers and became a self-trained Maester. Luna would provide her with light meals of broth, bread, and water to ease her stomach, though it seemed to go unnoticed as well, which led to the younger girl making pointless spats only to be led out of the room by Gale.
Rem and Solus divided their time caring for their ailing companion and watching out for the Order of Helix, but time and patience seemed to be catching up with them. They spent most of their nights fighting sleep already, but now the concerns were welling up. Rem settled late in the night on practicing his use of barriers; someday, he’d master the ability to conjure one large enough to shield a village from harm for years at a time. It would take practice and effort, but the challenge would be momentous.
The second day was a vast improvement after a wink of sleep on all ends. The most significant difference lied with Leilana glancing at the open door every time someone walked past or came to check on her. Gale brought it up after gathering them, stating that it was a sign that she was coming to terms with what occurred. She needed more time, but everything would work out.
“Mental health is as viable to guard as physical health,” he explained to the three teenagers seated at the kitchen table. “Be sure to keep your eyes open for any significant changes, for all of your sakes. It is easy to lose yourself in times of crisis, but never forget about those that stand at your side.”
Sien observed Rem’s ever-changing facial expressions throughout the explanation, knowing that his mental health was probably the most fragile among them due to the adversaries he’d come to face. Solus folded his hands, taking the statement to heart.
