The Final Lesson, page 28
part #1 of The Final Lesson Series
“She wasn’t feeling well, and she was being reckless! You should have stopped her!”
“Don’t be childish,” he retorted. “You know that I had nothing to do with it. I can’t control when her feet decide to correspond with her heart.”
Solus stood up and walked to the entrance, marveling at the summer storm. Rem’s barrier usage was increasing steadily; the lightning could barely reach it. The rain was striking the ground fiercely and didn’t show signs of stopping, but that ensured that the Order of Helix wouldn’t be running after them anytime soon. Lancett sighed, unfazed by the turn of events. Tensions were high ever since they’d left the shrine, so it was only natural that someone was bound to crack. Luna took a seat, crossing her arms with a scoff, turning up her nose.
“You know, if you were a little more considerate instead of throwing a tantrum, you would’ve thought about how they’re feeling.” Rem jabbed his thumb over at Leilana and Sien. “They’ve had a long day too. That’s all he was getting at.”
Luna’s face reddened, flustered by the twist on her behavior. She crossed her legs, shifting her weight onto her hands. “I’m sorry.”
Solus lowered his head, taking in the girl’s words as he listened from afar. Loneliness, solitude, isolation… they manifested in many forms, and they shaped someone for better or worse. All the people in this cave shared that trait—one way or another, they lived without watchful eyes to guide them, bound together by circumstance.
“We should leave before morning,” Solus told them. “That’s when the storm will be letting up.”
“Leilana won’t be better by morning,” Rem stated, his tone calming with each word passing through his lips. “Can we afford to put her in more danger?”
“Leilana can handle herself,” Lancett responded, propping himself up to a more comfortable position. “If she could move around the shrine the way she did, then exhaustion won’t stop her.”
“Confident,” Luna replied. “That’s not like you at all.”
“Every now and again, I like to see myself as an optimist.”
“Then it’s settled. All of you rest. The barrier should hold for the night and mask our presence.” Solus nodded in acknowledgment to Rem, who grinned in response. “By dawn, we head due north. Any questions, comments, concerns, or retaliation?” Silence from the peanut gallery awarded him a firm ‘no,’ and Solus sighed of relief.
“Are you going to sleep, Sol?” Rem asked while Lancett and Luna were settling into slumber a few minutes later. Solus continued to sit in front of the barrier, his back turned to the group.
“I need to think.”
“You don’t want to talk?”
“No. Not right now.” Rem pulled away from the subject at hand upon hearing the slight irritation in his best friend’s tone. He was accustomed to it when there was something bothering him, but Solus could be an enigma to open eyes. Once he became this way, it was hard to make him change his mind about discussing his problems with someone else.
“Night, Sol,” he whispered. “Try not to be afraid of the dark…”
“Aren’t you going to sleep?”
Solus was trying his best to ignore the constant question, but now that Leilana was addressing him, he felt guilty for remaining awake several hours past everyone else. Dawn was setting in, and though his muscles were stiff and his mind hazy, he sat still. She crawled forward to sit next to him. He knew that she meant no harm, but right now, he was too deep in thought to consider sleeping. That shifter’s face ached him. Harming an ill-intended man was one story, but seeing placing a woman in the same position was gut-wrenching. The woman he murdered in cold blood had intertwined herself with the wrong crowd. He felt nothing initially, but now it was building like impenetrable stone walls; no pickaxe could tear them down fast enough.
“Solus, what are you thinking about?”
It took time to acknowledge her words. A blanket was snugly wrapped around her shoulders for warmth. Seeing her bright blue eyes laced with concern wounded him more than he could comprehend. She didn’t know the lengths he had gone to protect her, to protect Rem. He wasn’t sure how he could ever tell her what plagued his mind.
Where could he begin? Saying that it wasn’t the first time he had isolated himself after a strenuous mishap? Did he just ignore her altogether, tell her to go back to sleep, focus on recovering, and hope that she would leave things at that? He folded his hands to contemplate his words. He didn’t want to sleep. He knew that the nightmares would begin if he had.
“You know,” she began, laying the blanket around his shoulders. “I hurt someone. It was a man. He was larger than any of us. He was trying to pound me into mush with a ball and chain. I don’t remember a lot of what happened in between, but I remember hearing a voice telling me to kill him.” Solus listened without a word of response, his hand gripping to the blanket around his shoulders. He had half a mind to rip it away and return it.
“I’m not sure where it came from, or why. I was so scared because mages aren’t supposed to destroy our sense of morality. Killing people is exponentially high on that list. Amiria lost her way because of something that she uprooted along the way. She’s alone, scared, and I don’t know how to help her. None of us know where she is, what she’s doing, or how to help her without setting her off.” She wrapped her arms around her stomach, staring at the ground, her hair sinking over her eyes. “I don’t want to end up like her. War changes people, doesn’t it…?”
Solus sighed. “Leilana Erovina, you are not going to end up war-torn and alone.”
“That’s not guaranteed, and you know it,” she retorted. “I can’t cast powerful spells without running myself ragged. You’ve seen it happen since we’ve begun, why aren’t you-?”
“Because you have us to guard your life,” Solus responded. Leilana grew silent, resting her hands on the murky ground. Solus continued to stare at her, his expression a mixture of agony and stalwartness. “We are always going to keep you safe. That is what friends do for one another, is it not? I’m not going to keep repeating this.”
“You seem so different lately,” she said softly. “What’s going through your head?”
“I’m not sure that I want to talk about it.”
“It’s all right if you don’t. I understand completely. Just… whenever you do want to talk, and you feel like you can’t go to Rem, you can always come to me.” Solus watched her rise to a stand to return to Rula’s furry solace before lowering his head to be alone with his thoughts once more. “Oh, and Solus?”
Good, she hadn’t given up on him just yet. That was relieving. “Yes?”
Leilana was resting her hand on Rula’s side, gently stroking his fur. “I remember something else Ennis told me. ‘Make friends, ones that will last you a lifetime.’ Sometimes adjusting to hurt can make you stronger. It becomes easier to mend your heart and face more of it rather than hiding and allowing it to consume you.”
“Ennis was a wise man,” Solus agreed. “He had to take in a lot of hurt to become a Warlord. It is how they can divide themselves from omniscience. Magic is a touchy subject for a reason. There’s much that we couldn’t begin to comprehend. You’re well on your way. You’ve already gathered together the strength that buds within you, and you are only going to grow stronger as you move forward.” He rested a hand against the nearby wall, watching lightning streak the sky, the thunderclouds rolling west, away from the overpass of the cave. “You are an Arcana, bound by fate.”
“What does that mean?”
Solus drew in a deep breath before continuing, “I want to ask something. Do you really wish to continue with us, even if there’s a possibility that you’ll lose your morality?”
Leilana stared at him from afar before averting her eyes to the ground, considering his words. Was it the best option to stay? “Why are you bringing this up?”
“You desire to become a Warlord, and staying by our side, continuing your pilgrimage alongside us, will test that morality. You could become corrupted. Do you want to take that risk?”
Things were adding up now; something happened to him inside of the shrine that made him begin to question his own morals. Maybe it was something that involved her, and that was why he didn’t want her to lose herself in midst of the chaos. Why was he so fond of her anyways? He seemed to take pride in knowing her in a manner that differed greatly from Rem. It was almost as if he were…
No. It wasn’t possible. He wasn’t in love with her. They were friends, nothing more. Maybe she was the first female friend he’d had, and he sought to keep her safe for that reason. They didn’t know nearly enough about one another to consider that option.
It was true, she could be corrupted. Lunious wanted her grimoire for himself, likely because of its connection to Ennis. But if the words of his note rang true, without the Lasette, her journey was pointless. She could never become a Warlord.
“No,” she said without hesitation. “I want to stay by your side. You seek the Orb of Concord to end this war. Starting tomorrow, let’s get serious about finding it. We’ll find leads.” Solus started to approach her, finding her heightened sense of determination charming. “We’ll learn about why they created it. I’ll do everything that I can to help you both bring Linmus back to prosperity. Just give me a chance.”
Solus cupped her cheeks in his hands, his expression calm. Leilana’s muscles went stiff, her legs shaking at the sudden contact. Many times, they had interacted this closely, but only now did she notice the hint of brown around his green irises, rivaling the forestry. The morning light was breaking through the dark clouds, the storm coming to pass.
He was leaning closer to her, and the warmth of his drawing breath was welcoming. Maybe he did love her after all, and she was scared to admit it. They were nothing more than comrades fighting for a similar cause. They both wanted to protect Rem, to protect Adrylis, and to better their land. Kissing him would be wrong. Being in love with him was wrong and tore against her pilgrimage. Love was forbidden between a human and a magical denizen. Everything about this seemed so wrong.
Even so, why was she pulling herself closer? Was she in love with him too? How could she allow him to be wrapped in this silly game if they couldn’t stay together?
Before she could utter a retort, his tender lips pressed against hers. She closed her eyes, snaking her arms around his neck to pull him closer. He rested his hands on her hips, then retracted, pulling away with parted lips. Leilana couldn’t stop staring at him, unsure of how to respond, reaching up to touch her lips, the salt on his tongue a fresh taste. He had pulled back too soon, and now she was left with confusion.
Why did she want more? Why did she need more?
“I-I’m sorry,” he whispered, taking a step back not only from the situation but from his racing mind. “I don’t know what I was thinking-”
Leilana grabbed his hand as he tried to retreat, leaning up to kiss his lips once more. Soon after, she wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. Solus couldn’t recall the last time he’d been in someone’s arms like this, even if it made him hesitant, fearful. Not of her, rather of what he felt for her. Why her? Why did it have to be her?
“The love between an Arcana and a human is forbidden, Solus.” Solus knew. He had always known. That was what made this so complicated. “Even so, I won’t leave. I promise to stay. I will see this mission to the end. We’ll finish this together. Everything will work out.”
He wanted to believe it just as much as she did; she could tell by the forced tone he took on. There was an unmistakable hint of sorrow behind his words. There was always a consequence of war.
And it would come to tear them apart.
Rem was the first to take notice of the silence between his two closest companions. Leilana and Solus were walking side by side, Solus with his hands in his pockets while looking off at the trees to keep his attention from whatever plagued his mind, Leilana with her nose in her grimoire. Every now and again, Solus would make sure that she didn’t go bumping into anything, and once or twice he wasn’t fast enough to keep that from happening. She didn’t mind the aches, and he didn’t mind pulling a little legwork to keep her out of trouble.
“So, we’re supposed to be going north, but where do we go beyond that?” Sien asked, juggling a few peaches from a collection of bushes they bypassed on the way. Sure, it was technically stealing, but survival of the fittest goes a long way. Luna was reaching up to snag one from her, but Sien’s superior height won out, the older girl snickering before handing it down to her. Lancett couldn’t help sighing, and Rula couldn’t stop his tail from moving at the excitement.
“I’m thinking that we should aim for Kinsley. It’s en route to Linmus, after all,” Rem concluded.
“Hey now, we’re not nearly ready enough for that!” Sien exclaimed, tossing one of the peaches at him. Rem flinched, catching the delicate fruit before it hit his forehead. His palms were stinging at the contact, but he supposed it wouldn’t have compared to a possible headache. “We’re supposed to be getting leads to find this Orb of Concede-”
“Concord,” Leilana corrected, eyes still on the Lasette.
“Yeah, that. Getting leads on the Orb of Concord to try and stop the crisis going down in Linmus, not charge right in and expect them not to kill us.”
“I wasn’t suggesting that we go right to Linmus. People in Kinsley talk and I mean talk. If we start in a place that’s full of gossip, we’re bound to hear some secrets. And what if one of those secrets happens to revolve around the Orb of Concord?”
“But if the Order of Helix is on our tail, we won’t be able to shake them,” Luna stated, juice from the mouth-watering peach still dribbling down her chin. Sien cleared her throat and Luna set to wiping her face. “Uh, sorry. At least not that easily. Guys like that can be a pain to deal with in the long run-”
“Like skirt-chasers!” Sien finished, resting her hands on her hips, proudly nodding. Lancett and Rem didn’t look amused. It didn’t seem to make sense in the context.
“I think that we should stop before nightfall,” Solus proclaimed, thumbing over the map. “There should be a town up ahead called Erican.”
“Oh! I have a friend that lives there!” Sien beamed. “I’m sure that he’d take us in for the night!”
“All of us?” Lancett mumbled. “Don’t you think we should branch off a little, keep them off our trail?” Sien’s smile was fading at his words, but the more that he spoke, the further that the hurt seemed to spread. She approached him, wrapping an arm around his neck, dragging him down to her level, causing him to stumble.
“No one is going anywhere. They can only follow us for so long with their numbers dropping.” She slapped him on the back and he grunted at the dull ache. “Now then! We’ll stay with my friend! I’ll run on ahead when we get there! I still remember his house!”
“Cici, now that I think about it, didn’t you mention that Gale is-?”
“No, no, Gale is never angry about my mishaps! Don’t joke around, Lulu!” She placed her hands on the younger girl’s shoulders and pushed her ahead. “Off you go now!” Lancett rolled his eyes, continuing down the abundant trail.
“That took a turn,” Rem stated.
“I think it’s refreshing,” Solus replied. “She’s quite optimistic despite her mischievous nature. I think it would be good for us all to have her around for a little while.”
“As long as it’s not a hassle.”
Erican’s close-knit landscape offered less natural elements such as paddies or trees when compared to Linarus. Bushels of roses were nestled under the afternoon sun, planted in front of each individual townhouse, the scent of fresh baked bread and sweets consuming the tiny town.
Upon arrival, the six split off to keep from drawing suspicion. Luna and Sien started for the man known as Gale’s home while Rem and Solus took to guarding the town against any potential intruders from the Order of Helix. That left Leilana and Lancett alone. Lancett didn’t mind; he was thrilled to explore the countryside. Even so, this opportunity alone with her allowed him more time to think of Sien’s statements. Making plans to start over was easy. Following through was difficult. And now that Leilana was settled with Rem and Solus, there was no starting over with her.
Leilana’s face lit up as she started towards one of the bakery booths, sniffing the air. The aroma was fascinating, almost intoxicating to the senses. Bread wasn’t uncommon to find, of course, but fresh out of the oven? There was no finer scent that could rivet the stomach.
The shopkeeper chuckled at her growling stomach before handing off the loaf to her. “Would you like to try some?” She nodded frantically.
Leilana tore into the steaming bread. It was as if she had broken through a piece of heaven, the fragrance hinting of milk and butter. She bit into the fluffy grain, licking her lips before scarfing it down. After ordering a second, she handed off some Nyte coins that Solus had provided her with, hoping that it was enough before trekking over to Lancett, holding up the bread to him. Lancett couldn’t help smiling at her as he broke the bread in half, returning the rest to her.
They didn’t need to utter a word to one another for their friendship to kindle. Knowing that she was still fighting for her goals was admirable—she was determined to keep Adrylis safe in her own way, all while continuing her journey to becoming a Warlord.
“Leilana, there’s something that I want to talk to you about. Do you want to take a walk with me? I’ll buy you more bread for the trip.” Leilana was continuing to beam at the mention of bread, and she nodded. Lancett returned to the booth.
She was calm. Hopefully, it stayed that way.
Lancett’s fingers were clamming up. Leilana was at his side looking around the town. Why was it that every time these topics arose, his nerves were overpowering? The atmosphere did nothing to ease him. Lining each pathway, beaten down the stone walkway, were lifeless and empty buildings. Bakeries and convenience shops were packed with customers, but the homes were desolate. He was adjusting to smaller regions, but he couldn’t deny the lack of calamity compared to the academy or any of the larger cities he had bypassed on his way to Linarus.
